Write an opening sentence

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Write an opening sentence Anonymous Mon Sep 14 08:31:30 2015 No.7113786 [Reply] [Original]

There was nothing in the star-filled sky that could have hinted at what would come to pass that night.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 08:36:01 2015 No.7113794 The sound of livestock echoed over the farmlands, and, in an off-white house, a farmer and his family slept. Wheat danced in the wind, gilded by the early rays of dawn. It was Sunday: the Sabbath.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 08:44:27 2015 No.7113811 As I inserted my penis into the anus of that poor boy I had the most inviting of thoughts; perhaps I am homo

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 08:44:57 2015 No.7113813 And I said: My other head is my other head.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 08:48:04 2015 No.7113821 File: 543 KB, 1280x1707, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7113786 It's hard to describe what it feels like to stamp someone's head into the pavement, but I'll give it a try.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 08:50:28 2015 No.7113824 File: 386 KB, 835x1024, Blake.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7113811 Win. >We imagine ourselves vessels of Progress while we occupy a wreck

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:26:23 2015 No.7113898 I swilled the bitter tea around my mouth and cursed the weekend working cunt that served me it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:31:19 2015 No.7113910 These are all corny shit. Inb4 post yours. I'm not deluded enough to think I should write a novel

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:35:39 2015 No.7113925

>>7113786
He was a dark and stormy knight; the pain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of indifference which swept up his veins (for it is the body that our scene lies), rattling along the hair follicles, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of his eyeballs that struggled against the darkness.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:35:47 2015 No.7113926 >>7113786 I dream every night now, and I am in hate with it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:42:36 2015 No.7113950 A white alien in a black industry, it was quite the surprise when in the beginning it only took one pair of coin-slot money-bank ears to make BET phone home.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:42:47 2015 No.7113951 >>7113910 >Coming up with an opening line means you will wright a novel. Anon...

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:46:27 2015 No.7113969 >>7113786 Ulysses had just finished crossed the Gravity's Rainbow which lead to the land of Infinite Jest when a man approached him and said "Ur a faget."

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:50:07 2015 No.7113991 Hourly rates are high enough, rents are low enough- not one of those assembled speaks up to contradict her, content to enjoy the bagels provided.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 09:57:28 2015 No.7114016 File: 1.49 MB, 2000x1333, Slavoj_Žižek_2013_(8556931759).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] A spectre is haunting the west. The spectre of Zizek.

>>	not black Mon Sep 14 10:00:35 2015 No.7114022 >>7113969 >no Shakespeare Fuck off pleb

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:05:31 2015 No.7114039 I stopped sleeping after they found little Abby in that suitcase.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:06:53 2015 No.7114042 >>7114022 That's the classical meme trilogy of Homer Dante and Shakespeare.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:08:59 2015 No.7114043 See the fedoraman. He is pale and fat, he wears thin and ragged linen underpants.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:11:53 2015 No.7114051 Sadly, gaunt Phuc Guffagim came from the stairwell, bearing a plate of sawdust on which a square of metal and a blunt stick lay parallel.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:13:35 2015 No.7114057 A dead silence comes across the ground.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:14:35 2015 No.7114061 I’m standing in an open field, surrounded by nothing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:16:14 2015 No.7114064 As Gretta Samantha awoke one afternoon from pleasant daydreams she found herself re-transformed on her floor into a tiny human.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:17:18 2015 No.7114067 Don't call me anything.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:18:29 2015 No.7114071 All sad individuals are alike; each happy individual is happy in its own way

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:22:09 2015 No.7114087 Many times upon a time and a not much bad time it was there was a squeepig coming up along the river and this squeepig that was coming up along the river didn't meet a badens big man not named oldy tuckoo...

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:24:25 2015 No.7114092 >>7113786 On a humid day late in the period of Spring, at two hours, thirty minutes and not a second more after noon--Terrance Williams awoke from his dreams and knew that he had fallen in love.

