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/lit/ - Literature

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6853978 No.6853978 [Reply] [Original]

How's your novel coming along /lit/?

>> No.6855094

>>6853978
Not well. English isnt my native language so i cant really express my thoughts the way i want them, and this reduces my motivation to write.

>> No.6855097

>>6855094
Then write in the native, then, after finishing your final draft, take leisure translating it howsoever you find fit.

>> No.6855102

>>6853978
Bad. I've got a great concept for it, but only written about 5000 words. I've got the storyling mostly written down in my head, but I haven't written a word to it in more than half a year.

>> No.6855110

I have an electrifying idea for a novel but can't, for the lust in me after Io's bosom, find my voice.

>> No.6855120

>>6855097
Yeah, i will switch to my native, its still better to write it that way than not finishing it at all in english.

>> No.6855127

>>6855120
What's your native language?

>> No.6855132

>>6855127
Hungarian

>> No.6855133

Great, just got published

>> No.6855140

>>6855133
Give us a synopsis and/or progress.

>> No.6855142

>>6855132
God dammit. I was hoping to practice one of my foreign languages but I don't speak that fucking moonlanguage
Anyway good luck with writing your littachur my good friend

>> No.6855152

>>6855142
I'm here, friendo. Arabic and feeble Hebrew/Farsi. May not be here long though, got a trip.

>> No.6855217

>>6855152
French and Spanish are the only ones I'm good enough to really converse in. I can understand some German, and I fucked around with Esperanto a bit but the whole community and ideals of it are to faggy. I just wanted to see how easy it was

>> No.6855218

>>6855142
"that fucking moonlanguage"
lol, ikr
Anyway, hungary stronk, altough i cant imagine how weird it sounds to a foreigner.
http://youtu.be/P-xEHHHCrH4

>> No.6855225

>>6855217
*too
God dammit

>> No.6855231

>>6855218
I actually haven't heard it ever, or at least not in a while. Not the weirdest language I've ever heard, but sounds weird. Written it looks weird as fuck

>> No.6855240

who here /lojban/?

>> No.6855269

>>6855240
nah

>> No.6855293

>>6855240
It's never any kind of detriment to yourself to learn another language, however a constructed language like lojban is simply never going to catch on to enough people because for the vast majority of people it's too much effort. People don't care if their language is inefficient.

>> No.6855530

I have a massive scientific plot hole. Can you guys help me out?

>> No.6855539

12k words baby. 2k more than last thread. slow and steady wins le race.

>> No.6855547

>>6855530
Certainly! I'll help you lampshade it

>> No.6855553

Critique me:
Pls no bully. Be blunt but not overly crude/cruel.

--

Silently, I felt nothing. Silently, the blinders in my mind and the crushing weight returned, signifying another depressive episode... my IQ set to be damped, and my love for the world to be quenched inside despair once again... my spiral out of control only to be far worse.
But in that moment, I didn't feel the typical progression... of the sadness that had been born out of a longing for her, and the loneliness of not having her... The fears I had ever so often of our enemies coming for her. The fear and worry I continued to feel that others were stealing her from me, starting a romantic relationship with her or forming a better platonic one, slowly poisoning her mind against me and driving a wedge between us, silently and to my complete lack of power trying to steal her away to cause her pain.
In that moment, it stopped, with hope shooting straight to my brain as oxygenated blood.

I decided something in the midst of that.

'...it was her... it was fucking <i> her </i>...' I thought to myself, as my tears began to slow.

>> No.6855562

>>6855553
Sounds faggy

>> No.6855565
File: 9 KB, 480x360, 1429222172544.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6855565

Very good. I practically just started, but I already have a few hours logged in of just testing out some scenes. I'm already coming up with themes and side characters and am working on the finale's outline. It's looking like a possible project, sustainable as long as I throw time at it.

>> No.6855568

>>6855553
kinda faggy tbh

>> No.6855570

>>6855568
>>6855562
...faggy how?

>> No.6855571

>>6855110

fucking lol.

just finished Lolita this morning, that struck a chord with me

>> No.6855582

>>6855570
What's the overall theme for the book? Is it romance, or is this part of a romantic subplot?
You're describing the dude's emotions quite a bit, which is fairly homosexual. Leave that shit for Nick Sparks and John Greene

>> No.6855585

>>6855553
tfw no gf: a novel

>> No.6855587

>>6855582
Romantic subplot coming to a climax.

>> No.6855594

>>6853978

I'm at 24k and 12k words.

So I've written half a short novel across two separate novels-in-progress.

>> No.6855601

>>6855553
I like it, but im gay

>> No.6855605

>>6855587
Eh, not my thing. I generally don't pay much attention to those so I'm not the one to critique yours.
still faggy tho

>> No.6855613

>>6855585
Ok, out of context I can see that. Yes. Hahahaha.
That is not the subject though, it's a subplot that gradually influenced the main plot, which is supposed to be a fridge-event as you look back and realize what really happened.

Did I at least capture it well enough?

>> No.6855616

>>6855605
I thought we were saying 'faggy' as a negative term here. Like as a replacement for 'poorly done'.

>> No.6855629

>>6855616
No, it's well done, if being gay as fuck was the goal

>> No.6855634

>>6855629

Shots fired!

>> No.6855642
File: 106 KB, 578x347, hemingway.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6855642

Its shit. Every time I open it and read any bit of what I've written I want to print it out and give it to an illiterate person to burn.

>> No.6855660

>>6855629
Hooray!

