/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.6637357]

HOW DARE YOU

[Anonymous No.6637365]

>"How dare you!"
>audience applauds rapturously
>"How.....DARE YOU!"
>audience gives standing ovations, several members of the crowd high five one another
>"HOW....DARE...YOU!"
>applause gets even louder somehow, audience starts stomping their feet, several members of the audience start having seizure, shit begins being flung around the auditorium, Hitchens begins crowd surfing

[Anonymous No.6637435]

>>6637357
God is....*puffs on 12 cigs & drinks 3/4 of a bottle of whiskey* um, in a phrase used by the late great Bertrand Russell, a great personal friend of mine, to use a phrase of his... *drinks bottle of 1969 Dom Perignon* God is "bad".
>audience starts clapping rapturously
"But what's more, dear audience, when one reads, Mother Theresa,or um... Aquinas... or hm, the bible, or anything like that, it becomes abundantly clear that it is bad.
>audience goes completely wild, many smashing their fists on the ground like apes, many hooting like a christian evangelical church

>audience member holds his hand up
Yes you sir, that man there who looks like a contorted gibbon
"What... w-what proof do you have?"

>the room goes silent, hitchens is visibly shaking... his wine bottle smashes in his grip.

"HOW. DARE. YOUUUUUUUUUUU. AS THE GREAT KARL MARX (WHO I SPOKE TO ONLY YESTERDAY ABOUT FOREIGN POLICY) SAID RELIGION IS THE CIGARETTES OF THE PEOPLE. DONT YOU KNOW THAT CIGARETTES ARE THE CIGARETTES OF THE PEOPLE? RRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH! RUH RUH MMMMRM!"

>crowd seize the offender and tear him limb from limb, much like the early Christians before some heretic, and Hitch transforms into a 90ft tall Gorilla and smashes every church within a 12 mile radius

[Anonymous No.6637446]

>>6637435
>Yes you sir, that man there who looks like a contorted gibbon
fucking kek

[Anonymous No.6637456]

So is the only way /lit/ can deal with this guys arguments through memes and shitposting?

[Anonymous No.6637458]

>>6637456
HOW

[Anonymous No.6637461]

>>6637456

[The cats No.6637475]

>>6637456
B-b-but my parents brainwashed me and reddit called me edgy ;_;
>hat meme

[Anonymous No.6637476]

>>6637461
>IE
>IE
>IE

[Anonymous No.6637480]

>>6637456

He didn't actually have arguments. All he had was rhetoric and performance. He was a modern-day Sophist.

[Anonymous No.6637490]

>>6637456
CELESTIAL KINGDOM

[Anonymous No.6637502]

>>6637461
>(You)
may want to edit this out so it looks like someone but yourself cared enough about your post to screenshot it

[Anonymous No.6637518]

>>6637502
well here's someone who isn't him saying weeks later that it was a good post: it was a good post

it doesn't really make me dislike hitchens anymore than my general disagreement with his views. if he's all style, then that style is freaking great. i wish i could do that

[Anonymous No.6637658]

>>6637435
This is pretty funny.

[Anonymous No.6637775]

>>6637435
Kek. Saved

[Anonymous No.6637783]

>>6637461
>Saving your own posts
Wow, that's pathetic

[Anonymous No.6637800]

>>6637365
10/10

[Anonymous No.6637802]

>>6637456
/lit/s mad that he dumped Socialism at the turn of the 21st century because of how cowardly, irrational, and apathetic about human rights the modern day "adherents" have become. So in typical /lit/ fashion, they try to peg him as a fedora, despite the fact that none of the posters in this thread would disagree with him on god's nonexistence.

[Anonymous No.6637828]

>>6637518
>if he's all style, then that style is freaking great.
Agreed. If I turn off my logical brain I thoroughly enjoy listening to his speaking.

Watching Hitchens debate is like watching a football game. It doesn't do anything for you intellectually, but sometimes it's fun to grab a beer and participate in some mindless tribalism.