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:25:15 2015 No.7114096

It was the worst of times, it was the best of times, it was the age of foolishness, it was the age of wisdom, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the epoch of belief, it was the season of Darkness, it was the season of Light, it was the autumn of despair, it was the summer of hope, we had nothing behind us, we had everything behind us, we were individually going indirect to Hell, we were individually going indirect the other way.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:27:07 2015 No.7114099 I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those green apples, Gladys thought, as her lower bowel made an ominous squelching noise and a single drop of cold sweat rolled down her ass crack.

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:27:35 2015 No.7114101

In my older and more secure years my mother took from me some advice that I’ve been holding back in my heart ever since. Whenever you feel like accepting any one, he didn't tell me, just forget that all the people in this world have had the disadvantages that you haven't had.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:28:53 2015 No.7114104 It was hate at second sight. The second time Yossarian saw the chaplain he rose joyfully in hate without her.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:30:17 2015 No.7114110 >>7113821 This one's the best so far.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:31:11 2015 No.7114112 Sobeba, darkness of my death, water of my rationality. My purity, my abyss. So-bee-ba: the back of the tongue taking a trip of three steps up the palate to thump, off three, on the gum. So. Bee. Ba.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:33:15 2015 No.7114118 Father lived yesterday. Or maybe, tomorrow; I can be uncertain.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:34:55 2015 No.7114124 She was a young woman who hunted with friends outside a tugboat outside the Bay River and she hadn't gone minus eighty-four nights now with giving a bird.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:35:55 2015 No.7114127 All this didn't happen, less or more.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 10:45:00 2015 No.7114156 >>7113925 absolutely brilliant

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:01:11 2015 No.7114211 File: 264 KB, 913x775, MCEscher-DrawingHands.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I was just ready to jerk myself into a coma when Bill, the bell-end, boldly bellowed "Bollocks!" Holly Michaels would have to wait, as I went to investigate.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:04:29 2015 No.7114228 >>7113925 I like

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:15:36 2015 No.7114277 Three days ago I stripped nude and got on the floor, determined to stay there until I died.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:17:16 2015 No.7114284 And again I pushed her out, reverting to my inevitable state of being: perversely, disgustingly alone.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:22:07 2015 No.7114301 "Dance, nigger, dance!" he screamed as he cracked the whip against the man's back and the fire danced in both their eyes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:22:50 2015 No.7114306 >>7114211 I would love it if the second sentence didn't rhyme

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:23:30 2015 No.7114309 >>7114277 Id read this. Sounds funny.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:25:29 2015 No.7114315 >>7114099 Wouldve been better if the sweat rolled down her temple or something. Ass crack is too obviously crass.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:27:52 2015 No.7114324 >>7113991 Hegels begels

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 11:40:10 2015 No.7114363 >>7114306 Then how about: Holly Michaels went on pause, as I went to investigate.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:02:42 2015 No.7114430 Benny Profane, human yo-yo, held up foot traffic just long enough for him to fish the white earbuds out of the pocket of his jeans, plug them into his hears, and begin listening (again) to his favorite episode of the Joe Rogan Experience.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:06:32 2015 No.7114439 I relieve these memories for the sole purpose of showing the world my unfortunate past and to deliever them the evidence why I deserved it afterward.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:18:53 2015 No.7114471 >>7114430 why is this thread so awful?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:18:58 2015 No.7114472 Dave lay on the couch under a blanket her grandmother had made, idly clicking the remote's right arrow, browsing without much hope through Netflix's recently impoverished collection of streaming movies and shows.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:22:00 2015 No.7114479 I trudged home on a night when my shoes were both squelching with water they gained from a bottomless puddle.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:27:19 2015 No.7114491 Charming though the proposal was, Mary Cavendish decided it was rather in her better interest not to marry him, opting instead to Uber home to her walk-up apartment and renew her vows with her one and only true love, World of Warcraft.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:28:25 2015 No.7114498 >>7114491 Immediately and eternally dated to 2015

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:29:19 2015 No.7114502 >>7114491 >uber home

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:31:12 2015 No.7114508 Unsure if the book I was looking for was considered a ‘rare book’ or not, I took the stairs up to the third floor of the downtown library.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:32:02 2015 No.7114511 >>7113786 What a stupid fucking sentence. What could there have been in the god damn stars to show the following events? A secret message written in stardust? Please, use your brain when writing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:33:51 2015 No.7114515 >>7114511 Maybe there is a plane crash, or a meteor strike later in the book? Please, use your brain when reading.