>> No.6855706

>>6855547
A discovery is made in a distant future that the universe collapses and expands every trillion or so years. Two men research alternate realities and are laughing stocks of the scientific community. Guy B dedicates more time into an algorithm that could tell him whether or not any alternate realities exist.
After a fight they split. The stories follows Guy A who never gives up his idea of alternate realities and works on a device that could reverse the flow of the universe. But he's told that his efforts are in vain bc the universe already has collapsed on itself and will again.
He manages to make the device once he's very old. Guy B found out that there is infinity minus 1 realities in his old age. In all realities except one Guy B's nefarious plot to stop this device from working works.

Guy B's manifesto
"It's my destiny to be with you. After we die the universe will collapse and expand again. Everything will happen just as it happened before and I'll have another chance to meet you, fall in love with you and be the happiest man to ever exist. I love you."

Guy A's manifesto
"Imagine a universe that is truly inifinite. Think about what kind of civilization could be made in a reality with no expiration date. For the good of mankind, give them the gift of limitless progress"

>> No.6855733

>>6855706
The only inaccuracy I can see is a mathematical one.
Well, two.
1: Infinity minus one is still infinity. You'd be laughed at in a Science/Math world if you said this. I know what you meant, but you'd better perfect your wording of this now.
2: In all except one... so are you saying in only one alternate reality? Unless you're disproving the infinite multiverse theory and replacing it with a 'finite multiverse theory', this wouldn't make sense. And a finite number of multiverses also doesn't make sense, as nothing about our universe has ever been proven to be feasibly finite... why should multiverses be?

I'm thinking about ways to fix this, standby- digest this.

>> No.6855750

>>6855102

> mostly written down in my head

This is a fatal mistake for many budding writers. You think you have all the details, it sounds so fucking good in your head, but you can't put it down on paper. The reasons are usually one or more of the following:

1. Your writing is shit, and you don't know how to express yourself.

2. Your idea is not nearly as complete as you think it is. You don't even notice how much you are glossing over. Most of the time, you've got a beginning, a middle, and an end, but none of the connecting material.

3. You're scared that if you put it down, you'll realize it is shit

4. You're a lazy faggot.

>> No.6855768

>>6855733
Ok, 1: Make it so that the number of multiverses logarithms off. Still goes to infinity, but appears to get more and more flat.

2: Make it so that the man's only FOUND one universe where the plot he has works. (And that is the universe he is in. right?)
All the ones he finds, as he keeps looking, he sees that his plot fails in every other multiverse.

That would be the scientifically accurate way to say it, regardless. They're searching through infinite options to find the Texas Sharpshooter data set.

Please tell me if I made any sense at all.

>> No.6855769

>>6855733
I'm looking for something that allows for Guy B to win evey time, but a small mishap that just happens to happen in this altenrate reality makes a glass of water spill and he slips on it.

In this story I've tried to describe the fact that all universes exist at the same time. And literally all moments of time are happening at the same time in a way existing with a different universe existing in that part if the 1 finite timeline.

Except for the one time the universe strayed away from fate, that is made apparant. But is it the reality that are character lives in?

>> No.6855781

>>6855768
Yeah that makes sense. It reminds me of when Dr Richards looming!into alternate realities to see how they dealed with the Illuminiti split.

I might have to look into that for a realistic way of using them as a plot device

>> No.6855785

Sorry about writing. I'm drunk.

>> No.6855809

Ok, there's more issues now.

>>6855781
If you don't want to get shit on by the scientific community (Which will happen if you do something like this- look at Interstellar) then you need to take the current theory that shows promise and spin what is unknown about it in your own way.

>>6855769
You saying that the timeline is finite and cyclic can get you in a lot of hot water very quickly. And it's also somewhat stupid to assume that all plotlines happen at the exact same 'time'. Infinite multiverses, some are our exact copy only seconds behind. And on that subject, what's to define time here?

Anon, you're on a bad scientific path.

>> No.6855814

>>6855140
"I lied as an anonymous person on the internet"

>> No.6855845
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6855845

>>6855814
I figured.

>> No.6856614
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6856614

I hit a road block.

I wrote a neo-noir detective novel with existential overtones. It's about the relationship between two detectives who are partnered together on a murder case. One is a laid-back, dark-humored subscriber to the Absurdist philosophy who thinks of the case as a game, a thought which appalls the partner's sense of moral rightness despite his history as a dirty cop. The latter eventually crumbles under the pressure of the case and allows an old drug habit to destroy his marriage.

I think it's great for what it is; a pop-philosophy flavored thriller with a downer ending, but when I described it to a friend of mine, they looked at me weird and said, "So it's True Detective?".

And that fucked my world up because now I'm comparing my first draft against an HBO show I never watched and I'm positive I'll be called out for plagiarism.

>> No.6856647

>>6853978

>how's your novel coming along?

Horribly. I dont know how to start it.

>> No.6856654

>>6856647

That should be your opening.

>> No.6856664

>>6856614
A few specifics differ but aside from the ending that sounds exactly like True Detective.

Bad luck, brah, happened to me before, but yeah you absolutely will be accused of ripping it off.

>> No.6856669

>>6855553
>starts with an adverb
stopped reading there

>> No.6856673

>>6856647
Whatever you do, don't listen to this faggot >>6856654
.

>> No.6856693

I've made great progress on my visual novel based on a setting made by 4chan, OP, thanks for asking.

