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/lit/ - Literature

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5188180 No.5188180 [Reply] [Original]

How do I make intelligent people believe I'm intelligent without actually being intelligent?

>> No.5188187
File: 192 KB, 481x347, w4534tt.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188187

>>5188180
write a novel and fill it with abstruse technical language

>> No.5188197

Tell them to go read Kant or Hume when they say something to you

It works because nobody actually reads them

>> No.5188219

>>5188180
Always carry an impressive book around, don't talk very much, and when you do talk make sure that you can say something along the lines of "it reminds me of that passage in X impressive book" or "it's sort of like this article I read in X impressive publication."

Also you should always be wearing a 3 piece suit.

>> No.5188223

Be born Jewish.

>> No.5188236

>>5188187

>missing the point

>> No.5188240

>>5188180

Plagiarize Wikipedia and throw words that you don't even know the meaning of into your daily vocabulary.

>> No.5188243

>>5188180
frequently reference famous literary authors, pronouncing their names in their original accent

>> No.5188245
File: 157 KB, 625x704, Writing-Tips-from-Famous-Writers-10.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188245

>>5188180

Buy a copy (not an ebook, get a physical book) of something like Ulysses or Finnegans Wake and bring it to a coffee shop, library, plaza, wherever. Oh, and bring a pen.

Sit there for two hours staring at the pages. To be extra convincing, scribble something down in the margins every couple of minutes, and turn the page every so often.

Everyone will think you're super smart, then you can post on /lit/ just how patrician you are for reading Joyce. Make sure to throw in a few slurs directed at genre fiction, and you're golden.

Good luck OP!

>> No.5188256

be eloquent and you can get away with any bullshit

read wikipedia articles of authors and philosophers and when you're having a conversation about them with people keep bringing up details of their lives instead of actually discussing the books and ideas

most people will be really well-read in only one thing so if you know a few things about everything you can always dodge them, take the subject to a course where they can't follow you

watch famous bullshitters like christopher hitchens and see how graciously they do that

>> No.5188262

step one: look up logical fallacies
step two: use them around illogical people
step three: when called out say you were trolling

>> No.5188281
File: 22 KB, 460x276, Christopher-Hitchens-007.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188281

Take the Hitchens route and discount any person's opinion other than your own.

If you do it often enough, a buch of retards on the internet will think you're really smart; read all of your books; act really smug for parroting your banal observations; and bow down to you as if you were a god.

>> No.5188283

talk little and only when you know that you're right

>> No.5188289

>>5188197
You're legitimately retarded, huh?

>> No.5188290

>>5188262
intelligent people will likely take you for either a high school sophomore or an aspergers case if you try this.

>> No.5188291

Have reserve. Say less than you know. Do not rush to respond or humm and haww in place of giving a prompt response; a few seconds silence is more intelligent than "uhh, lemme think... uh, you know, it was kinda..."

Use rare but ordinary words, not rare and flashy words, e.g. "in the lee of the wind" versus "protected from meteorological phenomena by an obstructing object." The latter is peacocking. The former is subtly apt. Precise terminology like "subtly apt" is too precise for everyday speech. "It hits the nail on the head" is too vulgar. Try for something subtly unusual yet nonchalant like "That's the best way to describe it."

Do not wear patterns, graphics, printed text or more than two colours (excluding the greyscale.) Patterns take some visual intelligence to coordinate and are not bad in themselves.

Get a short back and sides haircut.
It is never acceptable to wear a mullet. Undercuts with enormous fringes are not much better.
Long hair is acceptable if you have it maintained by a female or gay hairstylist (the experts on long hair for temporary cultural reasons.) Fringes are not acceptable: either part it in the middle, towards the middle, or at the side of the crown; a hair part demonstrates some basic grooming. The same applies to medium length hair.

Beards have a wild, masculine look to them; potentially vulgar.
Clean shaven faces have been the civilised standard since Augustus.
Moustaches reek of hardware-store-clerk compromise unless you're a soldier or cop, where discipline and aggression go hand in hand.
Van Dykes are acceptable.
Goatees without a moustache are not.
A neatly trimmed beard is acceptable on an older man who dresses somewhat formally, preferably with some grey hair.
Shaving daily is proof of daily washing.

Do not wear sports or gym wear outside sports or the gym.
The only acceptable sock colour is black. Shoes may be in brown or black, leather or suede; grey suede is also acceptable; grey leather is not. Everything else is vulgar.

>> No.5188304

>>5188289
You're legitimately autistic, huh?

