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/lit/ - Literature


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515114 No.515114 [Reply] [Original]

Some 300 years ago, the magicians of the dynasty of Ve successfully opened a portal into Heaven, and the head of the dynasty invaded and conquered it. As a consequence, he was able to establish himself as Emperor, because he now owned the afterlife.

End prologue, start current events - Imperial Heaven is only accessible by members of the royal line. The priests naturally preach that everyone who leaves a virtuous life of obedience and piety will have their just reward, but in reality, the souls of the dead are not allowed entry into the afterlife and are instead discarded. The empire is ruled with ingenious mastery, since every emperor has all the emperors who came before him to advise him, giving him more experience than any other king or prince on the planet.

A group of rebels devises a plot to destabilize the empire and win independence for their part of it - they incite a riot, burn down parts of the capitol city, and make an assassination attempt on the current emperor, which fails. However, all of this is just a smokescreen, since their real plan is to replace the newborn heir to the throne (gender to be determined at a later date) with a different baby.

That way, they have a member of the royal blood in their hands, and now the plan is to basically turn his or her soul into a virus which, once it enters Imperial Heaven, will corrupt and destroy it, eliminating the source of the empire's power.

This will coincidentally also destroy the afterlife, but omlettes and eggs.

>> No.515144

If your writing style is any good this could be marketable.

>> No.515162

>>515144
I'm not yet clear on how exactly you turn a person's soul into a virus, though. I don't want it to just be a random magic spell they cast upon the heir and now they have a walking infection, I want it...at least in part to be a function of the heir's personality and/or upbringing.

But it also can't just be "oh, they make the poor kid into an unpleasant person" because I don't imagine the royal line are all very good people. What is soul poison?

>> No.515163

I'd read that.

>> No.515174
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515174

Conquering heaven? I call blasphemy.

>> No.515186

>>515174
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."

>> No.515217

>fantasy idea
>good

>> No.515225

i couldn't even get through the whole first sentence of your post.. sorry

>> No.515229

There is no "good" plot. There is only good writing and bad writing. You are a writer when people want to read your book even if they know the story. Having a good plot doesn't work against you but it is the most basic of mistakes to present the plot of your story to people and then judge from that if people would like it. Don't do that.

>> No.515239

>>515229
I actually disagree - bad plot is plot with holes in it. Yes, you can still write a piece of shit even with a good plot behind it, but no amount of good writing can cover up a plot that is simply illogical, makes no sense, or depends heavily on everyone acting extremely stupidly to prevent the conflict from being resolved instantly.

>> No.515242

If you can think up plot, characters, and world-building to match an idea like this, you're onto a winner, OP.

>> No.515257

>>515239
I don't know about this. A lot of very popular stories and respected masterpieces involve cheesy plots with holes. The metamorphosis doesn't explain why Gregor turned into a vermin. The chronicles of Narnia never explain why the fantasy world has Evil Arabs on its border. Star Wars and Star Trek have more holes than plot. It was never a problem. People enjoyed the story anyway.

>> No.515281

i loved it so far. Moar

>> No.515284

>>515257
star wars and star trek are also actually bad

>> No.515292

What the fuck dude. Kill your idea with fire.

>> No.515303

This will work. In animu and mango that is. gb2/a/

>> No.515307

>>515303
um you mean /tg/ . it doesn't have any high school girl (i think, i didn't read the whole thing..)

>> No.515338

>>515284
Yes, they are bad ideas that generated millions of dollars and fans and spawned stories for decades.

>> No.515359

You better have an amazing explanation on how the head of the dynasty could invade and conquer heaven by himself.

>> No.515360

>>515338
nd r lame

>> No.515368

>>515359
who gives a crap. maybe this heaven is filled with a bunch pussies. we don't know. it's this fags fantasy world

>> No.515582

>>515359
They marched soldiers in and killed everyone they found. That's how you usually conquer places.

>> No.515613

>>515582

And how the fuck do you kill already dead people, angels and gods? Heaven, by definition, is not a fucking physical world with physical people.

>> No.516096

>>515613

wizards did it

>> No.516116

>Some 300 years ago, the magicians of the dynasty of Ve
stopped reading there

>> No.516126

>The empire is ruled with ingenious mastery, since every emperor has all the emperors who came before him to advise him, giving him more experience than any other king or prince on the planet.
IF THE EMPERORS DONT EVEN DIE OFF, WHY EVEN CHANGE EMPERORS?

>> No.516131

Needs child sex and bondage otherwise it won't sell.

>> No.516172

>>515613
That depends on your interpretation of it, numerous legends exist of people killing gods