/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.5011981]

>self publishing

[Anonymous No.5012058]

>>5011981
This can't be real OP. This shit is cringe fucking city. I couldn't force myself to read more than a few "paragraphs" of this garbage, I'd rather participate in a /lit/ critique thread than sit through this.

[Anonymous No.5012073]

>>5012058

[Anonymous No.5012080]

>>5011981
>YI PING
>YI PING
>YI PING
>YI PING
>YI PING

[Anonymous No.5012095]

>>5011981
Self-publishing?

[Anonymous No.5012108]

>>5012073
>>5012095
Jesus Christ how horrifying. Do these people actually make money from these "novels?" I really need to finish one of my own projects, I could use the extra income. It should be easy if these chucklefucks are the competition.

[Anonymous No.5012136]

>>5012095
>how does he react
>groovy

that doesn't even make grammatical sense what the fuck are you doing

[Anonymous No.5012140]

>>5011981
>It was located on top of the misty mountains of the Heavenly Mountains in the far north of the northern fraternity.

>misty mountains of the Heavenly Mountains
>in the north of the north

What's up with the two mountain ranges? Mountains within more mountains?

>misty mountains
>(c) Tolkein

[Anonymous No.5012159]

>The Eternal Ice Palace was forbidden to men and naturally, the Eternal ice Palace consisted of only women.

The prose was not good and naturally, the prose consisted entirely of badness.

[Anonymous No.5012168]

>>5012095
>author is named Lewis
>character is named Louis

[Anonymous No.5012183]

>>5011981
It sold 14,000 copies
Rated 4.5 stars

[Anonymous No.5012198]

>>5012073
>They be able

[Anonymous No.5012214]

>>5012073
>numerous exponents
my sides * 10^3

[Anonymous No.5012260]

>>5012073
The girl on the cover is quite the cutie.

>they have to overcome seven celestial divinity, Genesis, Enlighten, Emotion, Transverse, Seventh Sense, Crisis and Ascend in order to transcend to the Heavens
What. Emotion is a divinity? Crisis is a divinity? What.

>607 pages
How.

[Anonymous No.5012340]

>>5012108
I have a feeling that most people who self publish just sell a couple copies to their family and friends.

According to this graph a lot of people make between $1 and $5,000

[Anonymous No.5012354]

>>5012340
>aspiring
>85%

How do the remaining 15% make writing income from being aspiring?

[Anonymous No.5012372]

>>5012340
Bullshit level over a million

[Anonymous No.5012401]

>>5012372
http://www.digitalbookworld.com/2013/self-publishing-debate-part3/

I wish there was more separation between income levels. Like people who made less than $100, less than $500, less than $1,000, rather than making $1 profit seem the same as $5,000 profit.

[Tallis !!DxrlCMGAS2J No.5012411]

>>5011981
Henry de Montherlant published his first few books himself, and they're now considered some of the greatest of the 20th century. He was an aristocrat though.

[Anonymous No.5012454]

>woman wearing a veil
>standing very far away
>can't see her face
>proceed to describe her eyes and complexion

[Anonymous No.5012552]

>>5011981
>600 pages long

mein gott

[Anonymous No.5012562]

>>5011981
>He is the Bandit King Yao Duo, a vicious killer of the innocents! And you still want to protect him?
>Are you really Yao Duo?
>Indeed I am! A true hero will never change their name...
>Good and you can now be a dead hero!

Is this dialog supposed to be a parody of bad kung fu movie dubs?

[Feminister !!F9QVQ82MjmE No.5012588]

>>5012411
They don't seem that hot after reading Beauvoir's critique of them.

[Anonymous No.5012632]

>>5012588
no one cares

[Anonymous No.5012704]

>>5012095
For those who do not know this guy made a comic that is as bad as Sonichu yet makes his living reviewing comics on the internet. He is also a Christian libertarian feminist who wears a fedora which is a combination you do not see often.

[Anonymous No.5012738]

>>5012704
>Usually appearing seated on a sofa, he wears a distinctive trilby hat and brown coat, usually over a charcoal t-shirt. He will also sometimes brandish a flintlock pistol (which is fake) and the Green Ranger Dragon Dagger as seen in the TV series Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. The first proper appearance of the pistol was when Linkara introduced himself to the site. After giving a brief tour of his house, which consisted of saying what he was sitting on, Linkara brought out the pistol and ordered the viewer to get out before he shot them. The pistol has made a number of appearances (and often referred to as the "Magic Gun"). Most recently it was used as a suicide prop which Linkara set on standby, should the comic he was reviewing prove to be too much for him. The pistol's rather dark backstory was revealed in October 2010.

[Anonymous No.5012753]

I was actually about to start a thread on this very subject.

Does anyone here have any experience with self publishing? I have two finished novels and this seems like a great way to get them out there.

