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/lit/ - Literature

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5771819 No.5771819 [Reply] [Original]

what do you prefer, a normalfag (but qt3.14) gf you share no interests with, or just staying alone?

>> No.5771835

>>5771819
qt3.14.
We could snuggle and watch nature documentaries :3

>> No.5771845

after being in a relationship for the past 9 years the the thought of my own clean quiet apartment appeals to me. hard.

>> No.5771849

i've had more than enough isolation in my life, i'll take the companionship.

>> No.5771857

>>5771819
is that a real question?

i honestly wouldn't be interested in a girl that shares my interests, i want a break from my pretentious bullshit and someone to call it what it is

>> No.5771858

>>5771835
based attenborough crosses all boundaries

>> No.5771862

I'll take anything allah bestows upon me. such alone...

>> No.5771866

>>5771835
>>5771849
but how do I learn not to be an elitist, so I don't nauseate my qt3.14?

>> No.5771873

>>5771866
have you tried not being a cunt?

>> No.5771878

>>5771866
realize that you can hold your own views and intelligently express them without being a condescending faggot about it

>> No.5771881

>>5771873
yes and it worked out well. but it felt wrong to me.

>> No.5771894

I'd rather be alone than have a "normalfag" for a partner but I'd end up alone regardless.

>> No.5771903

I am an ascended human being, normalfag is the world. I can have as good a conversation with a dog as a person.

>> No.5771905

Lone,

>> No.5771918
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5771918

>>5771894
pretty much this.

>> No.5771919

qt3.14 gf.
I can handle being alone but girls are good.

>> No.5771922

>>5771866
feed her the finest foods or drinks and explain to her why they are the most best
she will come to adore your elitism

>> No.5771927

>>5771819
Anyone who would choose the girl is fooling themselves. Is this /lit/ or /r9k/? A girl will not solve your problems, especially one who you enter into a superfluous relationship with.

You should be able to be happy alone.

>> No.5771932

Girls are good IMO

>> No.5771934

>>5771919
is there anything good besides sex if she isn't interesting at all? don't think I need a relationship for that.

>> No.5771940

>>5771934
I like when I wake up and there's someone else there.

>> No.5771970

>>5771932
pleb

>> No.5772029

just fuck her, OP. no need for a superficial relationship

>> No.5772438
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5772438

>>5771819
Not a fair hypothetical question.
If I pick the companionship, I can still get all the alone time.

In truth, I have searched for the not so normal (But poorly, I must admit) and I am so very alone as a result.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfOk-qx7Xyc

>> No.5772464

The girl. I'm the type that thinks I enjoy solitude, but it always only ends in crippling depression.

That's just me.

>> No.5772476

>>5772438
i-ill always be here for you butterfly <3

>> No.5772491

I prefer being alone and buying prostitutes.

>> No.5772514

>>5771819
i don't want a gf with the same interests as me wtf

>> No.5772518

>>5772476
>hugs

Are you the one giving me all those shout outs?

>> No.5772542

>>5772514
Why not? It's actually pretty cool if you are both interested in the same stuff.

>> No.5772547

>>5771866
I'm one of the worst elitists I ever met and girls were never nauseated. Maybe just try to put some humor and bring them in on the joke.

>> No.5772553

>>5771857
I really can't understand you people.
And then you wonder why a good chunk of divorces fail miserably.

>> No.5772555

I'd rather be alone.

>> No.5772561

>>5771918
>tfw feel like this and have a partner that's a normal fag
fucking help me /lit/ I'm going to kill myself one of these days

>> No.5772576

>>5771819
I generally prefer so much personal space and time that relationships don't really work that well.

>> No.5772581

>>5772553
>I really can't understand you people.
the idea that your SO should share your interests is teenager bullshit. especially teenagers who had quirky interests. you need to grow out of it, that's not how you look for a partner.
>a good chunk of divorces fail miserably
you mean they get back together?

>> No.5772588

>>5771819
no interests only because that doesnt matter, as long as they are likeable people. but then again, i dont give two shits about being alone forever, and i dont believe in "love"

>> No.5772618

>>5772553
this is me >>5771857

I'm not saying I want a gf who is dumb or entirely incompatible with my interests, I just don't want one that shares my particular interests of reading serious literature and studying history. Although I enjoy those things and feel they are constructive, I like my relationships with friends and girls to be a break from that. Most "intellectuals" I've known who carry that shit into their social lives are actually stupider than my pleb friends.

