/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.557616]

Lord Byron, that marvellous, beautiful, sex-crazed man, deserves an anecdote thread. Give me what you've got.

For starters:
Lord Byron once received a letter from a woman who had fallen on hard times. She offered her young daughter's virginity to Byron for £100. He was intrigued. She added a postscript to her letter which really got Byron's gears turning: "With delicaci everything may be made asy (sic)."

The next day, our noble Lord received a letter from the woman's daughter. She called him a scoundrel for even considering the offer. How dare he take advantage of a family down on their luck? What right had he to rape a young maiden for such a lowly sum?

Byron sent the old woman £100. He sent £100 to the girl. His correspondence with the family ended there.

[Anonymous No.557631]

I'll try and find it. The one about the affair he had and then broke off and they started writing hate poems to one another.

[Anonymous No.557634]

Oh, here we go.

>In 1812, Byron embarked on a well-publicised affair with the married Lady Caroline Lamb that shocked the British public. Byron eventually broke off the relationship and moved swiftly on to others (such as that with Lady Oxford), but Lamb never entirely recovered, pursuing him even after he tired of her. She was emotionally disturbed, and lost so much weight that Byron cruelly commented to her mother-in-law, his friend Lady Melbourne, that he was "haunted by a skeleton". She began to call on him at home, sometimes dressed in disguise as a page boy, at a time when such an act could ruin both of them socially. One day, during such a visit, she wrote on a book at his desk, "Remember me!" As a retort, Byron wrote a poem entitled Remember Thee! Remember Thee!

Remember thee! remember thee!
Till Lethe quench life's burning stream
Remorse and shame shall cling to thee,
And haunt thee like a feverish dream!

Remember thee! Aye, doubt it not.
Thy husband too shall think of thee:
By neither shalt thou be forgot,
Thou false to him, thou fiend to me!

[Anonymous No.557635]

That man is a goddamn king. Post more anecdotes, OP.

[Anonymous No.557643]

no thanks, i'm not into fucking perverts who like to crank out terribly contrived pig shit so that morons may eat it up and call it a 'masterpiece'.

[Anonymous No.557649]

>>557634
That's quite well known.
>>557643
You're a fool with no idea about literary history, or Byron's contributions to it, or any idea about anything in fact.
Go post your ill informed opinions in some other thread.

[Anonymous No.557650]

Lord Byron wrote Mary Sue fanfiction of himself.

[Not Waifu Material !!W5tVkWskvWq No.557652]

Obligatory.

[Anonymous No.557653]

>>557643

You don't fuck Byron, he fucks you.

[Anonymous No.557655]

>>557649
Meh, it wasn't to me till I stumbled across it. First thing that sprang to mind. Sorry to bore you.

[Anonymous No.557657]

Ha, check out his wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_byron
Anyone with a wikipedia account who can fix that up?

[Anonymous No.557661]

>>557655
I still think it's worth posting.

[Anonymous No.557669]

>>557657

The Undo button takes most of the fun out if it.

[Anonymous No.557673]

Lord Byron was weak and sickly as a boy. His health didn't allow him to participate in the games the other boys played. Instead, he sat and imagined. He came from a mountainous part of the country, rife with legends of sprites and faeries. He grew up to be a superstitious man. One day, his relationship with a great love of his was ended. Byron was devastated and returned to his home to brood. As he stepped into the house, the grounds-keeper came running to greet him: "Sir, sir, we've found something in the back garden!" Despite his depression, Byron followed the gardener, hoping what they found was an omen meant to alleviate his suffering. The workers and Lord Byron crowded around a small hole where a glint of gold shone dully through the mud. Byron knelt to the ground and plucked up the object. He recognized it: a ring his mother wore and lost many years before. To Byron it was the symbol and suffering and misery. He flung it out into the grass and ran into the house. Today's omen was a bad one.

[Anonymous No.557679]

>>557655
OP here. We want to collect as many as we can in here. A poetry-battle with a waifish, mentally crazed, married ex-mistress is certainly worthy of a post in this thread. Thanks for your input!