>> No.5188320

>>5188290
step four: when called an autistic drop out demonstrate the limits of pure logic using goedel's theorem
step five: prophet

>> No.5188331

>>5188291
Shit, I've been doing almost all of those things. No wonder people keep telling me I seem intelligent.

>> No.5188335

Who is that girl?

>> No.5188339

>>5188291
I was reading this and for a second I felt really smart and distinguished and then I found a macaroni in my pubes.

>> No.5188360

You do realize the energy you would use to present the illusion of intelligence would be much greater than actually picking up a book and reading.

>> No.5188373

>>5188360
Shh! Don't tell him that. The trick of there being no trick is the trick that we actually intelligent people tell unintelligent people so that they won't infect our deep conversations with their fashionable shallowness.

>> No.5188375

>>5188335
nerd chick from modern family

grew up to have giant boobs mang, god bless puberty

>> No.5188378

>>5188335
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfbmQYJEyKA

>> No.5188387

>>5188375
ya, puberty, not all the shit they put in the water

>> No.5188402
File: 19 KB, 454x303, harvey-3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188402

>>5188180
"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, 'In this world, Elwood, you must be,' — she always called me Elwood — 'In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

>> No.5188405

>>5188373
Damn, I'm the biggest idiot in the world for spilling the beans!

>> No.5188421

idk why you would want people to believe you're intelligent but just read a lot and work hard to understand if you need to

>> No.5188429

>>5188405
Well, you can stay in our kool kids klub as long as you don't eat the beans.

>> No.5188444

>>5188256
>be eloquent and you can get away with any bullshit
This. Also make sure you have an air of seriousness and confidence around you when you talk to smart people. However, you should also try to appear passionate about or at least interested in something at the same time.
So:
- Look confident
- Be eloquent
- Bonus: learn a foreign language.

That's basically it.
Works for me every time. I am a fucking autistic retard, but people ALWAYS assume I am 'the smart one' and set higher standards for me.
It was like this since I was a fucking kid in the 1st grade and it's still true now. I don't even know why, exactly, but I assume these are the main reasons.
Although it also makes me upset when I realize I am not nearly as smart as I appear to be and say a lot of bullshit.

>> No.5188449

>>5188180
An idiot will never convince an intelligent person that he isn't stupid. If people can't see through your bullshit, you're smarter in a way.

>> No.5188471
File: 5 KB, 224x225, niggawhat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188471

>>5188360
>Actively making an effort to become intelligent.
>Not disassociating with societal standards of good character and simply picking up a book out of curiosity with no regard to building knowledge for the sake of building knowledge.
Holy fuck you faggot

>> No.5188478

>>5188291
Hahaha...
>The only acceptable sock colour is black.

Really, it's the only thing I disagree with on your list, but it sure stuck out.

Also, beware that this advise IS incredibly try-hard. Sometimes you're in company that is sensitive to this, and your insecurities will come off as a form of stupidity.

>> No.5188485

>>5188478
*advice

Oops.

>> No.5188489

>>5188471
being able to make that post means that you're just playing the game too

>> No.5188514

>oh man /lit/ they read all those paper things they must be smart hey guys what book should i hold in my hand to look as smart as you hurr
fuck off

>> No.5188521

Become their leader. If you get people to follow you, it does not matter if you are as dumb as a bell. But you will have to pay a high price, your soul.

Can you live without a soul?

>> No.5188523

>>5188514
>Implies implying of well read
>Can't into second hand perfect grammar
Killself

>> No.5188530

>>5188489
You associate cyber bullying with those who try to appear intelligent to others?

>> No.5188536

>>5188523
no u

>> No.5188542

>>5188530
S-stop triggering me, Dad!

>> No.5188544

>>5188180
This may be a lost cause, as an intelligent person, should they live up to the label, will be well-prepared to identify your limited nature via the flimsiness of your ruse. Jeering and being dismissive of other's statements seems to be effective between idiots, though, so you may find profit in that direction with particularly insecure people.

>> No.5188551

>>5188530
nah, i just meant that judging by what you typed your motivation for any intellecutal pursuits was just as superficial as whoever you replied to but with an another layer of self-awareness

>> No.5188570

>>5188551
But you have to admit; mine was deeper thus making me the more intelligent one.

>> No.5188577

>>5188570
The opposite of depth is not shallowness but breadth.

