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/lit/ - Literature

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5037479 No.5037479[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

I have always have been asocial since I was a kid spending my afternoons playing Diablo 2 instead of going out and playing with my friends and peers. As I grew older, the amount I went out and did social things declined to the point where doing something social once a month was considered abnormally frequent for me. I guess its because of this that I never really had stellar social skills, and have constant social anxiety. It was easier to play WoW than to actually deal with people on a frequent basis.

Starting in the beginning of high school, reading lit, watching film and browsing reddit and 4chan became my primary use of time when I stopped caring so much about vidya. I can't help but think immersing myself in this stuff is just another substitute for the vidya of my youth, because it probably is. Another thing I grasp onto because I'm just a loner and these things being my almost sole comforts.

Even when I do go and be social, which I have to now daily thanks to the 40 hours work life, I often come home and open a book just to decompress since I can relate to the people in fiction more than the people around me. Every day of struggling to find any sort of meaningful connections in the daily grind leads me to become more and more dependent on literature and film to convince myself that things aren't so bad. Recently, the dissonance between the empathy and sense of shared human understanding present in books and film and my complete inability to find any sort of meaningful social interaction in real life has caused me to feel increasingly depressed and getting to the point of being suicidal.

Can anyone relate? Life is just becoming increasingly absurd and depressing to me and I just want to see if anybody else has been in a similar state of affairs and got out of this rut.

related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9PzSNy3xj0

>> No.5037519

>>5037479
;-;

>> No.5037526

>>5037479
How can you relate to characters in literature if you haven't had any real experiences?

>> No.5037574

>>5037479

That sucks m8.

I recommend self-help books. Not the, "find your dreams in 10 easy steps" kind, but the well-regarded ones. The Road Less Traveled is a good place to start, the 7 habits of highly effective people has a tacky name but is also very well regarded.

I honestly would have ended up like you if not for a terrible break-up with my first real girlfriend who I was very in love with. For some of the relationship it was long distance so I could sit in my room, text her, and smoke weed/browse 4chan to my hearts content. After the break-up I knew how it felt to be really content, really fulfilled, and connect meaningfully to another person. So once that was gone, I realized I would have to take the steps necessary to make myself a pleasant person to be around (I'm a very critical, difficult person to be around at times), and put myself out there (get a job, non-introvert hobbies) to have good friends and romantic relationships. Not only that, but the situation brought out extremely ugly character flaws in me, and made them very easy to see in retrospect, so it was much easier than normal to start working on the issues that I have.

For years I was incredibly stagnant and happy sitting right where I was, basically. I had no real goals I had set for myself, I wasn't growing as a person at all. Contentment can be a toxic thing, be glad that you're no longer comfortable basically wasting time, and that this feeling is natural and is what propels people to actually do shit.

Sorry if I sound preachy, and best of luck OP

>> No.5037586

>>5037574
yes I said yes I will Yes.

>> No.5037605

>>5037586

wut

>> No.5037609

>>5037479
>I can relate to the people in fiction more than the people around me

Then you dont know people around you

>> No.5037614

>>5037479
Find and connect with people who have similar interests. Experiment with hobbies to find something you can become passionate about. Join a book club, a chess club, a running club.

Just force yourself to interact with people. It will become easier with time and I think not having so much time in your own head will do you wonders.

>> No.5037616

>>5037526

this x1000

op is pathetic all round especially when he confines himself with plebeian film like paris texas and synedoche new york

>> No.5037617

>>5037609

This.

>> No.5037635

>>5037479
>spending my afternoons playing Diablo 2

There is nothing in the real world that could be comparable to being sucked in by Diablo 2. You did good.

>> No.5037643

>>5037635

>There is nothing in the real world that could be comparable to being sucked in by Diablo 2

Your life must fucking suck. I mean, I'm a massive fan of the Diablo series, even the third, but come on man.

>> No.5037672

>>5037479

The thing, OP, is this.
People you meet when you go outsides are zombies. They have no inner life. They are machines designed to reproduce themselves.

Worthwhile books are written by introspectives, who use their actual mental existence to imagine other people as being conscious, as having mental complexity and agency, rather than being automatons. That is the whole of the conceit.

>> No.5037760

>>5037672
Bingo.

People are overrated.

>> No.5037769

>>5037672
>>5037760
>people actually think like this

face it, you're pathetic and direct your shortcomings towards other people.

you're favourite authors would spit at you for having such narrow unfounded views based upon things you have limited knowledge about.

>> No.5037782

>>5037769

Was just about to say this. This is shit people use to justify being a NEET. Accept responsibility for the fact that your life is shit, don't blame it on everyone else being vapid.

>> No.5037789

>>5037769
>you're

not helping your case here, m8

>> No.5037797

>>5037789

>nitpicking on typos still

dont know if you noticed, this is only 4chan. a common typo does nothing to debunk what ive said.

