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/lit/ - Literature

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679823 No.679823 [Reply] [Original]

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." Anton Chekhov

Is this actually good writing or just pain in the ass imagery overload?

>> No.679827

Give us some fucking context.

>> No.679837

"Ivgeny ventured out into the cold to find Irena. The moon was shining fully, brightly, tonight. It would help him track her down."

"Ivgeny ventured out into the cold to find Irena. A broken beer bottle caught his eye by the side of the road. It would help him track her down."

I think I'm doing something wrong.

>> No.679838

>>679837

Well, you're focusing on the beer bottle in the second example, so it's a bad comparison. There's not even a mention of light, much less that it's moonlight.

>> No.679839

>>679837

I have no idea what the fuck you are doing.

>> No.679841

>>679823
This is a great line.
>>679837
These are horribly amateurish.

>> No.679843

What exactly is OP trying to do? Rewrite Chekhov?

>> No.679845

>>679843

I think so? Whatever he is doing, it needs to stop.

>> No.679860

Since OP apparently has the communication skills of a four year old, I'll try and explain:

Chekhov once offered a tip to aspiring writers: "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." This is condensed into /lit/'s writing maxim of "Show don't tell."

I think OP is trying to figure out if it's a good idea to actually do that or not. And he is failing miserably with his example sentences.

>> No.679863

>>679860
And I should add that Yes, Chekhov is write and you should do what he says.

And Yes, you are doing something wrong.

>> No.679864

Not OP, but from what I can tell, the first quote is Chekov's to "show, not tell" advice and the next two sentences are OP trying to take that advice to heart (and failing hilariously).

>> No.679873

>>679864

Derp disregard that, I suck cocks and need to refresh the page before posting.

>> No.679878
File: 10 KB, 320x220, putin_medvedev_laugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
679878

>>679837
I hope English isn't your native language. This is just bad.

>> No.681582

This is a good discussion derailed by OP's inability to form coherent thoughts. Bump for something interesting.

>> No.681589
File: 13 KB, 186x204, 1272148402814.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
681589

>>679837

>> No.681599

>>679837
ignoring the hilarious misinterpretation, how the FUCK is he going to track her down with a broken bottle? How is the moon going to help?

yes you are doing something wrong

writing

>> No.681608

>>679823

You need to use an image to preempt your description of the moonlight and its use, but not as obvious. So for a badly-written example of mine, "Keeping his eyes focused on the ground, he saw moonlight reflected from the wet pavement. The light would help him track her down."

>> No.681612
File: 41 KB, 500x647, sigh-charlie-brown.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
681612

>>679837

>> No.681713

>>681608
Well finally, thank you for giving actual advice. Everyone else can go swallow their damn broken glass as moonlight glints upon it, assholes.

>> No.682245

>>681713

Ignore the whole lot of them. Keep writing, Anon. NOTHING CAN STOP YOU!

>> No.682601

>>679837
Why do I feel like I'm reading examples from a "Find what's wrong with this passage" sample question you see on the SATs?

>> No.683272

>>682245
Thanks for the encouragement. I know my examples weren't perfect but I will definitely improve - no thanks to the morons of /lit/, except you and the other person who gave real advice.

>> No.683273

>>683272


>I know my examples weren't perfect but I will definitely improve

I won't hold my breath.

>> No.683439

>>681713
Ignore the people ragging on you. Chekhov is trying to say, "give details and imagery in your writing, appeal to the imaginations and inner eyes of your readers." Don't say someone is angry. Show his brow furrowing, his face reddening, his lip quivering, his fists tightening, his veins throbbing.

>> No.683449

>>683439


That's one angry dude. Is steam cartoonishly spouting out his ears?

>> No.683490
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683490

>>683449

>> No.683521

This thread is so bad it gave me cancer

>> No.683534

"Ivgeny ventured out into the cold to find Irena. A broken bottle by the side of the road glinted back the reflections of the full moon. She would have trouble hiding, tonight. He would track her down."

Was that really so hard? I think I lost brain cells reading this thread.