/lit/ - Literature

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Anonymous Sat May 1 16:37:06 2010 No.618641 [Reply] [Original]

Lit, any pointers on this poem?

You had pasta in a city diner,
I had coffee – black – and bitter.
It quenched my thirst and burnt my tongue.

We were normal, as normal as we could be
I enjoyed my meal with you, but it was not fun
After all you had done.
You would never finish your dinners.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 1 16:38:06 2010 No.618644 Delete it.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 1 16:39:06 2010 No.618648 bump

>>	Ezra !32FfZf5z/6 Sat May 1 16:40:06 2010 No.618654 File: 18 KB, 300x397, ezrap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Needs editing.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 1 16:41:06 2010 No.618656 Moar Frank O'Hara style description less stating how normal the speaker is.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 1 16:42:06 2010 No.618658 >>618656 gracious.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 1 16:45:06 2010 No.618666 >as we could be >fun and done rhyming These things are jarring but otherwise I like it. I particularly like the last line.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 1 16:46:06 2010 No.618668 rhythm or rhyme, better words and a better subject

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