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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 385 KB, 1125x1500, Zadie Smith.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218087 No.6218087 [Reply] [Original]

>'Put it in me,' she said.

>Ok then. Howard took hold of his cock and began the breach. He had imagined it would be hard to top the moaning that had already occured, but, as he entered Victoria, she managed it, and Howard, who was not used to so much congratulation so early on in the procedure, feared he might have hurt her and how hesitated as to whether to push deeper.

>'Fuck me deeper!' said Victoria.

>And so Howard pressed deeper three times, offering about half of his ample eight and and half inches, that happy accident of nature which, Kiki once suggested, was the true, primal reason why Howard was still not working as a butcher on the Dalson High Street. But with his fourth push the nerves and the tightness and the wine overpowered him, and he came in a small, shivery way that gave him no great pleasure. He fell forward on to Victoria and waited morosely for those familiar sounds of feminine disappointment.

>'Oh, God! Oh, God!' said Victoria and convulsed dramatically. "Oh, I love it when you fuck me!'

From 'On Beauty' by Zadie Smith.

This shit is indistinguishable from the average story submitted to literotica.com.

>> No.6218094

Except that there is nothing erotic about this.

>> No.6218102

>>6218087
The humour is soaring over your head.

>> No.6218104
File: 72 KB, 559x596, Arnold.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218104

>>6218094
>Except that there is nothing erotic about this.

Speak for yourself. This is only an excerpt of the whole sex scene. In one part, she bends over and shows her brown asshole and Howard thinks for the moment that she wants to be pounded in the ass.

>> No.6218125

>'Put it in me,' she said.

>Ok then. Howard took hold of his cock and began the breach. He had imagined it would be hard to top the moaning that had already occured, but, as he entered Victoria, she managed it, and Howard, who was not used to so much congratulation so early on in the procedure, feared he might have hurt her and how hesitated as to whether to push deeper.

>'Fuck me deeper!' said Victoria.

>And but so Howard pressed deeper three times, offering about half of his ample eight and and half inches, that happy accident of nature which, Kiki once suggested, was the true, primal reason why Howard was still not working as a butcher on the Dalson High Street. But with his fourth push the nerves and the tightness and the wine overpowered him, and he came in a small, shivery way that gave him no great pleasure. He fell forward on to Victoria and waited morosely for those familiar sounds of feminine disappointment.

>'Oh, God! Oh, God!' said Victoria and convulsed dramatically. "Oh, I love it when you fuck me!'

From 'On Beauty' by Zadie Smith.

This shit is indistinguishable from the average story submitted to literotica.com.

>> No.6218134

>>6218087
is this suposed to be unerotic?

>> No.6218142

>>6218134
Of course. She's a n

>> No.6218143

Female authors can't write sex scenes.

>> No.6218151

>>6218142
oh, hey, guys it's ca

>> No.6218156

>>6218102
this
you are stupid, OP

>> No.6218159

>>6218102
Where's the humour?

>> No.6218167

>>6218151
What? In here? This was supposed to be a neutral zo

>> No.6218187
File: 34 KB, 598x400, Candlejack.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218187

Why are you guys writing like that? I thought this was a Zadie Smith thread, not a Candlejack o

>> No.6218193

To be fair, On Beauty is an all-around bad novel.

>> No.6218217

she'll get hers on the day of the ro

>> No.6218322
File: 172 KB, 311x301, 1411576801347.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218322

>>6218087
I'm confused. How does being a big guy prevent him from working as a butcher?

>> No.6218326

>>6218322
I can only guess he's a male escort or some such thing

>> No.6218328

>>6218187
Goddamn it, I hate Candlejack thr

>> No.6218355
File: 107 KB, 638x267, omahabeach.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218355

>began the breach

Begin the breach! 30 seconds! Clear the shingle!

>> No.6218381

>>6218087
White Teeth was fucking brilliant, thanks.

>> No.6218384

>>6218156
>>6218159
It's British humor. So if you're American or British then you don't understand it. If you're Scottish then you'll laugh at the stupidity and if you're French then you'll curse it.

What am I?
Welsh.

>> No.6218386

>>6218355
Is that one from Medal of Honor: Frontline or Call of Duty 2? I can't remember.

>> No.6218393
File: 467 KB, 300x280, Jake.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218393

>>6218384
>where's the humour?
>it's [insert country] humour
>no need to explain it any further

You're the worst.

>> No.6218432

>>6218393
>muh language games.
You're the worst

>> No.6218439

>>6218393
>not knowing British humor is shit
>not knowing Scott's understand Brits more than anyone
>not knowing American humor is superior to the attempt of humor that Brits try
>not knowing the French hate everything British

Are you a child? Reported for underage.

>> No.6218450

>>6218087
Some of the unsexiest sex ever.

>> No.6218477

>>6218439
You spelt 'humour' wrong you ameri-boo cuck.

>> No.6218482

>>6218322
Because he might chop it off

>> No.6218485

>>6218384
>being from Wales

Where abouts boyo?

>> No.6218489

>>6218087
>>And so the MoRd pressed deeper three times, offering about half of his ample eight and and half inches

>> No.6218492

>Dalston High Street

Well memed.

