/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.516151]

“Sep, why are you taking my pen apart?”

“I just wanted to see how it worked.”

“Well Sep, you could have asked me I would have told you.”

“I wanted to discover it for myself, if everyone just asked another person how something works nothing new would be discovered.”

By the way this is the day I snapped, the day I broke free, the day I never turned back from.

“Everyone has been repeating things for so long, no one wants to do something new, everyone just learns from those who came before. We walk where thousands have been and think ourselves special. Hotels are man-kinds breeding grounds, like an animal instinctively going to their ancestors’ sacred mating lands. Humans flock to hotels to fuck on top of the countless others before them. Why do we keep playing the same musical instruments over and over? We should invent a new instrument for a change; do something that could radiate through time. No one creates new sports. People are too satisfied with this shitty existence.”

Darwin was wrong.

“Now Sep calm down.”

“Did we stop evolving? How can a man think about what he knows and be happy? Everything I have stuffed into my mind is from someone else or the result of things that already existed. Nothing is new. God was right when He said there is nothing new under the sun. Its not that I’m saying everyone is completely like this. People have created things like works of art, or ingenious machines, but it is never something completely new. There are a finite amount of combinations for what we can do within this universe. The only way to get away from this is to leave everything behind. Start your own world and begin where no one else has.”

Click.

[Anonymous No.516163]

> sixth paragraph

Hipster bullshit?

> seventh
What am I reading here...

> eighth

>implying implications.

[Anonymous No.516185]

>>516163
There's a weird backstory to all this, but I'm going to post another section before I discuss it. Feel free to talk about how you feel about it all though. The hipster remark is pretty spot-on!

[Anonymous No.516208]

“Yeah, I figured I'd get a nice walk in even if I didn't find you.”

“I like that there is a moon in the lake. One in the lake for us and one in the sky for everyone to enjoy.”

“It's pretty cool.” She laughed a little I think.

I think this was the second time today my mind shoved me forward to say something I was struggling to get out. I'm glad to say this went towards the better side of outcomes. I almost shout it as I say “Heather, I am leaving this town, come with me?”

“What do you mean, where are you going?”

“I don't know, but I pulled some money off my parents credit card and I am getting out of here. I don't think I can do this alone. Will you come with me?”

“Yes.”

“Are you serious? This is not a joke you know.”

“I want to run. We can get out of here together.”

“Yes, yes we can. Get what ever money you can and I'll come pick you up when you call me, or text me.”

Spin.

Round.

And round.

And around.

It always seems like my life is a balance scale. If something bad happens on one side then something good happens on the other to keep it in balance.

Funny isn't it?

[Anonymous No.516196]

That was the last exchange of words we had. We left with an understanding of what we sincerely felt between each other. She may be right. Well she was right, but as always hindsight is a damn sniper rifle scope compared to foresight.

I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins when I closed my phone. Every light post and telephone pole I pass is a test and testament to my powers of control over my mind. At least I wasn't crazy back then, by my definition anyways.

|\|\|\|\||/|/|/|/|

It's dark and dusk has just settled in when I pull into the park. I park, wow that sounds funny, and damn I need to stop saying funny. I park at one of the more hidden boat docks around the lake. This is when I realize, Heather could be anywhere in here.

I try calling her but my phone's reception is fading in and out. It's cruelly hilarious that texting is the solution at this point. Darwin was wrong. While texting for Heather's position I start walking on one of the many hiking trails. Something inside myself says that Sugarloaf Trail is the way to go. I've probably gone a mile or two as this point. Distances never seem consistent at night. I noticed that I've gone far enough along the shoreline to rotate the moon in position to reflect from the lake into my eyes.

That when I hear someone coming down the trail. I really do not feel like dealing with a park ranger at this point, but my legs are not moving. I hear “Hey, there you are.” Darwin was right. Somehow Heather and I found each other. Maybe our scent or vibe was working. She says “I tried calling you.”

“I figured, I was doing the same. Nice night isn't it?”

[Anonymous No.516210]

What say you, /lit/erati?

[Anonymous No.516231]

>>516163
this

[Anonymous No.516234]

[Anonymous No.516236]

>>516234
that's tom selleck!

[Anonymous No.516249]

it needs to be more abstract

[Anonymous No.516406]

Alright /lit/, here's the backstory. Feel free to continue to comment though.

