/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.7915773]

Hi /lit/

I hope this thread doesn't get banned. I'm not trolling.

What personality disorders do you think you have, if any?

And which books, if any, either help deal with that disorder or help articulate it in the form of a character with said disorder?

I've recently had to accept that I am suffering from at least one of them in a way that is overwhelming me and causing me great distress. Would appreciate some reassurance that others either relate or something.

[Anonymous No.7915781]

[Anonymous No.7915799]

>>7915781
Are you being sarcastic or do you recommend this?

[Anonymous No.7915819]

>>7915799
Oh, no, I'm being 100% serious when I say that I recommend it.

[Anonymous No.7915822]

>>7915781
kek'd

>I've recently had to accept that I am suffering from at least one of them in a way that is overwhelming me and causing me great distress
are you sure you know what a personality disorder is? because I can't imagine how any of them could be causing great distress.

[Anonymous No.7915843]

>>7915822
Well I guess you mean that if it were my personality then it wouldn't be distressing me as it would be my default view, but what I mean is that having my perspective dictated by the disorder (I sound like I'm blaming some "other" for my actions and perspective, but I guess I mean "allowing myself to be dictated...") is causing me to live the kind of life I don't necessarily want to be living.

For example, I just read the symptoms of Paranoid Personality Disorder:

1. excessive sensitivity to setbacks and rebuffs;
2. tendency to bear grudges persistently, i.e. refusal to forgive insults and injuries or slights;
3. suspiciousness and a pervasive tendency to distort experience by misconstruing the neutral or friendly actions of others as hostile or contemptuous;
4. a combative and tenacious sense of personal rights out of keeping with the actual situation;
5. recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding sexual fidelity of spouse or sexual partner;
6. tendency to experience excessive self-importance, manifest in a persistent self-referential attitude;
7. preoccupation with unsubstantiated "conspiratorial" explanations of events both immediate to the patient and in the world at large.

And I'd never considered paranoia to be an actual personality disorder / type, but man it frightens me how much I relate not only to this but to other disorders too.

I feel like I'm way too old to be realizing this shit and I feel embarrassed and ashamed for not recognizing and intervening sooner. Feels like I wasted a lot of time.

[Anonymous No.7915874]

>>7915843
>1. excessive sensitivity to setbacks and rebuffs;
>2. tendency to bear grudges persistently, i.e. refusal to forgive insults and injuries or slights;
>3. suspiciousness and a pervasive tendency to distort experience by misconstruing the neutral or friendly actions of others as hostile or contemptuous;
>4. a combative and tenacious sense of personal rights out of keeping with the actual situation;
>5. recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding sexual fidelity of spouse or sexual partner;
>6. tendency to experience excessive self-importance, manifest in a persistent self-referential attitude;
>7. preoccupation with unsubstantiated "conspiratorial" explanations of events both immediate to the patient and in the world at large.

Based on this definition, everyone on this site suffers from this so-called "disease." Sometimes you got to be smart enough to call out BS when you see it.

[Anonymous No.7915892]

>>7915874
Yes but I mean most people on /lit/ for example are I assume living tolerable lives, or at least lives which aren't made poorer by their own lack of mental health. Perhaps I'm wrong. But I feel like I'm just digging a hole and looking for a way out all the time. However comfortable or natural this way of life seems to me, and however well I can justify it by pointing at Author X or Philosophy Y or whatever I feel like the fact I am so instinctively discontented with living this way suggests I am allowing myself to be fucked by myself.

[Anonymous No.7915912]

>>7915892
A religious person can spend their whole life feeling ashamed at themselves for committing certain sins.
An atheist can commit said sins without feeling any sense of remorse.
A person can torture themselves by embracing certain ideals and ideologies. When one sees past these ideologies, they no longer care whether or not they are accepted in Other's eyes.
For example, a person may feel powerless when they believe in the ideal of power. When a person no longer cares for power, they no longer feel powerless. Likewise, if a person believes in the ideal of success, they will feel like a failure if they are not successful. If they no longer care for success, then they can never feel like a failure.

[Anonymous No.7915934]

>>7915912
I realize that. I'm just trying to better myself and remove any mental obstacles I've allowed to remain in place which prevent me from becoming the best person I can be.

For example. I just got essentially kicked out of my apartment by my fucking Mongolian landlord who just said I have to be out in two weeks. Although rationally thinking she has been rude to me both in not replying to my emails in a clear tone and in moving her two sisters into the room next door without asking, I feel like her criticising me or treating me with such little regard is some objective evidence that I am a piece of shit and that the universe (not in a spiritual way or anything like that) is trying to communicate that to me. I often feel like I'm this unwanted guest at a party who is just so fucking obviously out of place and who is too fucking dumb to understand that everyone there wants me to leave.

