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/lit/ - Literature

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6584122 No.6584122 [Reply] [Original]

Just random thought, does this make sense, /lit/?

Alienation of friendship

During the child-stage, kids happen to play with one another because they happen to have the same toy, or something else very simplistic. They do not play with each other on the basis of their political ideologies, education, or social economic status. The older one gets, the more they try and become part of a particular group in society. Either the rich kids, the jazz fanatics, or anything else that sets a common ground. Often denominators for social behaviour are taste in music, humor, or even political views. If an adult is to meet with his childhood friends, a chance exists that he does not like everyone as he did as a child. In fact, it is his development towards more specific goals that alienates himself from friendship.

>> No.6584131

No, there's usually some more unnamable bond between people who were children as friends even if they have wildly different political opinions.

>> No.6584132

there are other factors, and personal development is not always intentional or conscious (more often that not I believe it may be involuntary), but you are broadly correct that we change as we grow older, and we outgrow old relationships due to personal changes in ourselves and our peers.

>> No.6584139

>>6584122
That sounds right but it also isn't sufficient

Like this anon mentioned
>>6584131
There are other things going on

For example, everyone experiencing this alienation means that those who were your close friends in the past are able to break down this barrier with you. They cant do this with anyone else (besides other childhood friends) so you will almost always have a certain bond with them.

Also you can put what you are saying in different, less depressing, terms.

Kids start off at roughly the same point, so they all roughly can relate to one another. Specifically they are still working on very basic parts of learning how to be human, such as how to be a friend. We all share this, roughly.

Once we get older we become more varied and specialized. You are right about this as well but you dont have to be pessimistic about it. We are doing exactly what we were doing when we were kids, its just back then everyone was facing similar challenges and were interested in similar things.

Also, would you rather have it be the opposite? Where you actively go out to be friends with people that you arent interested in? That seems far more lonely, to have many friends you share nothing with rather than have a few friends you share many things with.

>> No.6584140

>>6584131
>be 11

>choose secondary school all my friends are going to

>get to secondary school

>the kids who used to be my friends stop hanging out with me

>Start hanging out with a kid who just happens to pick on me frequently

>get bullied by people who you thought were your best friends from the ages of 5-11

Let's just say that your experiences are not universal.

>> No.6584147

>>6584140
He was responding to the OP who was talking about having positive childhood friendships

>> No.6584158

>>6584139

OP here, I agree with your post.

Kids = more common ground (simple desires) = friendship. Adults = specialization, variety = less friendship.

It sounds pessimistic yet we are able to derive that quanitity does not always overrule quality, and that the quality of adult friendships are something much more worthy, based on intellectual grounds.

>> No.6584164

>>6584147
The point I am trying to make is that I do not feel any particular bond to any of my childhood friends, and that this sensation of connectedness is not universal.

I sought to relay through my own heuristic experience precisely how there is most certainly not a mystical unnameable bond between me and my oldest companions.

In fact, one or two of them I'd personally build the scaffold from which to hang them.

>> No.6584187

>>6584158
Exactly, and of course you desire to find a place where there are lots of people just like you, just like when you were a child. If they were your age and sex, you probably could be friends with a kid at the age of 8 wherever you went.

Now of course its difficult to find someone who isnt a complete asshole and shares your interests. Thankfully as adults though we have the means to find those people.

>> No.6584471

>>6584122
>ideologies
peeyourr