Basically I was looking for an old friend on facebook when I found a guy who used to be such an asshole to me in high school. It was passive-aggressive verbal sniping and whenever I called him on it he'd try to push it off as "haha whoa I was just joking man let's shake on it."

Anyway, I went to college and life got better. I got a short story and a comic book published and got my degree in English - Writing. Now I'm a TA and tutor at a nice city university, finishing my education thesis and still doing creative writing when I can. I do stand up comedy as well and life is pretty good.

What you guys just read was a section of a story done by that same guy that annoyed me in high school. I last saw him a year ago getting drunk at the local Irish bar in my hometown and he works at a Gamestop. He never did college to my knowledge and never seemed to care for anything artistic or intellectual.

The sections you read were the last chapter of his story, which according to his "prolog" (he says that was on purpose, because the -ue is "obnoxious") can be read in any order.

>Why do stories start at chapter 1? Does it really matter? While I might suggest reading this in numerical order it is not the definitive way to consume my story. Just like memories that you recall don't fall into this predisposed chronological order that time has placed on us. I would rather you go through in your own way. Ruin surprises, miss key events, feel confused. Choose your own misadventure. Follow the road that calls to you. Then only once the entire work has been taken in can you see the whole picture.

[Anonymous No.516420]

>>516406

The thing is, this story has major narrative problems, and a lot of the protagonist's thoughts come off as gurgling water after enough time, but it still surprises the fuck out of me that he wrote anything at all. Even moreso, I'd actually like to help him with it. I do free-lance editing on fictional/non-fictional prose all the time to help pay the rent, so it's not a big problem. My issue is that I feel that the bad feelings I had for him in the past may be making me look at his work in too unbalanced of a lens, so I'd like /lit/ to comment on a guy they have no connection with.

[Anonymous No.516474]

>>516249
Are you serious about that, or did you feel like posting hipster kitty? After reading about four chapters (the first three and the last) I felt the writer was trying to be post-modern with really know what it was. There are constant references to everything that everything has been discovered and re-redone and how nothing is really new anymore. I think the guy thought this was a novel observation.

[Anonymous No.516528]

>>516406


Well so far it is terrible.

It is like you took all the bullshit plaguing modern literature and shoved it into one thing.

Repeated phrases that have no real bearing on the story, HIPSTER BULLSHIT, annoying self reference.

None of that helps the story, it just makes the protagonist sound like a babbling asshat.

[Anonymous No.516603]

>>516528
Well, thanks, but it's not me writing it.

Also, update, I've actually contacted the guy over this story, and we're sending each other messages about it. I'm trying to be nice.

[Anonymous No.516690]

I've just learned this guy does not believe in evolution and has a low opinion of scientists.

Alrighty.

[OP !W7v7vj9ibw No.516702]

Buck lay curled on the floor in the corner of the rustic cabin, panting slightly, his long, red tongue lolling out from the side of his jaw. The big black-and-tan hound looked exhausted, and it was obviously not from chasing rabbits—because his cock and balls had evidently just been drained. His balls were shrunken between his hind legs and his long prick hung along the floor in a soft coil of meat. The tip of his slick red cockhead still nudged out from the shaggy cocksheath, and the naked red prick was streaked with lashings of cum. A gossamer thread of glistening jism connected his open pisshole to a little slippery pool of slime on the floorboards.

His prick was still in the process of diminishing, the stalk rippling as it softened and the shiny knob slowly retreating back into the hairy cocksheath, spinning that slimy thread out as it withdrew. The big dog was spent, but not yet sleeping. His eyes were open and one ear was cocked and his wet black nose twitched with mild interest. Buck was finished, himself, but he was still paying attention to the continuing activity on the bunk bed across the room, where Old Blue was taking his turn fucking the woman.

The steady drumming sound of an ax came from behind the cabin, and Michelle Warden knew that as long as that sound continued it meant that her husband was still chopping firewood and that there was no danger that he might walk in and catch her doing what she so dearly loved to do—getting her ass fucked off by the hounds.

She had taken on Buck first, for no particular reason, since both black-and-tan hounds were equally energetic and enthusiastic and horny. She had gotten down on all fours on the floor and coaxed Buck into mounting her ass and throwing a dynamite fuck up her cunt hole, while Old Blue had pranced around them, yelping, his stiff cock jolting wildly under him as he impatiently waited his turn.

