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/lit/ - Literature

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5634670 No.5634670[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

As I caressed her breasts, kissed her neck, and burried my face into her hair, I whispered into her ear ________.

>> No.5634679

You are dirt.

>> No.5634687

Mayonegg.

>> No.5634689

Dialectical materialism

>> No.5634692

fuck off zeeburg, you fucking cunt

>> No.5634694

"In my dreams, I kiss your cunt. Your sweet, wet cunt."

>> No.5634702

I argue with strangers on the internet, you know.

>> No.5634713

>>5634692
What the fuck is your problem?

>> No.5634716

Farts

>> No.5634722

>>5634670
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

>> No.5634728

>>5634722
Ebin pasta

>> No.5634730
File: 564 KB, 800x608, Rug and Tile Floor-800.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5634730

>>5634713
Never mind them, baby. Work your magic.

>> No.5634737

"from now on you are my slave"

>> No.5634740
File: 1.61 MB, 3264x2448, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5634740

>>5634730
Thanks, anon-sama.

>> No.5634748

I would eat your farts

>> No.5634759

>>5634670
I love you grandma

>> No.5634761

>>5634670
ayy lmao

>> No.5634767

I love you Phoebe

>> No.5634795

"I hope I never wake up"

>> No.5634797

"I just spelled buried with two r's"

>> No.5634809

Finally we're together, Rei-chan

>> No.5634820

>>5634759
LOL

>> No.5634822

bitch im outcha pussy when i nut

>> No.5634842

I just had a wet fart

>> No.5634845

>>5634670
Ned Stark dies.

>> No.5634859

>>5634845
If she doesn't know that by now she's not worthy of your love, Anon-kun.

>> No.5634867

ps3nogaems

>> No.5634874

>>5634759
kek

>> No.5634875

>>5634670
Light of my heart, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. I will end you.

>> No.5634877

>> 5634670

I have aids

>> No.5634879 [SPOILER] 
File: 51 KB, 320x286, 1414279923806.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5634879

As I caressed her breasts, kissed her neck, and burried my face into her hair, I whispered into her ear note: This is a more accurate depiction of a female orgasm than the tearful depictions shown by doujinshi artists who have never studied human sexuality. Orgasm results in a general tensing of the body. Hentai depictions of female orgasm, however, look more like the results of torture.

>> No.5634880

>>5634670
'No.'

>> No.5634883

I love you, mommy.

>> No.5634907

>>5634883
hot

>> No.5634910

>>5634859
The only one worth my love is with me, always. My right hand.

>> No.5634928

DID YOU FUCK MY FUCKING MOM SANTA?

>> No.5634934

pure ideology

>> No.5634941

"dildoes, that ish to shay plashtick penises"

>> No.5634942

pssh...nothin personall....kid....

>> No.5635046

"you smell like your mother, but you will soon smell like my penis"

>> No.5635069

>>5634670

"Happy birthday Mom."

>> No.5635125

>>5634670
"please don't hate me just because i can't spell buried"

>> No.5635179
File: 55 KB, 720x540, smokemen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635179

>As soon as I touched her bread I came and started farting

>> No.5635188

Do you give your continuous enthusiastic consent to sexual intercourse? Please sign here.

>> No.5635194

>>5634941
>LEEEEEEEEEEEEL I GET IT Z>I>ZEK

>> No.5635202

>>5634942
classic

>> No.5635206

Woops. Can I borrow a towel?

>> No.5635207

>>5634670
"Happy birthday Dad."

>> No.5635208

>>5634670
"...if only you had a cock."

>> No.5635211
File: 10 KB, 287x175, dubs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635211

"Check my Dubs"

>> No.5635212
File: 22 KB, 320x204, ahh...saint joe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635212

>>5635211
thank you saint joe

>> No.5635214

I consider myself straight.. I love women and have never feel attracted to men.. AT ALL. However i like a lot using a dildo n my ***.. My girlfried knows this and says its perfectly normal since not for being a man i wont get feelings there.. She says she doesnt doubt my sexuality.. However.. I told her not long ago that i only like a dildo that looks like a real penis.. That i like to feel the head the veins and the balls.. I got scared of what she was gonna think and told her again i didnt like men at all.. She say dont worry.. I trust u and u know u are straight.. but you like penis.. Not only plastic penis.. U like penis in general.. Just like i do.. And i asked.. Are u saying that if a guy fucks me i would like it.. And she say yeess! Of course.. But its perfectly normal.. I could get touched by a girl and feel nice and doenst mean i like girls.. It just means i can feel like anyone else.. I wont try with men.. Im just not attracted to them at all.. I love women.. But my question is.. Is she right ? I like penis ? In general ? Real or plastic? And i love that she thinks that and doesnt even doubt my sexuality still.. But i find it weird.. Istn weird ? Thinking your man likes penis and just dont giving a **** lol? .. I feel like i have the best girlfriend in the world tbh

>> No.5635215

Do you smell fish?