[Anonymous No.7915974]

>>7915934
>trying to better myself
that's an ideology that you need to look beyond. better or worse is a false dichotomy. as long as you are not physically causing others harm (or abusing them mentally in some way), then you really aren't doing anything wrong.

>I feel like her criticising me or treating me with such little regard is some objective evidence that I am a piece of shit

maybe she's just a bitch.

> the universe (not in a spiritual way or anything like that) is trying to communicate that to me

the universe is a deaf mute. it isn't conscious enough to care about anything.

> I often feel like I'm this unwanted guest at a party who is just so fucking obviously out of place and who is too fucking dumb to understand that everyone there wants me to leave.

again, feeling out of place is a consequence of wanting to be accepted. fuck acceptance. stop caring what others' think. in fact, if you want the truth, most people don't think. they just do things blindly for their own benefit., moving in a semi-conscious state, never really understanding much of anything.

the planet is impartial and nature is decidedly indifferent. this is the way the world works. stop interpreting the norms and ideologies of society as if they were part of the natural order. society, essentially, is a socially constructed land of make-believe and illustrious illusions that people interpret to be true in order to generate meaning. it is this meaning that motivates them and gives them joy in life. how ironic that all their joy (and sorrow) stems from illusions that they falsely interpret to be true. see beyond it. assimilate to the meanings society makes and you'll find joy. deviate from them and you'll be made to feel sorrow or guilt for doing so. or, you can enlighten yourself, ceasing to care about such superficial things. it's up to you.

[Anonymous No.7917016]

>>7915773
guy in OP's pic looks so familiar...

[happy person No.7918359]

>>7915934
I think you could benefit substantially from a good therapist.

You might have paranoid personality disorder or not, but you definitely seem to be distressed, either way a therapist can give you a more objective analysis.

[Anonymous No.7918393]

>>7915773

Pretty sure I have SPD (Schizoid personality disorder). It doesn't affect me greatly, but I get all kinds of weird when I drink.

[Anonymous No.7918412]

every 2 months or so I get the urge to kill myself.

does that count as a personality disorder?
if it does, i have not yet found a book that helps me during these (roughly 1 week long) periods.

[Anonymous No.7918432]

>>7918359
this. a good shrink is always the best solution.

If you really want to self-educate though, take a personality disorder test (such as http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv?stat=1)), then go from there. Because it's not uncommon for a person to suffer from more than one personality disorder, and therefore by fixating on paranoid PD and trying to solve that, you may only end up feeling bad when it doesn't work because there was actually a worse PD that you didn't even uncover in yourself

Mental health hypochondria can even be a thing, so don't just go around reading stuff about all personality disorders and trying to diagnose them in yourself. Everyone can find themselves, to an extent, in the diagnostic criteria of all of them.

Also, this thread belongs on /adv/ (traditional wisdom), or /r9k/ (de facto board for discussing mental health issues)

[happy person No.7918434]

>>7918412
Couldbee, but usually suicide ideation results from a psychological issue (depression, anxiety, etc).

[happy person No.7918446]

>>7918432
Honestly /r9k/ is often toxic for people with issues, not always, but often. There is usually very negative and simple attitudes towards psychology and therapy, and they often egg people on towards suicide. I don't know about /adv/, but at least here at /lit/ you have some knowledgeable people. /fit/ also isn't terrible, but still full of some trolls.

[Anonymous No.7918467]

>>7915773
I think most personality disorder sufferers actually have acute please-make-my-fucked-upness-someone-else's-fault-itis, a semi-rare condition contagious in parent's basements.

Really, everyone has shit like this. Bad shit happens, you ask why, then you either become existential about it, you hate yourself, or you hate someone else. Convincing yourself you have a disease goes in category 3. Adulthood is lonely and noone knows what the fuck they're doing at all. Get used to it,

[Anonymous No.7918496]

>>7915773

Tendencies towards schizoid, but I don't really buy into it. It's not like I don't care about people, I just have a strong need for solitude. No wonder that would be considered a mental disorder in an economy relying increasingly on the service sector.

Szasz, mentioned here >>7915781 is very interesting.

[Anonymous No.7918535]

>>7918467
>Adulthood is lonely and noone knows what the fuck they're doing at all. Get used to it

Nice projection there kiddo, hehe

*steps from the shadows*

truth is most people over the age of eighteen are in loving relationships. The majority are either between relationships, enjoying the freedom of sexual liberation, or severely mentally deformed in a way that will likely contribute to their being alone forever.

