/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.6842399]

/tv/ have been trying to write lines for Vince Vaghn's character from True Detective.
Let's show them how to do it right /lit/.

[Anonymous No.6842424]

Mow the lawn. I don’t want any of these beaner babies getting snake bitten.

[Anonymous No.6842472]

I feel like two botanists living in a hermitage on a marble cliff being stalked by murderous Lumberjacks. So to answer your question, yes, I'm feeling apoplectic.

[Anonymous No.6842494]

I tried to live like an ascetic. My diet was too acidic. It was a bad aesthetic, felt like nothing was copacetic. So to answer your question, yes, I'm feeling apoplectic.

[Anonymous No.6842518]

The point is to try and write lines that are similair in tone, and appropriate to the character as it is in the show.

[Anonymous No.6842532]

>>6842518
best one yet

[Anonymous No.6842547]

who the hell watches tv i dont know who this character is.

[Anonymous No.6842554]

>>6842518
fuckin gold m8

[Anonymous No.6842555]

>>6842518
Is it actually a developed character
What's not generic about him
I don't get you TV people

[Anonymous No.6842564]

My writer, the guy who created me, didn't realize that last season succeeded in spite of all the stuff it became known for. So he only carried that over and forgot to include an intriguing central story and mystery. Now I am hard to watch, a parody of what never worked

[Anonymous No.6842578]

>>6842564
Wouldn't he have written and planned it all before the first was a success? These things aren't shot in a day

[Anonymous No.6842581]

I tried to be a writer once. Do you know what that means, Ray? I was that desperate in life. Then I mastered at it. I learned how to write my fate. Never have to write Ray.

[Anonymous No.6842587]

Some quotes for reference :

>Sometimes everybody’s not always on the same side.

>A good woman mitigates our baser tendencies.

>If I don’t come up with a new play, the dead trees, the present from the stork are gonna be what they call moot points.

>Sometimes your worst self is your best self. Know what I'm saying?

>There's a certain stridency at work here. I'm gonna put it off to you gettin' blasted.

>Sometimes our worst self is our best self. Know what I mean?

[Anonymous No.6842590]

>>6842587
so u want shitty pseudophilosophy?

[Anonymous No.6842594]

>>6842555
The point is that they are chessy pseudo-philosophical lines.

[Anonymous No.6842602]

>>6842590
Yes, but only if you can make it funny.

[Anonymous No.6842609]

>>6842578
Nah, he wrote it after. If you don't watch, it is different format than most shows. season two new story, new cast

[Anonymous No.6842614]

>>6842587
>>Sometimes everybody’s not always on the same side.
Nice

[Anonymous No.6842622]

>>6842587
these have to be intentionally bad what is the context of this character, is the whole show ironic

[Anonymous No.6842634]

>>6842622
I think he's supposed to be a pseudointellectual thug trying to get into desk-tier crime? Like a parallel with the old archetype of the bourgeois cultivating elevated appearances

[Anonymous No.6842635]

>>6842622
No its not. That is the funny part. They are meant to be taken seriously. He is a gangster involved in all sorts of corruption.

[Anonymous No.6842655]

You can never only be one person, Ray. You can be beauty, but you gotta sometimes be the beast. Be the beast, Ray.

[Anonymous No.6842662]

You think this calls for a measured response? Ray, I've never even owned a ruler.

[Anonymous No.6842665]

I tried to live in the moment. For years. Couldn't do it. The moment always feels a millimeter away, always right behind or in front.

[Anonymous No.6842675]

You want me to be cool, *and* keep my edge? Ray, it sounds like you wanna fuck a tube of IcyHot.

[Anonymous No.6842680]

>>6842675
you should fuck a tube of icyhot instead of posting these stupid ass unfunny lines

[Anonymous No.6842685]

There's two sides to every man, Ray: the good side and the bad side. The tough thing is telling which one is which.

[Anonymous No.6842692]

>>6842685
shut up

[no u No.6842702]

>>6842692
no u

[Anonymous No.6842711]

You /tv/ fucks needs to stop ruining our board.