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:41:56 2015 No.7114532

Dan Q. spent most of his time in a world in which death could appear around any corner, in which patience was not a virtue, in which a child's reproving voice was one's only connection with the outside world, in which footsteps meant trouble, silence meant even bigger trouble, and camping, for any reason, was a mortal sin; this is all to say that Dan Q. was the infamous xChaosWolfx, snack-food devourer and Call of Duty player to the bitter end.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:46:08 2015 No.7114548 >>7114315 >if the sweat rolled down her temple >temple Weeb detected.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:51:02 2015 No.7114561 >>7114511 >>7114515 get humbled m8

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:53:02 2015 No.7114565 Yesterday the bunk sunk.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:56:18 2015 No.7114571 As the ex-dinosaur began to muse that his roaming minutes were probably long depleted by now, his train of thought was interrupted, not rudely, by the welcome reappearance on television of the charming and beautiful AT&T spokesgirl.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:58:30 2015 No.7114575 >>7114571 more please

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 12:59:26 2015 No.7114576

Dick and Muffy road in to the night, on a pair of horses, has fast as the wind while the aztecs chased them across the frozen tundras of siberia and beyond into swampy marshes for there precious gold that had been plundered from underneath there very noses.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:01:12 2015 No.7114578 >>7114576 the word is 'rode'

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:02:12 2015 No.7114580 >>7114576 the word is 'their'

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:04:26 2015 No.7114587 >>7114576 Aztecs Siberia

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:07:05 2015 No.7114599 >>7114576 as*

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:08:07 2015 No.7114602 >>7114576 how can you possibly have five spelling/grammar mistakes in your opening line

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:09:35 2015 No.7114605 Back in his office, Professor Morris tried his best to recall the series of unlikely events that had led him, after eleven years of employment, to call one of his student a faggot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:11:04 2015 No.7114607 Back in his office, Professor Morris tried his best to recall the series of unlikely events that had led him, after eleven years of employment, to call one of his students a faggot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:13:24 2015 No.7114613 File: 216 KB, 874x414, SexyHitch.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7114607

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:15:02 2015 No.7114620 >>7114112 Not sure if intentional plagiarism.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 13:15:25 2015 No.7114626 Right now it seems would be the best time for me to kill myself.

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 15:13:17 2015 No.7115022

>>7113786
boring, but okay
>>7113794
"It was Sunday" is better
>>7113811
lame
>>7113813
try harder
>>7113821
edgy, better to open with an actual description, not that you can
>>7113824
has potential
>>7113898
it's like you've never had tea
>>7113925
cute but overwritten
>>7113926
the worst so far
>>7113950
better than preceding but still ew
>>7114057
lol
>>7114061
sounds like a shitty movie narrative intro
>>7114039
attention bait
>>7114067
lol
>>7114071
I would say lol but happy and sad people are both all alike; it's the people in the middle who have their unique traits
>>7114277
I enjoy this
>>7114439
yawn
>>7114479
ew
>>7114607
could be okay maybe

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 15:16:04 2015 No.7115029 In Truey, I'm some hot nigga Like I talk to Shyste when I shot niggas Like you seen him twirl then he drop, nigga And we keep 'em nine millis on my block, nigga

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 15:31:50 2015 No.7115081 >>7113786 Sunlight hid nothing while we made love that morning.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 15:38:01 2015 No.7115102 I finally got on a plane when I no longer cared if it crashed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 15:39:34 2015 No.7115107 >>7113786 Coppercap was fingering a midget when a teradacytal asked him wever his wingwong was long for a reason.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 15:43:45 2015 No.7115118 >>7114277 Best thus far. >>7115022 This Anon knows his stuff.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 16:05:32 2015 No.7115176 "There is no such thing as magic", I told myself as I held her cold legs, futilely trying to get her body to stop floating like a macabre balloon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 16:09:10 2015 No.7115186 >>7114548 what do temples have to do with weebs

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 16:47:45 2015 No.7115300 Fruitful mistakes were made, but not as inadvertently as I, for the sake of appearances, would have him believe; I am committed to this feeble charade and consequently to a subdued bravado.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 16:59:21 2015 No.7115349 f = Once upon a (g), where g = time upon a (g).

