seeking advice on publishing this

[soon to be author? No.6518849]

so i am bassically seeking advice on a book i want to publish, i have a few chapters pre written (first draft) and i am seeking validation on wether or not this book idea is worthy of going all the way.

i will post the first chapter based on feedback of the summary of the book.

please forgive any typos,

Red, white, and chaos is a book centered around a science/political fiction world where unbeknownst to the world at large since the very first president of america the founding fathers had intiated the "full father program". the purpose of this program was to have each and every president sire an illigitement child. the reason for this was if a president was unable to be elected or one should be needed emediatly then there would be candidates that were direct decendants of all of the presidents who had served regardless of wether orr not they were impeached, assasinated, or vice presidents before becoming president for various reasons.

this program has existed through out the ages up untill the 21st century when the 47th president "Trandon", used laws he passed in secret to become the first dictator president as well as the last president. years passed with him as the tyranical ruler of what was once the untied states of america. now present day Trandon has banned any reference propaganda or other material associated with the old usa. there are multiple laws curfews and rules he has set in motion. any violation of these laws are met with severe consequences.
the story begins with the main character nick, who is about to be executed in public for violating one the most extreme laws, he had on the combination of red white and blue in the form of a bracelet his mom gave him before dissapearing leaving him to fend for himself on the streets of newyork city. the offical seemingly pulled the trigger ending his life but he woke up unharmed in a secret location that he found out was the full father center. over the next months he learned many things about himslef. the fullfathers, trandon, and the outside world.

then the final shocker is revealed when he is told that he himslef is not only a fullfather but one of the great 5 decendants of the best presidents that ever lived.

[Anonymous No.6518891]

Not the worst synopsis I've ever read. Change that title, though. It's dumb.

[soon to be author? No.6518903]

>>6518891
yeah, i know the title is weird, but i cant really think of a new one. i think i will have to go into a sabbatical to come up with a new one.

[Anonymous No.6518920]

>Red White and Chaos
pfffffft hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.6518925]

>>6518849
>then the final shocker is revealed when he is told that he himslef is not only a fullfather but one of the great 5 decendants of the best presidents that ever lived.

If you're going to use this synopsis as part of a query, please delete or heavily edit this part. It sounds completely retarded with the wording you're using now.

Also don't query it until you finish writing the whole thing, which you should since this sounds like the kind of thing lots of people would eat up, even if I'd never read it personally.

[soon to be author? No.6518926]

>>6518920
yeah, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ha.

[soon to be author? No.6518932]

chapter 1
Death of a Father

"10422" AKA, Nick Thresher sat at a bench his back rigid and palms sweating. their were many things he had to worry and be afraid of in the world he lived in. Wars, new laws, T.R.D.'s harassing him, being arrested for homelessness, and many more. However, today he was worried about a more imminent threat that surely would not end well for him. Today, in this moment, He was most concerned about the gun that was pointed at his forehead.

It was a standard issue T.R.D. side arm and as such had plenty of killing power behind its bullets. He had seen plenty of others dispatched by it before. usually over trivial things that were punishable by immediate execution. He was well aware of its deadly nature. mostly because T.R.D.'s made it their life mission to boast about it. A 15 bullet magazine. this magazine was filled with 3 millimeter hollow point explosive bullets. They could and would create a cavity in whatever it shot at.

Knowing what was pointed at him, Nick suddenly realized with fear that he had violated one of the most enforced rules instituted by Trandon. Nick had violated the "Patriot Clothing Act". P.C.A. for short. rule number 5 section 2 of the "Trandon Code Of Laws".

"Rule #5 Section 2, anyone who is caught wearing at the same time, or bearing anything that has the following colors listed shall be immediately sentenced to life in imprisonment, and or Executed on scene or off scene at the arresting T.R.D.'s discretion. Red,White, and Blue."

To someone who was not from this country it would seem like a lot to remember. however to someone who grew up in the country it was very easy to remember all of the laws and rules that made up the "Trandon Code Of Laws". It was easy because they were posted on literally every building that was standing (as was the law).

he was wearing a rubber bracelet around his wrist. The problem was not the bracelet its self, but rather the colors of the bracelet. Red, white, and blue. By them selves they were meaningless. Together they were a sign of freedom. A sign of equality. A sign of hope.