>> No.6218552
File: 20 KB, 320x240, Madmen4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218552

>eight and a half inches

>> No.6218583 [DELETED] 

when I read this the first time I was hoping it wouldn't happen and then uhh a lot happens

>> No.6218588
File: 20 KB, 296x306, s8it4ld.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218588

>>6218384
Sure, the fact that it's a try at humour is obvious. But that doesn't make it funny.

>> No.6218597

>>6218588
it's going to be less funny if you just read this excerpt without knowing these characters and the situation and all that

someone post the failed threesomes in NW

>> No.6218613

I've only read nw. Does she write like that in her other books? As in similar to nw, not ops excerpt? It ls really beautiful without being purple.

>> No.6218637

>>6218087
That's fucking hilarious. Intentionally, obviously.

>> No.6218660

This was the most modern novel we read for my Brit lit class and I didn't finish it because I thought it was boring and sucked

>> No.6218792

Reading that simply can't help me from believing that she herself loves huge cocks and frequently indulges in sex with hung men.

>> No.6218819

jesus christ, is no one in here adequately equipped to explain why that passage is hilarious?

it's funny because the tone is ironic to the topic at hand. while not exactly clinical, it is emotionally detached from an intimate moment, regarding with some disinterest the acts it describes and instead digressing into asides like whether or not having a big penis might cause men to have poor histories of employment (due to being able to satisfy their lovers without attainment, or perhaps because they are so often and easily involved in sexual encounters that they are sated and unable to muster the will to attain anything of lasting importance).

There's also the distinct possibility that the passage is funny in that Victoria is obviously and melodramatically putting Howard on, but that's actually impossible to tell without knowing more about the two characters.

>> No.6218854

>>6218819
It's not funny because it didn't make me laugh.

>> No.6218866
File: 38 KB, 720x316, 1422369013850.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218866

>>6218854
HA! HA! HA! ME TOO!

>> No.6218867

>>6218854
No, it's funny. Just because a child doesn't laugh at a joke meant for adults doesn't mean the joke isn't funny.

>> No.6218879

>>6218867
just because an adult laughs at a joke meant for adults doesnt mean the joke is funny

>> No.6218891

>>6218879
It literally does, so long as they are laughing because they found it funny.

rekt.

>> No.6218898

>>6218891
so as long as just one person in the world laughs about it its automatically a funny joke?

>> No.6218900

>>6218867
>>6218879

There's a difference between an individual finding a passage emotionally stimulating and the passage containing formal devices that are clearly for the purpose of stimulating humor.

This passage, as the other anon pointed out, does contain such devices as irony, literal and figurative anti-climax, hyperbole, and so forth. You can debate the skill of their use, but don't make the mistake of thinking your own experience of the prose is definitive. Try to use a little empathy, or at least a little intelligence to suss out why you don't find it funny. Is it too unsubtle? Is the type of humor morally deplorable?

>> No.6218903

>>6218898
would it not be? is there any other legitimate metric? I can't think of one, I'll tell you that.

>> No.6218907

>>6218104
That was exactly the part i was thinking of as well. It's almost all I can remember about the story

>> No.6218932

>>6218903
so if i dont find it funny, why would you insist that the joke is funny, just because another person showed a different reaction that supports your opinion? we cant possibly judge whether a joke is objectively funny so we have to go by popular opinion and cant conclude that a single person laughing at something that was intended as a joke automatically makes it a funny joke.

>> No.6218938

>>6218900
I bet you think you're smart.

>> No.6218950

>>6218932
No, the burden of proving it rests on your claim, not mine. If even one person finds it funny, it is funny (at least to them). In order for you to correctly claim it is not funny, you would have the (impossible) task of proving nobody at all finds it funny.

Does this largely trivialize the claim that it's funny? Sure, but then my primary purpose was to dick with you, you humorless faggot.

>> No.6218959
File: 307 KB, 2000x1000, Womenlaughing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6218959

Literotica is not up to this level of quality on average. And I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

>> No.6218966

If Zadie wasn't black, nobody'd even bother.

>> No.6218980

>>6218950
neither you nor i can make a claim that something is or isnt funny, it can only be funny to you or not funny to you. saying a joke is funny just because it made someone laugh as intended is still a faulty generalization.

>> No.6218984

>>6218966
Would anyone read or care about anything written by a woman or minority if they weren't a woman or minority?

>> No.6218991

>>6218980
Wrong. Since the experience of humor is subjective, it is truly ONLY the subjective observer who is uniquely qualified to judge whether something is funny. If even ONE so qualified determines something to be funny, it is - ipso facto.

This is the kind of logic that becomes more apparent to you if you get yourself a quality education, kid. Not trying to put you down; you seem smart and I understand where your argument is coming from, but I'm warning you that in the world outside high school and the blue collar workforce, your argument doesn't have much traction.

>> No.6218999

>>6218991
If one subject finds it funny then all you've shown is that the particular subject finds it funny. Nothing more.

>> No.6219011

>>6218938
jesus christ what an answer. I BET YE THINK YER A SMARTUN YA DRAT BASTED BUT AH SED I DIN LAF DIN I?

>> No.6219031

>>6218959
It was....about 9 years ago.

>> No.6219036

^All posters above are gay

>> No.6219070

>>6218984
I would if they wrote about something relevant to my interests. I recently read Laura by Vera Caspary and found it quite good. This quote, however, doesn't make me want to read anything by Zadie Smith.

>> No.6219078

Started White Teeth a few days ago. Bretty gud so far, even if I do get triggered every 30 pages or so.