>> No.5188578

Pointless endeavour OP. In order to identify wise men you have to be wise, so by the time that you've figured out who it is you are trying to convince that you are wise, you will have already become wise yourself.
Another paradox is that it's impossible to deceive a wise man, because as soon as you've deceived him, he's no longer wise (and it's doubtful he ever was). So what you are really asking is, "how do I convince dumb people that I am wise." Well, you appeal to their vanity. To convince sci you are wise, you will need to have scored highly on an IQ test. To convince lit you are wise, you will have to prove you've journeyed through the Canon starting with the Greeks. To convince pol that you are wise, you will have to gas the kikes, race war now.

>> No.5188581

>>5188570
sure, self awareness seems vaguely related intelligence in my experience

>> No.5188593

>>5188180
Refer to books as "texts" and a body of work as an "oeuvre". Also inform people how some books are "objectively" better than others.

>> No.5188608
File: 92 KB, 400x407, 1345759281512.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188608

>>5188578
>To convince sci you are wise, you will need to have scored highly on an IQ test.

>> No.5188610

>>5188593
They are though.

:^)

>> No.5188623

>>5188578
And who are the wisest of the wise?

>> No.5188630

>>5188608
It's not hard to score high on an IQ test. Just study to the point that your life is nothing but studying and your fondest memories are the few hours a year that you spend masturbating to photos of classmates who'll never have sex with you or even acknowledge you as a human because you're a disgusting ape who knows nothing of life outside of STEM textbooks.

>> No.5188636

>>5188478
It's forcefully expressed.
It could be called try-hard or insecure, but these are secondary responses, basically accusations prompted by anger, even slander.
I don't think that you have any anger towards my post, rather that you have simply accepted the words used by people who typically respond that way to my kind of tone.

I'm aware that I have no authority, but I find the whole "in my humble opinion" stuff tiresome.
People have firm expectations and always will, but in our current cultural atmosphere, they are afraid to express them, and then react negatively just the same when their expectations are not met.
I don't want to be someone like that, so I speak my mind. Naturally I am less blunt and more tactful in normal social settings.

>> No.5188649

>>5188623
Those who walk in the footsteps of God.

>> No.5188651

Become an atheist.

>> No.5188653

i will never think you're intelligent if you namedrop/sycophantically defer to other thinkers and have no theories/ideas of your own.

>> No.5188654

>>5188649
those who try to be like god?

>> No.5188661

>>5188636
>People have firm expectations and always will, but in our current cultural atmosphere, they are afraid to express them, and then react negatively just the same when their expectations are not met.
>I don't want to be someone like that, so I speak my mind. Naturally I am less blunt and more tactful in normal social settings.

>making a big deal about delivering his expressions on the internet

>> No.5188662

>>5188653
good job nobody cares what you think.

>> No.5188680
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5188680

Become an expert in wine, memorize a few dozen literary quotes and cross them out from your notebook after using them, talk about "institutional problems" (different depending on your political company), be impressed with the intelligence of your peers.

>> No.5188683

>>5188662
I care what he thinks.

>> No.5188699

>>5188180
fug ariel is really cute

>> No.5188700

>>5188444
>Although it also makes me upset when I realize I am not nearly as smart as I appear to be and say a lot of bullshit.

dude this so true for me, the bad thing is, no one around me knows it is bullshit so I can get away with anything T_T

but I don't like to deceive so I refrain usually

>> No.5188704

>>5188240
>Plagiarize Wikipedia
You can only do this on the internet though.
>throw words that you don't even know the meaning of into your daily vocabulary.
But OP is trying to fool intelligent people. This only works if you get lucky or the people you're talking to don't know the words either.

>> No.5188718

>>5188630
"IQ testing", at least in the context of functional assessment, doesn't focus on fund of information but rather the processes of executive function, language, and spatial perception/reasoning.

>> No.5188725

>>5188180
Most of what signifies intelligence has nothing to do with intelligence and is purely social.

>> No.5188729

>>5188630
Dumbfaggot detected.

>> No.5188733

>>5188636
You're correct, I have no anger towards your post. If only I could dress with more than subtle expression, but woe...I am a poorfag.

So, I make sure that my old jeans are the correct wash for the t-shirt I'm wearing...
That I have a pair of brown shoes to match as much clothing as possible...
And lastly, that I don't wear anything that would be considered "cool" by teenagers and over-grown teenagers. (also known as middle-american 20-somethings)

I would kill for a wardrobe that included ties. As for now...I'm something to the effect of slacker chic. (which I believe shows intelligence as best I can)

>> No.5188800

Get a tripcode.

