John Green cringe thread, I'll start "y'all smoke for fun i smoke to die" Seriously who actually speaks like this?

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Anonymous Mon May 18 13:26:13 2015 No.6556977 [DELETED]

John Green cringe thread, I'll start
"y'all smoke for fun i smoke to die"
Seriously who actually speaks like this?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 13:31:19 2015 No.6556994 Obnoxious teens, which if I'm not mistaken is the center focus of his writing.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 13:56:39 2015 No.6557081 >group therapist: "What are you afraid of?" >teenage girl "Oblivion." I laughed my ass of tbh. No teenage girl talks like this unless they have some kind of personality disorder.

Anonymous Mon May 18 14:00:10 2015 No.6557095

>>6556977
Why do you make the same John Green shitposts everyday if you like him so much?

Who gives a fuck if you enjoy low brow teen fiction. Looking for Alaska was actually really good YA.

How insecure are you that you have to hide behind lies on a fucking anonymous website?

I fucking swear some people should have been aborted.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 14:01:14 2015 No.6557102 >>6557081 In reality >group therapist "What are you afraid of?" >teenage girl "That I'm not pretty enough for this boy to like me."

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 17:58:04 2015 No.6558297 >>6557095 shoo shoo john

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 18:15:20 2015 No.6558353 >>6557095 leave our midst, john

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 18:36:25 2015 No.6558438 File: 243 KB, 1328x642, JohnGreenLit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:21:48 2015 No.6558803 >>6557081 It was Augustus who said "oblivion" ya dolt.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:23:15 2015 No.6558809 >>6557095 calm down John it's just banter take it like a man. Tao did.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:23:59 2015 No.6558813 >>6557095 g2bed john

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:27:43 2015 No.6558842 File: 47 KB, 500x500, costanza.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558438 That's actually hilarious.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:33:02 2015 No.6558866 >>6558438 its a bit quirky but it's not that bad. I kind of enjoyed reading it. Its YA, we shouldn't be putting it up to standards of classic literature.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:35:21 2015 No.6558874 >>6558438 I'm having trouble believing he actually decided it was a good idea to publish that in a novel

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:37:04 2015 No.6558881 >>6557081 She was talking about the game. Couldn't beat Mannimarco without console commands, which we all know are for casuals.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:38:17 2015 No.6558888 How do you justify smoking? When people ask me i say slow suicide or bc it makes me look cool.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:38:29 2015 No.6558889 >>6558881 Doesn't he just straight up die when you walk up to him?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:42:31 2015 No.6558899 >>6558889 She's stupid and regularly leveled up her character.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:45:04 2015 No.6558905 >>6557095 John c'mon buddy we're just joshing ya

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:49:11 2015 No.6558921 >>6557095 'Tis but a joke, John. You can't expect people to leave you alone when you write like Ayn Rand going through adolescence.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:51:26 2015 No.6558930 File: 15 KB, 210x210, fuck 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558438 I can hear their voices in my head.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 20:52:47 2015 No.6558933 File: 338 KB, 1237x867, 1431825593955.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6557095 Lmao your ideals are a spook I do what I want

Anonymous Mon May 18 20:56:31 2015 No.6558948

>Why do people write YA?
>Do you have to believe that being a teenager is in some way sublime?
>Do you have to be cynical about adulthood?
>Do you have to have extra sympathy for young people?
>If Green lived in ancient Athens would he get the hemlock?
>Am I implying?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:12:11 2015 No.6559016 I like to watch the world history crash course videos while drunk tbh

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:18:38 2015 No.6559036 Therapist: What are you most afraid of? Teenage girl: Lol um... nothing. Awkward.