See kid, it's like this

*throws down cigarette and grinds it out*

when guys and girls reach a certain age they start feeling something towards the opposite sex...Oooor. okay, sometimes towards their own, but in most cases you get a young guy who starts noticing girls in a different way and starts realizing that his life seems suddenly incomplete without there being a girl he can talk to and be intimate with in ways that are not necessarily ess ee ex ual

*inhales slowly, deeply with head tilted back, then exhales*

now when guys get this way they fall into two different categories. Now most guys belong to the first. See what that means is that when they see a girl they like there's nothing upstairs

*taps temple*

stopping them from going ahead and making their affection known. Sometimes they get shot down, sometimes they get a kiss, and as time goes on kissing changes to...well you know what

*quiet, private laughter*

but then see with kids like you

*motions towards the shadows*

your head's all screwed up from your younger years and your genetic disposition. Mother protected you too much. Daddy was distant. You hear the same stories over and over. You're no snowflake you know, no matter how hard it is to tell yourself you ain't

*subtly motions for the figures emerging from the shadows to stop a few feet away form you*

but what you gotta understand kid is that you ain't right in the head. Your upstairs ain't what it could be. You got too many convictions you don't even know you have until you fuck up so badly that you're made to realize why you're still alone and why none of them girls you loved were ever your girlfriend. But hey, I know you're too stubborn to believe anything I say

*turns abruptly around, cape billowing*

I wanna wish you good luck kid, because God knows you're gonna need it the way you're acting.

[Anonymous No.7918552]

>>7918446
Yeah, I misspoke. I have no experience of personally seeking help there during times of acute distress.

Sorry for giving out potentially dangerous advice. It's a red board, maybe a one level better version of /b/, so I just kinda assumed that everyone automatically expects trolling and toxicity there. But in truth I agree that it should be explicitly pointed out with such delicate matters as mental health.

By all means, OP, stay on /lit/ if you want advice from people who actually read something other than 4chan.

[happy person No.7918591]

>>7918552
:) community building!

[Anonymous No.7918597]

My therapist say that I'm just this guy, you know?

[Anonymous No.7918602]

ASPD

I pissed the bed until I was about 10/11, loved starting fires when I was a kid and hate animals and get get abusive towards them when even slightly intoxicated.

I also get a lot of violent fantasies too and hold disdain for people for the slightest things.

I have found in recent times I rarely read fiction and veer more towards political science, psychology, business and books on duplicity and the like.

[Anonymous No.7918833]

bump

[Anonymous No.7919825]

>>7918432
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv?stat=1))

Disorder | Rating
>ParanoidPersonality | Low
>SchizoidPersonality | Low
>SchizotypalPersonality | High
>AntisocialPersonality | Moderate
>BorderlinePersonality | High
>HistrionicPersonality | Moderate
>NarcissisticPersonality | Moderate
>AvoidantPersonality | High
>DependentPersonality | High
>Obsessive-CompulsivePersonality | High

Uh oh.

[Anonymous No.7919970]

>>7919825

>Paranoid: Low
>Schizoid: Very High
>Schizotypal: High
>Antisocial: Moderate
>Borderline: High
>Histrionic: Low
>Narcissisic: Low
>Avoidant: Moderate
>Dependent: Low
>Obsessive-Compulsive: High


I think I'm schizoid.. not just from this test, from observation and 'research'.

It's a good thing for me. It means I can be productive when I can be arsed. And when I'm arsed, I can be obsessed. I want to be an academic; it'll work out.

[Anonymous No.7919991]

I probably have a treatable dose of APD. Have been missing school exams and classes since early childhood, not cleaning my room until it's a pig's stry -even dangerous to be in-, I avoid most social situations and have trouble mantaining any sort of relationships, and i also have a lot of trouble seriously commiting to anything.

It's pretty shitty to be honest. I should probably see a therapist, but i like living in my fantasy worlds of books, social media, and abstract philosophies.

[Anonymous No.7920005]

>>7919825
Honestly I think that the test is bunkers. If you were any of those things and had a small amount of self reflexiveness (which i assume most of /lit/ has) you'd know (except for narcissism, i suppose). I myself have a huge APD and am a very chilled person yet my highest PD rating in the test was for OCP.

[Anonymous No.7920016]

>>7918432
Oh

[Anonymous No.7920019]

>>7915773
nah

[Anonymous No.7920372]

>>7915843

>1. excessive sensitivity to setbacks and rebuffs;
>2. tendency to bear grudges persistently, i.e. refusal to forgive insults and injuries or slights;
>3. suspiciousness and a pervasive tendency to distort experience by misconstruing the neutral or friendly actions of others as hostile or contemptuous;
>4. a combative and tenacious sense of personal rights out of keeping with the actual situation;
>5. recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding sexual fidelity of spouse or sexual partner;
>6. tendency to experience excessive self-importance, manifest in a persistent self-referential attitude;
>7. preoccupation with unsubstantiated "conspiratorial" explanations of events both immediate to the patient and in the world at large.

Underground Man. right there.

[Anonymous No.7920388]

>>7915773
Fuck I love Molina's stuff

[Anonymous No.7920397]

>>7915773
Personality disorders aren't real.

