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/lit/ - Literature

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6982433 No.6982433 [Reply] [Original]

Why does /lit/ hate the Seleucid Empire? They were so much better than the Greeks or the Romans.

>> No.6982594

"Empire", you mean the corpse that was Seleucius' chunk of Alexander's achievement?

>> No.6982776

Their cultural and technological achievements were dwarfed by both the Greeks and Romans.

You just like them because they're OP in RTW.

>> No.6982786

>>6982776
They were too good in MP. Get the pikeman out front, send the legions around back and the heavy cataphracts to do all the flanking and heavy lifting.

>> No.6982880
File: 249 KB, 708x826, X7qCysU.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6982880

Seleucus "Wide Arse" Nicatrix.

>> No.6982885
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6982885

Selukia a shit

Fuckin diadochi

>> No.6982926

>>6982594
Really the whole "invade Persia in the false hope that Alexander can get over himself" thing was a mistake from the start

>> No.6982937

>>6982880
>>6982885
I wish my classics and world history teachers would have used images like these for slides.

>> No.6982940

>>6982937

>rape mentioned anywhere in a classroom

i think i'm being triggered by you right now.

>> No.6982967

>>6982937

If there's one thing history has taught me, it's that life is a good laugh, it's all one big joke.

You know Augustus, the first Roman Emperor and "son of a god"? He's reported to have woke up laughing one morning because he remembered a penis joke someone had told him the night before.

People never change.

>> No.6982975
File: 64 KB, 805x673, 1439057887443.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6982975

anyone ever wonder if pyrrhus of epirus and charles the bold were soul-bonded

>> No.6982986

>>6982967
>People never change.

True that, it's also reinforced by ancient roman shitposting.
>http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm
>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

They really never change.

>> No.6983026

>What kind of Empire you want fam?

>> No.6983030

>>6983026

Just fuck Antioch up.

>> No.6983034

Is Antiochus III the Brendan Fraser of history?

>> No.6983049

>>6983034

His defeats basically started the period of Seleucid decline that ended when Rome annexed Syria.

>> No.6983058

>>6982967
What joke has he heard?
Details, details...

>> No.6983079

>>6982967
Every month, Augustus and his wife would go out to market and fetch a nice slave girl. They'd then have threesomes every night for a month straight until they sold her and bought a new one.

Caligula would regularly mock courtiers by performing a "masturbatory gesture" in their faces when they knelt to kiss his ring.

>> No.6983185

>>6983058

Here are some quotes from books written about him.

"Because Anthony fucks Glaphyra, Fulvia decided to punish me by making me fuck her in turn. I should fuck Fulvia? What if Manius begged me to bugger him? Would I do it? I think not, if I had any sense."

He's meant to be talking about Glaphyra, an Anatolian princess that Mark Anthony was apparently fucking. Fulvia is Anthony's wife, who led a legion against Augustus in 40 BC (The reason why he has to "fuck" her). It finishes with Augustus accusing Glaphyra of being riddled with STDs.

"Either fuck or fight, she says. Ah, but my cock is dearer to me than life itself. Let the trumpets sound."

I also found this one good, he basically calls his friend a faggot.

"Again, knowing that his friend Maecenas wrote in a loose, effeminate, end languishing style, he would often affect a similar style in the letters which he wrote to him; and, in contrast to the restrained language of his other writings, an intimate letter to Maecenas contained, by way of a joke, a flood of such expressions as these: "Good-by, my ebony of Medullia, ivory from Etruria, silphium of Aretium diamond of the Adriatic, pearl from the Tiber, Cilnian emerald, jasper of the Iguvians, Porsenna's beryl, Italy's carbuncle-in short, you charmer of unfaithful wives."

>> No.6983462

>>6983185
Jesus Christ he was the best at throwing shade. I need more.

>> No.6983530

>>6982433
>I will free Greece that was already freed
>I will try to imitate the Spartans on Termopylae (and loss to a smaller army there)
>I will acquire the best general of land troops of all history and, not only won't hear any of his advice, but will put him in a ship to fight a naval battle.
>I will take the son of the enemy's general as hostage, but I will give him back without any ransom.
>I will put on the field a army with troops from 20 different nations, but won't kill even 20 roman soldiers.

Antiochus III a joke.

>> No.6984569

>>6982975
Saved, thanks

>> No.6984574

>>6983530
>the best general of land troops of all history

Who?

>> No.6984654
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6984654

>>6982433
Because it's all about that based Mendandros I Soter m8

>> No.6984790
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6984790

>>6984654

Can anybody recommend any good books on the Indo-Greeks? Tarn is terribly outdated and Narain is proving very hard to find, as is R.C. Senior? Is there anything else good and perhaps more modern in English?

Thanks.

>> No.6984811
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6984811

>>6982880
>>6982885
>>6982975


/twg/ represent

>> No.6984813

>>6982433
nah

>> No.6984940

>>6984790
>>6984654

Bumping

>> No.6985728

>>6984574
hannibal

>> No.6985748

>>6984940
Try Cambridge Companion to the Hellenistic World
they do discuss Indo-Greeks a bit and may have recs in their bibliography
http://bookzz.org/book/828994/4d052b

alternatively there's blackwell companion to hellenistic world
http://bookzz.org/book/975599/d622c9

>> No.6985758

>>6982975
should be
> Caesaropapism not Caliph and Prophet ok

>> No.6985832

>>6983462

"If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way without them, we must plan for our lasting preservation rather than for our temporary pleasure."

When asked if he wanted to visit the mausoleum of the Ptolemies while he was visiting the tomb of Alexander in Alrexandria, he is reported to have said the following.

"I came to see a king, not a row of corpses."

His daughter disappointed him on so many occasions by being a whore that he is reported to have the said the following.

"Ah, never to have married, and childless to have died!"

There is a biography about him called "Augustus: From Revolutionary to Emperor" that goes into detail regarding his love of "dirty jokes" but I don't have it at the moment.