Anonymous Mon May 18 21:23:59 2015 No.6559052 [DELETED]

This one is terrific:

>“Gus: "It tastes like..."
Me: "Food."
>Gus: "Yes, precisely. It tastes like food, excellently prepared. But it does not taste, how do I put this delicately...?"
>Me: "It does not taste like God Himself cooked heaven into a series of five dishes which were then served to you accompanied by several luminous balls of fermented, bubbly plasma while actual and literal flower petals floated down around your canal-side dinner table."
>Gus: "Nicely phrased."
>Gus's father: "Our children are weird."
>My dad: "Nicely phrased.”

You can just imagine what it's like to be a father whose teenager daughter is a Green fan and is now trying to have these quirky dialogues all the time and you're not sure how to act because you want hell to stop but you also don't want to ruin her self-confidence.

This one is characteristic of people like him:

>“Worldview" is not based on books; it is an internal form, which at times in a person with little education is expressed much more brightly, than in some other "intellectual" or scientist.”

Anonymous Mon May 18 21:25:44 2015 No.6559061

This one is terrific:

>“Gus: "It tastes like..."
>Me: "Food."
>Gus: "Yes, precisely. It tastes like food, excellently prepared. But it does not taste, how do I put this delicately...?"
>Me: "It does not taste like God Himself cooked heaven into a series of five dishes which were then served to you accompanied by several luminous balls of fermented, bubbly plasma while actual and literal flower petals floated down around your canal-side dinner table."
>Gus: "Nicely phrased."
>Gus's father: "Our children are weird."
>My dad: "Nicely phrased.”

You can just imagine what it's like to be a father whose teenager daughter is a Green fan and is now trying to have these quirky dialogues all the time and you're not sure how to act because you want her to stop but you also don't want to ruin her self-confidence.

This one is characteristic of people like him:

>“Worldview" is not based on books; it is an internal form, which at times in a person with little education is expressed much more brightly, than in some other "intellectual" or scientist.”

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:29:32 2015 No.6559085 >>6559061 who would even write this

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:31:40 2015 No.6559094 >>6558803 you revealed you actually read it anon you fool! what a waste of time!

Anonymous Mon May 18 21:40:34 2015 No.6559134

>>6558438
I remember my friends and I used to talk like that over AIM when I was younger. It sounds terrible looking back, but that's what I sounded like, and a lot of other people. That's probably why it appeals. It's actually what his audience sounds like for a large part.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:44:03 2015 No.6559146 >>6558933 This is cancer in its purest form

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:44:21 2015 No.6559150 >>6558948 >>If Green lived in ancient Athens would he get the hemlock? He'd get the boipvssi

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:50:21 2015 No.6559173 File: 111 KB, 1067x800, kurd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6559146 >doing what you want is cancer what else should i be ideology

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:52:09 2015 No.6559181 >>6557081 To be fair, if I were at a group therapy session, I may very well answer exactly that, but then I'd bust up laughing. That'd be a great answer were she joking.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 21:54:40 2015 No.6559190 >>6558921 Underrated post.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:00:40 2015 No.6559216 >>6559150 Something about the vocalic v combined with the i's substituting the y's just made me lose my shit. Like it's an ancient Greek pastry or something. My God I make myself laugh.

Muck J.J. Bulligan !!ryE2gEjGbpu Mon May 18 22:09:07 2015 No.6559252
File: 11 KB, 498x38, Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 11.46.43 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6556977
>tfw you speak like this
>>6557081
clearly you have never actually spoken with teenage girls, because they do say things like this, especially the kind that goes to group therapy

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:15:21 2015 No.6559279 File: 13 KB, 235x214, 1431468038821.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558888 I avoid talking to other people so I never have to deal with that question nice get though

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:16:22 2015 No.6559283 >>6559134 There's no reason to feel ashamed. This is a totally normal conversation to have. There's just no reason why it should be in a book about teenagers with cancer. It's ludicrous filler

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:16:45 2015 No.6559286 >>6558888 Dopamine feels good.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:18:45 2015 No.6559293 File: 50 KB, 547x471, 1428929604891.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >tfw greenposting is /lit/'s baneposting This is our big meme, it's going to go mainstream guys!

