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/lit/ - Literature

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7332605 No.7332605[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>Try to impress a cute girl by using the word "lackadaisical".
>Accidentally pronounce it "vagina".
>tfw

>> No.7332608

>>7332605
>Using words a girl wouldn't know
You wanna impress her or confuse her? You won't get both.

>> No.7332609

>>7332605
>decide to go to /lit/ after taking a week long break from the Internet
>see this thread
>tfw

>> No.7332617
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7332617

>Try to impress a girl by telling her I read
>Accidentally tell her that more women don't read because their intellectually inferior and incapable of empathy
Tfw

>> No.7332621

>Try to impress a girl by talking about some obscure history fact
>Accidentally rape her instead
>tfw

>> No.7332632
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7332632

>>7332621

>> No.7332648
File: 36 KB, 460x793, otto-weininger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7332648

>>7332617
>telling her the truth
She should be grateful.

>> No.7332655

hello reddit!

>> No.7332662

>>7332609
Why'd you take a week long break from the Internet?

>> No.7332678

>>7332662
A local internet outage in Southern California for AT&T customers nocked me back into the 1980's for a week

>> No.7332685

>>7332678
Did you do anything product in that time? Tell us what kind of /lit/ you were acquainted to in that time, anon.

>> No.7332700

>>7332605
Three friends from the office gathered at the bar, chatting over beer. The first says,

"Man, you'll never believe what happened to me today. My wife studies the robber barons, Andrew Carnegie, and all, so I went to surprise her with plane tickets to Pittsburgh. But instead, I accidentally told her I bought two pickets to Tittsburgh!"

"That isn't bad," says the second, "today over breakfast, I was going to tell my wife, 'Pass the sugar, honey,' but instead I accidentally said, 'You've ruined my life stupid ugly whore.'"

The third man takes a long gulp of beer and says, "That's nothing. This morning, after thinking on it for months, I had finally worked up the courage to tell my wife exactly what you told yours, and instead I just said, 'Pass the sugar, honey.'"

>> No.7332721

>>7332700
...

>> No.7332743

>>7332700
I don't get it.

>> No.7332749

>>7332743
shutup mudderfuckers, that shit was halarious! Tssk.

>> No.7332823
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7332823

>>7332700
>mfw my doctor told this exact joke to me a week ago.

>> No.7332841

>>7332700
Can someone explain this? Is it that asking the wife to do a task for him is chauvinistic?

>> No.7332884

>>7332721
>>7332743
>>7332841
The joke is that the guy didn't have the courage to tell his wife that he hates her and so just said a mundane thing instead. The humour is that we can't say what we're really thinking, especially in relationships.

>> No.7332921

>>7332884
>joke
>humour

>> No.7332929

>>7332884
I still don't get it.

I'm too autistic for normalfag jokes.

>> No.7332931
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7332931

>>7332617
I lol'd