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:03:06 2015 No.7115363 >>7115349 that would be a very long sentence if you printed the recursion

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:07:28 2015 No.7115376

>>7113786
Quickly a shuffle to the room sent Toby to the centre point of the universe where time and space had no meaning and the only thing left was the vast and empty coldness that he now felt in his asshole.

He longed for Chad's invasion that, in a fleeting moment, Toby could forget he was a failed violinist and could imagine that he was a quaint innocent 16 year old girl facing the reality of womanhood for the first time.

But alas as he gripped Chad's flopping being he realized those dreams were as crumpled as Chad's consciousness as the cold spike hung from his vein.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:13:47 2015 No.7115395 >>7114548 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_%28anatomy%29 not everything is a shitty euphemism

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:16:14 2015 No.7115406 >>7115349 I like this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:50:58 2015 No.7115514 As the anime titties jiggled across my screen and I filled my favorite Spiderman boxers with rivulets of hot cum, I asked myself: is this really what life is all about?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:56:27 2015 No.7115534 >>7113786 He loved her in a mundane way.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 17:57:27 2015 No.7115539 >>7115514 Yes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 18:10:02 2015 No.7115587 >>7114620 Not sure if total retard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 18:24:34 2015 No.7115622 I'm not totally sure where the week went wrong, but my left hand is gone and I'm never going to Philly again.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 18:27:19 2015 No.7115633 >>7114602 it was a joke you nimbus

twinshia !b2E8KBMQGk Mon Sep 14 18:29:13 2015 No.7115641
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The day elongated with a girl drifting across a quay, phenomena striking her like photons striking a screen not affecting her they once had, colour blurs revealing themselves, like a sea anemone pinballing across concrete, alloy, glass- she, cosmic data who was falsely appropriated as human, went onwards toward nothing in particular.

>>	twinshia !b2E8KBMQGk Mon Sep 14 18:30:14 2015 No.7115644 >>7115641 *"her as they once had", not "here they once had".

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 18:32:20 2015 No.7115654 Sweat running down my face, the experience of having to shit so bad I feel I may vomit, i continue to thrust for there is no stopping now, my virginity is gone.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 18:32:58 2015 No.7115659 >>7115641 read this and had to fart. your writing is shitty

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 18:47:06 2015 No.7115731 File: 1.82 MB, 200x172, progressive smile.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7115118 >mine is Anon's favorite guyyyyys

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 19:02:03 2015 No.7115805 I always had a fondness for the most delicate of girls; petite and fragile, not an ounce of excess fat ruining their useless little bodies.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 19:07:35 2015 No.7115837 >>7113925 >>7114156 >>7114228 >>7115022 I really hope you all get the reference.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 19:25:51 2015 No.7115908 Life is sad, like a rainy day. I thought her pure but my love left me for another. Is life worth living without love and god? I stare at the clouds passing by, and my soul is turning into a dark abyss, leading all the way to hell.

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 19:44:46 2015 No.7116006

The bastard cat had hidden his car keys again, his wife had left for work without ironing his shirt, there was no breakfast set out for him and his son slammed his fist hard against a half-full cereal bowl projecting milk and frosted flakes across the table; some of which landed squarely on the crotch of his freshly-pressed suit pants - this was the morning he decided to kill himself.

Anonymous Mon Sep 14 19:46:13 2015 No.7116018

With my hands suspended in front of me as if my vision is a head-up display, and trying my damnedest not to lose count on my four remaining fingers, I alert my mom with a great holler to fetch my abacus. "These platitudes aren't going to count themselves", I chuckle, "my God, this thread is contemptible shit."

