Lit Battle

[Anonymous No.7873496]

>check threads
>all shit

Time for a Lit battle.

Pick any author or fanbase and tear them to shreds like you're in a rap battle.

No rules. No mercy.

[Anonymous No.7873502]

kysmm

[Anonymous No.7873579]

scrolling through /lit/ what do i see
a brand new thread made by the fag OP
just as i thought his concept was shite
but he mentioned battle raps so i said 'aight'
you can't fuck with me - i'm the keyboard champion
try all you want, my style can't be dampened
you're wasting my time so i gotta dip
OP keep your day job - eating dicks

[Anonymous No.7873601]

my name is jeff and I'm here to say.
anyone read john green? nigga you fuckin gay.
suckin Dicks and lickin titties look at me I'm keisha damn girl where you get these titties. itty-bitty bitty baby itty-bitty boat habeeb it

[Anonymous No.7873617]

Good evening. I would like to begin by introducing myself. My name is Hydrogen and I come from a
low income neighborhood where life is not very comfortable. I've stolen many things, and been involved in many altercations; most of which ended in gunfire. In addition to this Ive had sexual intercourse with a great number of the opposite sex. In contrast, and despite the lack of legitimate evidence, I believe you too have been in a involved in a number of homosexual activities. Activities I, and my companions, look down
Upon. I am so much stronger then you. and my powers of rhetoric are so much greater than yours
that you can employ an army of some sort to aid in your fight with me; but I would
of course prevail because I am stronger then you. Im sure I neednt remind you of my place of birth
Where, and as I explained before, the living conditions are much worse than in your fore motioned
city of residence. I would like to stop here for a moment and remind you that I am, in fact. orating
with little, or no, prior preparation. An act commonly referred to as freestyling. Once again, and I
think this bares repeating, I would like to restate my claim that I am, in fact, much stronger and,
have endured a larger number of hardships then you. Hardships which have left me with an aggressive
behavior and imposing demeanor which I believe frightens you. I know of a women with whom you have
had sexual intercourse. I too have had sexual intercourse with said women and she complained to me
of your less then exemplarily performance in bed. She went on to explain to me in graphic details
the dimensions and particulars of your genitals; and I tell you what she said was not very generous, Sir.
In conclusion, I would like to leave you with a brief summary of my argument: you sir are a weak,
timid, and untrustworthy homosexual. The city in which you live is not nearly as difficult to live
In, nor is it in such a high state of disrepair as mine. I am superior monologist in this debate,
and any claim to the contrary will result in physical violence, and perhaps even death.

[Anonymous No.7873626]

Yo yeah, ¿Qué dices leer? ¿Jhon Green? Que te puedo decir..Sus fans son una mierda y se comen una verga, habla pendejadas y se come muchas pollas por eso es que escribe mariconadas.
Sus fans comformistas anti-racistas y feministas, además de ser narcisitas.
¿Jhon Green? yo te digo JHON CENA.

[Anonymous No.7873657]

Borges bores me with his fruitless allegories,
His retarded ramblings(boy, you are not Pessoa),
The excessive symbols strewn about like in some weeb's Eva fanfics,
What a piss-of, really:
Just some numb prose, with alliterations littering the barely literary consumer-driven drivel.

[Anonymous No.7873675]

yeah this garbage sure is bucking that shit trend

[Anonymous No.7873688]

>>7873617
Dope evening. I wanna begin by introducin mah dirty ass yo. Hoes call me Hydrogen n' I come from a
low income hood where game aint straight-up comfortable. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I jacked nuff thangs, n' been involved up in nuff altercations; most of which ended up in gunfire. In addizzle ta dis Ive had horny-ass intercourse wit a pimped out number of tha opposite sex. In contrast, n' despite tha lack of legitimate evidence, I believe you too done been up in a involved up in a fuckin shitload of homosapien activitizzles fo' realz. Activitizzles I, n' mah companions, look down
Upon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be so much stronger then you, biatch. n' mah powerz of rhetoric is so much pimped outa than yours
that you can employ a army of some sort ta aid up in yo' fight wit me; but I would
of course prevail cuz I be stronger then you, biatch. Im shizzle I neednt remind you of mah place of birth
Where, n' as I explained before, tha livin conditions is much worse than up in yo' fore motioned
citizzle of residence. I wanna stop here fo' a moment n' remind you dat I am, up in fact. orating
with lil, or no, prior preparation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. An act commonly referred ta as freestyling. Once again, n' I
think dis bares repeating, I wanna restate mah claim dat I am, up in fact, much stronger and,
have endured a larger number of bullshits then you, biatch yo. Hardships which have left me wit a aggressive
behavior n' imposin demeanor which I believe frightens you, biatch. I know of a dem hoes wit whom you have
had horny-ass intercourse. I too have had horny-ass intercourse wit holla'd dem hoes n' dat thugged-out biiiatch complained ta me
of yo' less then exemplarily performizzle up in bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch went on ta explain ta me up in graphic details
the dimensions n' particularz of yo' genitals; n' I rap what tha fuck her big-ass booty holla'd was not straight-up generous, Sir.
In conclusion, I wanna leave you wit a funky-ass brief summary of mah argument: you sir is a weak,
timid, n' untrustworthy homosapien. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Da hood up in which you live aint nearly as hard as fuck ta live
In, nor is it up in such a high state of disrepair as mine. I be superior monologist up in dis debate,
and any claim ta tha contrary will result up in physical shit, n' like even dirtnap.

[Anonymous No.7873783]

Ain't a day pass I don't see shitters on /lit/,
my big cock tearin' pleb-ass critters to bits.
Ain't a day pass without 10 threads gay as hell,
duck fuckboys, as I'm spraying my shells.
Ain't a day pass I don't see a hundred memes,
but never was any one of them deemed supreme,

[Anonymous No.7873805]

>>7873502
>>7873579
>>7873675

Look at these jealous fellas hatin' on a niggas thread
They want more memes of suicide and white pride and STEM heads
Fact o' matter is they're lame like David Wallace chicks
And they'd rather waste their time suckin' on small Greek dicks
I'm so sorry to come and break up yet another circlejerk
Forgive me I forget /lit/'s the same each day like clockwork
And God forbid I don't discuss Pynchon or Joyce again
And God forbid you don't turn off the screen and pick up paper and pen
It's probably for the better God knows you don't know shit
And that you'd rather sit and bitch than prove you got wit
Because you ain't got shit to say, you're dumb, your brain's spent
In the immortal words of Bloom - no discernible talent

[Anonymous No.7873969]

>>7873617
10/10

[Anonymous No.7874003]

So you're saying that I can't rap
Well, n-word, you're about to get smacked
Listen well, while I destroy your genitalia
After i'm done you'll be irrelevant like thalia
You read slow and your breath smells like ass
Don't even respond to that, you have no sass
Can you even write? I'm not just being rude
I'm actually wondering if you're just a pseud.
Now go fuck off and tell your mom i'm a meanie
But not when I'm penetrating her with my weenie

[Anonymous No.7874004]

>>7874003
*while, instead of when at the end

[Anonymous No.7874585]

>>7873657
Are you talking about pessoa?
that hungry skeleton is not even bipolar,
the anorexic bitch is actually tripolar
Just watching his weak sight
fills my day with melancholy
If you can't get Borges's Mastery
please die painfuly