[OP !W7v7vj9ibw No.516704]

As soon as Buck had unloaded his balls into her, she had pulled his prick out of her pussy and moved to the bed, where she was now—for variety—fucking with Old Blue in a modified missionary position.

Michelle’s voluptuous body was sprawled across the bunk, her back deeply arched and her knees raised. Her lush thighs were parted wide around the humping dog and her creamy crotch was thrust upwards, so that her cunt was at just the right angle for the horny hound to pour the prick to her. Her bright-red hair spread across the bed and a blissful smile turned up the corners of her sensual lips.

Old Blue seemed to have fallen into a fucking rhythm with the steady drumming of the ax.

Whack, whack, whack went the ax, as the keen blade shattered the logs into segments, and each time the chopping sound cracked in the chilled, brisk air, Old Blue fucked his cock into the wanton woman with such vigor that he seemed to be trying to chop her pussy apart.

But Michelle’s pliable pussy took all the cock that the big dog could throw into her. The woman simply adored a cuntful of animal prick.

Whimpering like an animal herself, she met the hound’s fuck-thrusts with equal vitality and gusto. As the brute pounded his prick into her, she shoved her cunt down to meet him, taking his huge cock balls-deep up her fuck-hole, and as he drew back she twisted her lush hips sideways, winding her pussy around on his retreating cock and adding torque to the in-and-out friction.

“Oh!” she gasped, as Old Blue fed her a particularly lusty cock-lunge, tilting her ass up from the bunk as his prick plunged into the depths of her pussy.

[OP !W7v7vj9ibw No.516711]

Her whole crotch was lathered with the overflow of her cunt slot. Each time the hound’s cock fucked into her, he pumped more cunt juice out. The slippery, pearly pussy nectar ran down her jerking groin and seeped into the tight crack of her churning ass.

She arched deeper and clamped her smooth thighs tightly to his shaggy shanks, riding him from below. Then she threw her legs wide open again, giving the enthusiastic beast free reign as he wallowed in her cunt gash.

His red cock vanished to the root in her pussy slot. His balls slapped against her ass, swollen and solid and bloated with a big cum-load.

Then he pulled back out until only the naked slab of his smoking hot cockhead was lodged in her cuntslot. His cockstalk was drenched with cunt juice, the stuff gleaming like a string of pearls on his prickshaft.

He fucked in again and a mist of pussy cream hung over her jolting pelvis. Ribbons of the stuff ran down the sleek flesh of her inner thighs and a creamy trickle shot up into her fiery-red cunt bush.

Her firm ass swung from side to side and her flat belly pumped up and down. Her cunt hole was dissolving on the dog’s frantic fuck-tool. Michelle had already creamed when Buck poured the prick to her doggy style, and now she was ready to come again on Old Blue’s massive prick.

Michelle was one of those very lucky women who could come endlessly, as long as there was a stiff cock slamming into her fuck-hole—a cock of any species.

[Anonymous No.516719]

>>516702
>>516704
>>516711

Dude, shut up, this thread is getting good.

[Anonymous No.516721]

The usage of adjectives in this thread are making me puke.

[OP !W7v7vj9ibw No.516733]

Old Blue fucked on, stepping up the pace as the thrill built in his bestial loins. He was yelping and whimpering. His gleaming white fangs were bared in a snarl of passion, his dark lips rolled back. Dog slobber dribbled from his jowls and splashed on her belly and tits.

The blood was rushing in her ears, her heart was hammering wildly as the wave of ecstasy began to rush laterally across her belly and run like electric currents up her trembling thighs and into her crotch.

But she was still listening to the sound of the ax as her husband chopped the wood, unable to concentrate completely on the action because she knew it would be embarrassing, to say the least, if her husband were to finish his chore and walk in and find her getting her pussy stuffed full of dog cock. He might not have understood. He might even feel rather jealous. She could hardly blame him.

They were, after all, his dogs.

But what Dick Warden didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, Michelle reasoned—and it did her whole lot of good!

The hound’s cock hissed up her juicy fuckhole, slithering through the slippery folds like a submarine in a swamp, the fat cock-knob splashing in her cunt cream. He jerked back out, dragging her clinging cuntlips with his cock, almost turning her pussy inside out.

The ax thudded into a log.

The dog’s meat log thudded into Michelle.