[soon to be author? No.6518936]

And freedom, equality, and hope were words that president, sorry excuse me. the proper term is Lord, Trandon did not like. Since he had overthrown the old ways of American government anything to do with the old ways of America where considered illegal and citizens in possession of such things could be thrown in jail with life sentences or killed on site. The soldier of Trandon or TRD’s as Trandon called them. Was holding a gun to Nicks head with his right hand while using his left hand to un-holster his numeral scanner.

“citizen, present numeric id or you will be shot”, said the TRD whose name tag read Kent. Nick slowly reached over and slid the bracelet off his hand while turning the bottom of his wrist towards the TRD Kent. On his wrist was tattooed in black ink his numeric id as well as his Trandon given last name, 10422.

Nick waited while the TRD Kent was pointed the Numeric Scanner at his id. He saw a red line two red left to right with tow lines top to bottom in the shape of a "X" appear in the middle of his id numerals. They flashed twice and then once more while at the same time Nick heard a 3 tone beep come from the Numeric Scanner. Nick then put his hands in his lap and waited while the TRD Kent Read his C.R. or Citizen Record on the screen of the Numeric Scanner.

“Citizen Nick 10422, also know as Nick Thresher in home life. You have been found guilty of violating Trandon Law #177-6. You have been found in possession of illegal pre Trandon contraband. How do you plead to these charges citizen 10422?”, asked TRD Kent.

Nick took a deep Breath and said, “not guilty”. The TRD took a deep breath and sighed. “Then Following the Trandon Code of Laws, you are to be sentenced to death immediately. Do you have any final words citizen 10422?”.

Nick took a deep breath stood up and looked out at the small crowd of citizens who had stopped to watch. He looked down at his bracelet and placed his right arm across his heart and paused to think,“ I'm going to die in the next 60 seconds. I'm going to die and nothing in the world can change that. No one will miss me and the world will go on. And yet I feel happy. Nick turned and faced his body towards the TRD and the TRD positioned his gun barrel between Nicks eyebrows and flicked the safety off with his thumb.

[soon to be author? No.6518939]

Nick crossed his eyes and looked at the last thing he was ever going to see the gun barrel held rigidly pointed at his forehead. But then he saw something else. In the reflection of the barrel he saw a young man just 15 years of age, standing in front a crowd of people about to make the ultimate sacrifice for his country. Or what was left of it. This sacrifice was not for The Kingdom of Trandon. This sacrifice was for the United States of America. He saw in the reflection all the people who looked at this scene calm on the outside but raging on the inside wishing they could help and be free.

Nick looked past the TRD’s gun barrel and looked straight into his eyes while smiling. Nick then took in a deep breath and in a loud enough voice for the people around them both watching said the last words he ever would.

”I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”.
-BANG-

***********************************************************
Voices, I heard voices but remembered nothing. Where was I? why did my head hurt? I heard the beeping of medical equipment. And the steady buzz of florescent lights. I slowly opened my eyes a slight amount and saw that I was sitting in what appeared to be a hospital room except there where no windows or natural lights. And the ceiling looked like it was tin roofing panels the ones with a wave pattern in them.

I listened harder for clues as to where I was. I thought that I heard,,,, traffic? Where we underground somehow? I studied the room harder and it dawned on me. I was in a shipping container. The really big ones like you see on cargo ships. Why was I hear though? What happened to me the last thing I remember was……

[Anonymous No.6518945]

>>6518932

[soon to be author? No.6518948]

oh yeah, getting shot in the forehead by a TRD’s side arm. It all came flooding back. Why did I live? Why couldn't one thing I tried go the way I planned. I opened my eyes wider to see if I was handcuffed or strapped to the hospital bed which was not very comfortable. It looked old like it was foraged from an abandoned hospital. I looked towards my wrists and saw that I was not handcuffed.

