/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.4964366]

Does anyone here that having /lit/ and related things as a major interest has alienated them at least partly from society at large? I feel as though reading led me to be more empathetic to people, but I can't help but feel detached and lonely most of the time.

I don't think it necessarily has, as I've always been asocial for as long as I can remember. But the feelings of loneliness have become worryingly intense lately. Might just be the 9-5 life is sapping away my soul.

tf accidentally posted this as a reply to a thread initially

[Anonymous No.4964375]

>>4964366
yes op, yes

[Anonymous No.4964385]

It has the opposite effect for me.

Reading makes me feel less lonely

[Anonymous No.4964389]

>>4964366

You're a Joyce

[Anonymous No.4964398]

I've been coming to /lit/ and trying to become more well-read partially because I feel detached from people. I hate gamers and I'm trying to move from /v/.

What the fuck I thought I was moving in the right direction.

[Anonymous No.4964418]

>>4964385
How so, specifically? I can relate to that in a limited sense.

Sometimes when I read a great book, like The Waves or something, my unrelenting melancholy seems sort of "justified". I feel a sort of solidarity with humanity as a whole, both past and present, and especially with these fictional characters that caused I related to.

In this sense I feel more connected to humanity at large, but I don't really feel any less lonely per se. I feel lonely, but have a sense that other people feel similar, that "we" are all in this thing called life together yes, i know this description is kinda trite.

But this soon fades away as I go out and talk to people at work and such. When I have to deal with real people I can't help but be reminded of the real distance between us, or at least between me and others.

[Anonymous No.4964423]

I had a healthy social life when I was a heavy reader. It evaporated when I started writing. These days, I make an effort to spend time with my friends. On the plus side, I enjoy visiting them now more than then.

[Anonymous No.4964438]

It's more likely that having literary interests is a result from being someone who naturally alienates themselves, and not the other way around. You probably feel detached and lonely due to inherent qualities you posses, which I would posit started with shyness, anxiety etc which has been compounding over your entire life. Sorry anon, but it's probably who you are now, chin up though, you can always just kill yourself if things get too bad.

[Anonymous No.4964451]

>>4964438
>tf

[Anonymous No.4964452]

I have no friends really and spend most of my free time reading, although it's always been like this for me. I'll probably an hero before the end of the summer because I'm so miserable.

[Anonymous No.4964458]

>>4964418
I feel less lonely because the rest of the time I am by myself.
When I am reading I am totally in contact with whatever the author is trying to say.
I am made aware of the distinction between loneliness and the opposite when I am socializing but when I am reading there is no need.

I think I agree with the distance of people when you deal with them. This distance became irrelevant when you are reading someone's book or words, unless they are right beside you.
Loneliness is a conflict of sorts, IMO, about one's distance with another/other. This distance is gone when the only physical connection you have with whomever is on a paper one way.

[Anonymous No.4964462]

>>4964452
I stopped posting on 4chan entirely till lately because its gotten so bad I need to post on a fucking anonymous image board to feel like I'm not completely alone.

I keep telling myself it's all going to be all right. That I'm going to "make it, bruh". But I realized months ago that the concept of things getting better is just a proverbial carrot on a stick that I'll keep chasing until one day I truly internalize that I was merely trying to sustain some illusion that never was nor will be.

I haven't gotten to that point yet, so there is still hope.

R-right?

[Anonymous No.4964476]

>>4964462
And at the same time I feel like a dysfunctional piece of shit because I really should "grow up" and "face life". But what exactly does that entail?

I go to school and currently have a job, have really good prospects for employment upon graduation. I actually have some friends that I talk to, and I'm not totally asocial, I can actually function pretty normally and talk to people at work and such.

The further I become "normal" excuse the term, the more I feel estranged from both others and myself.

It just seems like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. I used to think this was just a phase that I would get over but its been like this for as long as I can remember - at the very least 4 years.

[Anonymous No.4964481]

>>4964366
4chan has, to a small extent, allowed me to branch out and develop socially a bit. I barely interacted with humans from grades 3-6, so most of my time was dedicated to movies and TV. I went into middle school thinking human interaction was just like in Wes Anderson movies, which really fucked up my social situation. Eventually I would find 4chan and actually have a platform to communicate with other people where I could just pretend the stupid shit I would say in my earlier stages here never existed because it disappeared after a few hours.

[Anonymous No.4964485]

>>4964462
It's okay. Become aware of the chains that bind you and you might one day break free. Only you are holding yourself back. Open your minds eye.