>> No.6856801

>>6856664
Have you seen the show? I don't have HBO, so my comparisons are based on wikis and TvTropes. Would you say it has a lot of magic realism? My novels features it pretty heavily as it goes on.
Please say no. I really want to salvage this thing...

>> No.6856833

>>6856801

dude don't worry about it

just write and finish it

and no, true detective isn't remotely magic realism

maybe a tiny bit supernatural


will you post an excerpt of your writing?

I also write about detectives

>> No.6856840

Have to redo the entire thing because I read that one essay by John Barth about how realism is gay, and I agreed with it

>> No.6856857

>>6856669
>Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.

>> No.6856877

Anyone have tips for opening lines? I have a handful of partially written short stories that have no beginnings because I can't think of anything that's both attention grabbing yet subtle.

>> No.6856880

>>6856877

>invoke a sense of mystery that will hook the reader
>briefly hint at the larger themes in the story

that'd basically it

>> No.6856882

>>6856877
Hemingway's advice is to start with one true statement.

Here's mine:
>I really love to hate.

>> No.6856886

>>6856880
>Call me Ishmael.

yeah that's solid advice, bro. stop trying to act like you know anything.

>> No.6856891

>>6856877
Just begin with your first pov character directly in the middle of whatever it is they're doing without creating a clear establishing frame of reference for the reader. Just drop them in the deep end and begin to unravel what's happening from there.

This is my PKD influence, but I love starting a story with a letter or some kind of written message and reveal the pov character reading it

>> No.6856895

i'm not writing a novel, i'm writing a chapbook

>> No.6856896

>>6856886

you're actually so fucking stupid and wrong on very level lmao

>> No.6856899

>>6853978
It's going great! Never written a novella before, but I have to do it more than this once I just spent the past three days having major anxiety over a chapter that just wasn't working, and now it's working and I wrote two thousand words today (and a short story), and once this chapter's done I'll be at the halfway point.

>> No.6856901

I'm working on a novel but I recently became more engrossed in a play.

It's about a late 20s struggling poet and high school teacher who, following two failed engagements sinks into substance abuse and moves back to his home state to teach History at his old high school. During the course of the play he has to balance administrative pressure to improve test scores (he struggles to motivate his apathetic and selfish students) as well as two taboo sexual relationships: the first with a guidance councilor who's cheating on her husband and threatens the history teacher with telling the superintendent about his drug use on school grounds; the second with a 17 year student who approaches him early in the play and proposes a strictly physical relationship, with whom he becomes emotionally attached to.

>> No.6856924

>implying anyone reads these threads

Its going good mane it gets better everytime i get high

Ps read ur novel with weed goggles and get back to me. In sativa veritas

>> No.6856941

>>6856901
This has great potential for sexual and educative commentary. Is it tragic or more of a black comedy? I could see it both ways.

>> No.6856953

>>6856941
I'd say it's a tragicomedy, but leaning towards black comedy. The second (middle) act consists of him trying to get himself fired and the absurd circumstances that lead to that not working, but he meets the 17 year old when he stays after and puts a gun to his head, without actual intention of firing, just for the rush of knowing he could. Also he lives at the school because he doesn't want to pay for a new apartment.

>> No.6856957

>>6853978
Still stuck on which idea I should use. I want to do something with a vaporwave aesthetic but can't quite pin down how to put it into words without being too overt.

>> No.6856962

I have three things on page 20-30.
First one is multiple characters in a fantasy urban setting, sort of Durarara meets Carnivale. Second one is a fantasy with magical elements that turn out to be advanced technology and the planet where it's set is actually a huge space ship. Third one is a hardboiled detective in a huge building where all humanity lives, each superior level being a more developed society based on real life scenarios.

I know I'll die before finishing any of them because I'll die before finishign absolutely anything in my life.

>> No.6857009

>>6855553
Nothing about this was redeemable.

>> No.6857112

>>6856880
>>6856882
>>6856891
Alright, I guess it's far simpler than I'm making it out to be. I think I'm just too focused on having zany prose because I feel there were/are so few authors going against the grain, and I hate the way literature looks today so I feel like I have to try as hard as possible. Then again, none of the so-called 'meme trilogy' really start with overly complex sentences.

I think I'll try out each of the three suggests, and feel it out from there. Thanks, buds

>> No.6857124

It's going rather slow, but I'd rather have slow progress than no progress.

>> No.6857162

>>6856957
same. I've been teasing the idea of just making the brand name dropping of American Psycho + early Internet shit of Bleeding Edge + the autistic characters and cold prose of Taipei. I can't imagine doing this for a whole novel. 180 pages max, but I think it would be best to limit myself to vaporwave short stories

>> No.6857273

>>6853978
Finishing the fourth and last book of the saga. Mediocre but somewhat entertaining. Cant wait to finish it and start something new.

Publishers can go fuck themselves.

...

Just kidding, publishers, please like my book.

>> No.6857294

>>6857273
I'd think it would be best to not write a four-book series before you get published. If your first book is picked up, you're likely gonna have to do some editing, which could fuck up the other three

>> No.6857314

>>6857294
Maybe, thats why i actually want to finish the saga to write a single book. No editor will publish a saga from a no name like me. But still i think its not bad at all.

>> No.6857351

>>6857314
I guess it's not unreasonable. If they like the first book and think it would make shit tonnes of money, you have three more in store. So they make bank, and you get to get your work out there. I don't really follow genre fiction, so I don't know the ins and outs, but your series probably has a much better market than anything I'm writing. I wish you only the best of luck, my friend

>> No.6857398

Currently proofreading the script. Fuck this is boring. 71000 words to go through. I can't find any big mistakes, but if I let it go as it is, someone's going to complain anyway.