[Anonymous No.6842720]

/lit/ cant be funny?

[Anonymous No.6842726]

>>6842720
oh yeah posting a bunch of stupid mock quotes about a tv show is funny and definitely literature related

[Anonymous No.6842734]

>>6842726
It will be funny if you can write funny.

[Anonymous No.6842741]

You know, they say that Caesar got killed because he was hungry for power. Well guess what, Ray? I'm not hungry, I'm satiated.

And it's time to drop a deuce.

[Anonymous No.6842752]

I'm like wind blowing into the city, whatever I do is beyond whatever's been done.

[Anonymous No.6842766]

>>6842752

[Anonymous No.6842791]

>>6842752

this is actually dope

[Anonymous No.6842835]

/tv/ is far better at this than you guys.

[Anonymous No.6842845]

>>6842835
Its all serious and angsty buisness here in /lit/.

[Anonymous No.6842951]

>>6842399
Be careful before you chase the shadow of ignorance away. The truth isn't always sunny, Ray.

[Anonymous No.6842966]

Maybe after a few more posts I'll link this thread to /tv/ cause this is parody worthy.

[Anonymous No.6842972]

>>6842951
And if the sun's too hot, don't say I didn't tell you to bring sunscreen.

[Anonymous No.6843001]

>watching television
>watching meme detective
/tv/ is basically reddit, you may as well announce you're a redditor.

Is that Nietzsche? shut the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.6843002]

This city is money baby, YOU!, are so damn mon-ey baby! Woo! Alright now fuck all that shit my man - what's say we go down and bean bag some beaner babies eh? Cheer you up some eh? Shit man you just gotta get into the rhythm of it you're on easy street baby! Woo!

Oh shit baby hold up - this right chicky barbie is giving me the ol' blue two. Oh shitty ditty mc-mitty! Woo damn! Heyyy waoohhh sing it baby! Shit baby you are TOO money, you're Switzerland right now baby - woo!

[Anonymous No.6843008]

>>6842966
Isn't it already parody?
Oh you were asking for genuine scriptwriting
so it's like you haven't gotten the point that nobody here takes your shit tv seriously

[Anonymous No.6843011]

>>6842966
link /tv/ thread, they're pretty clever w/ these things

[The cats No.6843013]

I'll sell one of you homos The Nightmare Factory for $75. $50 less than ebay.

[Anonymous No.6843050]

>>6842634
>trying to get into

he used to run all this stuff in the past but decided to go clean because he wanted a stable life for his future family. so he invested in the rail project but the only dude who knew he had paid into it is dead so now vaughncouver is broke and has to turn back to crime to get his money up again.

[Anonymous No.6843079]

I actually really like his character. I think this season is better than the last one. It's more subtle.

[Anonymous No.6843083]

>>6842399
>writing lines
>for Vince Vaughn

It doesn't matter...he's a shittier actor and human being.

He's worthless.

[Anonymous No.6843104]

>>6842399
Jesus Christ I feel like I'm tap dancing on a rubber raft here. They've got me by the balls. Video tapes, photographs, even my voice. They gave him my fucking face and now I have a FUCKING doppelgänger kidnapping my pregnant wife. Velcoro, do you know what a bolito is?

[Anonymous No.6843118]

>>6843104

[Anonymous No.6843267]

>>6843083
Do people only hate him because he looks like an Arab?

[Anonymous No.6843278]

>>6842622
He's a gangster trying to become a "legitimate" businessman. He says stupid shit and throws out big words because he wants to appear intelligent to convey being legitimate.

Rust from S1 was not much different, in fact, he said even dumber shit. The difference, I suppose, is that his character was evident from the beginning, whereas it wasn't/isn't apparent for Vince Vaughn's character.

[Anonymous No.6843304]

>>6843267
no they hate him because he can't act and he chews scenery.

[Anonymous No.6843319]

>>6842399
>more true detective memelords
go back to tv