/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.563911]

I wrote this today its short but my first in five years. tell me what you think?

It had to be one or maybe two in the AM, when the noise stirred her from her bed at the bottom of the hallway. She was a much lighter sleeper than me, so upon her wakening in the darkness ,she shook me gently and I too awoke.
“Did you hear that noise downstairs Jacob? “ she asked me in hushed tones, I could feel how nervous she was. But I didn’t hear anything just then or before, so I returned the answer in the form of a gentle and reassuring smile.
She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as I sat there on the bed watching her and wondering why she was getting out of bed at so late an hour, after all I didn’t hear anything. But she rubbed her eyes and yawned covering her mouth with both hands in the manner that young girls are prone to do. She rolled out of bed; her bare feet landing softly on the thick cream colored carpet of our room, and straightened out the light yellow pajamas she was wearing.
“ come on Jacob,” she would say, “ we should go see what that was.”
She grabbed onto my arm, and with a gentle compression of my flesh, started pulling me closer to her as we approached the old heavy door, with a just little to low of a antique brass doorknob. For as imposing as the door seemed to be at that lonely hour of the night, I was a little disappointed when there failed to be a melodramatic creak like in all of those late-night pictures on Television. The shows that Mother and Father didn’t really approve of us watching, but once in a while we could sneak them in if we were quiet and awake.

[Anonymous No.563913]

We made out way down the darkened hallway, with that same soft thick carpet that so amply deadens the pitter and patter of little feet. With each deliberate and careful step we made down the corridor, I sense the pulse quicken in her veins and the anticipation of fear, build up in her.
Ever since we first met and came together in this world we had a connection. I’ve always been able to feel and tell peoples emotions but it was a special case for her. Every time she was angry I would feel it, or when she was sad and would cry the salty tears into the fabric that wrapped my shoulder I knew that same sadness and felt it to. I’ve always try to allay her pains, and fears and now was no exception. But as she grew more and more afraid, I did to. How I wanted to obdurate it and regain a sense of calm for both of us, But I never could. Not with her.
Her grip tightened around my own, as she put up that demeanor of fearlessness, Instilled upon us by Father. I knew it was mostly a false thing, forced and unnatural for a girl so young to do, but it still somehow made me feel a little braver too. And those vibrations of courage emanated from the core of both our beings met each other and grew stronger still. Just as I recall the safe feelings we would get when Father would come into our room after a horrible nightmare, and say “ Now now, don’t worry…Its alright there is no such thing as monsters. Now be strong and do not fear the dark again.”
“ But Papa! They were so frightening real!” she would whimper. As she recalled the oneiric world she and I just left, For so often times we share our dreams.
“ I know, but you don’t need to worry nothing will come of it, you have no need to fear as I’ll protect you. “

[Anonymous No.563915]

Father was always so strong and stoic, just thinking about him made me feel so much more at ease; filled with courage, And her to. I could feel it. This when we were twelve going down the shadow filled house to investigate phantom noises, there was no more fear in either of us. It was overtaken with insurmountable curiosity of a child’s innocence.
Its hard to say if she felt the same connection of emotion and mood to me as I did of her. She’s never mentioned anything of the sort to me, and me well…I just don’t see the point in bringing it up. I don’t think it would make any difference in the empathic relationship between us. At times I really want to tell her though. About how she feels affects me just as much, and I wish she would just control it a little better. She was doing really well though, as we walked, with a confirmed confidence springing from the once false courage instilled into our nature.
As we finished the twenty some odd feet of near pitch-dark corridor, we reached the top of the stairs, and she clutched onto me just as tightly as ever. It almost hurt, the way her grip made the tissue on my hand concentrate together and around her own. But I didn’t dare say anything about it. I knew that the way we held hands like this brought her a lot of comfort.
I watched her peek over the balustrade, and peer down into the welcoming room where we spent so many hours playing at house, or some other game she was so fond of. I to peered through the twisted iron bars that’s held in the path down.

[Anonymous No.563920]

As our eyes would flicker over the limited view we had of the lower level of our family home, the clamor from the falling of something that sounded like ceramics. When that slight pandemonium hit our ears I immediately felt the stiffening of her body, and mine too involuntary, reactions to a primal fear of the unknown darkness below us. More than that though the very air seemed to stagnate and lay still. All noise falling away from the night.
For the eternity of a few moments it was like that before things seemed to reawaken within the world in which we existed on that night. And the fear returned for a a moment making out a little niche in the bottom of our hearts.
She tugged on my arm as if to get my attention from the surroundings to her, and whispered as if to the air but directed to me, “ do you think something is down there Jacob?”
I was about to answer her, when I saw the hunched over dark form prowling in front of the window, although it was covered by blinds the light still bled in from the street lamps outside. And I pointed, not daring to make any noise. Her eyes followed, the sharp intake of breathe, rushing throw the canals of her throat, swirling in a mad rush to her lungs. And she whispered to me, “ do you think he is a good guy? Or a bad guy?”

[Anonymous No.563921]

Sometimes her naivety astounded even me, and I was closest to her out of everyone in her life. I started to speak and tell her that no…I did not believe this stranger to be a good guy, when he looked up at us with a bit of a sudden start, his body visibly tensing even in the darkness.
“ Shhhhsh,” he said holding his finger over his pursed lips in so cliché a matter I wanted to scream, but found myself unable to make any sound at all. “ Little girl, could you come down here and help me?” He followed up with, “ you see little girl, I’m lost and afraid, but I didn’t want to wake anyone up and bother them. But since you’re already awake, could you show me the way out?”
I watched my best friend and sister stand there wavering back and forth with the indecision of weather or not she should trust him, but I was frozen. I wanted to tell her not to go down stairs, but even as I tried desperately to regain control of my motor functions, as she drug me slowly down the stairs.
“ I’m Laura , and this is Jacob.” she said, with her innocent curiosity shining forth.
“well, hi there little Laura, he said crouching down with a phony smile,” he said nearly ignoring me, but we locked eyes and I stared at him with vehement hatred with eyes that I knew were blacker than this night. But I still couldn’t manage any real action, I felt so weak at that moment. My brain cried out for someone to stop the tragedy I could see unfolding.
He continued…” I’m lost like I said, but I’m scared to go out a lone. You know what its like to be scared don’t you?”