In general, how bad do you find spelling mistakes and such in a book? Is it an immediate "into the trash"-dealbreaker, will they notably damage your opinion on what you're reading, or do you just ignore them without a thought?

I usually just laugh at the publisher for a moment for being careless, and then keep reading.

>> No.6857399

It's still months away from being finished, but I'm constantly thinking about involving my muse. They don't know who I am and will find it creepy that I analyzed them so deeply from afar. But their face is fucking perfect for the character they inspired. So gorgeous and cold. There's also the added fact that she (and the character based on her) are fucking Hannibal Lecter crazy.

>> No.6857435

I can't tell how much of my work is me being passionate about "experimental" literature, and how much is me trying to appeal to Dalkey Archive, as I'm too proud to sell myself to a publisher that won't respect my artistic freedom. Of course, I also think my shit's not worth paying for anyway, and I don't want to bother publishers with having to read my shit

>> No.6857601

>>6855750
okay, maybe I worded it wrong. I have the general storyline, with critical points in it, and due to format I'll just develop the writing around the idea.
And it's definitely 4. I'm such a lazy fucking faggot.

>> No.6857787

Could somebody give this a once-over?

Excerpt from my completednovel: http://pastebin.com/aD6UJXpG

Feedback appreciated

>> No.6857795
File: 786 KB, 700x849, kaz_by_seehangart-d6wj1f8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6857795

It's fucking trash in a number of ways but my affection for it and my obsession with finally squeezing this thing out of my ass and being rid of it forever compels me.

The setting is merely a gimmick to distract from the banality of it all. The structure is designed to offset obvious flaws. Anyone who knows what to look for will see a big pile of uninspired bullshit that someone mechanically put together.

>> No.6857811

Im at a point where I realized I don't want to burn my book I want to burn the world

>> No.6857825

>>6857811
Edgy bro

>> No.6857851

It comes and goes. Once a year a throw out box of unfinished stuff. but when I see crap on kindle sometimes I wish I tried to publish some

>> No.6857894

Slowly. I keep having dips in productivity and frequent dearths of ideas like potholes in the road and I'm fighting depression and a shitty job all the while. My life is a fucking mess but I still get up 3 hours early every day to make sure I have time to write. It's the only thing that really makes me feel alive anymore.

>> No.6857898

>>6857399
Do it. It is the required deed for your destiny.

>> No.6857901

It's too thin in comparison to the scope of what's been told.

I feel like I'm more comfortable in writing short stories, but those sell even less than novels

>> No.6857909

>>6857901
"what's been told?" Meaning you have a ton of canon and little narrative?

>> No.6857910

S'ok. Editing editing editing.
A program called "Hemingway" has helped me fix easy stupid mistakes like using past tense shit. I bought it when it came out it was about $7. It may be more by now. It color codes all your mistakes so it's easy to make fixes. Doesn't fix shitty writing though.

>> No.6857916

>>6857909
>Meaning you have a ton of canon and little narrative

yes

>> No.6857917

>>6857787
>>6857787
>>6857787
>>6857787
Please respond

>> No.6857925

>>6857916
So did you pretty much finish? I could see how that would hurt to face.

>> No.6857934

>>6857925
No, I didn't, but when the "first act" is more or less 50 pages long, you can easily tell how it's going to be. I think my natural attitude is one of synthesis, and I'm obsessed with not being didascalic. And obviously I don't want to water down everything with charachters and situations that lead to nowhere.

I'd start again, fleshing out more dialogues and descriptions, but I'm sure I'd be abandoning this project for another sooner or later

>> No.6857947

>>6857934
What do you mean by synthesis?

And what's your outlining style?

>> No.6857993
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6857993

>>6857787
>>6857925
I liked this actually. Initially I was going to just give you a pity read and be on my way guilt free, but your descriptions are good and I liked the opening sentence. You seem to have set up an at least moderately nuanced character with Howard, and the students have a lot of personality, though I found the bit with the leg feeling clichéd. The rest of their interactions were fun and appropriately vulgar. I found the kid raising his hand breathlessly to be clichéd as well. I think it would make him less one dimensional if he was introduced as also having a subtle reaction to the lack of enthusiasm in the class. Left alone, his introduction put me off.
I think you probably have some talent there, would continue reading.

>> No.6857997

>>6857993
Also I'm not exactly sure why you wrote it in the present tense. Did you want to convey the exhaustion of the present moment? Make the reader feel stuck in the classroom as well, perhaps?

>> No.6858013

>>6857993
>>6857997
It's actually from an acclaimed author's prize-winning novel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skippy_Dies

I just didn't like the excerpt (I thought it was lame humour) and wanted to see how others would react

>> No.6858015
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6858015

>>6858013
SKIPPY DIES?

So then we agree?

>> No.6858064

Badly. I've written about 50,000/70,000 words and am not sure if I shouldn't kill myself to stop the thing from being finished. It's an absolute clusterfuck of too many plots, too many layers, so much content that I can't use and have to erase, but then replace with what? I am certain I haven't got my chief concept down yet. I convince myself through narcissism that I have the ability to seamlessly stitch my various sections together, but I feel the need to do that only because I'm not convinced I can recreate whatever I destroy. I've got this absurd, disgustingly postmodern, nebulous 'plot' that can't come together other than by hackneyed, typically undergraduate showoffery. I've built up something extensively and let it fall over before, and I've only gotten to a higher word count with this one to make the same mistakes; hence I can't let it go. I've got to see it through even if it's bad. I've got to finish writing it and finish trying to get it (gulp) published and do everything else, even if it's bad, because I've dropped everything, and there's nothing else for me to pretend I can do, but I one hundred percent expect to be floundering for weeks, writing every day to downright zero accomplishment before I find a track I can obey. Essentially it no longer seems worth it.