>> No.5188830

>>5188339
underrated post

>> No.5188840

>>5188630
basically
EQ >>>>> IQ

>> No.5188846

>>5188840
the fuck is EQ

>> No.5188847

>>5188840
I just wish I knew what you guys were talking about. My stereo doesn't even have an IQ setting :(

>> No.5188861

>>5188846
Everquest

>> No.5188882

>>5188846
>>5188847
Emotional Quotient
or Emotional Intelligence

>> No.5188883

>>5188861
Or equalizer.

>> No.5188890

>>5188882
is this bait or a real thing

>> No.5188913

>>5188890
I dunno dude. You don't think autistic people with high IQs aren't lacking something? (aside from the obvious lack of odour and hygeine)

>> No.5188921
File: 780 KB, 500x281, FbbPSed.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5188921

You're asking 4chan how to appear smart?

>> No.5188922

>>5188913
social skills

>> No.5188924

>>5188921
You think we're good looking? Even the most attractive trolls on /soc/ are a 5 at best.

>> No.5188933

>>5188922
Is that a form of techne, gnosis or phronesis? Which is measured by IQ? Which would you like most to achieve?

>> No.5188951

>>5188924
6/10 masterrace reporting in

>> No.5188963

>>5188951
r u a grill?

>> No.5188968

>>5188890
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

>> No.5188982

>>5188402
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8bCB7DHJts

>> No.5189003

>>5188704

Do you have autism?

>> No.5189021

>>5188291
>Van Dykes are acceptable.
Not if you're under 30

>> No.5189055
File: 41 KB, 600x450, 1349616672005.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5189055

>>5188245
felirino when I've actually done this before

>> No.5189065

>>5189055
I tried reading Badiou once but decided that set theory couldn't describe reality once I realized how hard it would be to learn.

>> No.5189642
File: 47 KB, 162x198, bourgeoise.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5189642

>>5188478
>>5188331
>>5188291
This is literally me and I was once described as "really smart and he knows it".

Time to get a new look.

>> No.5189653

>>5189642
Gotta keep the proles confused. You should try learning a new language too.

>> No.5189664

learn what Ontology and Epistemology are (ideas about the nature of things, ideas about the nature of knowledge) and then drop those words relentlessly

also read the New Yorker and refer to it all the time

lastly say things like "i have to confess something, I only got halfway through Proust"

>> No.5189675

>>5188402
>tfw you will never be butterfly's six foot three and a third inches tall invisible companion

>> No.5189685

/lit/bro's help me out here
when you get drunk or intoxicated in some way do you become extremely, let's say, pretentious? like talking about philosophy with the uninitiated and name-dropping 1 DWM a minute
i can't really control this so i'm just more looking for someone to relate

>>5189664
>"i have to confess something, I only got halfway through Proust"
top fucking kek

>> No.5190095
File: 84 KB, 250x216, Hobbes reading.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5190095

>>5189675
But I'm the pooka.
How about I be your invisible pal instead.

>> No.5190177
File: 41 KB, 511x303, dawkinsfuckingshits.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5190177

>>5188281
:^)

>> No.5190183

>>5189685
autism

>> No.5190184

>>5189685
>talking to people when drunk

>> No.5190197

>>5189685
no, when i get drunk i hug people and tell them i love them.

>> No.5190244

>>5190095
B-Butterfly, d-did you just ask to be my rabbit? yes! no take backs pls

>> No.5190409

This thread is proof that most people on /lit/ are huge faggots

>> No.5190465
File: 478 KB, 3264x1836, 1391404590162.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5190465

>>5190244
Well, if you need me to be a rabbit, I guess

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4s5oVXSJ_A

>> No.5190478

>>5190465
C-could I have a picture of your foot? You know, for luck?

>> No.5190556
File: 695 KB, 1000x667, rabbits-foot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5190556

>>5190478

>> No.5190569

>>5190556
I'll cherish it forever. I thought you more of a butterfly rabbit, something of a fake ermine. Please forgive my presumption.

>> No.5191711

>>5188180
Wear glasses and don't say anything

>> No.5191733

You can't. Intelligent people like myself can easily distinguish between someone with a powerful mind and a dipshit trying to look smart.

>> No.5191802

>>5188680
>cancerous post even without the trip

>> No.5192053

>>5191733
This.

I have a friend that use to be the biggest "goofball" when I would hangout with him. When he came to my house, he noticed all of my books, paintings, statues, the little inventions I make, etc. Now when I'm around him, he tries to impress me. He'll say things like, "it's unlogical" or his favorite, "intellectual", which he uses frequently.
I don't like hanging out with him anymore.

