not the man I hoped to be

[Anonymous No.5253047]

Does anyone feel limited by their own intelligence? I would say I am above average intelligence, but recently I have come to realise that I am by no means capable of doing anything profound with my mind.

I feel like I can only scratch the surface of topics, able to question them but unable to find suitable resolutions to those questions.
I feel that I am at a crossroads between maturity and intelligence, and that, as I grow older and more mature, I am further wandering away from what I once hoped of myself.

I read a lot, and write too, yet somehow I feel as though I am but a mere mortal in comparison to my ideal version of myself. It feels like looking at the mirror and realising I am not as attractive as I once thought I was, which is devastating not for the realisation itself but because the realisation comes from within a constricting circle of vanity.

Since this is the board focused on philosophy and on pursuits of the mind, I was wondering if you guys have encountered a similar realisation.

I hope this doesn't come across as tumblr-tier whinging, I'm just not quite sure how to adequately overcome the limitations of my own mind.

[Anonymous No.5253059]

>>5253047
sometimes.
then i remember that there is people more dumb than me.

[Anonymous No.5253069]

>>5253059
There sure is

[Anonymous No.5253076]

>tfw never going to fully comprehend the world of the forms and transcend beyond the lovers of sights and sounds

[Anonymous No.5253080]

how young are you?

[Anonymous No.5253097]

>>5253047
What you're actually experiencing is the cognitive bias that is manifested into a form of ullusory superiority, causing you to mistkaenly rate your intelligence and potential for profoundness much higher than what is accurate. You're suffering from nothing more than a metacognitive inability to recognize your true ineptitude, which has been fully realized subconsciously by your inability to fully comprehend philosophical pontifications. It's just that, consciously, you have yet to come to terms with this, and search for justification outside of incompetence.

[Anonymous No.5253112]

>>5253080
21

>>5253097
You're probably not wrong, except I am very much aware of my own lack of profoundness. I think the troubling thing is that I have come to realise that I do not possess within myself the ability to be a unique and special little snowflake.

[Anonymous No.5253122]

>>5253097
illusory*

[Anonymous No.5253157]

>>5253097
could you look at it another way and say that he is focusing too much on his ineptitude and not on what he actually capable of? does it have to be a negation of something?

[Anonymous No.5253162]

>>5253097

pretentious fag tries to flex cognitive prowess on anonymous thread where OP is already being humble

fucking idiot fuck off

[Anonymous No.5253185]

>>5253162
>being humble
>"lol i'm too smart gaiz it make me depressed"

[Anonymous No.5253200]

>>5253047
I'm only 80% sure I grasp the thoughts behind your post, but I share those feelings.

I would say it's less a matter of intelligence really. I just have a very detailed and thought-out idea of the ideal me or of what I would like to be able to do, so in contrast to that the shortcomings are very visible, too.

I can be a critic, but not an artist; I can ask the questions and reject bad solutions, but not find the right solution myself; whenever I discover something seemingly new from digging deep into a topic, I find it has already been thought of; and the more experienced I become, the more profound becomes the feeling of how silly everything is; how vain and futile and how similar to birds parading around their feathers half impressing others, half impressing themselves, not even really knowing why. And that kills all motivation and focus.

>>5253097
>>5253162
What the second guy says. You're disgusting.

[Anonymous No.5253230]

>>5253047

I think everyone feels this at some point.

I'm only young, still, but I think it's all about perception. I know that personally it feels as though all great ideas have been written about, all great theories (philosophically) have been in circulation for decades, and honestly it feels as though most of the academic field, excluding STEM, is already so flooded with genuine brilliance that in comparison I feel as though I really have very little to contribute. But, honestly, I think it's just our initial reaction to the daunting amount of brilliance there truly is.

You said you're only 21, and I'm only 19 so I mean I doubt I can really offer you any age-accompanied insight, but if you write and read as avidly as you say you do, I think it's these years that we have now that are meant to hone our true capabilities, rather than to perfect them. Whenever I feel discouraged with my writing (I write essays/prose/poetry), I just tell myself that these are the years I simply need to harness with hopes to understand who/what/why/where I am as best as I possibly can. Then, once I truly believe I can answer these questions, after the writing practice I'd acquired in the years previous I was living, I feel that's when your profundity comes into question.

These younger years are meant to prepare us as individuals. I'm sure you can't say with any great deal of confidence that you've amassed any certainty with regards to your ultimate surroundings. And in contrast to this, so young, I doubt you really know who you are as a person yet, either -- let alone what you wish to leave behind.


tl;dr, you're not alone, OP. I know i just rambled a shit tonne, but sometimes that same question haunts me so vividly that it has become a daily struggle to keep on truckin'. But, bear in mind, we're only very, very young still, and the fact that these are worries of ours to even begin with, I feel, is a hint we're on the right track.

[Anonymous No.5253243]

OP's post is intellectually dishonest, attention-seeking, self-affirming, faux modest nonsense.

In short, I don't buy it. Fuck off and kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.5253272]

>>5253230
Thanks for this man. There's some wise words here. I have also thought similarly to you, that these years are the beginnings of our self-realisation. I have a funny feeling deep within me that when I do finally come to terms with myself I wont be concerned with my level of intelligence in comparison to others, and that I will be content to be myself and see in myself the things that make me an individual. Whether or not those things are remarkable will cease to matter, for I will know myself. Until then, I will squirm around in this vane and arrogant circle.

>>5253243
I'm actually not even going to defend myself because I don't disagree with you. I know what you're talking about and I don't even need to ask you to elaborate. You are like the negative voice in my head, but you aren't necessarily wrong either.

>i-inb4 b-beta fagit

[Anonymous No.5253296]

>>5253272
>purposely acting beta to reinforce a falsely modest self-assertion

[Anonymous No.5253314]

>>5253296
What do you want me to do? I've just agreed with you mate?

I don't quite understand the false modesty part? Are you suggesting that my writting shuld hav reflected my intelegence moar or wut? How exactly am I being falsely modest? I do need you to elaborate on that

[Anonymous No.5253328]

OP, a big problem is that you're comparing yourself to others for the sake of the comparison itself. What probably once started as a search for truth, in your studying philosophy, has now become a vain wish to contribute and become important.

Just return to learning, instead of wanting to teach.You say it discourages you that there already is all this brilliance in circulation; benefit from that brilliance instead of disdaining it!

Let that ego go and focus on what's important, man.

[Anonymous No.5253350]

>>5253328
oath, thanks man.

[Anonymous No.5253357]

>>5253350
You're very welcome.

[Anonymous No.5253363]

>>5253357
did you ever struggle with vanity? I feel like that's a huge problem of mine right now, and I'm not exactly sure of how to let go of my own self-importance haha

[Anonymous No.5253387]

Working to improve your limitations is far more satisfying than relying on natural talents.

[Anonymous No.5253406]

>>5253363
We all struggle with vanity one way or another. Among the 7 sins, Superbia is called the mother of all sin.

It's extremely difficult to lose arrogance. Very frankly, the best thing to do is to set goals for yourself. Decide what you want to do with your life and work towards it. Right now, your mindset revolves around you. Change that, find a passion and apply yourself to it. Understand your mental faculties to be tools, not trophies.

Don't confuse the finger that points to the moon with the moon itself.