/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.6279258]

http://strawpoll.me/3889857

Let's discuss how it would play out

Nietzsche is the announcer and commentator.

[Anonymous No.6279269]

Just set up a Hunger Games thread.

[Anonymous No.6279285]

>>6279269
This.
I'm bored enough for one.

[Anonymous No.6279287]

>>6279269
I probably will later tonight

[Anonymous No.6279294]

Not even much of a fan of Hemingway but nobody can deny he was a total badass.

[Anonymous No.6279303]

>>6279258
>Pitting Rimbaud and Kafka up against the likes of Stirner, Hemingway, and HOBBES

[Anonymous No.6279307]

>>6279287
Do it now nigga, you put a soldier up against a bunch of chicken-legged faggots.

[Anonymous No.6279314]

>not voting for Cicero

Am I in pleb-land?

[Anonymous No.6279315]

for real though Diogenes was probably a total beast in combat and Karl was a big guy

[Anonymous No.6279321]

>>6279314
Didn't Cicero survive multiple direct and psychical assassination attempts? And they had to burn his tongue and head after he died? Dude was hardcore

[Anonymous No.6279332]

>that one guy who voted for Foster Wallace

kek

[Anonymous No.6279363]

>>6279332
He'd sweat so much everyone would slip off the ring

[Anonymous No.6279473]

Joyce has got an eyepatch. He knows his shit

[Anonymous No.6280242]

>not Hesse
It's like you're afraid of him.
Anyways, he would probably kill everyone with his mental powers.

[Anonymous No.6280254]

>>6279258
>http://strawpoll.me/3889857
>no Socrates


Socrates was not only ripped, he was FUCKING ripped. Pretty much every Greek philosopher, poet, tragedian, and so on would have been, because they were all adult male citizens, and either had to fight in the army or (later) row in the fleet. Or both.

People underestimate the level of physical exertion these things required. These guys worked out EVERY day. They worked out so much that they actually liked working out. They lived to work out. Their entire leisure time was composed of working out and getting gay over how hot their bods were in the balmy Mediterranean sun. The first ten fucking pages in Plato's FIRST dialogue have Socrates lusting over a teenager's sweaty, manly pecs through his toga. Socrates likens himself to a lion that is about to gobble up its prey. He can barely control himself. That is how the Western philosophical tradition starts: homoerotic lust for ripped abs. When Alcibiades, the manliest man in history, bursts into the famous drinking party, at which the guests are discussing the urbane topic of Love, it is to ask Socrates why he never fucked him in the ass when they cuddled. You know how the dialogue ends? Socrates goes to the gym and works out.

Modern recreations and reconstructions have not even succeeded in duplicating the physical feats reported of the Athenian soldiery - that is, the Athenian citizenry. Often, modern historians doubt that these feats are even being accurately reported, for instance the straight dash of the Athenian army across the entire field at Marathon. This is because modern athletes and bodybuilders can't even do these things, even with relatively light gear compared to what the Athenians actually carried. It took a team of Olympic master rowers to even APPROXIMATE the sailing techniques of the Athenian fleet, outside of combat conditions, on a placid sea. The entire Athenian fleet was regularly capable of these maneuvers, season after season, year after year, campaign after campaign. The sole engine of these maneuvers was muscle. Raw, sweaty, heaving Athenian muscle. Athenian men were the envy of the Aegean.

It is understandable that modern historians, coming from a society of flabby, skinnyfat wimps, are unable to comprehend the sheer manliness of Athens. Socrates saved Alciabiades in a hoplite battle in the Peloponnesian War. Aeschylus, the tragic poet, fought at Marathon. And all of them worked out and fucked ass, at every moment they weren't literally inventing Western civilisation.