My earlier post wasn't well worded, I'll admit, but I don't why you assume that if someone doesn't have the same obscure tastes as you they can't be in a relationship. That's where my "is that a real question" comment came from. It's strange to me that someone would rather be always lonely, that seems like an incredibly elitist position.

>> No.5772630

>>5771866
Just fuck with art school girls. They'll probably out-elitist you and you can have some passionate elitist sex.
Or godawful, hypercritical sex.

>> No.5772644

>>5771866
>>5771873

would lol again

>> No.5772653

>>5772630

>Just fuck with art school girls.

Shit no too many of them are fickle social butterfly hipsters. I'd much rather fuck with a normal who is going through her "Buddhist" phase. They're chill and relatively low-maintenance and generally all-around decent people who are at least a little bit open to spirituality and different art. Those jaded art school types can fuck right off.

>> No.5772673

>>5772653
>a normal who is going through her "Buddhist" phase
The fuck?
You're making up all these categories.

>> No.5772677

>>5772673

You know someone just like that in your extended circles or you have the social relations of Emily Dickinson.

Everyone knows a girl like that.

>> No.5772691

>>5772618
Because I don't see my interests as an obscure hobby as people do.
Of course I don't expect people to share exactly my interests, but I do expect the person to share my aesthetics and my values.

So for example my gf doesn't share my interest in philosophy, but we share a love for eastern european and surrealist literature while I don't share her interest for politics.

Aesthetics and values are a big part of what a person is, and in a way the art you love is a bg part of your fantasies and fantasies is what is made of.

As Edmund White says "Lover's quarrels are quarrels between book" i.e. the books we read define the love we create.

>> No.5772701

>>5772677
Not liking fickle social-butterfly hipsters is one thing, but what is your normal hipster Buddhist is going to art school too?
Doesn't sound "normal" to me.

>> No.5772707

>>5772581
Ah come on, and how is it that you look for a partner?

Your interests determine and are determined by a good chunk of your personality, sense of humor, culture, education, wealth. The art/music/movies you enjoy are not only the best predictor of compatibility but also of future compatibility.

I really hate this "faux maturity" that is so popular nowadays, which reduces itself in imitating mediocrity as if norms are so successful at life.

>> No.5772719

>>5772701

>is your normal hipster Buddhist is going to art school too

I never said anything about "art school" for this type. Show me where I said that.

>> No.5772722

I have a normalfag qt2t gf with whom I share little interests, but a lot of my hobbies are solitary activities as a result of growing up alone. I prefer staying alone really, but I think social influence makes me yearn for a relationship and it gives me confidence, which I don't like to admit (but since we're anonymous, why not). On some level I realize this is unfair to her, but my guilt doesn't outweigh my selfishness.

>> No.5772725

>>5772691
Fair enough. I can't say I've had any very successful romantic relationships anyway, so I'm far from an authority on it. And you're right, I'm overemphasizing the obscurity of literature and philosophy as interests.

>> No.5772726

>>5772719
Meant to say "if"
What IF the Buddhist is going to art school?

>> No.5772729

>>5772719
Re-read the post you quoted.

>> No.5772734

>>5772707
>Ah come on, and how is it that you look for a partner?
you look for someone you enjoy being with, which entices not trying to maul each other after living together for long periods of time, having a good sex life, being tolerant of each other's stupid shit, not idealizing the partner, not exploiting the partner and a myriad of other mostly little things.
>Your interests determine and are determined by a good chunk of your personality
yes and they're still not that important in the search for a partner as the other stuff i mentioned
>I really hate this "faux maturity" that is so popular nowadays
>realizing your past's mistakes is a fad
ok

>> No.5772743

I a qt gf who's patric as duck but not a pretentious snob.
It's great

>> No.5772745

>>5772725
There is a lot of geekiness going around literature, like how many pages have you read, or bragging about the most obscure writer and so on.

But I think that there is a beautiful and enriching side of art, one where you can use your deep knowledge not to humiliate others but to show them what you love about it and how beautiful they can be.

And I don't know my opinion is that if you can't find someone to share what you love and what makes you happy and if they can't understand it and see it, then it's not worth being together. Then it would be just too lonely.

But that's just my opinion.

>> No.5772746

>>5772673
He's right, that's a real category. They give very compassionate head.

>> No.5772748

>>5772722
What exactly are you guilty about? That you have a gf because you want to be normal? You like her and care about her though, right?

>> No.5772751

>>5772743
Is she actually a duck?

>> No.5772758

>>5772743
You're just fooling yourself into thinking she is patrician to justify fucking her. I've been there.

>> No.5772762 [DELETED] 

>>5772726

Then the archetype changes and becomes something that I was never addressing in the first place.