>> No.5037801

>>5037797
let me break it down then

your argument is that his favorite authors would spit on him for having "narrow unfounded views"

yet you write with typos

it seems to me that they'd despise you too, for making a mistake preschoolers wouldnt make

wtv tho, ur all fukken nerds

>> No.5037806

>>5037801
this is the worst argument i've ever read
you should have just posted a meme, son

>> No.5037808

>>5037806
ebbin :^)

>> No.5037809

>>5037605
ulysses if i remember

>> No.5037813

>>5037801

let me break it down for you too

this is 4chan, not a dissertation

you cannot edit text in 4chan

im not sad enough to worry so much about making typos on 4chen

one that does nothing to say anything against the legitimacy of what ive wrote

you act as if a typo is not absolutely common.

come back when you have a real argument.

>> No.5037825

>>5037813
>im not sad enough to worry so much about making typos on 4chen

and yet you answer the troll post

wow, /lit/ has to be the biggest agglomeration of dumb "smart" people on the internet

>> No.5037831

>>5037825

of course it is, that's why we hang out here

>> No.5037833

>>5037825
no your dumb

>> No.5037836
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5037836

>>5037825

OK, i see, you have a point.

i'm slipping, havent been on 4chan for a while, blow me.

you wanna go to TSR for that agglomeration.

>> No.5037838

>>5037614
i had tried this proactive approach a while ago but my problems only got worse and meds didnt work either
i felt completely hopeless to change my situation until i came across some buddhism threads here on /lit/
witty also helped especially with "the solution is the disappearance of the problem"
thanks guys im almost completely free now

>> No.5037847

>>5037838

See a psychotherapist.

No, really. If nothing else you'll learn a lot about yourself.

>> No.5037866

>>5037847
why? id rather learn firsthand from myself than have those people try to tell me what they want me to believe based on their lackluster understanding

>> No.5037915

>>5037838
Where would one start with buddhism?

>> No.5037917

>>5037915
Tibetan Book of the Dead.

>> No.5037930

>>5037917
>>5037917
welp i dont understand this shit

>> No.5038365

>>5037917
Bullshit. Start with the Pali Cannon and Rupert Gethin's Introduction to Buddhism. Then move into the later sutras.

>> No.5038868

Your problem is that you have built up a false idea of what it means to have meaningful connections with people through fiction. This is why you are miserable when confronted with the reality. Stop overthinking things and just drink a beer and sit with someone and smile. Let go.

>> No.5038902

>>5037866

Hey OP,

First question, how old are you? This is not a judgemental question at all, mind you, I'm just trying to project a little bit to have a better understanding of you.

First, analysis really is a good idea, you should consider it. The main reason being, a good analyst, at least the european kind that I have experience with, never directs you based on their understanding.

A good analyst lets you talk, ask yourself questions, and they let you look for answers yourself. You might ask yourself why then, you need one in the first place. My personal answer to that is that it's really easier to be honest, when you're paying someone to listen to you and not judge. To me, it's easier than trying to be honest with myself. The ego has so many defensive mechanisms, after all.

It's up to you to decide whether or not to see an analyst, but I wanted to explain what it's like.

In regards to your "fictional v. real people" problem, my opinion is loosely this. I'm not trying to suck up to you or anything, but you probably think more than your peers, you think more about your environment and yourself and people and communication in general.

You analyse things most people don't. You must understand that this, this thing that I'll
call 'human complexity' is an interest, like an interest in football, or food, or whatever. You take pleasure in understanding people and groups of people.

The thing is this is not a very common interest, but there are people like you. I imagine you'd probably enjoy spending time with a lot of people on this board.

There is nothing wrong with you, at least nothing in what you have presented. You don't have an inability empathise, or love, or take interest in people.

Don't blame yourself about this. Try to find people that are like you. Also try and look for 'glimmers' in people. I have a very small group of friends, with whom I can talk endlessly, or exchange long winded mails every week. Other than that I just go out and meet people, and sometimes be bored with them, but it's okay. They don't have to think exactly like I think, they're nice people, good people, they're human, and they care, and you can also care for them.

>> No.5038907

I'm just like you OP. I haven't had a single friend in about 7 years, and I've been a shut in on and off for about 4 of those years. As in not seeing the sun for months at a time(4+). Idk about you but I honestly feel like shit when i see other people, even if just walking around at the store. I don't think too much about it, since everybody's really just as lonely whether they want to admit it or not. We all just have ourselves at the end of the day. Just think of it like that and you'll feel better.

>> No.5039478

>>5038907

sorry but solitude is important but the social world is probably one of the most important factors of your entire life, you shouldn't ignore it. pretty irresponsible way to live your life.