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/lit/ - Literature

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Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:44:53 2014 No.5374922 [Reply] [Original]

Any English majors in here? How the fuck do you address an e-mail to people that is also addressed to girls?

"Hey guys" sounds fucking dumb.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:46:56 2014 No.5374926 To whom it may concern, boys and girls, yadda yadda

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:49:06 2014 No.5374932 My people,

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:50:38 2014 No.5374936 my minions

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:50:46 2014 No.5374937 Cunts, XXX Regards, Ubermensch

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:51:41 2014 No.5374939 Sluts and Gentlemen,

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:53:04 2014 No.5374941 >>5374922 just Hello, i guess it depends who are they, your job colleagues? some shitty uni work team? your friends? some party people?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:53:11 2014 No.5374943 >>5374937 classy

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:56:45 2014 No.5374952 >>5374941 uni group work

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:57:34 2014 No.5374953 Hi, xxxx Regards,(optional) - Y

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 06:59:29 2014 No.5374956 >>5374952 hello team or just hello or hello ladies and gentlemen if you are studying theater or magic

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:00:30 2014 No.5374959 Dear Madam or Sir, I always use it, in case if you want to come off particularly Indian It made my landlady think I'm 40

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:02:06 2014 No.5374962 "Hey guys" is perfectly valid for addressing women. I even use it sometimes to address a group of women (with no men in it).

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:03:31 2014 No.5374965 >>5374962 some women get super autistic about this though, sure, who gives a fuck, but you don't want to purposefully alienate yourself.

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:07:36 2014 No.5374976

>be in last weeks of university
>0 (zero) friends
>think of this qt grill that has sat by me a couple of lectures in a row and tried to start conversations with me
>feel bad for not being less autistic
>email proffesor asking for her email address
>obsessively go through different names on the group email and searching their facebooks
>find hers
>email her wishing her the best in life and hoping it all turns out well for her
>she emails back enthusiastically asking when I'm heading home
>tell her I'm leaving next week
>"aren't you staying for prom!?"
>"n-no"
>see her on graduation day with her parents
>smiles at me
>swerve hard and stare at ground

Jesus christ I am borrdeline insane to ever think this was acceptable behaviour. I'm a werther if ever there was one.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:08:05 2014 No.5374978 >>5374922 Just say 'Hi all,' that way you avoid any gender bullshit

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:08:41 2014 No.5374982 For the attention of m'ladys and fellow gentlemen,

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:13:02 2014 No.5374993 >>5374978 hi y'all faggots,

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:14:27 2014 No.5374997 >>5374922 Greeting (hello) I am titled --- and I (myself) am very pleased (happy) to be contacting you in this electronic letter (e-mail).

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:14:52 2014 No.5374999 >>5374976 You deserve to be alone.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:16:48 2014 No.5375004 >>5374999 Th-thanks I will >tfw she's now living in New York with her qt Cypriot bf

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:16:53 2014 No.5375005 >>5374999 >implying there was any possible alternative reaction to that situation there wasn't

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:23:26 2014 No.5375020 Salutations!

>>	None !!BJiYgff8zf2 Tue Sep 2 07:33:30 2014 No.5375052 You write: Hola, guys and gays!

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:38:40 2014 No.5375070 Uni work group? Just be like: "People, So, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah lbah blah... blah blah. Thanks."

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:41:42 2014 No.5375078 Greetings, [stuff] Kind regards, dolan

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:46:56 2014 No.5375090 Insignificant plebeians, XXX Regards, Patrician

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:48:08 2014 No.5375093 File: 35 KB, 219x230, upvote.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5374937

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:50:14 2014 No.5375102 >>5374997 Ah the old english approach I see.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:51:27 2014 No.5375106 >>5374922 >Hey guys, >Hey everyone, >Hey, >Hi, its not that hard

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:53:26 2014 No.5375110 >>5374922 Holler!

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 07:54:17 2014 No.5375114

>>5375005
the alternative reaction was never getting in that situation to begin with
how do you make it through 3-4 years of uni without making any friends? that takes dedication.
alternatively
>see her on graduation day with her parents
>smile and acknowledge her like a normal human being then continue about your day

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:01:17 2014 No.5375135 Sup niggas, or the classic WAZZZAAAPP,

>>	Steki YUNG LEAN !!PuHUWgNu6I+ Tue Sep 2 08:08:50 2014 No.5375162 >>5374976 swerve lamborghini mercy also, just say "Hey peeps", peeps meaning people, women and men all being part of the same race.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:18:27 2014 No.5375198 >>5375114 >what is autism

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:19:13 2014 No.5375201 ATTENTION:

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:22:57 2014 No.5375216 >>5375114 >how do you make it through 3-4 years of uni without making any friends? that takes dedication. Same thing almost happened to me until I started getting a bit drunk on the way to classes. Now everyone loves me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:36:45 2014 No.5375253 Greetings, Good morning, Dear group, fellow students, hey assclowns?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:37:42 2014 No.5375257 >>5375216 how drunk are we talking here?