Just one normal pleb girl who likes corny Alan Watts quotes and appreciates intellectual things enough to look at my middling dilettantism as if I'm some sort of "huge book reader" superhero would suit me just fine.

Call me a fickle chauvinist pig if you want but I don't want a girl smarter than me.

>> No.5772767

>>5772518
Not him but I used to do that but you changed man.

>> No.5772769

>>5772734
>you look for someone you enjoy being with, which entices not trying to maul each other after living together for long periods of time, having a good sex life, being tolerant of each other's stupid shit, not idealizing the partner, not exploiting the partner and a myriad of other mostly little things.

And how can you enjoy each other company if what she likes to talk about doesn't interest you and what you like to talk about bores her?

How can you have fun with her if she doesn't get your jokes because she doesn't like the culture you like?

How can you have a fun time together if she'd like to go to the theater and you'd rather go to clubs?

How can you not maul each other when the music she listen to drives you insane? Or when she forces you to watch movies you hate?

Also how can you fall in love with someone that doesn't share your world? What kind of relationship is that? What kind of trust, complicity and understanding can you build?

Face it, unless you have a good chunk of interests in common all that drives the relationship is physical attraction and that doesn't last that long.

Naturally common interests are not enough, you need sexual attraction and a certain affinity in personality. But they are the basis for a relationship.

Without that all you get is a fuckdoll that cleans your house and she has a sperm machine that goes to work.

>> No.5772774

>>5772653
fag

>> No.5772777

>I'm very passionate about chemistry (in fact its my major)
she hates it with a passion.
>I like reading(that happens be my minor)
she thinks that reading a book a month for the book club I'm in is way much work.
I wish we could connect on a deeper intellectual level but it better than being alone

>> No.5772785

>>5772769
>this much rhetoric
Calm down, anon. We can get you a Buddhist girl to teach you compassion if you need such narrow standards to locate your dick in another person.

>> No.5772793

>>5772751
Autocorrect
>>5772758
Nah she reads philosophy, enjoys /lit/ books and films, but is pretty level headed and can enjoy cheap cape flicks and genre fiction.

>> No.5772811

>>5772785
I got a gf already anon.
I'm just pissed off about ppl passing as maturity accepting superficial relationships.

"Lol dude, don't be immature, as long as you fuck and don't kill each other it's all good mate"

>> No.5772838

>>5772769
>And how can you enjoy each other company if what she likes to talk about doesn't interest you and what you like to talk about bores her?
We don't need to share interests to find common grounds in stuff to talk about. I talk to a lot of people about shit I don't give a fuck about just for the sake of having a discussion and some of these people are my friends.
>How can you have fun with her if she doesn't get your jokes because she doesn't like the culture you like?
My jokes don't have to be references you don't get if you didn't watch X thing. They can, they don't have to.
>How can you have a fun time together if she'd like to go to the theater and you'd rather go to clubs?
Good things come from being open minded and trying new stuff you wouldn't have tried if you were by yourself.
>How can you not maul each other when the music she listen to drives you insane? Or when she forces you to watch movies you hate?
These are just about politeness and respect. It is not respectful to purposefully do stuff that aggravates others and force them to do things they don't want to do. The basis for a good relationship are missing if one of the partners think this shit is acceptable.
>Also how can you fall in love with someone that doesn't share your world?
My world is not my interests.
>Face it, unless you have a good chunk of interests in common all that drives the relationship is physical attraction
Nope. This keeps being a foolish misconception. It just doesn't work. You look for a person for what they like and think you are like minded because of that. It's far from the case most of the time and leads to a lot of disappointment when you inevitably find out. Maybe you're lucky and you get that one person who is like you and the relationship still doesn't work because your two personalities don't work together. I can't be the one explaining you how this should work, you have to find it out by yourself because it changes everytime as you fall in love during a relationship, not before.

>> No.5772845

>>5772811
>if someone doesn't share my super special vision about relationships then they're superficial and they're following fads!
this level of strawmanning is off the charts even for 4chan standards

>> No.5772851

>>5772838
As I said, it's not enough to have common interests and I agree you need more, but I have a hard time to understand what your world is made of if not from the culture you consume.

I mean, even the concept of love you have learned it from novels and movies, at best from your parents, but it's not natural.

I mean at this point my suspicion is that you live in a very small and organic community and that's why you are blind to how much culture affects you.

>> No.5772858

>>5772769
>being this retarded
You are going to fail with relationships if this is how you look at it

>> No.5772860

>>5772845
It's a fairly superficial view of a relationship.
Basically he says: hey as long as we are polite to each other, and have good sex that's enough.