[Anonymous No.563928]

“I know what its like to be scared,” She nodded and my brain screamed I desperately tugged at the sleeve of her yellow pajamas trying to pull her away. But she wouldn’t follow my directions.
“You do? Well then you’ll come with me for just a little while won’t you?”
“Laura! Get away from that man!” The voice finally audibly screamed.
“Shit!” the utterance of that felon as he grabbed onto my sister, jerking her grip away from mine. She screamed and her face flushed red with tears. As she sobbed out “ Help me…” reaching out with her thin arm desperately towards me.
“ Let her go right now you bastard, I’ll fucking kill you if you don’t!”
“ Don’t come any closer or I’ll blow her brains out!” His panicked voice sounded as he held the automatic pistol at an odd angle to her then he would point it forward in my direction, for a moment and back to her.
“Please.. Just let her go! Take whatever else you want!”
Her sobbing was really digging deep, as I stood helpless looking on at the evil man holding a gun to my best friends head. And he snapped it forward towards me again, backing away towards the front door, a crying and paralyzed little girl in his hands.
Then it happened the thunderous bursts of gunfire, ringing out into the night. Nothing could of prepared me for it. Televisions most violent moments couldn’t, it was so much louder. So much more vivid and real. And again, and again the flashes from the muzzle lighting up the room. The blood flying splattering out onto the wall…that was accurate enough…so much blood poured forth from the mans wounds.
And she screamed, her eyes closing tight at each report of the rifle fire, from the top of the stairs. And when it was all over in that brief second she broke free of a vile grasp, that had no right to even be in

[Anonymous No.563931]

the same reality as my little Laura. She bounded forward into waiting arms moving towards her as well.
The Felon fell forward, almost in slow motion with the three 30-06 wounds in a one inch grouping right over his heart. His blood pouring out all over the place, all over me as he fell on top of me pinning me down onto the floor.
I couldn’t see anymore my sight blocked the two hundred pound man laying on top of me like a rag doll, but through him I could hear the muffled sounds around me.
“Papa! I was so scared,” she sobbed out, onto the tall mans broad shoulder as he held her in his strong arms. Petting her hair and kissing her forehead. Bouncing her just a little back and forth to sooth the shattered child hushing her gently.
“ I know, its all over now.”
She sobbed and it faded away as she was carried farther away from me. And so did the repetition of “ I know its okay now”
“its okay, its all over.”
Its all over I thought as the sirens wailed and the police officers came through the front door, the sounds of their boots slapping hard on the tiles of the front room. The sounds of camera shutters snapping and the lights were turned on for the first time.

[Anonymous No.563932]

It was a long time before I could see again when they finally lifted the dead off of me, but nothing was the same, the policemen where collecting information and statements from Father. Who absolutely wouldn’t let them talk to his precious daughter.
“She’s been through enough for one night. “ Is all he said about it and gave a glowering stare to the officers and they didn’t dare push him anymore on the matter.
“You’re both very lucky” I heard one say. “This man was a rapist, and a murderer if you hadn’t come out when you did…that sweet little girl would of never been the same.”
“I swore that I would always protect her, I couldn’t fail on that. But you’re mistaken, she’ll never be the same as it is now. “ Father said as he crossed the tiled floor sticky with blood and picked me up from the floor , finally someone again took notice to me. Half covered in drying blood soaking me through as if all the way through my flesh.
He looked down at me wit ha soft gentle smile which I returned with my black eyes…You’ve been around since my little girl was born Jacob, its too bad you won’t be here any longer.
“Huh?” one of the officers said.
Father smiled a bit raising his somewhat graying whiskers on his lip. “ Oh, Laura always insisted that his name is Jacob. So its just sort of habit for me”
“ My son has a Teddy bear just like that one” said the officer. And both of them looked down at me in a profound way and frowned. Glistening moisture faintly hidden in Fathers eyes, as he placed me in the bag labeled evidence.

Tl;DR? fuck you this is /lit/

[Quyen !mgEyLOjsnM No.563944]

I enjoyed it I guess.

[Anonymous No.563953]

Okay o.O

[Anonymous No.563955]

Is this in third or second person?

[Anonymous No.563962]

OP here,
Not sure ...I just had the idea of telling a story from the point of view from a teddy bear. I don't know why. I realize i might of messed up on a few parts feed back for improvement would be helpful. I probably rushed the last little bit just because i wanted to finish it its a first draft.

[Anonymous No.564011]

I was kind of hoping for more responses but okay ^-^'

[Anonymous No.564571]

I dont think dad gets to put evidence in the bag....

I linda liked it, for a first draf

[Anonymous No.564577]

Nice, despite your five year hiatus. I look forward to more, or at least an update from you, anon.

[Anonymous No.565376]

>>564571
I realized that, but I kind of wanted him to do it anyway. oh well I guess I'm going to revise it again today maybe i'll switch stuff around. >>564577
Thanks for the compliment, I plan on writing more I really enjoyed it when i was younger, and I still enjoy it. so maybe I'll post more when i write more.