ITT: We give one-star reviews to classic literature (or good literature)

[Anonymous No.5107520]

Old Man And the Sea 1/5 WAI NO ZEOR?

Oh. MY. God.

Almost a hundred fucking pages just so the old fart can catch a fish and then he doesn't.

Fuck this book.

[Anonymous No.5107584]

I was half way through this publicity stunt before realizing the joke was on me and any other fool who purchased this "novelity." It should have been titled "Private Joke," because only the author and his therapist know what the hell the point of this book is.

[Anonymous No.5107688]

So what, a bunch of monkey gibberish and it only gets good when the white man comes to help his village? Niggers gonna nig

[Anonymous No.5107697]

Great Gatsby: Not good, 1 star

[Anonymous No.5107716]

Mein Kampf is the most disgusting book I ever read. Pure propaganda for mindless Nazis. Actually, I didn't even read it. I just threw it out! Hitler was an evil man who killed six million Jews and also homosexuals. He also started the war. Also his book wasn't any good. He's in Hell now with the rest of his Nazis and that's where his book should be, if a book could go to Hell which I don't think they can. Utter garbage. I'm glad the good guys won! 1/5

[Anonymous No.5107729]

>>5107584
This one's actually accurate.

[Anonymous No.5107731]

World War Z
could have been so much more awesome, I mean, it's a fucking Zombie book people! didn't need all that shit about police force or blind monks or whatever, could have been more gore. Nothing like the movie

[Anonymous No.5107736]

>>5107520
Just the blank one stars on any of the classics, and the worlds of thoughtlessness that they imply.

[Anonymous No.5107737]

>>5107688
Lol I read this shit in high school

[Anonymous No.5107755]

>>5107520
My eyes are bleeding

[Anonymous No.5107761]

>>5107520
She's not even wrong. 1984 isn't that amazing, it's more of a warning than a piece of literature.

[Anonymous No.5107771]

The Plague

Mysogynist garbage. Women only exist in the novel to give the suffering men something to look forward to. They're barely characterized.

[Anonymous No.5107803]

>>5107737

Of course you did.

[Anonymous No.5107923]

A truly terrible book. The author obviously has some very dark demons that he tries to just throw on the page and justify with pointless ramblings that are supposed to seem "deep". This book is 90% shock value. I grew up with John Wayne, I know what a good western is supposed to be, and this is just violent, hyperstylized smut. Also, like everyone else today, the author has a bad case of political correctness where he tries to make Indians seem like victims of the evil white man. Anyone who knows their history knows that the Indians were actually far more savage and that very few were peaceable like the ones portrayed in this book. Pornographic, liberal propoganda with no redeeming value. Only read this is if you want to know what today's dumbed-down society thinks a 'Western' is.

[Anonymous No.5107938]

>>5107771
Ray Bradbury said he thought up the idea for "Fahrenheit 451" when some stupid woman wrote to him saying he should rewrite "The Martian Chronicles" to include more female characters.

[Anonymous No.5108236]

1/5
Was Huxley fucking serious? John's personality was bland-as-fuck, Bernard Marx was just an angsty intellectual (I bet Huxley tried to make his LSD-infested self seem better by making a superior version of himself), Helmholtz was bland-as-fuck, and Lenina was just the sex object of the book. The plot was stale because it fucking took place in a peaceful world state (or whatever the fuck it was called), and it's filled with boring petty rebellion that almost had no fucking effect on the actual world around the main characters.

Philosophy behind it is lame and trite as well. Huxley's book is for high school students who read it only because it's required. Fucking stupid. Only gave it one star because the cover looked cool.

[Anonymous No.5109144]

OMG OMG OMG

What the FUCK is wrong with this book! The syntax doesn't make sense half the time and most of the words are made up on the spot and 'droog' triggers me. Smutty, dirty and misogynistic.

1/5, fuck this book.

[Anonymous No.5109163]

ITT: plebs

[Anonymous No.5109196]

>>5109163

ikr how ould they r8 them only 1 / 5 ?!?!? what a bunch of ass holes!

[Anonymous No.5109198]

>>5107803

it was assigned at my high school. i liked it, though i dont understand it i would say

[Anonymous No.5109228]

>>5109163

You're stupid.

[Anonymous No.5109255]

>>5107584
....the fucking title is Infinite Jest

[Anonymous No.5109287]

>>5107584
what >>5109255 said, it was originally called: A Failed Entertainment.

[Anonymous No.5109302]

>>5107938
Fucking kek.

[Anonymous No.5109615]

>>5107923
How do you review a book that you didn't like when others far more intelligent than you consider it a literary masterpiece? "Blood Meridian" is one of two books that I've had to force myself to finish, the other being "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. While Cormac McCarthy is obviously a legitimate and gifted writer, his painstakingly extensive descriptions and use of run-on sentences (often 100 plus words long) become overbearing with repetition. The attempt to reconstruct (or invent) unfamiliar words and phrasing intended to be 'period correct' for the southwest 150 years ago constantly throws off the reader's rhythm, causing the reader to go back for rereads to verify the author's intent. The author's continued use of Spanish requires the unschooled reader to continually refer to a Spanish dictionary in order to follow conversations.