My bracelet was gone. MY BRACELET WAS GONE! Where was it at I can’t lose it it was all I had. I heard the machine standing to the left of the bed beep faster in tune with my own pulse which thanks to the bullet I could definitely feel in my forehead. Opening my eyes all the way I looked around the room once more to get a fix of my surroundings. The door to the room was open and I could see more people walking by and talking calmly outside my room.

I sat up and threw my legs off the side of the bed. Cautiously standing up so that the bed wouldn't make noise. I waited before moving to see if anyone had heard me.

Slowly I began walking towards the door but I felt a sharp pain tear through my wrist and almost yelled out in pain. I looked down quickly to see a needle hanging halfway out of my vein with blood slowly forming a drop around it. I pulled the needle out slowly and disconnected the pulse thing from my finger. As soon as I squeezed it to remove it though a loud alarm sounded from inside my room.

And I heard voices and then slow footsteps come closer to the door. Quickly looking around for a hiding place I stood behind a medical cabinet on the left side of the door. The foot steps where getting closer. I felt my heart pounding in my swollen forehead faster and faster. A tall Caucasian man wearing a white t-shirt and black cargo pants walked into the room glanced right at me and kept walking across the room till he was in front of a chair which he calmly sat down in.

he looked at me for a few moments in silence and then said, “why don’t you calm your self and sit down?” while pointing to the chair across the room from him but right next to me. he spoke calmly, “we have a lot to discuss Nick Thresher." I noticed his name tag had a large "1" on it while underneath it said, "Washington". it couldn't be could it could he be THE, Washington? I thought to myself do they know my secret? do they know who I am? What, I am?

[soon to be author? No.6518952]

"we know who and what you are Nick, and to dispel any doubt you may have we are not part of Trandons system, nor do we have anything to do with it. to the very contrary in fact. we have been known by many names, peacekeepers, revolutionaries, anarchists, legion. you know us by another name though, The Fathers. I am one of the full fathers Nick. and so are you. I wear the number one and the name of Washington because I am a direct descendant of my sir name. I am the last remaining descendant of Washington."

"and you Nick, are all that remains of the direct blood line of one of the greatest fathers, you Nick thresher 10422. are the 35th full father. so tell me Nick thresher, or should I use use your birth name and not your forged name, tell me Nick Kennedy, whose side are you on? the fathers, or Trandons?

[soon to be author? No.6518958]

that's chapter one as it currently stands. i have been working on expanding it. my goal is a minimum of ten pages per chapter.

[Anonymous No.6518987]

>>6518958
It sounds like ultra-generic YA shite. Which is a good thing if you like money since this is what sells.

I'd say write it. /lit/ will call you a hack and hate you but this is the sort of thing that gets published and will probably get a movie deal with relative ease.

As far as literary value goes it's worthless but you can always write something good later once you've gotten rich off shit like this.

[soon to be author? No.6519014]

>>6518987
i honestly would much rather draw it as a comic/manga. as i think it would be more interesting and captivating that way. but yeah i know it sounds generic but whatevs.

[Anonymous No.6519039]

>>6519014
Don't do that. Write it. YA fiction books are where the money is these days.

Once it gets published you can always get some fag to draw a comic adaptation or spinoff for you and make even more money.

And when I say it's generic and shit, I'm not trying to discourage you at all. It'll sell exactly because it's shit so writing shit is a good thing. You either write shit and get rich or write something of value and most likely stay unpublished, unread, and unpaid.

[soon to be author? No.6519055]

>>6519039
when i said i would much rather draw it as a comic let me rephrase that, this is the order of events i desire,

write the books 9 books 3 trillogies,

make the manga,

produce the anime/action cartoon,

movies.

retain full controll over all of them so that it doesnt get dumbed down at all ever.

ie teentitans go (shudder) eragon the last airbender. ect,

maximum profit.

[Anonymous No.6519075]

>>6519055
There's nothing to dumb down though. This has like... 0 depth as it is.

Anyway, stop wasting your time on posting about it, and just fucking do it already. This has a very good chance of making you rich.