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/lit/ - Literature

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682822 No.682822 [Reply] [Original]

women are like books

>> No.682826
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682826

Stacked?

>> No.682827

I can't tolerate them for more than one throw?

>> No.682828

you buy about 6 of them off your neighbor when he wants to clear out his garage

>> No.682829

Books are enjoyable and interesting.

>> No.682832

When you break the spine, they're worth less?

>> No.682834

You can't be sure that you'll like them based on "cover" alone?

Sometimes the plain or ugly ones are the most interesting?

Have Layers! ..wait, no, that's ogres.

>> No.682837

you like them underage, nauseating, fucked up in the head and willing to go with a five-some with your brothers?

>> No.682838

They bring hours of simple happiness into an otherwise drab life?

>> No.682840

>>682832
not really....i mean, they can still use their mouth.....and they probably do butt stuff without complaining.

>> No.682841

They're better off mulched because the digital equivalent is so much better?

>> No.682846

They burn well.

>> No.682847

Hm..
I suspect OP's motivation was to force the cumdumpsters out of hiding by stirring them to write something positive about their gender.

Oh well, guilty.

>> No.682858

when you bend them their spines break

>> No.682865
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682865

>>682858
where's your god now?

>> No.682867

no, books are useful.

>> No.682874

I haven't stuck my penis into one in a while.

>> No.682877

The ones that make you think are the ones worth keeping?

>>682841
Or in this guy's case, the real thing is better unless you're a shut-in neckbeard?

>> No.682880

>>682867
>>682846
>>682841
>>682837
>>682832
>>682828
>>682827
>>682829

Are:
a) bitter because girl's don't talk to them in real life
b) gay
c) being obnoxious because they're anon
d) all of the above

>> No.682885

>>682880
Or they know how to joke around. Fuck off, bro.

>> No.682892

>>682880
hello femanon, how are your wristcuts?

>> No.682912

>>682892

Nonexistent. It's the bruises from the male dominated world that are so slow to heal.

Yeah, no, I can't even take me seriously for that one.

>> No.682914

You don't want to take them out in public because someone might try to steal them from you?

>> No.682921

some of the older ones smell funny

>> No.682924

They fit easily in my backpack for covert transport.

>> No.682926

they lost all sense of class and decorum a century ago?

>> No.682934

you use them once then never look at them again?

>> No.682944

>>682926

That is such a perfect statement. "Women are like books because they they lost all sense of class and decorum a century ago." May I borrow that?

>> No.682948

you can judge them by their cover

>> No.682950

>>682944

Only if you credit it to me, Anonymous.

>> No.682953

never touched one

>> No.682955

It's always best to lock them down in your basement so you can fuck them whenever you feel like it.

>> No.682956

only talk about them

>> No.682957

Women are like books, they're full of hellish introspection.

>> No.682966

I rarely finish them

>> No.682967
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682967

A book never shouted at me for forgetting our "one week anniversary" as if I even know what the fuck that means.

A book has never spent $2,000 in a weekend shopping for clothes.

A book occasionally has something intelligent to say.

>> No.682979

>>682950

But of course.

>> No.682982
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682982

You only need one of them.

>> No.683017

it would be time i put my penis in a book

>> No.683029

they both burn well

>> No.683051

My family would be shocked if I ever had sex with one.

>> No.683063

if they aren't virtuous and chaste, the catholics and puritans prefer them rather roasty

>> No.683086

books increase in value with age, women decrease

>> No.683087
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683087

>>682912

>> No.683095

>>682828
lol

>> No.683110

They sometimes give me paper cuts.

>> No.683120

You open them up by folding them apart, you go through them from top to bottom or just skim them if you whish and, finally, with a fat and satisfied sound you shut them up.

>> No.683143

real machos don't need no books!

>> No.683153

Fine ones are expensive.

>> No.683159

you can just go to the library and rent one, and then never bring it back and nobody will really do anything to you?

>> No.683164

They're gay.

>> No.683175
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683175

your posts read like the sigh of an oppressed creature, /lit/, for women are the real world while books are masturbation.

Virgin Men of all Countries, Unite!

>> No.683178

>>682912
Oh god, a feminazi.

>> No.683528

They make you feel more important

>> No.684376

People claim to understand them, but in actuality, do not.

>> No.684386

Are they soulless and made from paper?

>> No.684390

They never talk to me.

>> No.684400

if you spend too much time engaged with them you can get a massive headache.

>> No.684401

I like to cut out their insides and hide things in them.

>> No.684434

Real men don't need them.

