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/lit/ - Literature

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7090492 No.7090492[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

*clears throat epicly*
moderator of /r/atheism here
*adjusts bowtie*
i can say with an astute confidence
*pushes glasses upwards*
that god
*scratches neckbeard with cheeto stained fingers*
does not exist
*tolerates islam*
but
*contemplates virginity*
morality still exists
*compulsively masturbates to penn jilette*
and that white men are evil
*upvotes Bernie sanders post*
I will never read a book written by a male
*whiteknights*
Except for John Green, of course
*poopies in adult diaper*
And did you know
*protests black lives matter*
Marxism is compatible with our new globalist society, butterfly is the best /lit/ poster
*picks up fedora from coat rack*
You guys need to grow up and face the music.
*shreds metal song on air guitar*
Or else you'll be left in the dust.
*Unsheathes katana*
Heh...
*teleports behind everyone*
This reminds me of my favorite story about Isaac Newton
*taps /lit/ poster on the shoulder*
I had heard it from my favorite show, Cosmos, sponsered by Neil DeGrasee Tyson and Family Guy
>slices /lit/ poster in half
In it, Isaac Newton was napping quite atheistically under a tree when an apple bopped him on the head, disproving spirituality and proving the Apple does not fall far from the tree.
*snaps fingers, all the Chad bullies from PE's head's explode as classical music used in a Quentin Tarantino flick starts playing*
Namaste, watashi non yujin....
*walks through the ensuing carnage nonchalantly to the door before giving a sly smile and a tip of a fedora to a random girl*

>> No.7090497
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7090497

>> No.7090501

>>7090492
I can't read your post man, I just can't. I'm tired and the format makes me lose focus.

>> No.7090509

>*tolerates islam*

Ruined the joke. That part should only be there if you were supposed to be from Atheism+.

/r/atheism doesn't tolerate vapid funDIEs of any type.

>> No.7090519

>>7090492
cancer

>> No.7090520

>>7090509
The joke is that reddit exists, not that atheism exists. I shitpost this and cunny on /tv/ regularly to annoy redditors.

>> No.7090521

great stuff, try posting it on r/funny and never coming back here again

>> No.7090539
File: 64 KB, 395x578, jAyHtSV.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7090539

>>7090492
so meme
so funny
so laughed
post again

>> No.7090559

>>7090520
don't you know that reddit literally invented atheism?

>> No.7090571

*Unsheathes cactus*

>> No.7090580

>>7090492
nice one dude

>> No.7090585

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...