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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 19 KB, 480x323, Vonnegut hey there.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739614 No.739614 [Reply] [Original]

Hey there, newfags. It's me.

Kurt.
Fucking.
Vonnegut.

You're probably thinking "the fuck? i thot he was dead!!!"

Wel thats because you are just a stupid piece of horse shit.

I've been living underground for a long time, but i've decided to finally return to the literary scene.

The only problem is after all this time, i've forgotten how to write - this is where you faggots come in. I need each of you to write me a one to two paragraph synopsis of what you think should be my next masterpiece.
The only requirements are as follows:

1. Must include appearance by Kilgore Trout
2. Must have at least a little science fiction
3. Must be totally fucking awesome

GET TO WORK /lit/. MY CAREER DEPENDS ON IT!

>> No.739641
File: 105 KB, 650x484, kurt_vonnegut_smoking_left.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739641

looks like its going to be a while. mind if I have a smoke or two?

>> No.739662
File: 64 KB, 432x558, kurtvonnegut-disgustedsmoking.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739662

maybe one more...

>> No.739666

Nice to see you, Kurt. A friend just picked up god bless you Dr Kevorkian for me.

so, for your next book: one of Kilgore trout's short stories is made into a radio play, which gets broadcast into space. a race of aliens receive the broadcast and, because his story is so close to being about them, they abduct him to help their dieing race. He's unsure at first but he reluctantly agrees and off they go.

that could be a bit at least.

>> No.739685
File: 16 KB, 251x312, vonnegut disappointed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739685

>>739666
>>666

nice triples, dude but your ideas are not very good.
what else have you got for me, /lit/...

>> No.739686

Hey, Kurt. I loved Welcome to the Monkeyhouse. Especially Harrison Bergeron.

>> No.739692

Kilgore Trout is sent to Tralfamadore as a test subject for an experimental NASA program. He arrives there only to find that Tralfamadore is abandoned. As he finds a radio transmission station, the greeting that Salo was to deliver to Tralfamadore in Sirens of Titan reaches it.

"Greetings."

Kilgore feels the message is designed specifically for him (seeing as he's the only person on Tralfamadore) and sets about worshipping the transmission tower in hopes of receiving another message.

Then Vonnegut steps in and tells Trout it was all part of another novel and he apologizes for the mix-up. He then transports Trout back to Earth, where he returns to his apartment with his bird none the wiser.

>> No.739698

>>739685
gee thanks.

>> No.739702
File: 114 KB, 360x447, kurt-vonnegut laugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739702

>>739686

thanks, but I was high when I wrote that.
If you have any plot suggestions, I would really appreciate it, chief.

>> No.739716
File: 19 KB, 300x384, kurtvonnegut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739716

>>739692

Now this shit sounds more like me!
Keep em coming, you c/lit/ munchers!

>> No.739739
File: 21 KB, 250x307, rodney_dangerfield.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739739

I will never have you write another book report for me again!

>> No.739740

>>739716

I don't think I like your tone, Mr. Vonnegut...

>> No.739741

I'm sorry, Mr. Vonnegut, but even after your death, nobody out of high school reads your works.

>> No.739751
File: 83 KB, 490x591, trollrand.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739751

A woman with strong mental drive and business sense is dropped in a world of supposed capitalism that is really a thinly veiled socialist society complete with lying dirtbags in government. One of these dirtbags turns out to be her brother, and he also is the president of the business she inherited. She falls in love with a similar-minded individual and strives to conquer the socialists in the name of capitalism, along with a select group of fellow businesspeople.

>> No.739753
File: 30 KB, 299x450, vonnegut- disappoint.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739753

>>739741

awww, that made me sad...then I remembered that i'm a famous author, and you're just an elitist 4chan lurk.

>> No.739756
File: 33 KB, 300x300, joseph-heller-071609-lg-12933060.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739756

This is an extremely clever homework thread.
Thanks Kurt, one day I, Joseph Heller, will get other faggots from /lit/ to do my homework for me, because I am a clever faggot.

>> No.739761
File: 35 KB, 350x512, kurtvonnegut-avoiding.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739761

>>739756

this thread ain't big enough for the both of us, you jackass!

>> No.739783
File: 10 KB, 229x280, Joseph Heller.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739783

>>739761
You know what Kurt, you are right. I will leave and finish my homework now, and I advise you do as well. Procastination is the thief of time. Remember that.

>> No.739806
File: 103 KB, 344x344, kurt-v-on-a-plane.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739806

>>739783

You're right, Joe. I'm sorry I've been acting like such a jerk. can we still be friends?

>> No.739818
File: 8 KB, 225x250, Joseph_Heller_Bro.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739818

>>739806
No, and get off of that fucking plane.
Dipshit.

>> No.739832
File: 88 KB, 431x304, 120407vonnegut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
739832

>> No.739850

holy fuck gayest thread ever

HUR HUR HUR AUTHORS TAKING 2 EECHOTHER

YES I AM MAD

SAGE FAGOGTSAT
WGWA
G
GEWAG
WE
GW

>> No.740028

>>739850
Why does no one know how to sage?

>> No.740055
File: 47 KB, 383x482, james.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
740055

>>739614
Pedant.