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/lit/ - Literature

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6437253 No.6437253 [Reply] [Original]

Write a kafkaesque story in one sentence.

>> No.6437259

>>6437253
baby jews for sale; never born

>> No.6437276

You are allowed to ask the government for the FBI files on you, but if there actually is something in those files you are no longer allowed to.

>> No.6437287

"I hope I will make it in time for the funeral," he thought, in response to being buried alive.

>> No.6437311

>>6437253
"Second degree murder, but I planned it."

>> No.6437319

Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

>> No.6437325

>>6437253
You work at a job to make money, to pay to live on a rock in space.

>> No.6437330
File: 28 KB, 414x977, kalfkaesque.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6437330

>Error: Our system thinks your post is spam. Please reformat and try again.

>> No.6437332

LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>> No.6437334

"We don't want to hire someone who wants to work here for the money."

>> No.6437340

The last door on room sat in a man and herd a nuts at the dearth.

>> No.6437347

>>6437325
I like this one

>> No.6437360
File: 51 KB, 510x471, hot sweat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6437360

>>6437334
nice one

>> No.6437370

>>6437334
this is good

>> No.6437374

>>6437253
The thunder indoors won't stop till half past elevensies.

>> No.6437376

He slid his safety complaint under the human rights office door and hurried off to get back to his post before break was up.

>> No.6437383

>>6437253
Kafka wrote a novel, and then he burned it.

>> No.6437390

Nothing I do will work to appease /lit/

>> No.6437393

>>6437383
Kafka burned a novel and then he wrote it.

>> No.6437394

Her head rose from the waters as her heart sank.

>> No.6437398

>>6437393
Novel burned a Kafka, and then he wrote it

>> No.6437404

>>6437253
"...That being said, your reports are poorly written, without any real direction or reason, or rhyme and so on, you know, so we're going to have to let you go and, well, and-- you know, I hope you are writing this down because I expect it to be in your next report."

>> No.6437405

>>6437398
Novel wrote a Kafka, and then Kafka burned it.

>> No.6437413

After a year and a half of sixty hour work weeks, I'd finally been promoted from an unpaid intern to a full-time co-op, also unpaid.

>> No.6437420
File: 20 KB, 600x454, 1406043348317.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6437420

>>6437259

>> No.6437423

FFVI

get it

xD

>> No.6437473

At precisely 23:17:05 on April 21, 2015, Kafka posted a thread on /lit/ from his broken typewriter.

>> No.6438299

Daily reminder that if you aren't an INFP you won't ever understand Kafka's anxiety.

>> No.6438301

"Why are the birds chirping so late at night?" The man asked himself.
"I don't know." He replied, before shooting himself in the head.

>> No.6438304

>>6437253
"Freud was right about everything."

>> No.6438308

"Please no meat touching, ma'am."

>> No.6438310

>>6438299
I am INTJ, tell me.

>> No.6438311

>>6437473

gg

>> No.6438316

>>6438310
I can't, I'm sorry.

>> No.6438389

>>6437253
Vaan stormy night, Franz Kafka avoke from a moonlit maelstrom av horror to find that he had been transmuted into a vaampire!

>> No.6439170

>>6437319
http://youtu.be/PA4-aLB1uEY

>> No.6439181

>>6438299
I'm INTP, is that close enough

>tfw no feels

>> No.6439214

>>6437405
Burned a novel Kafka, then Kafka and it wrote.

>> No.6439231

I walked into work today for the final time only to find the boss dead on the floor and a man pointing a gun at me.

>> No.6439242

Why won't this thing come off me.

>> No.6439267

I walked along the walkway to drink a drink at the bar but the workers were working so I had to go round the other alternative route; I then fell down the chute and slid down a slide which took me by surprise.

>i don't really know what kafkaesque means

>> No.6439281

You go to the city to see the law. Upon arrival outside the building, there is a guard who says "You may not pass without permission", you notice that the door is open, but it closed enough for you to not see anything (the law).

You point out that you can easily go into the building, and the guard agrees. Rather than be disagreeable, however, you decide to wait until you have permission.

You wait for many years, and when you're an old, shriveled wreck, you get yourself to ask:

"During all the years I've waited here, no-one else has tried to pass in to see the law, why is this?",
and the guard answers:

"It is true that no-one else has passed here, that is because this door was always meant solely for you, but now, it is closed forever".

He then procceeds to close the door and calmly walk away.

>> No.6439283

>>6439214
Wrote it Kafka, Novel burned a

>> No.6439288

>>6438299
>INFP
>putting any sort of faith or stock in a system of 16 "types", so arrived at from an arbitrary dichotomization / the reduction to simple binaries (inner/outer) of all officially recognized spheres of human social life

>> No.6439289

K wondered if he had offended his landlady earlier as he was being dragged off to the execution room.

>> No.6439299

"You try to simply things in shorter forms; forms where they lose half their meaning but your meaning is there in it's entirety."

>> No.6439306

Muhammad was a turk working in Germany. Each time he built a Volkswagen he said "Allah , protect it"

>> No.6439308

>>6437253
He wanted to wash his hand, but there was shit in the sink, so he fried some bacon instead.

>> No.6439314

I talked in german to my mother.