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:20:21 2015 No.6559302 >>6559293 stirnerposting is the true /lit/ meme, stop flattering yourself OP

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:21:46 2015 No.6559306 >>6559293 it already did faggot http://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/2lp5mp/lit_hates_john_green/

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:23:42 2015 No.6559317 Is John Green the Christopher Nolan of books?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:23:51 2015 No.6559319 https://youtu.be/B3u4EFTwprM The first minute.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:24:24 2015 No.6559322 >>6559302 Also Joyceposting, a-and Pineconeposting, even DFWposting too!

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:25:08 2015 No.6559326 >>6559319 >great sitcom lost it

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:25:16 2015 No.6559327 >>6558438 >last quote on first post wtf has he ever met a teenager

Anonymous Mon May 18 22:25:20 2015 No.6559329

>>6558888
Just say because you can't handle your anxiety, you sperg. Lol. If someone said "it makes me look cool" I would hate them so much. People also aren't being comfortable around people with problems so the slow suicide isn't best but understandable thing to say.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:25:26 2015 No.6559330 File: 357 KB, 449x401, 1410298972714.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6559306 >browsing reddit >ever

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:26:27 2015 No.6559335 >>6559330 whats wrong with browsing reddit?

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:27:23 2015 No.6559341 >>6559330 gotta keep an eye on the normies to figure out why they keep coming here.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:27:27 2015 No.6559342 File: 135 KB, 561x776, 1412368149190.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6559335

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:27:33 2015 No.6559343 >>6559335 nothing man. keep being yourself.

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:30:52 2015 No.6559359 I could see someone saying that as a joke. Why must you take it so seriously?

Anonymous Mon May 18 22:32:04 2015 No.6559365

"Pancakes? Can I eat them for dinner?" I asked.
"Oh, dear, you really shouldn't do that," Mom said. "They're a breakfast food, which means that you're supposed to eat them in the morning."
"Why? That doesn't seem right. Shouldn't we be able to eat them whenever we want to? It doesn't make any sense that we limit ourselves so arbitrarily when it comes to food."
"You've got to pick your battles in life, Wattaga. I mean, if this is one that you're inclined to be passionate about, and really fight for, I guess I'll stand behind you; but you should think—"
"Let me stop you there, Mom. I don't appreciate the patronizing tone. I am a resilient young woman, full of hopes and dreams that stretch beyond your feeble imagination, which has been worn down by the drudgery of conventional life. You're so small and empty. God, Mom, you won't even fight for the liberation of pancakes! You don't see how harmful it is that we place ourselves within these strictures—these boundaries of dull normality. I'm not normal, Mom. I, Wattaga Levinburch, am anything but normal, or average, which is the same thing as being lifeless. Here's what I'm gonna do, with or without your support: break the paradigm of food categories, eliminate injustice! One day, we'll be able to eat more freely, and you'll have me to thank . . . "
"Okay, Wattaga. I'm with you. I'll help you through this fight."
"Thanks. By the way, I'm pregnant with Jerome's baby, but I'm probably gonna have an abortion. If I'm going to really change this country's eating habits, I'll have to avoid all distractions."
"Sure, honey."

>>	Anonymous Mon May 18 22:46:48 2015 No.6559427 >>6558438 I read it in George's voice before I noticed the second post. And really that isn't a bad thing since Seinfeld is better than a good bit of contemporary lit.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 00:25:00 2015 No.6559740 >>6559365 nice

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 00:27:15 2015 No.6559753 >>6559061 you have a teenage daughter wtf are you doing on 4chjn

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 02:53:35 2015 No.6560192 I saw the trailer for the movie, and all the dialogue, every single thing anyone said was a tryhard cringefest. If that's any indication of how the book is, then la-di-da Mr. Green.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 03:00:12 2015 No.6560204 >>6559061 I don't see the issue. I'd just call her a pleb and tell her to read some real books.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 03:18:50 2015 No.6560253 File: 135 KB, 496x700, JCVtUTl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6557102

