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/lit/ - Literature

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6127001 No.6127001 [Reply] [Original]

>tfw too depressed to even read

>> No.6127010

hey bud,

don't be so depressed. when you read, you escape your world. the same world that says you can't write. when you read, you can at least subconsciously store talented prose for your own use later. it sucks being derivative but everything is derivative of something if you believe lit. i love you fellow patrician :) i know what you're going through

>> No.6127016

>>6127001
read Ligottis 'conspiracy against the human race' man. Then you'll get beyond that depression.

>> No.6127023

iktf. I find reading a lot easier to do when depressed than music or television though, for some reason.

i think it's because i'm subvocalising the words of the book, leaving no room for my negative thoughts?

only works if you can focus hard, though.

>> No.6127170

>>6127016
do i have to read his other works first, having never heard of him?

>> No.6127194

>>6127023
>only works if you can focus hard, though.

That is the problem. When you're depressed you can't focus on reading because you can't forget the things that are making you sad.

>> No.6127206

>>6127010

thanks for keepin' the vibes good, man

not even OP

>> No.6127221

>>6127194
yeah, i'm often surprised by how easily people throw the word "depression" around. depression is not when you "have the blues" or what you feel when your girlfriend dumps you, it's a fucking illness. when you're depressed, you cannot function normally. you cannot "take your mind off" of it, you cannot just fucking read a book and get better suddenly. not any more than you could cure any other illness by reading a book.

"focusing" on something is what you absolutely cannot do when you are depressed. your whole existence essentially starts to revolve around one thing, and there is no getting away from it. how can you focus on anything, when everything else is, practically immaterial? there is no you, there is only the depression.

>> No.6127224

Sometimes the word is like a gravestone, with no meaning behind it.

>> No.6127229

>>6127221
Absolutely.
It's not just sadness or anything like that - even though that's likely to be related - it's deeper. It's like you're immersed in a sea of molded emotions and you can't just pick one, it's all together. And you're lost. And you feel lost. And that makes you feel freaking sick.

>> No.6127231

>tfw when considering that reading too much made me too idealistic leading to some level of depression

>> No.6127240

I'm depressed right now, too, OP. I've been in therapy since October and that has honestly really helped, you should consider it. On the flip side I was very happy and content with my life 3 weeks ago but my psychiatrist (not my therapist) tried putting me on ADHD meds and I haven't felt good since then.

tl;dr - keep reading even though you're depressed and maybe go see a therapist, you never know, the change of perspective could really benefit you.

>> No.6127256

>>6127231
>reading fantasy

>> No.6127258

>>6127256
>implying only fantasy can make you idealistic

>> No.6127265

Reading "The View from Planet Trillaphon as Seen In Relation to the Bad Thing" and "The Depressed Person" by DFW helped me to get through my so depressed I can't even read stage.

>> No.6127267
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6127267

>>6127231
Nihilism and pessimism are going to creep even upon you.

>> No.6127270

>>6127221
Kierkegaard did it best when he separated depression and despair.

Depression is a bodily sickness and despair is a spiritual sickness.

You can be depressed and not have despair, and you can have despair and not be depressed (in fact you can be deeply in despair but outwardly/bodily appear very happy).

>> No.6127278

>>6127001
why are you depressed?

>> No.6127304
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6127304

Every now and then my OCD gets so bad that I'll be so consumed that I'll go weeks without having the energy to pick up a book.

>Ive been "reading" the Iliad for the last two or three months

>> No.6127307

>>6127304
OCD is shit.
Do you also have to keep re-reading sentences untill it feels... right? Even though you already got the meaning.

>> No.6127311

>>6127304
Fuuuuuckkkkkk OCD brah, I've struggled with this shit my whole life. It makes reading such a chore.

>> No.6127315
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6127315

>tfw I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas

>> No.6127316

>>6127170
no, you can start with TCATHR. It his his only non-fictional book so far and I felt that no real background-knowledge is needed. It just calmed me down and changed my point of view for all this shit we call life. Now I can stand it without being too depressed. His other stuff is pretty good horror-literature nevertheless.