[ΟΥΤΙΣ No.6637832]

>>6637365
>"teensy weensy little sacred cock?"
>booing, hissing, burning and crucifying of God-effigies
>"ENORMOUS SECULAR COCK!"
>yelling, screaming, jubilant tossing of fedoras

[Anonymous No.6637836]

>>6637802
We're actually engaging in a complex ritual of ridicule, which all famous 'intellectual' figures must be subject to in order that their fanboys don't unquestioningly accept everything they say.

[Anonymous No.6637846]

>>6637802
Nice bait

[ΟΥΤΙΣ No.6637847]

>>6637802
I'm a fascist and an atheist, that doesn't mean I have to see him as any more than the pop-panderer like he was. He was the Billy Graham of atheism.

[Anonymous No.6637859]

>>6637828
Did it take you many years of practice to become this conceited?
>>6637847
>I'm a fascist

[Anonymous No.6637864]

>>6637859
It's a natural talent.

[Anonymous No.6637869]

>>6637502
Not only there's probably a crazy amount of samefaggotry among the replies, the guy actually screencaps his own posts and posts it in every Hitchens thread.

This is such a great sample of the frame of mind of the average Hitchens fan

[Anonymous No.6637872]

Was Hitch a cuck?

[Anonymous No.6637874]

>>6637846
>If you say one more thing I dislike, I'm going to accuse you of being an attention whore

[Anonymous No.6637888]

>>6637435
Kek

[Anonymous No.6637889]

>>6637802
maybe you're right, but no one needs to "peg" him as a fedora. he's been a self-declared part of the new atheists from the start. that's like saying dawkins is just "pegged" as a fedora.

[Anonymous No.6637896]

>>6637802
>despite the fact that none of the posters in this thread would disagree with him on god's nonexistence.

I think one of the most amusing qualities of fedoras is their absolute incredulity that any rational person could ever be theistic. To them, you're either an enlightened scientist or an ignorant fundie; there is no middle ground.

[Anonymous No.6637905]

I stood sentry on the northern wall on the day when the first waves came. I was actually daydreaming about not being saddled with body armor and Kevlar when the yell came from the lookout tower. "Multiple contacts in the north field! 175 meters!" My head spun about to see the legions of people running straight for the compound at a full sprint. Falcons blared to rouse sleeping men from their bunks. Confused shouting and pointing brought more guns to my side of the wall as I planted a foot on the a parapet and strained to pull the charging handles and chamber the first round of the .50 cal. "150 meters!" the lookout yelled. The shift commander materialized behind me as I set my elevation swing on the gun. "You got enough rounds for this?" He asked."yeah, I've got eight belts"
"Good. pick your targets and don't waste rounds."
"125 meters! Here they come!" The lookout yelled one last time. I took hold of the grips the same way I'd done everyday this whole fucking summer long and hunched down to eye the sights on he masses growing larger in the sight picture. They were coming, raggedy clothes, half shaved heads and all. "Jesus, sir." I gasped. "What are they?"
The captain lowered his binoculars and spit. "The worst scum that could ever exist. Tumblr feminists" The shouts and chants that seemed like a low roar began to morph into words as they drew closer. A pink banner waved by the one at the head of the horde read: "Saint Caitlin Bleeds For All Of Us. #pronoun"
"OPEN FIRE!" The captain yelled.
I squeezed the thumb triggers and the 50 cal began to buck as it sent Fire down range. Hot rounds pierced the crowd, taking out two at a time. 100 rounds gone. Two hundred rounds gone, 300. "Chok Chok Chok Chok" the machine barked.By the time my barrel was smoking the numbers had dwindled to half. But I didn't let up. I manned my post. You should've seen them. They were... Animals. Cut off shorts and neck tattoos framed by internet logic and piercings. I dared not let off he triggers for a moment for fear of being overrun. I kept up the rate of fire as others changed their belts and resumed. I wanted to feel sorry for them and their misled causes but all I could feel was the recoil shaking by being. "Chok Chok Chok Chok" There were more shouts of alien languages all around but all I could hear was my gun. The targets between the left and right limits of my firing lane began to dwindle. Soon, there were no more standing targets advancing. And when the bolt fell upon an empty chamber, there was nothing left of the horde but silent bodies. The barrel belched smoke like a chimney. As fast as I could manage I opened the tray and fed another belt through. The captain patted me on the shoulder "that was some excellent shooting, son." He smiled. "Where did you learn to smoke tumblr fags like that?"
"/lit/ sir. I learned it on /lit/."
"Well, you keep it up and there's a retirement in oldfag country for you."
"Do you really think so?" I asked.
"Twinkie house."