[Anonymous No.4964489]

>>4964462
>tfw it's become so bad for you that you're scared of interacting with anyone IRL because you self-loathe for 90% of your conscious waking and can't face any more possible hatred

Hey, at least we have 4chan to post about our incessantly internalized feelings, right?

[Anonymous No.4964530]

>>4964489
>tf

I can't help but feel dysfunctional most of the time. I try to convince myself that it's all okay, and try to come to terms that I'm just a loner and always have been and seemingly will remain so.

[Anonymous No.4964563]

This happened a couple days ago. Might as well share it here.

>Be me, apartment hunting
>shit's tough, been passed up by the last 6 places I applied for
>got appointment to look at very affordable, very well located, cute downtown loft
>landlord(landlady?) is pleasant, middle aged soccer mom
>Determined to make good first impression.
>Conversation following the short tour went something like this:
>"Are you currently employed, Anon?"
>"No."
>"....So what does your present financial situation look like?"
>"My parents are currently supporting me"
>"Oh. Well if you can get your parents to co-sign I guess we should be fine. Are you a student then?"
>"No. I dropped out to pursue my future in writing"
>"Well that's really good on your parents to keep supporting you so you can pursue your passion haha!”
>”One might say that.”
>”And what do your parents do for a living”
>”Doctor and pharmacist”
>”Wow! Were they disappointed in your decision to not go into the medical field?”
>”I contemplated it. But it just seemed far too much of a commitment. Being a doctor isn't just another job, it's like an entire life occupation. Every night when I was a kid my father used to come home and immediately eat, hit the bottle and pass out on the couch watching TV. I just didn't really want that kind of life.”
>”...”
>”I think it was like 6 years ago, I came home from highschool and saw my dad crying in the kitchen. It turned out that one of his favorite long-term patients had passed away that day. I think he blamed himself. I don't know. Have you ever seen your father cry? If there's one thing a man should never have to endure, it's watching his father cry.

At that point she said she had a prior commitment she had to make, and that she would e-mail me a copy of the application. That was two days ago and I still haven't heard from her. I think I scared her off, /lit/. How do you guys hide your power levels?

[Anonymous No.4964588]

>>4964462
>>4964476
So, we're the exact same person I take it.

[Anonymous No.4964595]

>>4964563
holy fuck anon, that must have been fucking hard for your father...
why has life to be so hard, and why are some people so naïve and disrespectful for other people's experiences?
>How do you guys hide your power levels?
I don't talk too much

ITT: depressive people getting more depressed

[Anonymous No.4964630]

Naw, my shit personality did that.

[Anonymous No.4964634]

>>4964588
join da club bb

>>4964563
>not being outwardly friendly towards everyone then coming home and breaking down

but yeah, in terms of "hiding power level" i have no idea. i don't like it when people ask me my interests because if i talk about them honestly i come across as pretentious.

[Anonymous No.4964635]

/lit/adv/ thread?

[Anonymous No.4964640]

>>4964563
that feel

[Anonymous No.4964645]

is anyone else here planning on becoming an hero?

i think im going to wait till i graduate and blow all my money traveling first. my depression has let up recently so i mite make it

[Anonymous No.4964655]

>>4964645
I think I might spend all my money on books and pretzel bread and just live off of those for a bit before shooting myself.

[Anonymous No.4964658]

>>4964645
I used to think I'd kill myself. Then I realised I didn't want to die, I just wanted not to suffer anymore, and that I could achieve that goal by not being such a useless piece of shit.

[Anonymous No.4964661]

>>4964645
I don't think you'll actually do it.

[Anonymous No.4964668]

>>4964645
Please don't inflict such pain on your parents for something as pitiful as life.

[Anonymous No.4964670]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-T63_DK8hc

>tf

[Anonymous No.4964683]

>>4964670
>"Don stepped outside"
>mfw

[Anonymous No.4964689]

>>4964658
"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead!"

Yeah, this should work for someone with real depression.

[Anonymous No.4964695]

>>4964689
>just think of something positive anon

[Anonymous No.4964696]

>>4964689
Wow, well done, you completely misread my post in order to turn it into an epic meme reference. gj. you're a fucking moron.

[Anonymous No.4964700]

>>4964696
what is the key to end the suffering, mr. buddha?

[Anonymous No.4964703]

>>4964700
wow ur sure good at these memes

[Anonymous No.4964709]

>>4964703
it's a serious question, can you stop with the worthless shitposts

[Anonymous No.4964710]

the other way around. i'm a loser with no friends so i read instead.