>> No.6127319

>>6127267
based Rustle

>> No.6127320

>>6127304
um idk much about ocd except a quick glance at wikipedia but it sounds like add. maybe you should try reading shorter books? flash fiction and poetry are good too. sometimes i read a word, like a noun, and connect it with other random words, adjectives and verbs, on a page and make up my own sentences. where there's a will there's a way... have fun with it :)

>> No.6127325

>>6127320
ok

>> No.6127328

>>6127010
Not OP, but thanks man.

>> No.6127330

>>6127221
it seems to me that within a period of a depression you can have relatively slight ups where one is able to function more than usual, maybe I'm just bipolar

>> No.6127332

Depression is just your bullshit excuse for being a lazy waste of space.

>> No.6127336

>>6127332
f u

>> No.6127344
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6127344

>>6127336
Screengrab this exchange and be sure to show it to your "doctor" so he can prescribe you lots and lots of drugs you don't need.

>> No.6127374

>>6127344
suck my cock you little idiot

>> No.6127411

>>6127332

hell yeah holden you go teach them nasty phonies some real lessons about the world you have it all worked out now good work

>> No.6127430

>>6127278
because some faggots keep shitting up /lit/ with /r9k/ threads

>> No.6127446

>>6127016
This, probably the most cathartic experience I've had so far, except I still haven't found the point in reading anything after that.

>> No.6127470
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6127470

> Start reading Farewell to Arms
> Ends up taking me a god damn month to read because life shit starts fucking me and my energy over
> took me a whole fucking month to read 200-300 pages
I'm so disappointed with myself

>> No.6127497

>>6127446
Is it that good? I started reading it, but I don't know what's the point.

>> No.6127511

>>6127497
It's excellent, starts with Zapffe's The Last Messiah and Ligotti's puppet motif and works its way from there to the essential pessimist authors and neuroscience (lack of free will and personhood etc). Best piece of pessimist literature I've read.

>> No.6127516

>>6127511
Thanks anon, but... How's that supposed to "help" people who are depressed haha

>> No.6127525

>>6127516
It's kind of Zen, you know? For me it changed my perspective from "boohoo existence is shit" to "these are the exact reasons for why existence is more or less shit", it gives you a sense of control and calm to know these things even if they don't stroke your pollyanna-fueled ego.

>> No.6127530

>>6127516
If you're still looking for a 'way out' then you're doing it wrong. You're having an accurate reaction to a dreadful situation. Don't delude yourself like the rest of the weak plebeians. Stay 'depressed'.

>> No.6127542

>>6127525
Good. I'll take a look. Thanks anon.

>>6127530
>Stay 'depressed'.
Thar's the best worst advice I've received. thanks bro

>> No.6128016

>>6127221
i have manic depression, i'm not just throwing the word around

i just find that if i can replace my inner dialogue with a subvocalization of the text, it acts similar to mindfulness as a way to transcend my negative thoughts

it's difficult to do, but i'm just saying i find it easier to do than something like music or television, which leave you to your own devices

>> No.6128038 [DELETED] 

>>6127315
Iktfb

>> No.6128044

>>6127332
are you talking about teenage depression or are you talking about psyche ward depression?

Funny, one of the theorized causes of depression might be that its a natural mechanism for people who were too sick to take care of themselves in a pack scenario. The idea is that is someone realizes they are too much of a burden for everyone else they will just fall behind or go off on their own while the pack moves on. And in an evolutionary way this is beneficial because humans remain wanting to help each other, but if someone is truly beyond help they will essentially see themselves out.

Some people think that clinical depression is this kind of response, but its been triggered for no good reason. The person is essentially feeling like they should go off and die somewhere, but they are otherwise healthy.

The implications on pack dynamics are very interesting.
Like, if you were more self aware you might do us all a favor and kill yourself.

>> No.6128057

>>6128044
>there is an evolutionary advantage to suicide

>> No.6128058

>>6127470
i've had like 35 pages left of The Woman in the Dunes for about 2 months

i just can't do it

>> No.6128064

>>6127240
I second this. My therapist has really helped me with my depression and anxiety. It feels really good to have a little help instead of trying to work through it on your own.

>> No.6128065

have you seriously considered suicide? it's not always a bad option.

>> No.6128069

>>6128065
anon no

>> No.6128075

>>6128065
this isn't /b/

>> No.6128108

>>6128075
nor is it reddit. Prove the sanctity of life in under 150 characters If you can but sometimes people should kill themselves. Its not edgy or harsh, if anything its compassionate. Life isn't for everybody its a fact of life.