If that's not a superficial reduction of relationship to the minimum denominator I don't know what it is.

He doesn't even mention common values. It's like the rest of the person is not even there, just politeness and sexiness.

>> No.5772863

>>5772858
I'm actually fairly good at it. I had three long relationships (between 1 and 3 years). And my current one has been going for five and we are planning to get married in a couple of months.

>> No.5772865

>>5772851
>I have a hard time to understand what your world is made of if not from the culture you consume.
everything i'm subjected to is my world and the culture i "consume" is but a tiny part of it. I have far more in common with a person who was born in my same country in the same year than I have with some 80 year old guy from Vietnam who accidentally read the exact same books I did.

>> No.5772869

>>5772865
I think the difference is that you are a native of where you are, while I have been an immigrant in most countries I have lived (and even the one I'm currently living).

Still I find your view provincial.

>> No.5772871

>>5772860
>Basically he says: hey as long as we are polite , and have good sex that's enough.
that's not what I said at all but at this points you think it's better to believe I did so I'm not gonna try to change your mind. I'm saying this shit for your good anyways, you're the one who's trying to imply that I have some ulterior motive.

>> No.5772877

>>5772869
>Still I find your view provincial.
Whatever, but I'm not the one who's afraid of the different here.

>> No.5772878

I've only been with literary patrish qts
I'm lucky

>> No.5772881
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5772881

I want a shorthaired hipster grill
But I am socially awkward and they are too extravagant and invariably queer

>> No.5772884

>>5772881
Christ she's ugly. Why not just fuck a trap?

>> No.5772885

>>5772871
For my good?

I don't think that you have ulterior motives, I just think and have witness a diffused populist mood of praising mediocrity and normality as actually being desirable. Normcore, new-normal, call it whatever you want but your positions are a reflection of this movement.

>> No.5772889

>>5772877
I'm not afraid of the different. I'm contemptuous of the bad.
And besides that you are the one that prefers your countryman to the 80 year old well-read vietnamese guy, because you have more in common with joe sixpack.
If this isn't populism...

>> No.5772892
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5772892

>>5772884
Don't be lewd

>> No.5772898

>>5772885
>Normcore, new-normal, call it whatever you want but your positions are a reflection of this movement.
I have no idea what any of this is.
>>5772889
>And besides that you are the one that prefers
At this point I have to think that you genuinely have poor reading comprehension.

>> No.5772901

>>5772892

>outwardly queerphobic
>moralist

Die

>> No.5772903

>>5772901
Newfriend spotted.

>> No.5772907

>>5772903

You wish. /lit/queer master race is ancient

>> No.5772941
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5772941

>>5772901
In English?

>> No.5773009

I'd rather have a meaningful relationship with someone. Sex is cheap.

>> No.5773184

>>5772767
Aw. How so?

>> No.5773258

>>5772769
talk about being close minded/conservative...

>> No.5773259

>>5772726
>>5772701
>>5772673
butterfly, you bitch, cut fucking with the timestamp formatting. Remove the spaces.

>> No.5773281
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5773281

>>5773259
wut

>> No.5773282

>>5771866
read fanon

>> No.5773501

I just want a qt gf that I can get along with. I'd really prefer someone intelligent, either more or less than myself.

Preferably more, but they invariably get bored of me when I can't keep up. God I'd love a cultured, worldly, intelligent qt3.14 who enjoys traveling, going out to bars, concerts, etc., reading and shit like that. Just an awesome person, even though I'm almost the exact opposite. I'm such a coward, and changing is hard.

>tfw no gf to help you out of your shell
>tfw no gf to find on /lit/

I know there are women here goddamnit.

>> No.5773526

Being constantly around somebody who doesn't understand you is lonelier than just being alone

>> No.5773538

i have met nice girls but their priorities are completely wrong

>> No.5773542

>>5771927
>

>> No.5773567

I find myself attracted to Type A girls.

I prefer to spend most of my time alone and I have taken to a 'realistic' minimalist lifestyle.

I don't see how I can ask someone to tolerate that difference in social habits and life goals. It's like I want a girl who would bring balance to the relationship but would be willing to do without the things that I have to assume are very important to people like that. I want that balance.

>> No.5773580

>>5773526
Very true. There is no bigger turnoff than someone who is not only uninteresting, but someone who is intellectually stunted. Who the hell wants to think for someone who has no opinion about anything?

>> No.5773589

>>5771819
I don't care if they have any interests in common with me, as long as they gave a shit and are sharp, and I can get along with them.