>> No.6439347

>>6439308
He wanted to wash his sink, but there was some shit in the sink, so he fried bacon instead.
He wanted to fry his sink, but there was some bacon on his hand, so he washed some shit instead.
He wanted to wash his hand, but there was some bacon on the sink, so he fried some shit instead.

Make a phrase like this with many words that can be exchanged from place to place.
Then, make a program which will randomly change the words in set places.
Feed the phrase into the program. Get funny phrases.

>> No.6439357

>>6437287
I see you've actually read Kafka.

>"Oh bother," thought Pooh. "I hope no one notices."
>Pooh turns into a pile of human excrement. His coworkers are surprised, but quickly return to their tasks.

>> No.6439365

No because then I'll be tied to a piece of work I'm not fond of and my name will be tarnished forever.

>> No.6439390

There was a noise, sharp and loud, that seemed to be coming from everywhere at once-- if one listened carefully it seemed to resonate in spastic waves and pronounce "FUCK THE POLICE"

>> No.6439721
File: 199 KB, 379x344, 1408461788944.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6439721

>>6437253
skate or die dude you either skate or you die

>> No.6439752

>>6437398
>>6437405
FUCK
OFF
REDDIT

>> No.6439761

>>6437253
They knew him for the limp before they met him.

>> No.6439765

>>6437423
>>>/v/

>> No.6439802

A young bureaucrat who lives with his family in a small apartment wakes up one day in his bed transformed in a huge beetle-like insect.

>> No.6439806

The diagnosis was certain: Henry was sick simply because he had been so well for most of his life; statistically, the doctor explained, these things catch up with you.

>> No.6439843

But the awful truth was that pretending could never accomplish anything; the right word would would bring it back to life, each time.

>> No.6439853

A woman walks into a butcher shop;
'no meat touching ma'am.'

>> No.6439856

>>6437276
OP asked for kafkaesque, not Helleresque

>> No.6439889

>>6439856
>Helleresque
It's so much better though.

>> No.6439896

everything was expensive.

>> No.6439911

>>6439856
>>6439889
It helps that Heller is already a Kafkaesque writer

>> No.6439941

I, being made of dust, had little arousal everytime someone would sweep me off.

>> No.6439970

A guy was thrust into a surreal experience for unclear reasons and the world was against him, then he died.

>> No.6440021

He told me that around that corner would be the best breakfast tacos and when I went there hotdogs named best breakfast tacos was sold instead.

>> No.6440027

>>6439281
That could be written a lot better but that had a pretty intriguing message.

>> No.6440032

>>6440027
Kafka wrote it, you fucking plebe.

>> No.6440044

>>6440032
I must be reading weird translations then, it sounded like somebody on the internet was trying to replicate something they read a long time ago. Also, where is it from?

>> No.6440050

>>6440044
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Before_the_Law

>> No.6440051

Woke up from an uneasy night.
Desperately need to wash my face, then breakfast, then at work by 7:30 AM.
There is an invisible barrier between me and the sink in my room, so I can not wash my face, so i can not have breakfast, so I can not go to work. The barrier lingers, its nature unexplained.
I die of starvation. My sister, whom I live with, will find my body when returning from her travels, her letters to me never opened.

>> No.6440069

>>6437253

I could be having more sex with this deformed chick I met a few days ago but for some reason going to the dmv got my ass resigned from college.

>> No.6440086

>>6440044
thats a real famous kafka short story my man

>> No.6440103

>>6439288
>buttmad thesaurus

>> No.6440108

Cut my life in to pieces, this is my last resort.

>> No.6440136

>>6440027
tell me this is bait

>> No.6440319

>>6439843
would would would would would

>>6440051
This sounds like something Stephen King would write. But have you ever really desperately needed to wash your face?

>> No.6440383

>>6437253
I had spent a lifetime working on my magnum opus novel, and took it to the publishers; the editor proceeded to slide it, page by page, into the shredder, all while beaming and exclaiming 'my kids are gonna love this!'.

>> No.6440601

Dear diary, today was just another day in the Machine

>> No.6440620

>>6437253
Select all images below that match the one on the right.

>> No.6440634

>>6440620
10/10

I was taking a stroll one fine morning when I came across two police officers kicking a swan to death; when I began to yell at them, one of them turned to me, mumbled something like 'swans first, lambs next', and then clobbered me with his truncheon.

>> No.6440704

Upon walking up to the door of the Court you find it locked, even though everybody else enters with ease.

>> No.6440731

I believe I am turning into a magon.

>> No.6440756
File: 282 KB, 500x500, oial3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6440756

>>6437253
As you rest your head on your pillow at night, you can't help but notice a dark shape in the corner of the ceiling. You look closely at it, but you can't make out what it is. In the morning, you see that it's gone. Yet the next night, it returns.

>> No.6440777

>>6437253
After having been led into a small cell by two uniformed men and told to await his execution there, Gregor K. prepared to fight firmly for his freedom and life when the executor would came, and waited there, until he died.

>> No.6440781

>>6440756

What is the context of that in the game?

>> No.6440787

Nuhhh, I'm weird and I think everyone can notice my weirdness d-doushio.

>> No.6440805

>>6440781
It's a snippet of text wich serves a description for a giant caterpillar monster

>> No.6440867

>>6437253
The cravings of those men were not of their own design.