[Anonymous No.5012776]

I can write far better than some of these people, seems like there is no good reason not to throw some stuff together to see if it makes any money with online self publishing.

[Anonymous No.5012796]

That's pretty much my reasoning. I'm going to write anyway, might as well try to make a buck. I can go on for 350 pages describing the last shit I took and it wouldn't be nearly as bad as any of the twilight books.

[Anonymous No.5012800]

>>5012753
it is 'a' way, but in now sense is it a 'great' way

[Anonymous No.5012836]

>>5012738
Stop making me want to fuck Erika

[Anonymous No.5012926]

Reminder that actual publishers hate authors who self publish.

[Anonymous No.5012963]

>>5012926
What does that have to do with anything?

[Anonymous No.5013011]

>>5012963
It would really hinder your chances of legitimately getting published.

[Anonymous No.5013037]

>>5011981


You bow down and notice Tyrone's big penis. In comparison, yours seems like a little toy. At first you feel intimidated and unsure about your new sissy identity. Tyrone laughs, pointing at your small penis. "That penis might as well be a clit, sissy. Why don't you rub it like a woman as I do the man's work?" He said, mocking you. Then, he took his enormous black penis and started expanding your boy pussy. You could not believe that you used to like women. Feeling the black penis wreck your ass makes you realize that you found out who you were destined to be. A sissy serving his black master's cock.

[Anonymous No.5013043]

>>5013011
Most authors who are self publishing could not get a publishing deal anyway. And I find it hard to believe every publisher will turn down someone who does well with online publishing and could make them money.

[Anonymous No.5013135]

>>5012704
Lightbringer, right? I see that story timed on /co/ sometimes. It's so bad. I love it.

>>5012753
Self publishing is a terrible idea. Without going to far into it I'll just say this: bookstores like Barns and Noble don't carry self published books ever.

>>5013043
If the bottom dollar for a publisher is profit, and someone has self published and proven that they can bring in that profit, then yeah, publishers will see you as a safe bet and welcome you aboard. It's how 50 Shades got a legit book deal. But if you self publish and the profit isn't there then you're pretty fucked forever.

[Anonymous No.5013137]

>>5013043
Still you could just use a pen name if you're going to self-publish.

[Anonymous No.5013147]

>>5013137
or you could just hold yourself up to a higher standard and not do it.

[Anonymous No.5013239]

>>5013147
Are you really trying to imply a traditional publisher is anything more than a middle man? If you want to publish a work you can publish it however you want.

[Anonymous No.5013283]

>>5013239
They are more than a middle man.

Publishers help the author. Their editors, formatting artists, copy editors, and publicists, provide services that many self publishers are in desperate need of, and like another Anon already said, if you want your book to be in a bookstore you have to go through traditional publishing.

Publishers help the reader, too. They protect you from awful shlock like the stuff in the OP image. 99% of shit that gets self published wouldn't stand a chance with a traditional publisher because it's awful.

You are somewhat right. If you want to be published, you can publish however you want, and self publishing is a lot easier, but it's also a massive hindrance towards your success and being respected by anyone who knows anything about the publishing industry.

[Anonymous No.5013331]

>Yi Ping rubbed his nose and watched her disappeared into the background. It was as if she had never appeared.

>watched her disappeared

[Anonymous No.5013612]

at least A Martial Odyssey is legible

[Anonymous No.5013630]

>self publishing

[Anonymous No.5013646]

>>5013612
>Dr Shaun Water that gives me bloods it how I got my magic powers and father of my children to.

This is awful, and it was clearly written by someone who's barely literate at all, but it's more puzzling than it is terrible.

This is like Faulkner writing from Benjy's point of view, except it's just Benjy writing from Benjy's point of view.

[Anonymous No.5013673]

>>5013612
>Dr Shaun Water... father of my children to.
>Walt water is Dr Shaun father and was one of my husband and Father of my children to.
Two sentences in and incest already.

>The Wilson family Patrick and Robert Fathers of my children to.
>Dr Ray Ray... father of my children to.
>Dr Campbell... father of my children to. >Earny my husband... and father of my children pride and joys.
>Jack is one of my husbands... and the father of my children to.
>Peter Hanson the father of my children to.
Is the entire first page just a list of her husbands?

[Anonymous No.5013691]

>>5013673
and they're all doctors.

>I have around 4000 children
Her vagina must be a mess.

[Anonymous No.5014036]

>>5013147
As much as /lit/ complains about how shitty modern publishers are you really fucking hate the idea of self publishing.

[Anonymous No.5014040]

>>5013612
>Edward said Denise you would not never have sex or sleep with my Royal nephew Dr Charlie never again have Dr Charlie Royal children you are my Royal wife Denise we need...

>Royal Egyptian Epiphany Egyptian Great Pyramid boat
>Royal Egyptian Epiphany Egyptian Great Pyramid ship

What the fuck...

