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/lit/ - Literature

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488703 No.488703 [Reply] [Original]

Post the first sentence of something you have written.

Mine is "My eyes snap open".

>> No.488708

It was Sunday and the cat was speaking in tongues.

>> No.488719

The doldrums kept coming.


That sentence just popped into my head. Badass

>> No.488724

>>488719
You don't know what doldrums are, do you?

>> No.488726

>>488719

Wow, that IS badass. You should write a story to go with that.

>> No.488729

>>488708

Sounds like a sentence from "John Dies At The End." So, it's obviously shit.

>> No.488731

Call me Ishmael.

>> No.488734

>>488724
I'd imagine he got the word after reading a Roald Dahl Book.

>> No.488735

Dundundundundun.

>> No.488746

>>488734
I do bitch. Whatever gave you that idea? BITCH

>>488724
I was in elementary school when I last read his work, so fuck you, it's my genius

>> No.488753

>>488746
You mixed up the order of your replies. And yes, Roald Dahl is a badass.

>> No.488755

The soundtrack had been the hardest part - he had to re-record and edit it himself, from several different tapes in different stages of decay.

>> No.488757

"Long before conquests and rebellions, there was nothing."

A historical fantasy. I probably will move this section to chap 3-4 later, starting with the mythology isn't working too well. In medias res is always more entertaining.

>> No.488758

>>488753
Ignore the second part of that post, I thought you had told me off by saying Roald Dahl was awesome or something.

>> No.488761

>>488729

I liked John dies at the end. I mean, it was stupid and pretty poorly written but god dammit it was entertaining.

>> No.488765

>>488758
He is though!!

>> No.488773

>>488765
This is true.

>> No.488777

There is a monster in the closet, his name is paul.

>> No.488782

>>488761

I was entertained for the first 100 pages. After that it was just waiting for John to say moderately funny things. The plot is really just fucking lame.

>> No.488802

Well since I'm here, guess I'll give this a go:

"Let me tell you a story."

>> No.488807

Five "novels" I've written all begin with a variation of "the protagonist opened his eyes"

>> No.488819

I think the first line should introduce a visually palpable setting
what say you

>> No.488822

'Where are we gonna run to, eh?'

>> No.488825

>>488782

Honestly, that book hardly even has a plot.
I like it though, if only because of how retarded it is. And I will give the guy credit for writing a few genuinely creepy passages.

The one about walking into your bathroom at night was a gem.

>> No.488828

Depends, is the setting interesting?

I'm more interested in the characters, when I write about settings I usually fuck shit up.

>> No.488830

"No sir, this is mine."

>> No.488831

"This is no tale of mere jest."
I have no clue why i said jest...

>> No.488840

>>488825

Is that the scene involving singing someone different in the mirror even if it's just for an instant?

>> No.488843

"I just died."

>> No.488844

>>488831
because it's a fucking awesome word.

>> No.488845

>>488840

seeing*

sorry.

>> No.488846

>>488840

Yup.
In and of itself it's not scary, but it manages to pop into your mind when you walk into a dark room.

>> No.488848

The pain had started - although he would only realize it after a long time, and only after longer still, make the connection between both events - by the end of his first day on his new job.

>> No.488855

>>488846

Yeah I guess some of that stuff is moderately creepy. But the giant bugs with crude body parts and ridiculous dialogue just turned me off.

>> No.488858

Sing to me of the man, Muse, the man of twists and turns.

>> No.488871

Strolling lazily across the street, Jonathon Stevens stopped for a moment to adjust his slightly slouching penis.

>> No.488875

I began to wonder how the birds stayed alive. It had been raining hard for several days, and it seemed to me that they would all be drowned in their nests. The homes, which served as a perfect pail for the down poor, reminded me of my mother.

Not necessarily a sentence but I just thought of it while I smoked a cigarette on my porch. I honestly wonder how they don't die.

>> No.488879

'Having nothing left to do, we watched the house as it was swallowed by flame, uncertain that any course of action was better than another; until, at last, the roof collapsed and sent a gust of hot wind and embers brushing though our sleeves and locks.'

>> No.488883

>>488875
lr2notbedyslexic

>> No.488884

>>488757A historical fantasy

no one will read this

>> No.488890

>>488875
That's a deep thought there, Mr. Caufield.

>> No.488896

>>488890
What a phony.

>> No.488904

>>488875
>down poor

I hope this is intentional and a deep metaphor or something. Otherwise, you suck.

>> No.488908 [DELETED] 

All around me faces and lights morph into strange blobs of color, sliding in and out of my vision and moving all around me.

>> No.488909

i came.

>> No.488910

AND THERE WERE DICKS EVERYWHERE!

>> No.488918

"When he woke up, the dinosaur was still there"

Now how badass is that??

>> No.488919

Colors, faces, shapes, all around me they morph into strange, amorphous, blobs that fly in and out of my vision and torrent around my skull in a strange worldpool.

>> No.488923

>>488919

Typo *whirlpool.

Although "worldpool" sounds pretty awesome to me.

>> No.488925

Klaxat'ttor was the High Chiefling of the Dukksotrons.

>> No.488929

>>488923
make up words whydontcha

>> No.488933

There was a sound of thunder.

>> No.488939

"Let me sing you the song of my people"

>> No.488940

>>488929

I will do whatever the frogswallop I want.

>> No.488943

"There is a sort of ecstasy that exists in the apprehension of the great comic characters of literature."