[Anonymous No.4964715]

>>4964709
lmao i'm starting to understand why you want to kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.4964733]

>>4964695
>>4964696
If you understand how depression warps a persons thinking, you wouldn't be telling them to "just think of something positive" or just "stop being useless".

[Anonymous No.4964737]

>>4964715
lmao nice. fucking memefags haha wow

[Anonymous No.4964747]

>>4964563
did u 2 fuck after the cry?

[Anonymous No.4964771]

trolls overtook the thread
btw, here's a similar thread:
>>4964388

[Anonymous No.4964815]

>>4964733
that's not at all what I said. your inability to realise that is what I was criticising.

[Anonymous No.4964832]

>>4964366
It has allowed me to pursue a superior lifestyle. Feels good.

[Anonymous No.4964836]

>>4964832
Superior means above.

[Anonymous No.4964862]

>>4964476
>It just seems like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog's_dilemma

[Anonymous No.4964883]

>>4964836
I'm aware of that.

[Anonymous No.4964949]

I have transcended loneliness. I am absolutely alone except for one friend who is essentially my brother. The only thing that keeps loneliness away from me is pursuing a culturally-valued goal of my choosing; it keeps my ego intact. I think the side effect to this is some kind of neurosis; a new fear introduces itself every once in awhile.

[Anonymous No.4964955]

>>4964949
what is your current goal and neurosis?

[Anonymous No.4964972]

>>4964955
Maintaining a near perfect GPA.

[Anonymous No.4964992]

>>4964949
>my feel when normalshits with bffs think they know about loneliness

beta reckoning will come

[Anonymous No.4965033]

>>4964366
Somehow.
I am eastern orthodox.
Doing night prayers and reading some theology helps you feel less alone.

[Anonymous No.4965042]

>>4964563
A-am I the only one who thought this was actually really funny?

[Anonymous No.4965142]

>>4964366

>4 years ago
>take stock of where I'm at
>working a job I have no vested interest in, between school and work I have no time, energy, or brainpower for my own pursuits
>I'm in a constant spiral of Facebook, Netflix, TV shows, games etc.
>look around
>most mainstream "art" is fucking terrible
>music is formulated to top arbitrary charts instead of provoke an emotional response
>most people my age only read shitty genre fiction like Harry Pootis
>even film has lost it's allure
>every "party" I go to is just a bunch of half naked drunks jumping up and down to shitty EDM
>my life has no purpose, no aim, no noble goal
>decide I fucking hate my life and "society" in the sense that it's been defined as of late
>almost eat a .38
>get a better idea
>save up a ton of money, spend as little as possible
>buy a tiny house in the middle of bumfuck nowhere
>get a job operating a crane at a small nearby dock
>nice easy job with good pay and hours
>not too mentally/physically taxing
>spend long afternoons on foggy pier swapping stories with the ferry captains
>spend the rest of my time reading the classics, studying philosophy, studying authors in detail in roughly 2 month intervals, and of course writing
>I have 4 close friends: one who loves reading, one who writes, one who likes philosophy, and a gun enthusiast
>we hang out, smoke, shoot bottles and clay pigeons, and talk about our favorite authors/philosophers around a bonfire most weekends

Don't feel lonely and sad OP. Feel glad you've escaped. And rest assured, there are others like you out there, even if they are in short supply these days.

[Anonymous No.4965160]

>>4965142
how did you find those friends?

[Anonymous No.4965187]

>>4965160

Gunslinger and Philosopher were friends I made in college (I went to school part time for a spell and where I live now is 2 towns away from where I worked and studied). Writer is the girlfriend of Philosopher, and Reader lives about a mile up the road so I met him shortly after moving in.

[Anonymous No.4965190]

>>4965033
Your family isn't?

[Anonymous No.4965206]

>>4965187
nice. i'm thinking about going back to school, if for no other reason than to meet people with the same interests as me.

[Anonymous No.4965216]

>>4965206

Make sure you choose the right school, bruv.

But it's the most wonderful feeling when you find someone interested in literature, philosophy etc

[Anonymous No.4965225]

>>4965142
wow I haven't felt this jealous in a while

[Anonymous No.4965281]

>>4965216
thanks for the advice. what kind of school did you go to?

[Anonymous No.4965294]

>>4965281

I went to Champlain College. It's a small, arts-oriented college with a pretty eclectic community. Good philosophy and writing departments.

