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/lit/ - Literature

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5104704 No.5104704[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

a headaches asks me
to visit the cabinet
and i say yes
because i want to

the ice machine’s too loud
but nobody’s woken up all summer
the glass shouts too loud
but nobody’s woken up all summer

she calls me every night
and i answer
because it’s not a pattern

somedays i fight her
somedays i dont
women, man
they’re a drag

sd

>> No.5104709

i like it. what is it?

>> No.5104712

>>5104709
a poem i just wrote and felt like spamming. thanks.

>> No.5104721
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5104721

JENNY kiss'd me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad, 5
Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss'd me.

>> No.5104735

>>5104721
if this is original, i love
>Say I'm weary, say I'm sad, 5
>Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
>Say I'm growing old, but add,
>Jenny kiss'd me.

i love it if it's not orginal too, but you catch my drift.

>> No.5104763

>>Time to hear the sad kids sing
Dark shadows and blood
Sad kids sing sad songs
A cool night they all seem to have in common
Night time blues
Or perhaps night time blackness
Monotone voices paint mundane pictures of pain
I feel no pain
I’m numb
You limp around while I lay down
Drifting in and out of a blissful state

Your art is bad
Your pain is laughable
Your life is fine
Your fine

Find a gun if you wish
But like they say there are plenty of fish
You will not be missed
Sad kids
Sad kids who sing sad songs
You will not be missed

I’m going back to bed
nodding in and out
I’m numb
I feel no pain

>> No.5104790

>>5104704
>>5104721
>>5104763
So is this a cringe poetry thread?

>> No.5104796

>>5104790
I think so....

Thats why I wrote my shitty piece about sad kids who sing sad songs.

>> No.5104797

>>5104763
>Your art is bad
>Your pain is laughable
>Your life is fine
>Your fine
&
>I’m going back to bed
>nodding in and out
>I’m numb
>I feel no pain
good shit

>>5104790
yuuup

>> No.5104801

>>5104797
I dont understand the green text?

>> No.5104802

>>5104790

no taste

>> No.5104804

>>5104704
>>5104721
I actually liked these two.

>>5104763
Not a fan of this one.

The first two sounded believably tired and almost detached, like your emotion was spent.

>> No.5104805

>>5104801
i'm quoting those as my favorite stanzas

>>5104802
thanx

>> No.5104815

>>5104804
Do people actually waste long periods of time writing poetry?

I came up with that piece in literarily 15 seconds HAHA.

>> No.5104841

>>5104815

>time = quality

>> No.5104847

>>5104815
I personally like it a lot, and usually I don't like such simple poetry. And like the other guy said, time doesn't always equal quality. Sometimes you just get a good series of phrases in your head and they work. Sometimes they have to be tweaked.

>> No.5105878

>>5104712
>just wrote

why don't people take the time revise poetry? god damn it.

>> No.5105887

>>5104790
I have to agree. It hurts....