[Anonymous No.6637937]

>>6637889
The point is that they can't beat him on the point of how lazy and incompetent the intellectual left has become, so they hit him at a weak spot that has nothing to do with what they're mad at him about. (ie. contemporary opinion that everyone who's anti-religion is only doing it for attention.)
>>6637896
Literally none of that was said in the post you were replying to. You sound ignorant.

[Anonymous No.6637952]

>>6637937
>Literally none of that was said in the post you were replying to

>>6637802
>none of the posters in this thread would disagree with him on god's nonexistence.

>>6637896
>absolute incredulity that any rational person could ever be theistic

[Anonymous No.6637953]

>>6637461
This is an incredibly shit post, I can't believed you thought this was worth not only saving, but reposting.

You made no arguments of any substance, just that "Hitchens was bad because he didn't actually do anything". That's not a criticism of any of his actual political positions, that's just a lazy and frankly dumb criticism

[Anonymous No.6637966]

>>6637357
HAHAHAHAHAAHHA OH GOD I CAN'T STOP BREATHING I'M LAUGHING SO HARD ABOUT THIS MEME YOU WON'T STOP POSTING IT JUST GETS FUNNIER EACH TIME PLEASE FORCE IT MORE AHAHAHAHAHAHAH PLEASE OP STOP TICKLING ME WITH THIS HILARIOUS FUCKING MEME YOU WON'T STOP FORCING LOLOLOLOL

[Anonymous No.6637969]

>>6637952
I said no one on /lit/ is authentically theistic. I didn't say this board was intelligent or rational.

[Anonymous No.6637977]

>>6637966
you jest but this was my literal reaction because i think it's fucking hilarious

[Anonymous No.6637978]

>>6637969
>I said no one on /lit/ is authentically theistic.

>>6637896
>incredulity that any rational person could ever be theistic

[Anonymous No.6637987]

>>6637977
Really? It was stupid the first time it was posted, and worst the next fifteen. It's forced to all hell.

[Anonymous No.6637988]

>>6637456
>So is the only way /lit/ can deal with this guys arguments through memes and shitposting?
Barely anyone on /lit/ has read Hitchens. They have him semantically associated with the so-called 'new-atheism', and as it's en vogue to wear this counterfeit-Christian mask, on /lit/ anyway, Hitchens' entire body of work needs to be condensed into a brimmed hat from reddit for convenient dismissal.

[The cats No.6637992]

>>6637978
>>>/pol/

[Anonymous No.6637991]

>>6637987
what can i say? forcing works

though i found it funny the first time

maybe you just don't have the same relationship to hitchens as i do

[Anonymous No.6637994]

>>6637988
/lit/ enjoys feeling "in" on intellectual jokes they don't even know are true.

It's embarrassing, and the mods won't even delete these unfunny troll threads.

[Anonymous No.6637998]

>>6637988
Am I the only one who's never read any of his athiest shit, but really like his Iraq war essays?

He had some of the best constructed and thought provoking arguments on the war

[Anonymous No.6637999]

>>6637991
I don't care for Hitchens at all, and if you find this funny then don't come on /lit/, because it's not funny at all. You're like a kid laughing at poop jokes to me.

[Anonymous No.6638014]

>>6637999
i agree. the internet is serious business, especially 4chan.

[Anonymous No.6638031]

>>6638014
>i'm an insufferable moron and if you aren't too then you're a moron

Nice logic, you're part of the reason I hardly ever browse /lit/. Bye.