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 04:23:54 2015 No.6560391 "I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things" John Green is not in the business of accepting the opposite of the elements that occupy the part of his brain dealing with things he desires.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 04:40:56 2015 No.6560423 >>6560253 I want /r9k/ to leave

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 04:48:53 2015 No.6560439 >>6558438 That part is so bad on so many levels. :( Also idk, but I've been only "afraid to fall and to lose" when I was a kid/teeager tbh. Nowadays I couldn't care less cause I know I'll survive anyway.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 04:53:03 2015 No.6560446 >>6558881 >>6558899 >>6558889 kek

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 04:58:02 2015 No.6560455 File: 59 KB, 384x461, 1429696196468-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558933 Expect that Marx destroyed your master in his critique. https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1845/german-ideology/ch03d.htm

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 04:59:24 2015 No.6560458 >>6559322 >Joyceposting Man, when was the last time someone said "arseful of farts"? It's been too long

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 05:04:11 2015 No.6560465 >>6560455 >Expect Typical dumb socialist scum.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 05:15:14 2015 No.6560483 >>6559319 if his ego didn't get in the way of almost everything he says or tries to do he'd be a decent cat

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 05:18:42 2015 No.6560489 >>6560483 why do people think he has a massive ego is there any evidence for that

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 05:31:31 2015 No.6560505 File: 40 KB, 563x406, 08c8964cd4fd63550f52840f7649c5fa240b03b3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >Shits on Aristotle whenever he can >Nothing but praise for Thomas Aquinas ...?

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 05:35:30 2015 No.6560507 >>6560489 he is a 37 year old author of children stories creating 15 minute long history lesson videos on YouTube. what do you mean "why"

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 05:43:07 2015 No.6560515 >>6560507 he wants to educate children seems pretty normal he just seems like an overly anxious but pretty normal dude

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 08:49:53 2015 No.6560839 >>6560455 Marx was a retard who spent more time around dusty books than people while writing about the nature of the latter.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 09:39:38 2015 No.6560992 Fun story, my sister went to a party once, and when she went out for a fag, a girl came up to her and said that exact sentence. She didn't smoke for the rest of the night.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 09:43:04 2015 No.6561003 Paper Towns > Looking for Alaska > An Abundance of Katherines > The Fault in Our Stars

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 09:55:27 2015 No.6561034 File: 51 KB, 670x472, 1430622799171.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558438

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 10:12:48 2015 No.6561066 >>6560992 Post her dirty panties

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 11:34:41 2015 No.6561219 >>6561003 how many hours of reading is that for shame

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 11:41:17 2015 No.6561244 >>6561219 Couldn't be more than 24 hours all up.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 11:56:30 2015 No.6561284 >>6558888 >needing to justify it Same reason why I read books, hardly ever sleep, avoid emotional connection, don't eat my vegetables and don't exercise. It feels good and I don't care.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 11:57:29 2015 No.6561286 >>6559365 >Wattaga Levinburch ????????????

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 11:58:40 2015 No.6561290 >>6558888 i started young and now i'm too weak to quit

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 12:00:19 2015 No.6561299 >>6561003 i agree >>6561219 i was a silly pleb teenager once myself y'know

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 12:36:33 2015 No.6561391 >>6560505 Where does he praise Aquinas?

