[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

View post   
File: 743 KB, 597x865, wa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7075046 No.7075046 [Reply] [Original]

I'm about to self publish my first memoir on Amazon.

If you'd like to be apart of history, please submit your foreword to my book here and I'll choose one to put in my book.

Remember that by posting in this thread you agree to relinquish your copyright and entitlement to any royalties.

>> No.7075079

>>7075046
'This book is the best example of pretentious cucketry to spawn from this generation.'

>> No.7075083

reported for advertising

>> No.7075085

>>7075079
Congratulations. I've decided to add a chapter entitled "quotes by retards". You're in it now.

>> No.7075088

The only rule of /lit/ is "no fan-fiction" and you're breaking it

>> No.7075105

>>7075046
this is your reply

>> No.7075186

fuck me suck me stickitinna bag

>> No.7075243

>>7075046
'This is a painful big book for you."

>> No.7075268

>>7075046
>apart of history

>> No.7075307

>>7075046
Well, of course humans have been using phallic vegetables as sexual aides for millennia. What is less known, at least in the world outside academic circles, is that round-shaped, pointy and even leafy vegetables can and have been used as more sophisticated forms of marital aides and, certainly, self-stimulation aides by certain unique individuals throughout the XIX and XX century.
This book explores what a young man bravely engaging in non-phallic vegetable sexual exploration has had to go through to bring this practice to the XXI century. A real tour de force.

>> No.7075324
File: 90 KB, 511x448, 1427172434570.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7075324

>>7075046
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John Green, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.

>> No.7075347

>>7075324
5/10

>> No.7075370

>>7075046
That's actually a very tasteful cover. I am digging the font.

>> No.7077015

>>7075046
yeh wanna see mah thinkin' thing? read this book