The hound was panting like a steam engine and Michelle was doing plenty of panting herself, her big, firm tits heaving up as her lungs expanded and the stiff, rosy tips standing out like the valves by which those tits had been inflated. Old Blue yelped. Michelle moaned. The ax fell again, the solid thud punctuating the softer, moister sounds of their frantic fucking, the bunk creaking in protest under her jolting ass as a sort of background theme in these sound effects.

Old Blue was fucking faster now, pouring the prick to Michelle furiously so that he was stuffing her cunt hole twice between each thud of the ax.

[OP !W7v7vj9ibw No.516750]

Michelle figured she had better get the dog’s cum-load drained pretty soon, just in case Dick was finishing at the woodpile. She knew from experience that once a dog was stuck up her suction of a cunt hole, it was impossible to dislodge his cock before it was drained—not that she had ever wanted to, for she adored a cuntful of doggy cum.

Old Blue’s hairy haunches were a dark blur as his prick fucked in and out. His long tail slashed the air behind his ass like a rudder guiding his stroke and his spine twisted into an S-shape as he plunged in.

Michelle was really enjoying the fucking and would have liked to prolong it, but she knew it would be better to end it in a creamy conclusion than to risk having it interrupted by her husband’s untimely return.

She began working on the dog’s cock with all her skill. The wet walls of her fuck-tunnel clamped around the contours of his cockhead and cockshaft, clinging to every precious inch. Her cunt muscles began to milk him, closing in a series of concentric rings that rippled up his cockstalk from the hairy root to the naked crown, as if she had a magic fist inside her belly, frigging the brute off.

Old Blue began to howl with glee when her talented cunt hole began to really suck on his cock. He whipped his cockmeat into her with long, underslung fuck-strokes, his balls swinging like helium-filled balloons. His prick expanded inside her pussy and Michelle knew he was going to blow his cum-load at any moment. She jerked her pelvis, changing the angle of penetration, so that every inch of his long, iron-hard cockshaft was rubbing across her fiery clit as it fucked in and pulled out. She was ready to cream but holding back, waiting to feel the dog’s fuck-juice splash into her cunt before she let herself go.

[Anonymous No.516949]

>hipster bullshit

[Anonymous No.516959]

>first four sentences
Well this is kinda cute...

>the rest
Hipster bullshit ruins entertainment once again.

[Anonymous No.516975]

Our convo:

Me April 4 at 7:03pm
Are you trying to go for a postmodern feel to it? [Me trying to nice.]

Him April 4 at 7:07pm Report
Im gonna say no on principle, I really don't know what postmodern feels like or what it means. I was going for hey this is kinda interesting and semi-funny feel with a dash of satire and philosophical contemplation thrown in.

Me April 4 at 7:09pm
What exactly are you doing a satire of? I've read about 4 chapters of it, if that helps.

Him April 4 at 7:20pm Report
I don't think I have one overlaying theme for it. I poke fun at evolution the most I guess. I really don't have any formal approach to this work. Its about control or what people perceive as control and how that differs from what is actual happening. You think you are accomplishing one thing when really the tasks are no long contributing to the initial goal.

Me April 4 at 7:25pm
Okay.

[Anonymous No.517002]

>>516975
Hipster. Bullshit.

[Anonymous No.517031]

i blame state education. Writers are so paranoid about not being smart enough to be writers these days that they feel the need to appear too clever in their work at the expense of having anything to say. Ironically, this just betrays their ignorance and self-doubt.

[Anonymous No.517033]

>>517002
Not necessarily disagreeing with you here, but what exactly about it is hipster bullshit?

[Anonymous No.517087]

>>517033
He's a poorly educated middle-classer who has written a very poor piece of writing which has a few interesting quirks, but claims it 'denies classification' and doesn't have 'one overlaying theme for it' (sic.) as a way to excuse the lack of quality (and it really is lack of quality; massive absence of characters that I care about and telling rather than showing for starters) whilst spouting idiotic pseudo-philosophical bullshit and make broad, generalised statements about the world with hugely essentialist assumptions about 'society' - shit like 'hurr darwin was rong nobody tries new things I'm the only free thinker in a world of sheep'. This fucker has grown up in the ass end of nowhere, a tiny corner of the world but assumes he knows all the answers and is qualified to ponder the nature of things whilst dismissing education as irrelevant; he is the worst kind of hipster, who has read just enough to form a very one-sided opinion in regards to his immediate social and cultural surroundings but lacks true understanding of what the fuck is up. He then spouts nonsense and thinks that he has shat gold.

