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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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687108 No.687108 [Reply] [Original]

You can get water from a bottle...
ORWELL

>> No.687112

What is Voltaire's favorite food?
CANDIDE yams

>> No.687114
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687114

Last night I had a WILDE party, and I learned The Importance of Being Earnest

>> No.687115

I forgot to wear green on St. Patrick's Day, and everyone was Pynchon me.

>> No.687117

The theory behind Objectivism is so convoluted, it just seems RANDom

>> No.687118
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687118

shakenspeare, not stirred

>> No.687120

One time I ate so many cranberries I was puking red for a week

>> No.687121

>>687120
Don't break the theme, asshole

>> No.687128

>>687121
Yeah, he was being a real Koontz

>> No.687133

>>687121
>accuses someone of breaking the theme
>in doing so, keeps the chain of breaking theme going

Moron.

>> No.687135

>>687133
I'm sick of you pretentious fucks, all of you, and you know... *HACK HACK COUGH*
ahem... excuse me, I have a bad Kafka.

>> No.687137

Someone call the poe-lice

>> No.687139

>>687135
I think you mean bad cough.

>> No.687140

Now THAT was Rand-om

>> No.687141

Last night my boy and I had a routine DickInSon for a couple of hours.

>> No.687142

>>687141
That must have hurt like the Dickens

>> No.687145

Oh man, I'm hungry.
I could really eat some Burgess

>> No.687146

She thought she'd escape the rapist until he put his dickens

>> No.687150

Orwell was a dumas

>> No.687148

Have you heard of this girl Pamela? I hear she's innocent and dating Samuel, you know, Richard's son.

>> No.687153

I thought about taking a walk, but the weather looked pretty C.S Lewis

>> No.687154

>>687150
10/10
This one is brilliant.

>> No.687289 [DELETED] 

I think my Investment Adviser out of tough with these tough economic times. He advises that I can maximize my potential returns by backing Mortgage portfolios, barely even acknowledging their central role in the 2007 market collapse. "With these depressed housing prices, M Portfolios are safer than they've ever been, blah blah..."

My IA brazenly suggests that I can leverage my holdings through specialized Mortgage investment banks because they'll monitor their loans more carefully while taking advantage of the difficulties low income families now have securing housing loans. But that's exactly what they ALWAYS SAY! "Subprime M. Portfolios are AAA rated because even if 10% foreclose housing prices are going nowhere but up" was the old story, I'm not falling for it again.

To summarize, I absolutely don't share the faith of my Iain M. Banks

>> No.687299

I think my Investment Advisor is out of touch with these tough economic times. He advises that I can maximize my potential returns by backing Mortgage portfolios, barely even acknowledging their central role in the 2007 market collapse. "With these depressed housing prices, M Portfolios are safer than they've ever been, blah blah..."

My IA brazenly suggests that I can leverage my holdings through specialized Mortgage investment banks because they'll monitor their loans more carefully while taking advantage of the difficulties low income families now have securing housing loans. But that's exactly what they ALWAYS SAY! "Subprime M. Portfolios are AAA rated because even if 10% foreclose housing prices are going nowhere but up" was the old story, I'm not falling for it again.

To summarize, I absolutely don't share the faith of my Iain M. Banks

>> No.687309

My girlfriend said "You've been acting really weird lately, I think you're stressed. You should try hiring a masuess

>> No.687327

If you do bad things, you will get sent to Heller somewhere else

>> No.687358

>>687299

It doesn't really work, but I applaud the effort - it must have caused you significant stross

>> No.687405

Phillp the drinks, okay you Dick?

>> No.687424

>>687358
Thanks. I decided to aim high instead of taking an easy pun like some Gaiman.

>> No.687431

Those who say Elves are a recent literary invention don't know what they're Tolkien about.

>> No.687432

Whenever I'm at your mom's house and Faulkner, I usually do it furiously and produce some measure of sound.

>> No.687438

I started building my skills as a sculptor by perfectly crafting common objects out of Plato

>> No.688083

Someone once told me that air is not very toddle, but I disagree. I believe that Aristotle.

>> No.688105

>>687432

Your mom's vagina is so cavernous, when she screamed my name last night I hear it Eco

>> No.688108

Me and this sexy Russian girl were having a great time, drinking and laughing at the bar, when she turned to me and with sultry sexy accent asked me, "Vonnegut outta here?"

>> No.688109

>>688083
10/10. Well played.

>> No.688144

Isabel Allende thought it strange how Fanfiction is smushed together instead of being Two Words.