[Anonymous No.557688]

>>557673
>read, expecting a delightful tale on Bryon's hedonistic dalliances
>depressing as fuck
>wtf did I just read

[Anonymous No.557695]

Byron was asked whether he thought his wife loved him: "No! I was the fashion when she first came out: I had the character of being a great rake, and was a great dandy -- both of which young ladies like. She married me from vanity, and the hope of reforming and fixing me. She was a spoiled child, and naturally of a jealous disposition, and this was increased by the infernal machinations of those in her confidence."

[Anonymous No.557711]

>>557652
Any more of this?

[Anonymous No.557721]

After Byron's split from his wife, he was broke and floated form parlor to parlor, staying with whoever would have him. A cultured, well-bred woman, a Madame de Stael, allowed him to stay for a short while in her home. She gathered her friends in the drawing room, prepped them on his background, and revealed Byron like an expensive pet or wild-man captured from abroad.

Lord Byron had such a reputation that three of Madame de Stael's female guests fainted the second he walked in the room.

[Anonymous No.557732]

Lord Byron met his two best friends, John Hobhouse and Thomas Moore, when each challenged him to a duel.

Byron was involved in at least a dozen duels in his lifetime. In one he was the principal. In another, he would have been the principal, but his letter demanding the duel was improperly delivered.

[Not Waifu Material !!W5tVkWskvWq No.557758]

>>557711

http://www.harkavagrant.com/

Here you go.

[Anonymous No.557782]

>>557721
I can only aspire to be as much of a fop and cultured gentleman with barbaric tendencies as he.

[Anonymous No.557806]

It's official. Even though it means barn, when, some years from now, I produce a son, his name will be Dante Byron.
And he will be the most badass little dude ever.

[Anonymous No.557825]

Lord Byron's mother came to stay at his house and was a prudish old woman. She wouldn't suffer any of his mistresses stopping by for a visit. Byron demanded that one of his favorite mistresses come by anyway, but she was required to dress as a man and call herself Gordon. She called on our dear Lord nearly every day during the Mother Byron's visit.

A few months later, the pretender Gordon miscarried in a small hotel.

[Anonymous No.557831]

/r/ing all the gay stories about this wonderful manslut

[Anonymous No.557835]

He proposed to Lady Byron (when she was still Miss Milbanke) and was rejected. He sulked and acted like a fiend. when Miss Milbanke returned from the Continent and asked to renew their correspondence. He was psyched, and she friendzoned him. After some buttering up, he thought he was in and proposed again. Friendzoned one more time.

After much sexy-talk, she finally consented. He remarked later that he only married her out of spite, to get back at her for denying him twice before. At their wedding, he misstated their vows and mispronounced her name.

[Anonymous No.557836]

>>557835

[Anonymous No.557841]

>>557835

that sounds familiar... hmm
didn't ted bundy do that?

>While on a business trip to California in the summer of 1973, Bundy came back into the life of his ex-girlfriend "Stephanie Brooks" with a new look and attitude; this time as a serious, dedicated professional who had been accepted to law school. Bundy continued to date Kloepfer as well, and neither woman was aware the other existed. Bundy courted Brooks throughout the rest of the year, and she accepted his marriage proposal. Two weeks later, however, shortly after New Year's 1974, he unceremoniously dumped her, refusing to return her phone calls. A few weeks after this breakup, Bundy began a murderous rampage in Washington state

[Anonymous No.557844]

>>557721

lol. damn corsets

[Anonymous No.557850]

>>557841
Lord Byron was Jack the Ripper?

[Anonymous No.557860]

>>557850

No, Lord Byron = Ted Bundy

[Anonymous No.557898]

>>557860

I lol'd, well done.

[Anonymous No.557935]

Byron kept a bear while he was a student at Trinity College, Cambridge (reputedly out of resentment of Trinity rules forbidding pet dogs — he later suggested that the bear apply for a college fellowship). At other times in his life, Byron kept a fox, monkeys, a parrot, cats, an eagle, a crow, a crocodile, a falcon, peacocks, guinea hens, an Egyptian crane, a badger, geese, and a heron.

[Anonymous No.557974]

>>557935
when I was young I genuinely thought that he had convinced them to let the bear be a student because of the way the incident was described to me

seems like the kind of thing he'd do

[Anonymous No.558224]

For those interested, Leslie Marchand published a 12-vol set of Byron's Letters and Journals in the '70s and '80s. Thorough and thoroughly edited. Much better than "Selections."