>> No.6128114

>>6128108
It's a sin

>> No.6128135

>>6128108
i don't know about sanctity, but you might as well live, cause you don't get to do any more things when you die #yolo

>> No.6128141

For those of you considering suicide, do not listen to this guy >>6128108
Go do something amazing, hunt lions in Africa, start bungee jumping, anything. So many options.

I know this isn't the nicest place on the internet, but please, there are people who love you, anons.

>> No.6128145

>>6128114
>>6128135
>>6128141
ad hominem

>> No.6128148

>tfw too depressed not to read

Its my only real escape

>> No.6128153

>>6128141
Jesus Christ.
>there are people that love you
You don't know that. Anon may have no family and no friends. Lonliness is a harsh reality that some of us have lived with.
But anon can suck it up and quit being a pussy bitch and go slay poon or write something worthwhile or anon can wallow in self pity because his life is oh so difficult and kill himself. It's up to anon but don't feed him tumblr bullshit.

>> No.6128161

>>6128141
>dont kill yourself
>kill lions in africa
You're making the argument for suicide stronger you feel good fuck

>> No.6128167

>>6128153
Well, it's still worth trying to make other people's days better. They might be feeling at the bottom of the pit. Something as simple as "there are people that love you" might help them, you never know. Again, still worth trying. Sorry for any mistakes I might have committed in english, it's not my first language.
Have a nice day, anon.

>> No.6128174
File: 374 KB, 457x503, Mozza.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6128174

>>6128161
this

>> No.6128180

Get lost in a fan damn book man

>> No.6128222

>>6127001
>tfw too tired to even read

>> No.6128281

The world is a profoundly fucked up place. If you're depressed it just means you've been paying attention. People that say suicide is wrong are deluded fools. You don't owe them or this world anything.

>> No.6128288

>>6128281
>having empathy
ho ho ho

>> No.6128297
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6128297

>>6128281
What is worse than a diseased will? People with a diseased will who think they are superior.

>> No.6128308

>>6128281
how is the world "a fucked up place"? on what grounds do you believe it to be "fucked up" exactly?

>> No.6128315

>>6128297
>diseased will
>search for "diseased will" to see what nietzsche book it's in
>forgot switched default search to duckduckgo in a fit of paranoia
>all results are about deceased people's wills

god damn, you forget how shitty non-google search really was until you have to use some

>> No.6128341

>>6128315
>A Nation Of Hamlets: The Psychological Source of the Misery of Russia
>by L.E. Miller

well, that was unexpected

>> No.6128390 [DELETED] 
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6128390

>>6128308
>mfw pseudo-intellectuals want to debate the meaning of real meaning of "fucked up" rather than actually refuting the points of my statement.

>> No.6128465

>tfw too lonely to concentrate

I hope I die soon.

>> No.6128475

>>6128057
>male praymantis

>> No.6128487

>>6128465
you're not gonna die if you don't leave the house

get out there and go to parties, and maybe if you're lucky you'll get murdered

>> No.6128492

>>6127010
Not OP, but thanks.

>> No.6128507

>>6128487

I go outside every day, sometimes hoping something like that will happen, but it never does.

>> No.6128511

>suddenly hit a full "existenial crisis"
I've broken down into tears twice in just as many days, and i honestly think it's starting to effect my health and mental well being

Anyone got any advice how to deal with it?

>> No.6128527

>>6128511
EFT

>> No.6128545

>>6128527
I was more in the mind of "ways to look at life", "ways to think" helpful tips to not despair, but i guess i'll lookin into it.

>> No.6128557

>>6128511
In a same situation I started to write everything on my mind, as I don't have anybody to talk to. It's a good exercise. It cleans your mind. Doing exercise and keeping a tidy ambient also helped me.

>> No.6128617

>>6128557
Thanks for the idea - i'll defo start doing that
- Small update, just broke down again just watching tv with my old man

Seriously this is so messed up

>> No.6128653

I always read ecclesiastes when I'm depressed. I'm not christian but it helps

>> No.6128675

>>6127010
Not op but I hate you

>> No.6128683

>>6127010
I'm also not Op but you sound like a bit of a faggot

>> No.6128702

>>6127001
kill urself, lol

>> No.6128719

>>6128683
stfu

>> No.6128736

>>6128653
ecclesiastes? and why is that?

