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/lit/ - Literature

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801253

Anonymous Fri Jun 18 04:59:05 2010 No.801253 [Reply] [Original]

I told a lady I wasn't a fan of Twilight at the Barnes and Nobles in town Yesterday. She asked me 'why?'

"I am just not a fan, I didn't like the writing style, the characters, any of it.", was my reply.

"You are just riding the hate train. These are wonderful books!"

"Not to me. I also didn't like how they promoted abusive relationships, but that is another kettle of fish."

"Well, if something encourages more people to read, it should be considered good."

"What makes you think reading is special? It isn't like only a select few members of the world possess the talent. Reading is one of the oldest ways of killing time and entertaining yourself and at one time it was even considered bad for children to start reading because the stories were filled with fighting and mature situations. Don't get me wrong, I love reading as a hobby, but it is definitely not something special and for people to feel it is somehow superior or a 'lost art' or something, well, it just strikes me as naive."

"How can you say such a thing?"

"I don't have my head up my ass."

I then bought my books and left.

inb4 cool story, bro

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:02:05 2010 No.801259 Riveting tale, old chap

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:16:05 2010 No.801303 Slightly entertaining yarn, my good man.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:18:05 2010 No.801310 Sounds like some bullshit you wish you said.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:22:05 2010 No.801317 this sounds completely made up

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:22:05 2010 No.801320 >>801310 This. There's no way you could have spontaneously come up with that speech and remembered it unless you're some sort of fucking master orator or you memorize rants so you could troll fans of Harry Potter and Twilight and then brag about it.

>>	Stagolee !0Pey/QLK3E Fri Jun 18 05:24:05 2010 No.801323 >>801310 >>801310 >>801310

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:25:05 2010 No.801325 So you randomly started ranting about a shitty book to someone, then insulted her when her opinion didn't match yours? Unprovoked? You must be a pretty cool bro, dude.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:27:05 2010 No.801332 Your argument might be valid but no one will take you seriously because of your insistence on framing it in a story woven to make you look cool.

>>

Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:29:05 2010 No.801337

The quick and dirty easy to remember response to

"Well, if something encourages more people to read, it should be considered good."

and the one I use because spouting a rant like the OPs is a good way to get interupted is...

"Are you telling me the medium is more important than the message. That strikes me as incredibly naive."

Then you can improvise and embellish from there by simply describing how incredibly pretentious it is to act that way

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:31:05 2010 No.801340 >>801337 The medium is the message, motherfucker.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:32:05 2010 No.801342 A woman came up to me at Barnes and Nobles asking me what I thought of Twilight. I then proceeded to shit my pants and run home crying to post on /lit/.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:33:05 2010 No.801344 >>801342 Tell me more. Between this and the Sasha Grey thread I'll probably have an orgasm.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:34:05 2010 No.801347 File: 70 KB, 1096x684, 1267551594972.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:36:05 2010 No.801349 >>801340 Fucking Canadians. lol j/k So am I.

>>	sage sage Fri Jun 18 05:44:05 2010 No.801358 File: 145 KB, 600x862, twi-shit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] PIC RELATED, its what really happened also, sage

>>

Anonymous Fri Jun 18 05:47:05 2010 No.801361

>>801344

Well, it all occurred as I was browsing at the bookstore, looking through the manga section in hopes of finding some material to masturbate with later. As I was browsing, a young woman came up to me. She was rather attractive and upon her arrival into my bubble of personal space, which I consider to be roughly a meter around me in all directions, I could feel beads of sweat beginning to trail down my forehead.

"Hello, do you work here? I was wondering if I should buy this book Twilight. Is it any good?"

Now, I meant to tell her that it was a horrible book only worthy of pond scum and the plebeians that encompass the very bottom dredges of our society, but instead of opening my mouth I accidentally opened my anus and proceeded to expel copious amounts of fecal matter in my boxer-briefs.

"Um, are you okay?" she asked, seeing the pained expression upon my face.

"I... uh... I... I need to go."

I attempted to walk in an ordinary fashion but as the shit trickled down my leg I found myself unable to keep my composure. I instead waddled, in a fashion similar to a penguin, and heard the girl scream from behind me, "Oh my god! That guy shit himself! It's trailing all over the floor!"

I turned back to look at the path behind me and a stream of dark brown, stinking shit was following me. As I turned my head in all directions, I saw that the customers and workers within the store were all staring at me in disgust, and one of the employees was talking into a radio, presumably to call security. I booked it out of there, sprint-waddling across the parking lot to my motor vehicle, where my mother was waiting for me.

"Shit your pants again, dear?" she asked me.

"Yeah, mom... I love you," I said to her, wiping the sweat from my brow, as she began to pull out of the parking lot so we get home, where she would then tie me to my racing car bed and shit on my chest.

>>	Stagolee !0Pey/QLK3E Fri Jun 18 05:55:05 2010 No.801375 File: 189 KB, 320x240, orson welles clapping.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>801361

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 06:04:05 2010 No.801392 File: 52 KB, 274x368, 1276658349788.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 06:29:05 2010 No.801438 >>801361 Nice.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 06:41:05 2010 No.801457 >>801361 LMAO

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 06:55:05 2010 No.801471 File: 14 KB, 296x376, 1276720253956.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>801361

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 06:55:05 2010 No.801472 File: 233 KB, 500x498, @batman-laughigh-2907947752_0ab05a44c2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>801361 10/10

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 07:01:05 2010 No.801477 I'd say OP was trolling or making it up but I have this conversation with Twilight fans so often I'm going to believe OP.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 07:07:05 2010 No.801482 >>801477 Although usually Twilight fans call it the greatest romance story of our time and compare it to Romeo and Juliet (probably without ever having read the play).

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 07:09:05 2010 No.801486 >>801482 Oddly, the comparison between the two stands as observations of baseless, hormonal teenage lust.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 07:12:05 2010 No.801490 >>801482 Romeo and Juliet is a terrible romance and one of Shakespeare's weakest plays, so......

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 07:12:05 2010 No.801489 File: 35 KB, 460x432, 1897cool-story-brah-cat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 08:07:05 2010 No.801545 >>801361 >>801358 haha

>>	lovingfeetgirl !rs7/9d0Btg Fri Jun 18 08:09:05 2010 No.801547 THIS ISNT FIT WRONG TURN ,NO LONGER CONFUSED

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 11:10:05 2010 No.801821 >>801253 Argument is very, very valid.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 11:30:05 2010 No.801889 File: 14 KB, 628x479, Batman Grin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>801361

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 11:36:05 2010 No.801902 >>801361 I laughed like a motherfucker

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 18 11:46:05 2010 No.801923 File: 65 KB, 343x420, Salinger-Phony-story-phony-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Sage Fri Jun 18 11:49:05 2010 No.801933 >>801482 A friend of mine told me Eminem was the "Modern Shakespeare", I said nothing and walked away. Havn't spoken since.

>>	HOWL !!aSmliUCu12g Fri Jun 18 16:54:05 2010 No.803279 >>801933 wow, saying a rapper is comparable to a playwright? fuck it would make more sense to say scorsese (but not right). seriously Eminem isn't even the best rapper by a fair margin, I wanna hit that kid so bad.