/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.719744]

OK, basic structure to an opening to a book I'm trying to write. I would like some advice and criticism if you have any. This is supposed to be a one page introduction by the protagonist and the second chapter is when he starts the actual plot.

[Anonymous No.719759]

I lived a life as good as anyone could have thought. No one could deny I was looked after. I attended the Boy's School for Scholarly worship and received good enough marks. Teachers told me I was intelligent and I did not take the remark lightly. By playing on various sports teams I managed to have quite a few friends - Jeremy and Bernard being among the best. I was fairly well-liked.

[Anonymous No.719768]

>>719759
I led a modest life, living with my father, mother and sister. My father had steady work at a factory making War materials and was able to afford a small house and a family car. My mother kept a nice home. On days when I would stay home sick, I remember sitting and watching her clean her home. She seemed so happy moving though out her rooms sweeping and dusting. Afterwards she would make me a snack and just sit there watching me eat. She seemed so beautiful then.

[Anonymous No.719778]

>making War materials

Also, Oedipus FUCKING EVERYWHERE

[Anonymous No.719782]

>>719768
I never took bother to dwell on our meager lifestyle - everyone I could think of was in the same situation. There was never much to question, never much to ask, for the answers were readily apparent. We all lived under a complex social dichotomy. We were taught the simple virtues of love and compassion while being led with fear, suspicion and hate. I am sure now more than anything that there is truth in the credo 'Ignorance is bliss'.

[Anonymous No.719786]

your style is nice, dont know bout the story yet...

[Anonymous No.719794]

>>719786
Thanks. I think I'm going to post the second chapter later if anyone else wants me to. It's annoying that I can't copy and paste from my text editor; I have to type it all up in the comment box. For some reason whenever I try to, I get a message "sorry part of your post isn't allowed =("

[Anonymous No.719800]

>>719759
Needs an opening sentence that grabs you.
Something that sums up the character of the protagonist in a flash, a sentence you can repeat in context later.
Name "the" teacher that told the protagonist he was smart. Makes it more personal, a remark the reader can obviously see the character relates to. Also, name the sport he favors.

>>719768
Go into the spesifics of his fathers work. One or two sentances should be enough but don't be afraid to throw in a recolection of his that summarizes the type of person his father is/was.
"She seemed so beautiful then". Expand on that.

[Anonymous No.719811]

>>719800
This little blurb in the front of the book isn't meant to give any idea of the character's personality. I get into that more in the next chapters. Besides he works mostly as an observer, not exactly giving too much input. But yeah I like the idea of adding a sentence to as the natures of the father's job, thanks.

[Anonymous No.719812]

>>719800
And the part about elaborating on the sport. That helps too, thanks.

[Anonymous No.719813]

>>719782
>We were taught the simple virtues of love and compassion while being led with fear, suspicion and hate.
Ad a short anecdote that quickly explains what the character feels is ment by that.

[Anonymous No.719856]

>>719812
No problem. It's my opinion that the best 1-person intruductions should always be written as a short of a mini-rant; A way for the protagonist to reflect, favorably or not, on the calm before the storm. More than just an Introductory device, it should also forshadow in some minor way what the reader should or should not expect from the main character's personality, thus organically easing the reader into the tale.
But I digress and wish you good luck OP.

[Anonymous No.719993]

pretty good. i like the simplicity.