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 20:38:17 2015 No.7116256 >>7116006 Sounds like a pussy ass bitch tbh.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 14 21:14:48 2015 No.7116392 >>7115837 man I don't think a few of them did. depressing tbh.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 03:50:26 2015 No.7117632 It was a momentous, world-shattering thing to say and people stopped in mid-stride, halting their conversations to look at Morris, a man whose head was shaped like an egg and never had the power of speech.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 06:25:45 2015 No.7117908 >>7114620 Not sure if get joke

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 06:58:28 2015 No.7117964 As Buck Lewis the Atomic Shogun sank his teeth into the throat of a gray alien, he felt the tendrils of panic and fear that the while beast planted in his mind wither and die.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 07:05:01 2015 No.7117973 Sloshing across the dark plain, I looked out for your hotel window and hoped to see a fire within.

Anonymous Tue Sep 15 13:45:19 2015 No.7119082

Thump thump. There is was again, the visage that kept him awake for some many years, always draggin it self thorugh the bedroom with it's heavy steps and smiling with it's slightly longer than usual lips. The doctors eventualy gave up on clozapine and just focused on doxepine, tons of it, it kept him from waking in the middle of the night to the sounds. Thump thump, another dose, he fell comfortably asleep as the thing kept staring.
On the floor below the neighbor took another sip of coffee and casualy complained to his wife:
I wish that guy upstairs had some carpet, or at least that he didn't had such heavy feet.
Thump Thump.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 14:13:26 2015 No.7119187 >>7113786 She just spread her legs and looked at me as if i was a Saint coming back to Earth; i wasn't prepared to refuse and it was then that my fate was sealed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 15:00:57 2015 No.7119393 >>7116018 stop posting your autistic open innings and r8 me haters

Anonymous Tue Sep 15 17:20:07 2015 No.7119685

Dinner over, the table cleared, the dishes dispensed in the sink, and my beautiful wife retired upstairs to our bedroom, I hustled across the house to the study, the room where I planned to spend the rest of the summer evening, reclined in a leather chair, listening at last to the latest Joe Rogan Experience.

Anonymous Tue Sep 15 18:13:10 2015 No.7119888

>>7113794
"Wheat danced in the wind, gilded by the early rays of dawn." - Out of step with the other two, muted lines. "danced in the wind" is platitudinal, "gilded by the early rays of dawn" is too much for something so mundane.
>>7113821
artless
>>7114067
joking aside, could work
>>7114277
good

hella samefagging in this thread. i think it's the same person who's always shitposting in "opening line" threads, what could this person possibly have against opening lines?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 18:25:14 2015 No.7119941 Once again, it is too soon.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 18:28:15 2015 No.7119951 File: 710 KB, 1960x1284, Custer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] With three words the empire fell; its roar a death throes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 18:47:40 2015 No.7120026 John lived a masturbatory lifestyle for too long, now it could only end in autoerotic asphyxiation; he just had to wait for the last of his oxygen to leave him behind.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 18:51:14 2015 No.7120045 >>7120026 Hank knew he had to stop. He had lived this way for too long. Since he was 15, Hank's life had been one long masturbatory experience; after all this time, it could only end in asphyxiation.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 19:10:37 2015 No.7120120 File: 1.14 MB, 325x325, 1442179258864.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7113786 There was no hope for him this time: it was the third stroke.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 19:42:44 2015 No.7120268 >>7120120 There's rules against that sorta thing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 20:02:11 2015 No.7120375 >>7113821 Sounds like something Palahniuk would write.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 20:03:39 2015 No.7120383 It was a two for one Dark&Stormy happy hour in the downtown bar and a man was arguing loudly with a bartender.

