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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 68 KB, 620x923, blood-meridian-cormac-mccarthy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7870653 No.7870653 [Reply] [Original]

what was the Judge's fucking problem?

>> No.7870687

he was bullied

>> No.7870717

The judge: evertything that exists without my knowledge exists without my consent
Me: take a chill pill

>> No.7870737

me:: have u ever done,, Weed

Judge: No. Tell me what it is, so I may destroy it.

me: a ha dude you aint gona want to when u knaow. and knowing..is half of trying... have a puff man

Judge: A... puff?

me: (tokes) watch (tokes) ok do that

Judge: (gripping bong) I... fine. (tokes)

Later that day!

Judge (naked and dancing): WOOO! FUCK THE COPS! FUCK THE COPS, YEAH!

>> No.7870747

When the judge was in first grade he told a girl he liked her and she laughed and ran away and told her friends and they pointed at him and laughed. That's when he decided to become the judge.

>> No.7870755

Yet another high quality thread on /lit/

>> No.7870756

>>7870717
>>7870737
dank

>> No.7870764

>>7870737
Judge: (surfing) You were correct, Mike! The west has not got NOTHING on the Bay Area in California! Party... ON!

me: ha hHa ha ha yes dude yes youre doing it youre doing it, youre finaly free,

Judge: (flips through the air, cranking up the rap music on his boombox, still surfing) Yeeeeeeeeeeee-HAW! Oh, man! I'm so happy!

>> No.7870766

corncob yecarthy wouldn't give him a real name and wrote him as a mascot for an ideology.

>> No.7870782

The judge: Let's do some sick violence
Little girl: Mister, here's a flower
The judge: ....

>> No.7870791

Judge: (rapping) Reality is but an untruth made for murder,
Niggas dig it deep like it's a fucking burger
Scarf down all the lies like a baby with a bib
And drop it like it's hot while the pimp's in the crib!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT! (rides motorcycle through several flaming rings, peels out)

Everyone: (applauds)

>> No.7870794

>>7870782

Did this actually happen in the book?

>> No.7870797

>>7870794
yeah

>> No.7870816

The Kid: Uh judge?
Judge: What is it, child?
The Kid: Do you, do you ever get--um, sad? Like about everything. All the suffering. (spits nervously on ground) The absent and unmerciful godhead. And how we're all, in the end, pretty alone, and we can't be sure we'll ever understand each other, and nihilism and violence arent really very comforting, I mean not in the long run. Knowing youre just a bunch of atoms. And whatever soul you have is lost. No one will hug you and mean it. Haha that kind of thing
Judge: ... N-no. Im happy because life is bad. I never... cry. Im the ubermensch. Im strong. Can I have a minute please

>> No.7870853

>>7870737
>>7870764
Shit. There should have been way more tortillas, corncobs, spitting, riding horses and 'ye's

>> No.7870857

>>7870766
not for an ideology...
...but for PURE IDEOLOGY
*sniffs*

>> No.7870873

DERV: Im a traveller from another universe, where the stuff that happens in BM is just a story. But here it's real. I always wanted to show past folk stuff from my time, get their reactions.

JUDGE: I see. And what do you wish to show me?

DERV: Okay so uh this will need some prefacing. We uh we have this thing called cartoons, it's like, we can make drawings move and they have sound and stuff, and we use them to tell stories.

JUDGE: Go on.

DERV: Okay so and, there's this cartoon, it came out in 2008. It's about one of your favourite things: horses. Ponies to be precise. Little ponies. (opens laptop, presses play on video) And uh so you see I wanted you to uh see this, and tell me what you think of the future. Your future.

VIDEO: my little pony, my little pony~
ahhh ahhh ahhhhhh~

JUDGE: I've decided to become a murderer and rapist.

>> No.7871010

Big J. - Ye be shall not exist unto me, nonetheless ye'all exist. Shit.

(Big J. and Lil' K. share some corn-based flat circles of thin layers of corn-based fryed corn)

Lil' K. - Just get ye' dingus outta ye' Levi's' 666, ye dingus. Also, - (Lil' K. passes the doobie to Big J.) - blaze it, ye big dingoo'd queer.

Big J. - Shit nigger this is some Jamaican goods we got here oh shit I ain't even using ye punctuation oh oh Duran Duran sick Wolfe beat dururutudu uma hungry like Ze Wolfe ain't I some nihilistic son of a gun huh lil k like uma pendejon ayy I'll fugg ye arse so hard niggers be like oh my fugg and guys be talkin bout looking for meaning in innocent fugging full stoppe

Lil' K. - Smash it up, old sport. Inside me; oh, bananas!

FIN (???)

>> No.7871018

>>7870653
Being written by a Ye-ing corncob tortilla.

>> No.7871130
File: 277 KB, 870x790, 1452513658051.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7871130

why am I laughing so hard

>> No.7871156

Kid: *spitting nervously into tortilla*
The Judge: *looming over the Kid, death in his eyes* I have judged you... guilty.
Nearby pony: *whinnies*
Kid: *shrinks back, whimpering and spitting*
The Judge: Guilty of forgetting my birthday! For the SECOND time!
Kid: I... I'm sorry judge... I just had a lot goin on and...
The Judge: SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! *slaps the kid while crying, expression one of pure fury*
Kid: *staggers* O-owch... ow.... *starts crying*
The Judge: *storms away, already writing up a callout post on his iphone* You're a JERK!

>> No.7871161
File: 62 KB, 601x601, 4chan-tf2-Team-Fortress-Игры-1916454.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7871161

>>7871156
literally him

>> No.7871221

>>7870747
>>7870816
>>7870873
>>7871156

BM fan fiction has such great potential in the hands of this talented anon.

>> No.7871232

>>7870653
He was a bit of an edgy misanthropist, you see. An intelligent nihilist with a wicked sense of humour, if you will.