>> No.6858098

>>6858064
First drafts are usually a search for the things you listed. Just keep writing and worry about refining in the second draft. Finish the first draft and worry about organizing later. You'll do fine, buddy.

>> No.6858620

>>6856647
Write down parts as you think of them and tie them together. Figure out what you want the tone to be and start describing the characters in that tone.

>> No.6858628

I'm writing the plot for a video game

>> No.6858635

Would you suggest writing short stories / novellas before starting a full blown novel?

>> No.6858638

>>6857162
Guy you replied to here. I was walking through the mall yesterday and got some good inspiration as to how to add it in. Probably going to get started after I do some more research into the aesthetic VW is based on, Miami Vice, GTA Vice City, etc then get to writing.

>> No.6858643

>>6858635
you need to practice writing before properly writing, do you have much practice or will the novellas be the practice?

>> No.6858644

>>6857314
You really ought to just send out the first book to publishers first... you'll be in for a world of disappointment if it gets picked up but they change everything about it.

>> No.6858656

>>6858635
A novel is longer. So it has to have all plotlines intertwined and with a much greater degree of depth than the other two options.
But on the other hand, the other two options, you have to make the plotline hit hard in the feels in a short time frame without being cheesy.

So, tl;dr, I would advise doing shorter 'dead end' stuff first to perfect your mechanics and/or style.

>> No.6858662

>>6857787
Eh, hit or miss for me. Why would the teacher sit in the middle as you say in the opening? What's supposed to be happening? There's nothing there that grabs me that tells me something interesting might happen and the prose isn't good enough to carry it. Howard feels like a cliche as well.

>> No.6858669

>>6858662
It's from a best-selling novel:

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/aug/06/paul-murray-skippy-dies-booker

>> No.6858678

>>6858669
That doesn't invalidate anything I said about the excerpt.

>> No.6858745
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6858745

>>6853978
Stopped it.
It followed the journeys of a amnesiac child-soldier veteran through a fictional world, (a colonised planet that's long lost contact with any other planet or humanity) as he pursues initially a kidnapped girl he likes but gets lost. part of the story is that he gets kidnapped by these fanatic nationalists and gets retrained only to rise up in the ranks. but i've never been through any military training or experience myself so i felt dishonest about writing it so i stopped. that was like 2 years ago.
I write short stories and poetry now occasionally and am working on an epic/related collection of poems/i don't know what the exact term for this...
Anyway it's about the collapse of a civilisation/empire. Titled something along the lines "The Hymn Cycle of the Kali Yuga."

besides this i have plans to try and write some novels about sjw-esque dystopias to try and stir shit up.

>> No.6858785

could someone critique this:

>winning an election is a pretty mechanical process.

first we need a message that will stick. points that are easy to memorize and repeat. things that make sense and are easy to understand at a functional level.

then we need a crowd to present the message to.

we will need physical reminders of the message (buttons stickers shirts;; things that are portable)

then we will need to present evidence of support to those interested in defeating our opponent.

with external support we can begin to present our message to the media.

we engage our supporters constantly, preparing them for a victory.

each one of these steps has many micro-steps as well. if every single step goes perfectly, we will win.

>> No.6858799

>>6855553
I didn't enjoy it, but I'm sure it would read better in the context of a story.

>> No.6858801

>>6855750
>This is a fatal mistake for many budding writers.
you know nothing. Some writers plan everything, either in head or on paper and some let luck guide the way. You know nothing.

>> No.6858843

>>6856891
In medias res is a common beginning in some notable plays and epics. As you said, it's good for non-linear narrative and adds more to the backstory.

>> No.6858851

>>6857787
I KEK'd at "the Jews."

I really liked it, would read more.

>> No.6858861

>>6858643
Why can't you just practice by writing?

That's what I've been doing, and as I progress and learn, I go back and fix my shit writing.

>> No.6858875

>>6858861
yeah of course, maybe my wording or his or both were quite bad, but what I got from his post was that he hadn't written anything before

the only way to practice is to write

>> No.6858892

>>6858875
Word.

I only recently began writing creatively, and my first work has been a novel that's now at 70,000 words.

When I go back to the beginning to edit, my writing is cringe-worthy, but I've gotten better. Hopefully.

So, I guess my point is that I don't see why a newb can't start with a novel.

>> No.6859526

>>6853978
Reaching 20k this week. I wasn't writing for like two weeks and now I'm not sure whether I should reread and rewrite what I already got or just keep going and edit it once I have the first draft done.

>> No.6861202

>>6853978
its not

>> No.6861436

>>6853978
I'm working on a short story collection, and it's treading quite slowly.

>> No.6861459

>>6859526

keep going and finish the first draft

DO NOT GO BACK TO EDIT

it's going to be poison

just finish your first draft first

>> No.6861473

>>6858745
It's just a first draft. Even if you feel it's dishonest just keep going. You can always edit it later.

>> No.6861481

>>6858785
This feels very disjointed and I'm not sure what you're trying to do with it.

>> No.6861509

>>6858801
Reading comprehension: you lack it.