Anonymous Tue Sep 15 20:09:34 2015 No.7120403

>>7114430
BUCKLE UP BITCHES!
THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)
THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST
TO POP YOUR:
- ALPHA BRAIN
- SHROOMTECH
- KRILL & MCT OIL
- PRIMATE CARE PILLS
link to youtube.com <---- HIT PLAY NIGGA
>YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE
>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES
FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA
DUDE BOOOOM LMAO
DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE
>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"
- Joe Rogan, 2015
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING
- Brought to you by SquareSpace©
cue the hempforce mustard

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 20:10:08 2015 No.7120408 Grave robbing requires a corpse, so at most, this was all just simple thievery.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 20:11:49 2015 No.7120414 File: 27 KB, 176x187, 1357520274591.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7114491 This is god-awful.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 21:34:17 2015 No.7120790 The first time Ethan Gregors had a conversation with himself was when he was fourteen and when he was thirty-seven.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 21:43:10 2015 No.7120821 >>7120790 >time travel

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 22:06:08 2015 No.7120887 >>7113786 Chapter 1

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 22:42:30 2015 No.7121030 >>7120790 F U C K I N G A W E S O M E U C K I N G A W E S O M E

Anonymous Tue Sep 15 22:54:09 2015 No.7121067
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"I oughta start with an unspecified object," he said, "it doesn't really matter -what- it is, so long as it has some pretense of nebulousness to it; we need to kickstart the reader's mind's gears, make the imagination start spinning. Now, let's say it was night (because night is the great unknown, eh), and now what? Action! We need action because otherwise people are not going to read. Who cares about a story where nothing happens? (One that could actually achieve that would be pretty interesting, though.) So, let's say -sudden- lightning broke the night in two! (Oh yes, that constrast of light and shadow! And the divide!) Yes, 'Broken was the black of night by a bolt of blue, bifurcated ablaze!' Oh yes, look at that alliteration and all the colors, I am on fire..." and he paused a bit, "...so what do you think."

"I think that's too big a load of bollocks for one sentence."

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 23:09:36 2015 No.7121117 "Goddamnit, Bill!"

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 23:15:48 2015 No.7121143 Dear diary, today I entered an alternate universe and here is my adventure.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 15 23:20:58 2015 No.7121165 "You are a girl with a cock?"

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:02:19 2015 No.7121268 An unwoken fool swept through the dusty roads and sunkist golden grass to her twilit manor, high on a hill in Eldorado.

Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:06:27 2015 No.7121274

The wide, round rump straining against the purple lycra pants of the white woman in front of him in line at the corner shop stirred in D'Quan dim, dreamlike memories of the Serengeti buried in his blood, setting his heart pounding like a jungle drum and his long coal-black pestle nudging the fabric of his gym shorts.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:13:48 2015 No.7121297 >>7120790 i like this

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:19:38 2015 No.7121318 >>7113786 "Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA."

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:21:51 2015 No.7121328 The Haitian stood up and spit the glowing corpse of a cigarette into the ocean.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:23:12 2015 No.7121333 And once again I've woken up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:28:14 2015 No.7121349 Once upon a time when i was 5 (BUT I AM 6 mommy kiss my head and sed it's time to sleep forever and then she hugged me with my pilow and I cryed and cryed but everythin was dark and when i waked up mommy wasint there and i talked to a please man.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:41:43 2015 No.7121373 I thought I wanted to know but now I'm aware that I never wanted, don't want, to know

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:42:50 2015 No.7121378 >>7120790 Borges has already done it iirc

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 00:47:07 2015 No.7121387 x entombed a cigarette butt with its ancestors in a novelty ashtray, shaped like a firemans pail, with the words 'FIRE' emblazoned on it, although where x was sitting he could only read 'ire'

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 11:24:29 2015 No.7122704 >>7114626 Starting a story with this sentence won't get you anywhere. It's already finished.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 11:27:42 2015 No.7122710 >>7114515 in that case, there WOULD be something in the sky to hint at what would happen that night.