>> No.5635220
File: 5 KB, 224x225, Laughing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635220

>>5635211

>> No.5635223
File: 78 KB, 620x387, Saddam-Hussein-exe_2511167b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635223

>>5635211

Thread's over, everyone go home.

>> No.5635231

>>5634670
check this dubs.

>> No.5635238

>>5635231
Goddamit. Gonna need to read thead first next time.

>> No.5635252

>>5634670
"m'lady"

>> No.5635714

>>5634670
"huhuhh????ß"

>> No.5635723

>>5634670
git gud

>> No.5635736

>>5634670
"a-ay, is it ok if we stop here? this is my first time and i don't wanna do anything before marriage."

>> No.5635737

The fact that so many books still name the Beatles "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success: the Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worth of being saved.

>> No.5635738

>>5634670
"ayy, lmao..."

>> No.5635741
File: 158 KB, 500x357, hibari bed.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635741

>>5635737
I'd probably sleep with you if you whispered that to my ear.

>> No.5635745

>>5635741
are you a grill?

>> No.5635748

Dear world,

You told me:
>Be nice and respectful to women, they will love you.
>Go to school, you'll make lots of friends and be happy.
>Go to college and uni, get an education to make tonnes of money.
>eat vegetables to get big and strong.
>a car brings you more freedom, get one.
>Get a job so you can be self sufficent.

I got from that:
>Friendzoned, and called an asshole because I try to be "nice". Apparently it's a bad thing.
>A useless college degree.
>scrawny.
>more responsibility, hell, that car is a damn liability, always givin' people lifts, going nearly a year without a damn drink.
>A job I don't need, for money I have nothing to buy with.

You lied, luckily I learned and saved myself from your web of deceit, I avoided:
>I lifetime of debt from uni.
>Getting too attached to women, seeing as they despise us so.
>Marriage, and ultimately, a costly divorce.
>staying scrawny, protean bitch, shoulda enforced meat eating.
>a boring as fuck office job.

Honestly, society, you fucking lie all the time, you never stop lying, you never will. When you say jump, I duck. When you say relax, I stress. When you say feminisms right, I'll be militantly sexist.

Society, I do not trust you, and you bought it upon yourself. So fuck you:
>People who tell me I need confidence to get a girl.
I won't get one.
>The people who offer promotions and high paying, easy jobs.
I won't be your worker bee.
>The women who want sex.
I AM THE COLOSSUS OF WANKING.
>The people who tell me to have a "life" and go out drinkin' every weekend.
So the liar companies can profit from me buying their expendable, disposable re-buy-more-ables? Fuck 'em.

Fuck the world.

>> No.5635753

>>5634670

"Gas the kikes, race war now."

>> No.5635761

>>5634670
inside is yellow ;)

>> No.5635765
File: 174 KB, 616x674, 1366848349813.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635765

>>5635761

>> No.5635766
File: 17 KB, 201x300, 1314658254359.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635766

>>5634670
>Mon chéri

>Is that my Tom Ford?

>Your ass is grass

>What would Zeeburg say?

>> No.5635772
File: 1006 KB, 300x224, Stop hibari kun.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635772

>>5635745
sort of

>> No.5635776

>>5635765
inside is yellow :)

>> No.5635777

>>5635765
I've always suspected these two people have some kind of mental retardation, and this is them interacting normally, sort of like children

>> No.5635781
File: 76 KB, 246x205, 1366981447736.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635781

>>5635776

>> No.5635785
File: 81 KB, 1024x678, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635785

>>5635748
Pasta?

>>5635753
Best answer in my thread.

You win.

>>5635766
I'd ask her to marry me.

>> No.5635788

hello

>> No.5635791

potato

>> No.5635794

>>5635766
>>What would Zeeburg say?
You're so kinky, Butters!

>> No.5635797

Had to post in my own thread:

>can I worship your feet

>> No.5635798

>>5635785

It has to be pasta, or i'm completely retarded

>> No.5635807

>>5634670
suck my dick, dad

>> No.5635810

>>5634822
fo' real.

>> No.5635862

>>5634670

>Your dog didn't 'run away'

>> No.5635880

>>5634670
>>5634670

>I am more lonely with you than I am alone.

>> No.5635893

>>5634670
Torquato Tasso

>> No.5635894

>>5635880
been there

>> No.5635900

>>5634670
if i have sex with you i'm going to feel like shit tomorrow

>> No.5635918

>>5634670
"I pooped the bed"

>> No.5635930
File: 43 KB, 720x540, 1010126_10152953926814453_8575910586094112077_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5635930

>>5635748
>Tonnes

>> No.5635940

>shaw

>> No.5635960

>>5635894

Don't make me start talking about my feelings, man. I'm one tiny excuse away.

>> No.5636061

fuck her right in the pussy

>> No.5636079

>>5634670
"You're a big gal."

>> No.5636093

>>5635960
Just do it, as soon as a janitor passes through this thread will be deleted. I'm sure there's at least half a dozen reports.