>> No.6861658
File: 421 KB, 700x525, 1437345251839.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6861658

>years of writing bad fan fiction and short stories
>never had an idea for something original I actually liked
>finally have the framework of something I really like the sound of
>know I don't have the talent to actually write it
>suffer day in and day out staring at a word document with only a few paragraphs on it

I literally want to die. Why do I know just enough to know I suck as a writer? Why can't I just be stupid and be able to enjoy what I write?

>> No.6861686

>>6861658
Just throw words onto the page. First drafts are shit. You can do it anon, I believe in you.

>> No.6861699
File: 8 KB, 384x129, Capture.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6861699

not good. I stockpile ideas and references but never actually write because I'm a faggot

>> No.6861710

>>6853978
nah

>> No.6861748

>>6861686
>Just throw words onto the page
Zadie Smith and Gordon Lish would not be happy with yooooou.

>> No.6861823

>>6861748
>I've literally never written more than a short story.

>> No.6861844

>>6855553
>silently
>stopped reading there

>> No.6861857

It's coming but I need help. Where do you guys go online to get your writing critiqued? Like really critiqued not "I like it here's an ego-handjob."

>> No.6861858

>>6855553
I don't want to be cruel, anon, but this is pretty bad.

>3 "silently"s
>7 ellipses
>self-pity
>friendzone

Aside from my issues with the self-absorbed, mopey tone, your style is disjointed and communicates nothing important in no interesting way—nearly every descriptive term you use is colloquially common to the point of cliché, and therefore comes off flat and empty.

If you want me to critique everything specifically then I will, but I take issue with almost everything you've written. I don't think there's form or content here. You would do better to just start writing something else.

>> No.6861886

>>6861686
It's not even a draft issue. I know my writing is garbage. I read it again and I see all the little things that I hate in other writers. My vocabulary is trash, I can't write dialog, and my scenes feel like they're just set pieces clumsily moved from one location to the next.

>> No.6862018

>>6855768
>logarithms off
???????

>> No.6862022

>>6856857
adjective?

>> No.6862045
File: 28 KB, 604x453, 1601573_408780235935355_1983878455_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6862045

Just abandoned third novel in a year. Looking at maybe a novella, something slim. It'll be in two parts, one taking place in a single day, at a wedding. The wedding features a protagonist, a seventeen year old who has a conversation with an old Mexican man, whose daughter, the bride, just had a severe mental breakdown. The old man give the young man nuggets of wisdom, insight into life, into love and all that. It fills with man to do something with his life, giving an optimistic view of the future of a new generation of youth. The second part deals with the days after, how fast he loses the delight in his virtues of adulthood and masculinity. It will focus on situations involving drugs, and petty crime and...wow...I think I just realized that this is a bad idea.
Okay, now I'm at square one. Any suggestions?

>> No.6862053

>>6862045
>The old man give the young man nuggets of wisdom
Jesus Christ I'm tired
>The old man gives the young man nuggets of wisdom*

>> No.6862057

>>6862045
I'd read that anon it could be like Franny and Zooey

>> No.6862064

>>6862057
Yeah. I think I should just write it no matter how I feel about it, just on the principle that having finished works is worth something.

>> No.6862065

Not great, I was going to finish my suicide note but then I read Notes From the Underground, and it's far more sophisticated and articulates most of my feels far better than I possibly could. Feels pretty bad honestly, can't even kill myself properly.

>> No.6862068

>>6857910
the hemingway editor is shite

>> No.6862078

>>6862064
post here if you finish it

>> No.6862083

>>6862065
I feel you.
General Apathy almost always leads to a lack of satisfaction or into worse territory like drug abuse and depression. It's hard to change into a meaningful direction without any momentum, I can't give you the motivation to keep going, but that doesn't matter, because when life is really shit you tend to focus really hard on what you want, and how you're going to get it.

>> No.6862094

>>6862078
This thread will probably 404 before I finish it, but I'll post excerpts later tonight.

>> No.6862095

>>6853978

Trying to write a collection of short stories or poems, because i can't keep myself at it for more than 40 minutes.

I still managed to get some done. A lot of it is just hanging in the air. But it's a different thing each time.

>> No.6862101

>>6862094
thanks friendo

>> No.6862119

>>6862083
I'm lonely anon, I want to have sex and converse with somebody I care about. I feel like garbage every time I fuck a hooker or random high school/college girl just to have a warm hole to stick my dick into, but every girl I've been interested in has walked out on me because I fucked up the relationship in one way or another, and my friendships are even worse. Notes hit way too close to home, I'd like to think that I'm not as arrogant as the narrator, but I probably am, as I'm very vain and materialistic (though perhaps this could be attributed to my upbringing in Southern California) when it comes down to it and I often find myself envying people who I view as less intelligent, even though it's perfectly feasible that I'm just being oblivious to others emotions and my feels are not nearly as uncommon as I think they are. I don't fucking know, I hate Dostoyevsky for making me feel this way and taking away my special snowflake status, I'd kill him if he was still alive.

>> No.6862127

What's /lit/'s opinion on hard sci-fi?

>> No.6862132

>>6862083
>>6862119

Get a room

>> No.6862151

Not great anon I was writing like a squirrel on speed in high school. Went to college slowed down a bit because of depression and the like. This summer I've been going at a snail's pace due to work. Since I will be shipping out with the army soon I might be away from my novel for 8 months to around a year which I am afraid I'll return and be entirely disinterested in continuing.
It just seems like I only write well when I'm in class or something where I am supposed to be doing something else. With how things have been I have had some time to write but just haven't been in the write mood.
Well thanks Anon I needed this.