[Anonymous No.558230]

>>558224
yeah, its much better than the selection because its complete.

Way to be obnoxious, bro.

[Anonymous No.558271]

>>558230
Sorry to annoy. I thought people would understand that, while some "Selections" for some authors are perfectly adequate, I had not found that to be the case for Byron. My bad.

[Anonymous No.558293]

Rupert Everett did a good documentary on Byron's travels in Albania and Turkey last year. Byron proved to be more badass than I ever imagined.

[Anonymous No.558295]

>>558293
link?

[Anonymous No.558316]

[Anonymous No.558345]

>>558295
Lucky you, it;s still on 4OD. Providing you're a Britfag.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-scandalous-adventures-of-lord-byron/4od

[Anonymous No.558526]

He had a club foot and needed custom-made boots. I bet he did some kinky shit with those bent little toes.

[Anonymous No.558561]

>>558526
What's even funnier was how at the end of his like he was all like "SOLDIER TIME" and wanted to fight in a battle despite his physical deficencies.

A gimp legged fag running around shooting at Turks would have been awesome to watch.

[Anonymous No.558579]

You now realize Byron only got laid because he was a rich.

I mean how many bipolar fucked-in-the-head poets do you know these days who get mad pussy? (I mean real poets, musicians don't fucking count)

[Anonymous No.558590]

>>558579

Poets were the musicians of their day, they got invited to all the salons of fine-ass bitches to read

[Anonymous No.558596]

Was Lord Byron like an asshole or a lady's man or was he a gentleman that just had a lot of secks?

[Anonymous No.558598]

>>558596

He was an asshole

[Anonymous No.558603]

So we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

2

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And Love itself have rest.

>Anyone see the euphemism here?

[Anonymous No.558617]

>>558598
He was an asshole, and a popular one, but he was the kind of weird, socially maladjusted asshole who would read 4chan

[Anonymous No.558632]

I would be just like him if it wasn't for autism

[Anonymous No.558636]

>>558617
You imply that 4chan would hold the kind of people who are sexually proficient, surely you jest.

[Anonymous No.558643]

What steps should I take to become more like Byron?

[Anonymous No.558660]

>>558643
get off 4chan.

[Anonymous No.558667]

>>558643
1. Write and publish lots of overdramatic poems and novels
2. Become a PUA
3. Associate with rebels in a country that has nothing to do with you and help them with their war effort

It would also help to have a lot of money and know a lot of people in the contemporary art scene.

[Anonymous No.559113]

>>558579
Psssh you're dumb. He inherited his title from an uncle with a shitty, rundown house and no money for its upkeep. When he was growing up he struggled with inferiority issues because he was regarded as a poor louse by his classmates. He spent much of his adult life broke. When he made money he usually spent it quickly and spectacularly. Often, he would drift between friends' places because he could not afford upkeep on a place of his own.

He was suave as hell. His reputation helped too - sexually frustrated, restrained women couldn't help but flash their undergarments at him. He got laid because he knew how to get women riled. Wealth really didn't have much to do with it.

[Anonymous No.559440]

>>558667
Holy shit, Lord Byron is Che Guevara.

Except, what Che wrote about was actually interesting.

[Anonymous No.559783]

>>559440
And unlike Byron, Che actually lived to see the outcome of the war.

[Anonymous No.559835]

I recall reading an awesome play set at a chateau in two different time periods. It was all about math and sex (and somehow made the combination of the two awesome) and halfway through the play Lord Byron shows up and starts sexing everybody up. BEST PLAY EVAR, although I really wish I could remember what it was called...

[Anonymous No.559852]

>>559835
Speaking of which, have you seen the movie Gothic, where Lord Byron is the main antagonist of sorts?
The plot is best summed up by >>557652


It's amazing. dead babies and Epic homolust

[Anonymous No.559896]

>>559852
I saw it. That had some nightmarish moments, but it was great. It showed the night where Mary Shelly was inspired to right Frankenstein and Polidori was inspired to right the Vampire.

[Anonymous No.559897]

>>559440
You don't find women interesting? Fag.

[Anonymous No.560748]

>>559897
Romanticism is incredibly dull.