>> No.6128765

>>6128702
killyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourself

>> No.6128926

>>6127332
Being handicapped is just your bullshit excuse for being a lazy waste of space.

>> No.6128943

>>6127001
Have you looked into taking 5-HTP? I've been using it for the past two weeks, and it seems to be working for me. Although it could all just be a placebo...

>> No.6129081

>herp derp instead of killing yourself just go do something amazing like running with the bulls or trekking around the world

But I have no money to do that.

>> No.6129117

>>6129081
steal money

>> No.6129180

>>6128315
Wasn't using a formal term. Nietzsche considers nihilism to be a disease of the will born from Western reason: metaphysical understandings of the meaning of the universe (given by Plato and Christianity) that has mixed with modern materialistic science and thus devalued existence in our eyes.

We as Westerners think life needs higher meaning than itself, and we are obsessed with gaining knowledge (will to truth); the will to truth (science) found the world to be materialistic, not metaphysical, and there went all of the West's established existential meaning (God is Dead). However, Nietzsche refutes nihilism by saying that the idea of life needing higher meaning is a delusion,- Life (vitality) is meaning itself for all healthy types - and the will to truth is the last erroneous piety we intellectuals have.

Intellectually depressed people are diseased in this way, and normally depressed people simply have diseased wills, that is, a will that has turned back on itself (see Genealogy of Morals, essay 2).

>> No.6129186

>>6129117
Great. Now I'm depressed AND in prison!

>> No.6129194

>>6129081
So get a job and do drugs like an adult. You're depressed because your life is a structureless blob. If you work and are still broke stop being a McDrone or move back into your mother's basement.

>> No.6130276

>>6129180
>Dying proudly when it is no longer feasible to live proudly. Death chosen freely, death at the right time, carried out with lucidity and cheerfulness, surrounded by children and witnesses: this makes it possible to have a real leave-taking where the leave-taker is still there, and a real assessment of everything that has been achieved or willed, a summation of life
>More than anything, and in spite of all the cowardices of prejudice, this establishes the proper (which is to say physiological) appreciation of a so-called natural death: which, at the end of the day, is itself just an 'unnatural' death, a suicide. You are never destroyed by anyone except yourself. This is just a death under the most despicable conditions, an unfree death, a death at the wrong time, a coward's death. Out of love for life -, you should want death to be different, free, conscious, without chance, without surprises
>Finally, a piece of advice for our dear friends the pessimists, and other decadents as well. We cannot help having been born: but we can make up for this mistake (because sometimes it is a mistake). When you do away with yourself you are doing the most admirable thing there is: it almost makes you deserve to live . . . Society - what am I saying! - life itself gets more of a benefit from this than from any sort of 'life' of renunciation, anaemia, or other virtues -, you liberate others from the sight of you, you liberate life from an objection . . . Pessimism, pur, vert, is first proven by the self-refutation of our dear pessimists: you have to take one more step in its logic and not just negate life with 'will and representation' as Schopenhauer did -, first, you have to negate Schopenhauer . . Incidentally, infectious as pessimism is, it does not increase the amount of overall sickliness in an age or a generation: it is an expression of the sickliness. You contract it as you contract cholera: you have to be sufficiently predisposed to morbidity. Pessimism itself does not create any more decadents; I remember figures showing no statistical difference in the total number of deaths during years of high cholera incidence as compared to other years.
Twilight of the Idols, A moral for doctors

>> No.6130488

>>6130276
What exactly are you trying to say with that text?

>> No.6130514

>>6127470
On the plus side, I like your taste in images.

>> No.6130609

>>6130488
Just showing Nietzsche's further views about "diseased wills". From his perspective we should off ourselves if we are sick to a high degree. I think his perspective in general, and by that I mean everything else he wrote, makes much more sense than something like Schopenhauer's (or Ligotti's, whose book someone recommended above), but it also makes it all even more tragic, or pessimistic, or depressing, without any consolations or excuses.
Once you approach Nietzsche's "no bullshit" way of perceiving, interpreting, and evaluating the world, there's really nothing that can help you when in deep depression. It only intensifies the will to nothing which raised to its nth power negates itself.