>> No.6862222

I'm writing this story where, simply put, the main character finds a machine that lets him relive the memories of a guy from an ancient civilization and witness its downfall. There are chapters that take place in the present day and chapters that happen in the past. But I'm wondering if it's too cliche and if I should just ditch the frame story and set it entirely in the past? Then again, that makes it feel perhaps a little too one-dimensional. I think it needs the present day setting to properly summarize the lesson learned from the past and its consequences. Or maybe I should trust in the reader to imagine that on their own? Fuck, I don't know.

>> No.6862247

>>6862222
Both past and present sound good. You could see the characters perspective change as he witnesses more of the past.

>> No.6862260

>>6862222
>the main character finds a machine that lets him relive the memories of a guy from an ancient civilization and witness its downfall.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Inner_Light_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

>In the story, Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) is struck with an energy beam from an alien probe. While minutes pass for the rest of the crew, Picard experiences 40 years as Kamin, a humanoid scientist whose planet is threatened by the nova of its sun. Picard learns that the purpose of the probe was to keep alive the memory of Kamin's race long after the death of their civilization.

>> No.6862287

>>6862247
I agree it would add a lot of depth and impact to the story and the protagonist, if done right, but...

>>6862260
...Yeah, it's a pretty used setup. Recently, I coincidentally came across this novel, Labyrinth by Kate Mosse, which has practically the same kind of structure. And the Assassin's creed games, more and less.

>> No.6862302

>>6862287
how about the main character sees bits from the past and also bit from the future

and using this information, he tries to prevent some disaster(s) from happening in the future, however his actions to prevent them actually cause the disaster(s) to happen.

>> No.6862304

Not going at all. Every idea I have is not original/sounds like a YA.
Also I am a shit writer

>> No.6862313

>>6862287
>>6862302
nah what a true literary genius would do

>guy is spectating the memories of a dude in the past
>meanwhile, that very dude in the past is spectating the MC from the future
>neither realizes it, however they both conclude the same thing
>which is [insert your views on society here]

something like "woah, that's what the future will be like? i need to change things!" and simultaneously "woah, that's what happened to that civilization in the past? i need to change things!"

>> No.6862316

>>6862304
nothing wrong with YA

or at least, after you make millions of dollars selling movie rights, you won't think there's anything wrong with YA

>> No.6862354

>>6862302
>>6862313

That doesn't sound like a bad idea at all! What I'm going for is a bit more basic than that though.

The core of the past chapters is the protagonist's relationship with the tyrant of the ancient empire, who is largely responsible for what happens. He could prevent the disaster, but that would mean defying the one person in the world he can call a friend. It's mostly about his moral struggle, trying to choose between his own desires and the greater good.

In the present day, the narrator struggles with his employer, who wants him, through his visions of the past, to reverse-engineer the ancient technology, for potentially nefarious purposes. But as he learns more about the past, the main character realizes that history is practically repeating itself every step of the way.

Over the course of the story, the present day hero's identity begins to fully blend with that of the guy in the past, so that both can reach the conclusion that lets them rest in peace.

>> No.6862369 [DELETED] 

You open a novella and it starts like this:

http://pastebin.com/TeAib5Kb

Do you continue?

>> No.6862374

>>6862369
No way. The "pale glow of the computer screen" is so cliched.

>> No.6862380

>>6862287

There are other ways to achieve the "looking into the past from the present" thing though. Have you thought about framing it differently? I would say the framing of it is essential, so of course keep it. Depending on how you frame it, you are arriving at completely different conclusions and lessons learned by looking back on it

For example,

All Men are Mortal, by Simone de Beauvoir.
>self absorbed actress wants to be an immortal legendary star
>meets an actual immortal man
>if she can make him love her, he will remember her forever, thus immortal status achieved
>he recounts his life history over the centuries
>starts as tale of conquest and lust and adventure
>eventually becomes so repetitive and tedious, love and war are no more significant than staring at a tree for 50 years
>tells her love, war, and everything in between is insignificant

Mr. Nobody, film by Jaco Van Dormael
>every decision branches into new universe (many worlds theory)
>worlds oldest man dying
>recounts his life in an interview
>from birth has the ability to see the multiple outcomes of his decisions
>so old he can't remember which one he really lived, all of them seem equally true
>Keeps focusing on different girls he banged in each timeline for some reason
>Each one of the loves of his life was "the one"
>Each woman simultaneously the single most significant thing in his life
>(whole film is a good argument in favor of polygamy in my opinion)

Harry Potter
>Harry dunks his head in a bowl of goo
>looks into the past
>Sees his dad was a complete wanker at his age
>Doesn't learn a damn thing, continues to be a wanker

>> No.6862384

>>6862380
Nice post. Appreciate the effort.

>> No.6862391

>>6858098
Feels good to see such support of we anons.

>> No.6862395

>>6862380

A very good point. At one point I was going for the plot twist that the present day MC didn't actually relive the past because of the machine, he's the reincarnation of the past guy and remembered on his own. That would give his present day actions the motivation of wanting to redeem his past mistakes.
But maybe that's crossing the border to fantasy already...I'd like to try make it convincing.

>> No.6862405

yoooooooooo what do i write book in

ms word?
notepad?
google docs?
ms paint?

>> No.6862608 [DELETED] 

Wrote this a day or two ago; it comes right before my (almost complete) book's climax.