Don't use a computer AT ALL for at least 2 weeks, stop jacking off, eat more meat, stop eating grains, start working out (add cardio if you already lift) and get at least 20 minutes of direct, full-body sun exposure every day and you'll clear right up.

[Anonymous No.7920411]

>>7915773

I'm a paranoid schizophrenic with a subset panic disorder. Diagnosed by multiple doctors both retained by me and those retained by my insurance agency.

I honestly think /lit/ makes it worse but I come here just the same because the last human being I talked to was a cashier at a gas station three weeks ago.

[Anonymous No.7920419]

>>7920411
>the last human being I talked to was a cashier at a gas station three weeks ago.
This is the root of your problem. You're not sick, you're just a victim of modern alienation.

>inb4 muh doctors
Medicine is a meme.

[Anonymous No.7920420]

>>7920411
>I come here just the same because the last human being I talked to was a cashier at a gas station three weeks ago.
Fucking poetry.
Clicked with me, though i'm kind of a more social dude I guess.

What are your favorite reads? Especially interesting in your poetry habits

I think you'd love Whitman and how he describes other humans

[Anonymous No.7920426]

>>7920397
This right here. Also talk to strangers. It's really fucking easy.

[Anonymous No.7920449]

>>7920426
I disagree, I'd say one finds more value in nurturing the close relationships one already has. Wide-spanning interaction I don't believe is necessarily healthy.

[Anonymous No.7920453]

>>7920419
I mentioned my doctors just so I wouldn't have to deal with "muh self-diagnosis".

And I essentially choose not to talk to humans because I almost always have a psychotic episode that lasts for days when I do. I used to be a salesman but it just snapped in me and now I can hardly function. I'd love to be social again but I have a mental seizure with every conversation.

>>7920420
Fiction: Mishima, Philip K. Dick, Mary Renault, Honore de Balzac, Angela Carter, Kathy Acker, Peter Ackroyd, Harlan Ellison, James Baldwin, Virginia Woolf, Thomas Wolfe, Lu Xun.

Poetry: Pound (Pisan Cantos), Byron's Childe Harold, Shelley's The Clouds, Blake (pretty much everything), Whitman (Calamus especially), the Book of Songs.

[Anonymous No.7920459]

>>7920453
>I used to be a salesman but it just snapped in me and now I can hardly function. I'd love to be social again but I have a mental seizure with every conversation.
This is sort of what I'm talking about here >>7920449

Talking to people does not necessarily imply being social, nor does interacting with lots of strangers alleviate alienation when our culture is essentially atomized.

[Anonymous No.7920473]

>>7920459

That's fair enough. I'm not certain that's me but I can see your point and it's legitimate.

[Anonymous No.7920474]

>>7920453
I'm not so well versed in fiction but I actually kind of don't get Balzac and Dick. Same with Byron and Shelley, i find them boring and uninteresting for the most part.

Neat poetry taste though. Weird not seeing some T.S. Eliot or Sylvia Plath

[Anonymous No.7920481]

i have schizophrenia and you are all posting about personality disorders
>ctrl+F bpd,bipolar,psychotic all no results
>one person posts they have schizophrenia
>the rest of this thread is people posting results from online quizlets

[Anonymous No.7920504]

>>7920481
fuck i meant to say "youre all posting about personality disorders, yet"

[Anonymous No.7920519]

>>7920474
I'm not well-versed in modern poetry aside from Pound (who isn't that modern) and Ginsberg (who is very hit-or-miss for me) so we're kind of at opposite ends of the spectrum, haha.

Balzac is among my favourite reads because of Lost Illusions, a novel I regard to be among the most moving things I've ever read. Pere Goriot wasn't my cup of tea but the man wrote so many novels its impossible for him not to be hit-or-miss. Dick is a love him or hate him writer for most people, I think.

[Anonymous No.7920536]

>>7918535
You sound like a fedora wearing prick.

[Anonymous No.7921455]

>>7920426
>Also talk to strangers. It's really fucking easy.

Bullshit.Unless they're old.

[Anonymous No.7921460]

>>7920481
>mental disorder elitism

[Anonymous No.7921759]

tfw avoidant

[Anonymous No.7921784]

>>7918412
>>7918412
Try the Bible.

[Anonymous No.7923457]

>>7920536
it's obvious bait you silly knob

[Anonymous No.7923674]

>>7915974
Just do what this guy says and totally detach yourself from the world. It'll help you get out of the way of people actually trying to do something.

>muh spooks

[Anonymous No.7923683]

>>7918535
Oh boy! New pasta!

[Anonymous No.7923844]

>>7921759
same. i have alienated myself from everyone and have formed anxiety i never had before over the past year and a half. i feel like i really fucked up.