[Anonymous No.6638039]

>>6637988
I read his book on the Greek/Turkish conflict in Cyprus, and it was actually very good. He analyses everything from the UN occupation of Famagusta to the the Ottoman empire with a great prose style for a journalist.

I'd be interested in reading the "Inequalities in Zimbabwe" book.

[Anonymous No.6638043]

>>6638031
kek

[Anonymous No.6638056]

>>6637357
Hitchens actual writing on religion betrayed a profound ignorance *of* religion and of the religious. His work is often a fine example of 'the strawman at novel length'.
Many of his criticisms of religious figures were nothing more than statements of incredulity;
"Mother Teresa must be a sham; no one can actually be that humble"
why not? because he couldn't imagine it to be true.

He was a popular writer doing what the best of them do - pretend to be an intellectual while writing twaddle.

[Anonymous No.6638057]

>Hitchens arrives at my door clad in full secular regalia
>crucifies me for owning a copy of the bible

HOW

[Anonymous No.6638070]

>>6637988
>counterfeit-Christian

they are getting pretty stale now

[Anonymous No.6638076]

>>6637969
>/int/
>insightful

lel, they are pretty much /pol/ jr.

[Anonymous No.6638081]

>>6637802
>none of the posters in this thread would disagree with him on god's nonexistence.

[Anonymous No.6638103]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W8-z30j8I8

[Anonymous No.6638119]

>>6637969

>/sci/ insightful and fun

kek

[Anonymous No.6638123]

>>6638103
>H O W D A R E Y O U

[Anonymous No.6638131]

>>6637969
translation from the pov of whoever made it

TOP boards I haven't spent any time on but seem cool to me
LEFT boards that intimidate me because I don't know much about the topics
RIGHT boards that I know a lot about the topics
BOTTOM boards that I've spent a lot of time on

[Anonymous No.6638182]

>>6638103
HOW DARE YOU

[Anonymous No.6638189]

>>6637365
>shit begins being flung around the auditorium, Hitchens begins crowd surfing
Kek

[Anonymous No.6638192]

>>6638103

lol, that how dare you woman is the one who made fun of a white van man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xu7hu5OOvE

the GOAT p. Hitch video above. He winds up for 3 minutes and then releases the lols at 3:10

[Anonymous No.6638196]

>>6638123
>>6638182
HOW DARE SHE HOW DARE HIM

[Anonymous No.6638202]

>>6638192
THE CUCK MAN OWEN HIMSELF

[Anonymous No.6638207]

>>6637953
>>implying he had positions
>>implying he wrote anything that a serious academic, historian, or journalist respected
>>implying you are nineteen years old

[Anonymous No.6638222]

>>6637357
Can somebody suggest me books about the impact catholic church on western civilization?

[Anonymous No.6638227]

>>6637802

[Anonymous No.6638229]

>>6638227
Yep, that looks like the average socialist.

[Anonymous No.6638240]

>>6638222
the bible
Nietzsche's's' work

[Anonymous No.6638260]

>>6637889
What's that you want to peg him while wearing a fedora?!?!

[Anonymous No.6638279]

>>6638192
>greatest hitchens video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hrg-jsyigMI

[Anonymous No.6638280]

>>6637802
>he dumped Socialism
wrong

[Anonymous No.6638297]

>>6638222
How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization by Thomas E. Woods

[Anonymous No.6638304]

>>6638279

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRc99Nh7Qgo

fuaaark, Will Self vs Peter Hitchens: when memes collide irl

[Anonymous No.6638444]

>>6637992
>>>/x/

[Anonymous No.6638484]

>>6638202
>THE CUCK MAN OWEN HIMSELF
lol. Owen actually recorded a communism song with Laurie Penny called 'twelve days of revolution':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1PGN_DChZs

[Anonymous No.6638545]

>>6637458
DARE

[Anonymous No.6638569]

>>6638304
#BasedWillSelf

[Anonymous No.6638640]

>>6638304

I can't smell anything but hot cunt after those ten minutes.