>> No.5193038

>>5188180
be hindu, jewish, asian or have a degree from top 25 school or have parents that are professors

>> No.5193044

I assume having a really hot and intelligent wife would convince people that you must be smart too (or be hung like a horse)

>> No.5193046

>>5191733
>intelligent people like myself
is humility not a virtue anymore? Who the fuck writes that they are intelligent?

Am I missing sarcasm or something? Or is it that I just grew up in the Midwest where saying something like that is verbotten?

>> No.5193066

>>5193046
I think this guy has a mental illness, judging by his posts.

>> No.5193071

Say as little as possible and let people project/assume.

>> No.5193079
File: 36 KB, 1024x768, hatchetfish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5193079

>>5192053
>"it's unlogical"

>> No.5193123

>>5188281
>Take the Hitchens route and discount any person's opinion other than your own.

This is such a stupid thing to say. If he didn't think what someone had to say was stupid, he would have absorbed it into his own opinion. Unless he was some idiot with >>5190177 pic related attitude. Thankfully he's not, but I don't know about you.

>> No.5193145

>>5192053
dude i have a friend like that

it sucks, he is 5 years older than me so he really tries to be as knowledgeable as me but he simply isn't. He went to good schools his whole life, that is why he can keep up logically but he isn't inherently smart.

>> No.5193152

>>5193046
>verbotten
srsly

>> No.5193154

>>5193145
It's probably a language problem. Can't into language games => can't into jokes

>> No.5193159

>>5192053
I'm incredibly intelligent, yet I'm a goofball. Are you rustled?

>> No.5193240

>>5188429
noice, subtle and clever reference

>> No.5193290

>>5192053
>I have a friend that use to be the biggest "goofball" when I would hangout with him.
I act like this so nobody suspects that I think about killing myself every day.
It works pretty well.

>> No.5193296

>>5188429
>>5193240
What was it?

>> No.5193301

>>5188197
kek

>> No.5193311

>>5188429
>>5193240
Someone explain?

>> No.5193312

>>5193301
Kant actually built a computer that assembled philosophical texts piecemeal by analyizing syntax and grammar and then put his name on this finished project.

So technically no one but the machines have ever read Kant.

>> No.5193315

>>5188180
>How do I make intelligent people believe I'm intelligent without actually being intelligent?
Namedrop McCarthy, Ulysses, Woolf and other shitty authors.

>> No.5193317

>>5193296
>>5193311
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1E7I7_r3Cw

>> No.5193414

>>5193315
>shitty
so far so good...Go on...
>authors
LOL NOPE!

>> No.5193422

>>5193414
authress?

>> No.5193423

>>5193315
>ulysses
>author
pleb

>> No.5193500

>>5193423
Ullyses was an auteur

>> No.5193510

>>5193500
i think he was asian

>> No.5193542
File: 214 KB, 719x600, 10250346_213728758838108_5302935560650564849_n.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5193542

>>5193510
which part of asia?

>> No.5194174
File: 148 KB, 300x300, 1388775915702.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5194174

>>5188444
iktf

>> No.5194181

>>5193542
A minor part.

>> No.5194193

to be honest if you use big words people are just going to assume you're smart
nobody likes to admit that they do this but it 100% happens
just make sure you don't go overboard with it

>> No.5194368

It's just really how you present yourself, we are what we pretend to be.

>> No.5194956

>>5188846
Something that plebs invented to make themselves feel better about being retarded.

>> No.5194987

>intelligence

lmfao

>> No.5196610

>>5188800
very good post

>> No.5196612

>>5189685
>getting affected by drinking
It's just a giant placebo and running gag

>> No.5196628

>>5188180
It's not hard to actually make yourself more intelligent. Why would you make things so complicated?

>> No.5197139

>>5188197
hey people read Hume. And I've heard of a few who tried Kant once.

>> No.5197196

>>5197139

I have to confess something. I only made it halfway through "Prolegomena To Any Future Metaphysics."

>> No.5197245

>>5196628
because hes stupid, duh

>> No.5197259

>>5189685
Yeah, I do, in a way. When I drink I talk a lot of shit, like I get incredibly enthusiastic about topics that I either don't care or know little about.

People don't seem to pick up on it, but I cringe when I think back on some of the retarded conversations I've had.

>> No.5197364

>>5188180
Reserve judgment, withhold opinions, and state only what you know, or wish to know.

>> No.5197398

>>5188180
Don't say anything, ever. But in a classy way that makes them think you're judging them. This effect wears off as soon as they ask your opinion about virtually anything.