>> No.684442

we try to grasp them in an effort to try to grasp at beauty

>> No.684558

>>684386
Hey, I take offense at that.

Books have souls.

>> No.684596

>>684390
>>682921

lol
These are my favorite

>> No.684616

>>682822
more valuable with dust-jacket?

>> No.684867

The Nazis burned a lot of Jewish ones?

>> No.684873

They're a fun escape from reality?

>> No.684879

I have a bunch of them squeezed together in my shelf?

>> No.684883

I borrow mine from my dad?

>> No.684911

>>682822
Much better since the 1960s?

>> No.684915

They yellow with age and smell like glue?

>> No.684916

I freakin love them?

>> No.684917

I lend my favourite ones to my friends and insist that they give them a shot.

>> No.684918

>>682912

Mrs Nealon?

>> No.684919

Sexy.

>> No.684921

they look better without dog-ears?

>> No.684923

I have sex with them?

>> No.685063

They're too fucking full of words, and the only good ones are always in the kitchen.

>> No.685148

The best ones are Russian and talk about existentialism?
I guess I can agree with that.

>> No.685153

>>682880
Nah, I'd say gay men are still pretty fond of women.
They're probably virgin sexists.

>> No.685156

>>685148
>>685148
Winrar!

>> No.685158

>>682982
Oh ho ho ho

>> No.685159

They scratch when you fuck them.

>> No.685163

>>683159
Wrong.
This will prevent you from renting more in the future.
It's like going into a brothel, and murdering one of the prostitutes after you've fucked her.

>nobrofistforyoumyfellownigger.jpg

>> No.685166

They can be packed away conveniently in boxes when you're not using them?

>> No.685169

Your best ones can be arranged on a shelf, bringing new meaning to the word 'trophy wife'?

>> No.685172
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685172

>>684401

>> No.685175

Though many good ones come from europe, alot is lost in translation

>> No.685178
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685178

People will think you're weird if you look for them in the kids' section!

ZING

>> No.685255

They're never as interesting as you expected them to be.

>> No.685311

the stuff that really matters happens beneath the covers

>> No.685315

I like small books from obscur Eastern Europe countries

>> No.685346

Best to get them used.

>> No.685359

>>682822
>The Brothers Karamazov
Respect, bro.

>> No.685392

>>685311
Win

They might keep you up all night but many of them still leave you unsatisfied?

>> No.685394

you cannot fuck it up the arse

>> No.685397

>>685394
last time i checked you could fuck women up the arse, bro.

>> No.685398

Its not always the new and expencive ones, but sometimes the used and cheap ones that are best?

>> No.685612

You can always buy one?

>> No.685632
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685632

Because liking them makes you a nerd?

Fucking females is for poofs

>> No.685636

What If I love a woman that love books? Is that considered a threesome?

>> No.685661

They don't come cheap.

>> No.687419

The best ones can be used over and over

>> No.687430

I've got it everyone!

Having a large collection of them is only impressive to dudes/lesbians!

>> No.687559

>>685315
i fucking lol'd

>> No.687756

just so you guys know i created this thread

>> No.687768

They can be recycled into toilet paper.

>> No.687773

They're not worth owning after you're done with them except to show off.

>> No.687775

The used ones are worth barely nothing.

>> No.687778

The electronic version will one day replace the physical one.

>> No.687779

best when they're easy to read?
thicker the better?
the only ones worth spreading apart are over 50 years old?

>> No.687780

>>687756

No, I did you faggot!

>> No.687790

No I started it.

>> No.687791

>>687780
i can delete this thread right now if i want to

>> No.687812

They both tell long, fictional stories that have nothing to do with your life?

>> No.687816

Setting one on fire ruins it

>> No.687829

They're good for wiping my ass with.

>> No.687832

No one likes the ones from Africa

>> No.687840

I always check their backsides to see what they've got.

>> No.687844

European ones are best

>> No.687847

The easiest ones are short, have large tit-- I mean text, and are found in elementary schools.

>> No.687861

Smearing shit all over them would be gross and awkward.

>> No.687867

The majority of the ones made in the last twenty years annoy the hell out of me.

>> No.687868

They're the only things that I really enjoy in life.

>> No.687882

Once I reach the climax, I leave some shit in 'em so I can remember which of them I've done before.

Usually there is another one that spawned from it that I'd like to do to.

>> No.687910

neither can make a decent sandwich

>> No.687943

They are for faggots.

>> No.687955

>>687791

Do it, then, because I made the thread!

>> No.687968

they both get burned in my backyard fire pit once they get too tore up to be used again.