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:38:33 2014 No.5375260

>>5374965
You're limiting your actions to avoid a hypothetical outcome that could only result from some unreasonable being's actions (women who don't like being addressed as "guys" alienating you). Since the outcome can only happen as a result of unreasonableness, your avoidance of it is itself unreasonable.

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:41:15 2014 No.5375265

>>5375257
I've found that cheap wine gives me the best value for money so I swig usually about a third to a half of a bottle before I brush my teeth, then top up with cans of beer throughout the day. I don't become visibly drunk until evenings on most days.

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 08:53:47 2014 No.5375301

>>5375260
You need to make it to work/class but there are 20 unreasonable murderers outside your door who want to kill you. You know this because you can identify their faces and are familiar with them. The outcome of going outside and getting murdered results from their unreasonableness. Since the outcome can only happen as a result of unreasonableness, not going outside the door would be unreasonable.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 09:02:59 2014 No.5375332 >>5374976 universities have prom? what? well i skipped my graduation so maybe it happened after that

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 10:16:07 2014 No.5375525 >>5374922 Scum of the earth, xxx

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 10:29:17 2014 No.5375566 >>5375090

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 10:30:34 2014 No.5375572 >>5374922 do a funky book refernece amirite guys ;^)

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 10:41:40 2014 No.5375600 >>5374922 HEY FUCKSTAINS, Eat my chode. With the largest amount of sincerity possible, The man formerly known as Gary Coleman.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 11:01:11 2014 No.5375667 My compatriots and other traitors, XXXX Best regards, Napoleon

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 12:21:30 2014 No.5375847
File: 10 KB, 285x177, images (3).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5374922
Hello 3DPG person

You will never be as moe or kawaii as 2d. You wish that you too could withstand the ravishing tides of time as they carve proto-jowl ventifacts into your visage. In spite of all your attempts to conceal your impending demise with a variety of assorted regolith of dubious origins, know that your blemishes are conspicuous as yardangs amongst a desolate windswept plain.

Although life has given you the opportunity to become one with the universal; to embody the Zeit-Weltgeist and become a catalyst for history, you remain entrapped in the proverbial hamster wheel of "metaphysical crisis"that vanitas auteurs had long tackled hither to.

Despair if you must, but please do it while attending to the needs of your Goddess Hatsune Miku.

Sincerely,
Anon

Best regards,

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 12:24:15 2014 No.5375854 "Hello people," "Hey y'all," (this is always easy bc I'm in texas) "Hey,"

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 12:38:21 2014 No.5375882 Jesus christ, have any of you ever talked to another living thing before? Just say "Hey everyone," or even just "Hey"

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 13:28:39 2014 No.5375997 File: 67 KB, 558x750, louis-ck.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [Greetings\|Hi\|Hello\|Salutations\|Good {day\|morning\|afternoon\|evening}\|Hey] + [all\|everyone\|team\|friends\|yall\|homies\|fellow cocksucking faggot cunt niggers with AIDS]

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 14:52:20 2014 No.5376242 Greetings, plebeians.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 14:56:40 2014 No.5376256 >>5374922 Dear everyone, I'm a faggot. Sincerely, Anon.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 14:57:44 2014 No.5376262 >Hi, long time no see. I switched schools, but not because of you. I've been really lonely this summer, thrift shopping is fun tho, how have you been?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:09:13 2014 No.5376297 Dear Sluppies & Cwooks Sluppies is the nice way to say slut pies.

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:17:16 2014 No.5376318

>>5374976
I can relate. Except to the part where you took initiative and reached out to the girl you liked.

OP, can't you use

>Hi,
>Hey,
>Hey everyone,
>Hey everybody,

and I disagree completely that "hey guys" sounds dumb, that's a very common way to address a group of men and women

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:29:19 2014 No.5376377 >>5374997 I am writing to you from this jolly old rock titled Earth!

Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:37:13 2014 No.5376410

>>5375265
I know what you're talking about, and I've been here, but this is a dangerous habit to get into. Once you graduate, this isn't really accepted behavior, and it could easily get you fired/keep you from ever being employed.

It worked wonders for getting me out the door to class with crippling anxiety/depression every once in a while, but once it started to be a most days thing, I realized it was going to be a problem as soon as I got out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:38:32 2014 No.5376414 >>5374952 "Hello, everyone." "Hey all" "Hey" "yo niggaz" etc you're overthinking this

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:43:02 2014 No.5376431 >>5374922 "Hey"

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:44:47 2014 No.5376438 >>5376377 >I am writing to you from this jolly old rock titled Earth! do this OP, it's the only way

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 2 15:50:01 2014 No.5376456 'Hey hey people'

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