[Anonymous No.5014069]

>>5014036
look at the fruits of self publishing. It's some pretty shit fruit.

and I don't recall /lit/ complaining about how shitty modern publishers are.

[Anonymous No.5014171]

>>5014040
excuse me, it's "the Royal Egyptian Epiphany Egyptian Great Pyramid boat or the Royal Egyptian Epiphany Egyptian Great Pyramid ship what goes under water." learn to read, cretin.

[Anonymous No.5014591]

>>5014171
oh, so the Royal Egyptian Epiphany Egyptian Great Pyramid boat and the Royal Egyptian Epiphany Egyptian Great Pyramid ship are two different vessels, one of which is a submarine?

I must have misunderstood due to the aneurism that was throbbing its way through my brain as I was reading that shit.

[Anonymous No.5014630]

>>5013612
is this an unreleased Beckett play

[Anonymous No.5014637]

the sad part is there is nothing inherently wrong with self publishing

if you can write half decent and are willing to actually finish a book, it is a good way to actually see some god damn money from your work

unless you prefer the idea of jumping through hoops, writing to deadlines, and being paid what is usually a pittance unless you can stomach murdering your pride in exchange for writing 'good' YA fiction

[Anonymous No.5014652]

>>5014637
>it is a good way to actually see some god damn money from your work

personally speaking, I think when you're being published the author should be receiving money from the publisher, not giving money to the publisher. But that's just my opinion.

>being paid what is usually a pittance
a pittance advance is still higher than no advance at all, which is the only advance you'll get from a self publishing company

[Anonymous No.5014654]

>>5014652
why do you need an advance

[Anonymous No.5014665]

>>5014654
why do you need to actually see some god damn money from your work?

[Anonymous No.5014669]

>>5014665
because i seek the good and part of the good is not to live day to day worrying about crippling financial difficulties

[Anonymous No.5014671]

>>5014669
filthy materialist, you don't have the true artistic spirit

[Anonymous No.5014680]

>>5014671
stay delusional

[Anonymous No.5014837]

Is this some sort of new literary technique? Diarrhea of consciousness?

[Anonymous No.5016329]

>>5014837
It's like that time Dr. Seuss tried to write a book using only 50 words.

>he is right about your Royal brother Edward is knot good for me Denise
>Edward is knot good
I don't believe this shit.

[Tallis !!DxrlCMGAS2J No.5016334]

>>5012588
hahahahhaahahaha

nigga
u 4 reel?

[Anonymous No.5016474]

>>5012095
Wait, is this actually Linkara?

[Anonymous No.5016482]

>>5016474
Oh yes, baby

Yes it is

After his failed novel career he went on to make a webcomic, which crossed over with his novel at one point

[Anonymous No.5016531]

>>5014069
>Sturgeon's Law
So what?

[Anonymous No.5016658]

>>5011981
I stopped at 4th paragraph. I can't stop laughing. It makes me feel that I'm not as bad.

[Anonymous No.5016665]

>>5016482
I don't understand how people can claim to be a critic but then fail to uphold their own art to the same standards.

I get you don't have to be an amazing artist to be a critic of art, but if you're going to be a critic and an artist...

>>5016531
I don't think you can wave your hand and say "well, it's all shit anyway, so who cares if I submit my story to a shitty vanity press?"

Picking the right publisher is just as important as writing the story itself. Finding a small press or an independent press that's respectable, fits your niche, and that you would like to see publish your stuff should be pretty easy. It's a little extra work, but I'd prefer it over submitting to "Mouth Breathing Retards Monthly" or "Anti-Spell Checkers Quarterly" under the shield of "it's all shit, so what?"

[Anonymous No.5016698]

>"It seems that this lovely damsel here is in distress and there is no one here to save her."

[Anonymous No.5017806]

How do you even find these?

[Anonymous No.5018270]

>>5017806
Just go to a vanity press website and take a look at the books they're trying to sell

[Anonymous No.5019537]

>The day the mystical Epsilon shows up without warning in the dragon stables, is the day the life of the young dragon-tamer and ninja Fiji Kitsune is turned on its head. Where does Epsilon come from? Who is he? And what is he doing here? He claims to come from another world, but other than that he's as oblivious as Fiji. Now, the two of them, together with Fiji's best friend Sunalei, have to try to find answers to their questions. But the more they discover, the more obvious it becomes that this is only a small piece of an enormous puzzle that stretches across several countries and dimensions. And in a worst case scenario, this could mean death, not only for them, but for as much as several worlds...

[Anonymous No.5020141]

>>5012562
I like how the story goes on about how evil he is and then he goes: yep, that's me alright!

[Anonymous No.5020380]

>>5019537
I want to check this out just to see what an Eragon ripoff is like