I am aware that OP is not the author. I have read every post.

[Anonymous No.517103]

>Basically I was looking for an old friend on facebook when I found a guy who used to be such an asshole to me in high school. It was passive-aggressive verbal sniping and whenever I called him on it he'd try to push it off as "haha whoa I was just joking man let's shake on it."

>Anyway, I went to college and life got better. I got a short story and a comic book published and got my degree in English - Writing. Now I'm a TA and tutor at a nice city university, finishing my education thesis and still doing creative writing when I can. I do stand up comedy as well and life is pretty good.


hay OP that is some pretty good fiction right there. You should publish it under the title "Projection and Transference".

[Anonymous No.517128]

>>517103
SO RANDUM XD

[Anonymous No.517131]

>>517128
no, not random at all.

[Anonymous No.517133]

>>517087
Steinbeck grew up and lived in a mostly shit-hole corner of the country as well. He seemed to do well for himself.

[Anonymous No.517162]

>>517087
Thank you, good anon.


>>517133
Steinbeck was also an inquisitive, thoughtful man. No one is saying you need to have a PhD to be a good writer. The above guy actually nailed the writer pretty well.

[Anonymous No.517189]

OP: You are clearly an asshole for bringing this story here just to get validation that it is, indeed, a shitty story. Did the author steal a girlfriend of yours in highschool? Make fun of you in front of a girl you liked?

That you brought it up here on /lit/ and bear a grudge to this guy so many years later, even though you are "successful," shows that you have a serious inferiority complex and crippling insecurity issues.

It's a good thing this guy is actually trying to write something substantial, even if it's not to your taste. He works at Gamestop. He could sit around jerking off and shooting aliens all day. Instead, he chooses to think about how he thinks the world works. Sometimes when people do that, they come to different conclusions than you do. Fucking deal with it, stop acting like a twat and holding your English degree up above his head like you are some sort of god. You're a spoiled shit that read many books and wrote many essays. Big deal. No one's impressed.

[Anonymous No.517191]

>>517189
op is describing himself not a school buddy.

[Anonymous No.517200]

>>517189

I bet you're fun at parties. You seem like the kind of guy who gets drunk and rants endlessly.

[Anonymous No.517210]

>>517189
I was afraid this might happen. No, I don't hate the guy. I was just surprised this guy is trying to make a book, and I would actually like to help him, but I also wanted to make sure my comments weren't tainted due to his history with me.

We're talking about being peer responders to one another, so if anything, we're going to be helping each other in the future, even if I disagree with some of his views.

[Anonymous No.517217]

>>517200
>>517200
Honestly, when I get drunk at parties I tend to whip out my dick. I don't drink in public anymore.

[Anonymous No.517224]

>>517189

>>You were mildly popular in high school. You got bullied some, but overall you had a fair amount of friends.

>>You may be attending college, but I doubt it. Too make up for this, you read. You like to perceive yourself as well read, but this isn't necessarily true. Reading =/= intelligence.

>>You imagine that you understand people and have a grasp on personality. Instead you're a cynic.

>>More than likely you are not currently in a relationship.

>>You don't fight for the underdog normally, despite this statement.

>>You haven't written many essays. Or short stories that aren't crap.

[Anonymous No.517244]

>>517224

[Anonymous No.517247]

>>517210

>>What you guys just read was a section of a story done by that same guy that annoyed me in high school. I last saw him a year ago getting drunk at the local Irish bar in my hometown and he works at a Gamestop. He never did college to my knowledge and never seemed to care for anything artistic or intellectual.

It's obvious what you meant to do.

[Anonymous No.517249]

Let's not second-guess people here.

[Anonymous No.517271]

>>517247
Yeah, I'm just a big ol' sonofabitch. I was the one who said you don't need a degree to be a good writer, but whatever.

[Anonymous No.517278]

>>517210
If you're actually serious, get him to start reading.

[Anonymous No.517284]

>>517278
I thought about that, but I thought it might sound rude?

[Anonymous No.517336]

>>517284
It's better than "Your story is shit. I posted it on an anonymous message board, they made fun of me because they thought I wrote it, so I told them all what a loser you are and we lol'd."