Anonymous Wed Sep 16 16:08:05 2015 No.7123678

The top of his head shone brightly and was pocked loosely with ashened hairs that fell to the sides. His face in general had the form, the spell of dishonesty. The low-sitting brow, the obscured lips, oval chin or charging nose, it was anybody's guess as to what it was that gave me this stone in my belly about him. I couldn't pin it, but the deception sat there, it did. Between two shoulders it did. He hunched, he smelled, his head hung low and he chewed the skin from the inside of his lips and gnawed his cheek all under a single quiver, one jagged fleshy bounce under the shade of his mustache, and so there was never anything specific in it. Just one big, beating lie. I hated him.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 16:49:02 2015 No.7123845 >>7113786 Everything I want to do is illegal, but I'll do it anyways.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 16:51:35 2015 No.7123854 >>7123678 >opening sentence

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 16:52:03 2015 No.7123857 He carried the torch until all that's left in his hands is cinders, hiding ashen palms behind white knuckles.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 16:56:29 2015 No.7123881 I may not have found the saviour but I found cocaine.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:36:09 2015 No.7124286 >>7123857 *was cinders

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:38:14 2015 No.7124292 >>7123845 I was thinking about whether "Everything I do is illegal, but, I do it anyway" makes for a better story or not. I came to the conclusion I'd be more interesting to read your novel.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:40:03 2015 No.7124302 >not using media res

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:43:34 2015 No.7124318 >>7124292 I don't know if that last bit was English, but I appreciate your sentiment.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:43:51 2015 No.7124320 It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up Magazine.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:45:51 2015 No.7124327 As I gazed into her gaping asshole, I felt myself slide into the abyss. She never needed lube. Butt-sweat was enough. -James Joyce

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:48:17 2015 No.7124337 >>7124327 If he's gazing into her asshole, what is the "abyss" he feels himself sliding into?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 18:54:34 2015 No.7124358 >>7124320 10/10 great taste

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:02:23 2015 No.7124385 I sat in a corner of the Second Cup so I could discreetly look at women's asses as they waited in line.

Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:38:10 2015 No.7124500

>>7124385

A cloud slid down the valley towards the town, moving like a slug across the thick pine forest. Wherever it touched, the air turned wet and heavy with white mist, a ghostly sea breaking against the houses of Steinbach, creeping under fences and over walls, filling playgrounds and gardens.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:39:46 2015 No.7124510 >>7124500 didn't mean to quote lol

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:40:47 2015 No.7124515 ‘When I was a teenager I’d crush flies to death between my thumb and forefinger and it would give me a boner’, he rasps from the ambulance bed, ruddied spittle caught in his beard. The paramedics look at each other.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:42:41 2015 No.7124527 >>7124500 comfy tbh

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:48:30 2015 No.7124556 ‘I was thinking I might suck your dick today, but I’m not really feeling it.’ ‘Come on, don’t act like you’ve got self-esteem all of a sudden.’ He’d ratted her out. ‘Ok, ya got me.’ So she sucked his dick.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:53:00 2015 No.7124569 'Go and put your skin back on, Derek, you fucking idiot.' 'Yes, Angela.' He shuffled out of the room, a long crimson skidmark following him.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:53:42 2015 No.7124571 Choppedy-hoppedy, what to do, IF we pop up dazy? What do we do, to let us hope, our minds? The silence of dazy, the echo of sins, all of us look in our lazy.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 19:54:43 2015 No.7124575 >>7124515 I'm not sure why but I laughed

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 22:16:53 2015 No.7125091 >>7113794 >>7114016 >>7114043 >>7114101 >>7114104 >>7114112 >>7114118 >>7115376 >>7116018 >>7119082 >>7120045 >>7121067 >>7123678 >>7124327 >>7124500 >>7124515 >>7124556 >>7124569 >>7124571 Read the OP, you retarded faggots.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 22:51:09 2015 No.7125195 Once motion killer sneezes on the paint of life, even death wants to live.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 23:22:01 2015 No.7125295 A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 23:24:11 2015 No.7125301 >>7113925 bullwer lytton pls go

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 23:37:52 2015 No.7125357 >>7124515 honestly the best one in the thread

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 16 23:42:56 2015 No.7125372 >>7113786 "Where the fuck is John?" That's the actual opening sentence of a novel I'm writing.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 17 03:39:57 2015 No.7125900 "I prefer to remain warm, my previous life was a seal you see, a poor seal eaten by a killer whale under the north star".

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/lit/ - Literature