[Anonymous No.4965310]

>>4965142
That's a good fucking story, man. Hope it's true. Here's mine of how I fell into a /lit/ crowd.
>Working shit sandwich shop job to pay through college
>guys I work with a bunch of hipster-looking, high-school or college drop-outs who work 40 hours for minimum wage despite being 20-25 y/o.
>pretty nice, but got the clique mentality about them
>whatever, I'm just here to make money
>One day, hear the leader of the hipster pack quote Shakespeare to a guest
>"Present mirth hath present laughter" something something
>Me: "Mutha fucka did you just quote Twelfth Night?"
>Find out that in addition to working 40-50 hours a week, all the hipster crew owns and works for the most successful local theater company in town.
>go see their production of Long Day's Journey Into Night for five bucks
>holy shit it was so good
>turns out all of them are very into plays, some of them into good novels and shit, one girl into poetry.
>more /lit/ than any of the English majors I knew through class

Still hang out with them at least once a week, even though it's been years since I quit that job. Reading Stoner with the hipster leader and one other guy this month.

I guess moral of the story is A) never know where you'll find fellow /lit/erates, and B) don't fucking judge people based on their appearances

[Anonymous No.4965327]

>>4965310
>>One day, hear the leader of the hipster pack quote Shakespeare to a guest
wow. did you two fuck cause you both are obviously faggots

[Anonymous No.4965650]

>>4964563

Drop a stack of bricks on my chest next time pls.

It'll be gentler than that post was

[Anonymous No.4965668]

>>4964476
I know this feel bro. Quite successful in life--top grades, involved in activities, and nice affluent employment prospects--but I just don't feel right in the world.

Not sure if anyone shares this, but I just don't like most people I meet. It's very rare for me to find someone who I can like and converse with without judging them in some way.

Girls like me, but I am apathetic about pursuing them.

What's the point in life guys? Just read books and try to get sex until you die? I didn't ask for that.

[Anonymous No.4966645]

bump

[Anonymous No.4966649]

>>4965668
>I didn't ask for that.
Welcome to the club.

[Anonymous No.4966677]

Ok, you got to find your thing.

Create an app, do a video, write a story.

You have to rewire your slacker porn addled infinite jest slobbery.

Throw yourself into meaningful work.

Nietzsche would say life is about fulfillment. Struggle with the difficulty and pain it takes to finish something you're proud of. Be relentless, achieve.

Those Silicon Valley TV show guys get a few hours sleep per night 'cause they're charged up coding. Couldn't that be you

[Anonymous No.4966683]

>>4966677
>Nietzsche would say life is about fulfillment

Blow it out your ass

[Anonymous No.4966688]

>>4966677
"make an app" is the new "get rich quick" scheme

[Anonymous No.4966742]

>>4964715
>dodging the question

[Anonymous No.4966760]

>>4966677
>sleep less

Stopped reading there. This is normalfag advice

[Anonymous No.4966765]

>>4966688
And it's still quite viable.

Well, now that Applol released their babies first language, the typical normal will now get their hands on coding which will debase the current standards and effectively making coding 'accessible' to any average joe.

[Anonymous No.4966773]

>>4964481

> I went into middle school thinking human interaction was just like in Wes Anderson movies

Ishiggery diggery doo

[Anonymous No.4967647]

>>4966773

How the fuck did this movie even make it to theaters? It's basically 2 hours of fap material for pedos justified as "art".

Any faggots here who like Lolita, enjoy the closest thing to a film adaptation you weirdos are going to get.

[Anonymous No.4967770]

Has anyone here ever recovered from deep self-loathing? I feel like I have a justified inferiority complex. I don't really see the allure in doing anything because I know the entire time I'll be destroying any enjoyment I have doing it worrying about 'measuring up' or 'doing it right' or 'do I really enjoy this? Am I pretending to enjoy it?'. I am and feel like a piece of shit. I know people say to just change your attitude, but I don't feel like I'm objectively good enough to accomplish anything that appeals to me regardless of attitude. It's like telling a 5' guy that if he changes his attitude he can successfully play basketball, some things are just a matter of shitty unchangeable facts.

[Anonymous No.4968105]

>>4967647
There are two fucking film adaptions.

[Anonymous No.4968118]

>>4967770
stop overthinking, stop trying to make sense of every single detail, not everything is "logical". find something useful to do ("useful" defined by yourself; but again, don't overthink this too much) and become obsessed with it.
don't try to compare yourself with other people, that simply doesn't help.
my 2 cents.

[Anonymous No.4968136]

>>4967647
I care less about how it's centered around young kids and more that the plot was bland, the dialogue was contrived, and the (good) actors misused.

[Anonymous No.4968168]

>>4965042
Nope. I thought it was hilarious.