He crossed the street and turned onto the Bridge of Angels. Each bearing a relic of the Passion, the winged guardians looked on as he passed them by. First the post and the whip; Terra thought of Venice, and the flash of light, and the helplessness. Somehow it was clearer than ever in his head. Second the crown of thorns and the veil; unbidden, memories of Terra's depression surfaced. He remembered the oblivion; he remembered the pain; he remembered knowing nothing at all. Third the garment and the lots, and the nails; he cast his fate to Aeon, and what had it brought him? He looked up at the sixth angel, looming on his right. He held the nails casually in one hand, the other held up in greeting. His youthful face made it seem like he had no idea what he was holding, the agony it represented.
And ahead, fourth the Cross and the paper; he had a purpose now, and a name. Terra of Budapest, the Penitent Blessing. Write TBPB on a scrap of paper and crucify me, Terra thought.
You've come so far.
Fifth, the sponge; Terra thought of the wine that was shared, of the friends that were made. Castel Sant'Anelo, red and huge and round, peered down at him. He thought of the stories that said that the castle was a hiding place for popes' mistresses, and wondered if Aeon knew the truth.
He turned left, turning his back on the angel with the lance. The tenth angel would find him when it did, and until then, Terra would savour the sponge.

>> No.6864065

>>6862405
how the fuck do you write a book in mspaint
also do which ever program you feel most comfortable in

>> No.6864081

>>6855553

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLKhxjfG03A

>> No.6864138

>>6853978
Splunge.

>> No.6864200

>>6862405
Scrivener is god-tier if you are willing to shell out some money, or find a working cracked version to torrent.

As for my book, it's at 35,000 and the end feels so far away

>> No.6864226

>>6862405
ms paint is a great choice, friend

>> No.6864231

/lit/ made me realize I use too many adjectives and try too hard on my prose

>> No.6864236

>>6853978
>tfw can't share my work with /lit/ because I don't trust you guys

On a different note, I've been writing lately and enjoying it. If I don't end up pursuing it as a career, I can at least use it as a tool to explore who I am in a less conventional way.

>> No.6864336

>>6856857
lmao dumbass

>> No.6865123

I figured I'd share since one work was already torn apart. This is the opening from a first draft, looking for opinions on what's shitty about it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
“Brother, I’m scared,” Annline whispered as her knees jittered against Jericho’s back.

The smell of sea salt drilled into the cracks of their crate. Jericho rubbed dust from his eyes. He peered out their wooden hideout to see the gray clouds overhead. He noticed he was breathing fog, and covered his mouth. Crates don't breathe after all.

A windblast fluttered clothes stringed between clustered homes. Jericho could feel the mist on his face. When he listened, he could hear the sloping roofs dripping with rain. Something was off. He struggled with his view, he couldn't see anything but clouds, roofs, and the walls of this stockyard. Finally he found the right angle, and saw a door swinging on its frame. Nobody cared to latch it? The treasures of the home were in plain-view: a golden candle-stick on a polished table with a silken cloth under it. That kind of carelessness is reserved for the countryside, not a port-town. Some begger could pilfer that house of gold in an hour. Jericho figured he'd do it in under twenty minutes.

He scooted about, before sitting on something bony.

“Ow! That’s my thigh, Jeri,” Annline said while struggling. Her elbow jabbed his nose. His head struck the crate with a thud. Now wasn’t the time to be loud…

He untangled her arm from his neck. His nose still smarted. “Hold still Anny, I’m trying to see,” he whispered, before putting his eye between the rotten boards.

He saw the 'muddy' cobblestones of the stockyard. Little, black-water rivers flowed between them, traveling underneath crates. Wooden walls topped with serrated blades lined the yard. The lack of a roof was an oversight, but it could keep common thieves out. A guard-bear could get that done just as well. Even just a gate. Which it did have a gate; it was swinging freely and irresponsibly.

Even a legless thief could fleece the whole fucking place, Jericho thought.

He noticed something else. A poster nailed to a wall. It was a picture of a Wache soldier grabbing a shield and blade- a recruitment poster for those who couldn’t read. It reminded him that they were still in Lightborne territory. He needed that. The whole place was a ghost-town. Just last night he was hearing drunkards in the street. Now? Just wind and chill.

Annline’s narrow chin touched his shoulder. “What da' you see?” she asked

“Nothin'…” Jericho blew out fog, “Nothin' but a poster begging for fresh meat.”

>> No.6865157

>>6861886
That doesn't change my advice. Don't go back to read it again. Just plow forward until you finish. After you're done you can go back through and fix those things that bother you.

>> No.6865201

>>6865123
The writing is mediocre and the ideas and elements are terrible.

>> No.6865223

>>6865201
Suppose I should ask.

What's medicore in particular.

Which ideas and elements are terrible.

>> No.6865635
File: 748 KB, 1920x1080, 1409009004764.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6865635

>>6853978

>>http://pastebin.com/yZaYsLhr

Here is the first chapter for my sci-fi novel. I'd really appreciate it if anyone would give feedback. I've seen some good writing on here before and know you guys can judge, so this is my first time posting. Thanks for anything and everything, guys.

>> No.6867118

>>6855750
>you've got a beginning, a middle, and an end, but none of the connecting material.
Sigh

>> No.6867174

It is going, but too slowly..broke up with my gf so now i have more time. It is a graphic novel, most time i figure out how to draw something, becaus im a shitty drawer..and lazy as funk also..anyway its about butterfly

>> No.6867186

>>6865123
I think its pretty good..lighthearted..hard to say more atm>>6865123
>>6865123