Many critics have described this work as a great horror story. It does tell of horrific events caused by evil men in an unforgiving environment. However it does so by repetitively slapping the reader in the face with these events, kind of like a modern splatterpunk novel. It doesn't take the reader long to accept the activities and environment as a 'new normal', thus lessening the psychological impact and the shock value. A horror story typically is a cohesive tale that follows a (sometimes) wandering path to its ultimate and impactful conclusion. True horror novels include "The Exorcist" and Jack Ketchum's "The Girl Next Door".

Readers need to acknowledge that the atrocities and brutality of the old American southwest 150 years ago were no different than events that unfolded in Vietnam. Tom Berenger's character in Platoon could easily take the place of Judge Holden, and Charlie Sheen's character is similar to 'the kid'. Bad men will always sink to the same level and use their evil actions to justify their own sense of self worth. There will always be a king of these men who wallows around in the mud with them but still manages to emerge unscathed. And there will always be the relative innocent who will play in the mud but doesn't really want to get dirty.

Hopefully this review will give you a different perspective on "Blood Meridian". Take on this 'masterpiece' at your own risk. I sincerely hope that you enjoy it more than I did.

[Anonymous No.5109626]

Haven't even read the book/story but the autism about kanjis amused me

[Anonymous No.5109645]

>>5109626
Wow, this Kastel character. She sounds like an all-around tumblr cunt

[Anonymous No.5109650]

>>5109615
Hey, different strokes for different folks. I don't like the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy (even though I love Life, the Universe and Everything)

[Anonymous No.5109663]

>>5109144
The language was supposed to reflect the nonsense of violence and were not meant to sympathize with Alex it's a book about maturity and how you can't force morality or change the misogyny was one of the traits that we were supposed to be disgusted about too

[Anonymous No.5109666]

>>5109663
I know. I fucking love this book and fuck every single person who considers it anything less than a masterpiece. I was just writing what a dumb Tumblr-cunt would write

[Anonymous No.5109679]

>>5109666
Thank god you weren't serious too bad Anthony burgess didn't even care about it and only did it for some money

[Anonymous No.5109684]

>>5107520
WHAT. THE. FUCK. This must have been the most boring, frustrating, and dreary 5 hours of my life. Seriously, Werther is this beta fagit who falls madly in love with some skank called Lotte (seriously, wtf kind of name is Lotte?). He then goes around with his dick in his hand, masturbating to her silhouette and raving on about fucking nature.

Then he becomes obsessed with suicide and KEEPS ON FUCKING RAVING ABOUT IT. I think about 5 times in the last 50 pages the narrator is like "this would be the last words he wrote before he killed himself". But then he keeps on bitching and moaning and writing and talking about suicide. In the end he shoot himself through the eye and dies of it slowly which was pretty badass, I guess.

Still. 1/5

[Anonymous No.5109688]

>>5109684
Forgot to post the picture of this whiny beta male faggot. Nice book cover, homos.

[Anonymous No.5109694]

>>5109684

jesus do not read this thread if you are afraid of

SPOILERS

[Anonymous No.5109700]

>>5109688
top kek

[Anonymous No.5109709]

This book..."all of these things, happened more or less" my god is that what passes for a master-level introductory sentence in a novel these days?

The structure is atrocious, the author butts in all the time, breaking the narrative flow, the description of the Dresden fire-bombing is ridiculous (everything burned, everything organic wow good going there Michael Bay).

The desperate attempt of the writer to actually make himself seem edgy by adding 'so it goes' after every death makes hims eem like some tryhard emo fag, too. Also, the alien plot makes no goddamn sense. Did I mention that the structure is a mess? Because it totally is.

1/5

[Anonymous No.5109752]

>>5109709
Is this a real criticism? Does someone hold this opinion?

[Anonymous No.5109772]

>>5109752
It's in the line of the thread's title. Slaughterhouse Five is another one of my all-time favorite Vonnegut books

[Anonymous No.5109816]

Old man & Sea. Thumbs UP!
Tales of Alienation Tale of Advent Robert London's books. Same! Try'em.

[Anonymous No.5109874]

Catcher In The Rye

>PHONY
>PHONY
>NYC
>PHONY
>PHONY
>PHONY

I know Salinger influenced Roth, but pic related is far better work which aims at many of the same goals.

[Anonymous No.5109918]

>>5107731
>Nothing like the movie
oh mai gawd

[Anonymous No.5109930]

Now here's another example why slavshits shouldn't ever master the art of writing things down.

We have an emo prick who abuses everyone, is unable to handle neither the banter nor his finances, instead of working hard decides to kill a bitch, then goes rampage and kills another bitch.

Featuring the Holy Whore. What in blazes.

Bonus points for unpronouncable names. Buy a fucking dictionary, Fyodor, or step out of your house more often.

1/5

[Anonymous No.5109951]

This book was way too difficult. They ramble on about stuff that isn't really interesting. I'm halfway in this book, at what point does the plot begin?

Socrates also seems like a loser, not really someone I would identify with

1/5

[Anonymous No.5109963]

>>5109930
top kek

[Anonymous No.5110635]

>>5109772
Oh I thought it was us taking one star reviews of great books and showing them