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 12:38:18 2015 No.6561396 >>6556977 what the hell is this guy's obsession with Amsterdam? ive been there and its shit, by far the worst european capital

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 18:38:01 2015 No.6562824 >>6561219 john green books read ridiculously fast

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 18:41:00 2015 No.6562841 >>6562824 fuck you you bumping fuck

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 18:44:37 2015 No.6562858 >>6562841 my b

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 19:24:42 2015 No.6562997 >>6560455 >initiate major free market reforms >call it communism >they produce prosperity, as expected >LOL I TOLD YOU GUYS COMMUNISM WORKED

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 19:28:46 2015 No.6563015 >>6558438 The second paragraph is gay as fuck, but the breakfast conversation is neat. It's actually profound by teenager standards. Fite me irl.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 19:36:42 2015 No.6563054 >>6558438 Green, John. A complete nonentity, means absolutely nothing to me. Even worse than Camus.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 19:53:55 2015 No.6563122 >>6556977 >"y'all smoke for fun i smoke to die" fuckin lol I think the stupidest one is "Yo, I fell in love the same way everyone falls asleep. Quickly, and then all at once."

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 19:59:38 2015 No.6563140 File: 93 KB, 500x641, 1410655175263.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6560423

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:31:58 2015 No.6563266 >>6561396 Worst European Capital is Lisbon

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:34:55 2015 No.6563277 >>6563015 we don't need to fight, you are honestly just a dumb person if you think that's profound.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:38:12 2015 No.6563289 >>6563277 >by teenager standards

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:41:04 2015 No.6563301 File: 640 KB, 1958x1442, rimbaud.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6563289 >by teenager standards

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:41:46 2015 No.6563303 >>6563289 you must have been a dumb teenager, too. saying that some foods are socially constructed as breakfast is not profound or even interesting. stop being stupid.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:44:26 2015 No.6563317 >>6559283 I guess what I was saying was it was age appropriate filler. It is normal, but when people look back on things like that, it feels awkward.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 20:49:32 2015 No.6563344 There isn't a huge amount wrong with liking this shit if you're like fifteen or so: Teenagers will be plebs after all. People in their twenties fawning over it is laughable though

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 21:43:05 2015 No.6563550 >>6561286 It's a ridiculous made-up (pretentious) name, similar to John Green's characters'.

>>	Anonymous Tue May 19 22:08:21 2015 No.6563666 >>6561396 What's so bad about Amsterdam?

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 09:02:36 2015 No.6565531 >>6563666 its full of degenerates

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 09:13:07 2015 No.6565554 >>6563666 its not in england

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 09:24:25 2015 No.6565576 >>6563666 it sounds like assterdam and we can't have that

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 09:38:11 2015 No.6565606 >>6565554 >>6565576 kekd >>6563666 nothing, but ónce youve been to rotterdam amster kinda blows in comparison

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 09:52:51 2015 No.6565632 >>6563266 >Poortugal

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 10:36:36 2015 No.6565758 >>6560505 YOU MAKE THIS POST EVERY FUCKING THREAD WITH THE EXACT SAME IMAGE GET OUT

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 11:03:22 2015 No.6565827 >>6565606 >rotterdam >good Literally the anus of the Netherlands filled with the worst people of the country.

Anonymous Wed May 20 11:10:11 2015 No.6565844

>>6563301
Rimbaud was a pretentious fuck who thought he'd become a great writer by roving around yurop while taking it up the ass and getting shitfaced every day. Which was really just a rationalization for rebelling against mommy, who had to bail him out when it got to be too much for him to handle. Good poems though.

Maybe Josh Green would be more talented if he spent his teenage years getting reckt via drugs and anal?

Anonymous Wed May 20 11:17:53 2015 No.6565870

>>6565844
Rimbaud was literally the embodiment of the literally life, the archetype of the bohemian and changed poetry forever with a few works he wrote as a teen, only to casually dismiss it and become an arms smuggler in places where no white man had been before.

He was about that life, no pretension necessary.

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 11:20:51 2015 No.6565881 >>6565606 >rotterdam fucking kakkerlak

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 11:34:03 2015 No.6565930 File: 254 KB, 963x1280, theydontthinkitbelikeitisbutitdo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6565870 >was literally the embodiment of the literally

>>	Anonymous Wed May 20 12:17:18 2015 No.6566059 >>6558438 I remember this thread and was hoping someone screencapped this. saved.

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/lit/ - Literature