>> No.488947

>>488940
i'm gonna tunklerop away

>> No.488951

>>488904

Typo. Like I said, just thought of it then wrote it down. Don't plan to do anything with it.
>>488883

What does this mean?

>> No.488957

>>488943
sounds like the opening of a boring essay

if I were a professor I'd give it a D, and then feign ignorance should you show up to my office to complain. pretend I made some sort of mistake and give you an A. and then stare at your ass as you leave satisfied

>> No.488959

My eyes were open but I couldn't see, my thoughts were overheating faster than light.

>> No.488962

>>488959
wut

>> No.488966

It took several minutes before I had noticed the flight landed, the bump of a plane landing on the tarmac had been noticeable, but not quite as distracting as the flight attendant’s vagina.

>> No.488970

My village knew, better than any other, the ways in which a child is shaped.

>> No.488972

"I'm Doctor Kashmir" said Doctor Kashmir.

>> No.488973

>>488970My village knew, better than any other, the ways in which a child is raped.


this is how I read it at first. I think i like it better this way

>> No.488975

>>488883

What in that paragraph sounds Dyslexic? Besides the downpour spelling error.

>> No.488976

It was an antiquated, worn house resting on a grassy plateau surrounded by gargantuan evergreens and dense foliage on all sides but that facing the road.

wow i am super

>> No.489442

Moving down the streets of time, he does not whisper, only shouts.

Oh yeah, I'm pretentious. Loving it too.

>> No.489458

Sandra was a 16 year old woman with the mind of a girl.

>> No.489461

"At approximately 12:45 in the morning, more than three days after he had left, S.T.A.R.S. Bravo Team member Richard Aiken finally returned to Raccoon City."

this is the first sentence of part 5 of my resident evil saga that i'm posting online. yeah yeah, i know everyone here despises fan fiction, but whatever.

>> No.489462

Hunchback on crack, you are so wack.

>> No.489470

It was a dark and stormy night...

>> No.489473

>>489470
The house creaked as a sullen wind began to blow.

>> No.489478

>>489473
Something was not quite right in the Richardson household on that dark and stormy night.
The house creaked as a sullen wind enveloped the four ever steady, ever present walls that in turn enveloped Mr. and Mrs. Richardson.

>> No.489486

>>489478
And then a skeleton popped out.

>> No.489488

"The popular saying, 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get' refers how life, and the events that occur, are often unexpected, and that if a person is to ever advance in their life they have to roll with the punches and learn to adapt to new situations."

Response to lit paper I had in 10th grade. Admittedly not my best essay.

>> No.489494

>>489486

"There's a terrible draft," complained the skeleton, wearing pajama bottoms and a Tweety Bird T-shirt.

>> No.489500

Upon later reflection, he decided that the cat showing up was where it all started to go wrong, as is usual with cats.

>> No.489504

Fuck the crying, bring on the ice cream of salvation!

>> No.489506

There were a few things that Kiara was not accustomed to waking up to.

>> No.489508

Indigo spelled the color of the ocean on the day that Eleanor visited the seashore.

>> No.489510

>>489504

Okay, I really want to know the context of this for some reason.

>> No.489518

>>489494
"Well, I didn't think you'd be up so early, Thomas", Mrs. Richardson nonchanlantly replied.
Thomas, who was in fact the Richardson's late son, was indeed a skeleton. A damn good one at that.

>> No.489519

The first thing he did upon waking up was smash his head quite hard into the lid of the coffin. This, he felt upon waking up again a few minutes later, was not a promising start.

>> No.489531

The one with the obscene t-shirt smirked as he swirled the cream in his coffee.

>> No.489532

>>489519
Haha, not bad.

>> No.489535 [DELETED] 

Today is a good day heroin.

>> No.489541

He fucked her hard into the bed, achieving the much sought trifecta of in media res, in flagrante delicto, and in extremely poor taste.

>> No.489542

Four days ago I was assigned a task via text.

>> No.489545

>>489541

ahahahaha, what

>> No.489560

The first thought that floated through Allen's mind as he was ripped out of his slumber was that either a dog was licking his face or Rachel needed to visit a dentist. The fact that what he was sleeping on what felt like dirt was a secondary concern.

>> No.489561

The mournful wail of the saxophone drifts through the haze of the club and directly into my chest, stirring what's left of my soul into a dizzying mush so entrancing that it takes me a good five minutes to notice that I'm film noir monologuing.

>> No.489562

"He wanted to go back."

>> No.489565

"She was dressed like a little lady."

>> No.489569

So I’m flying off the edge of a bridge in a souped-up, over-hauled 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback, blood dripping from open wounds all across my face.

>> No.489575

My cliches cliched, clichedly.

>> No.489578

By now, we had taken things way too fucking far.

>> No.489580

"Quack", said the duck, in what Robert felt was entirely too chipper a tone.

>> No.489592

whiskers sat near me, lapping at my erect cock.

>> No.489593

Duryn's first thought was that he was doomed.

>> No.489594

>>489506

I actually like this one.

>> No.489595

>>489542
What was the task? I bet it was assassination.

>> No.489602

"Douglas had to poop, his butt was all stinky because he had to poop so badly."

>> No.489603

Bu the time you read these words, I will be dead. With any luck, that will make this book sell better.

>> No.489604

It's snowing outside, covering up all the dirt in the world with a blanket of clean.

>> No.489610

Once upon a time, in the Old Country, there was a woodcutter named Jare.

>> No.489626

He'd always planned to make his last words profound; something meaningful and powerful that would resonate through the ages as the final wisdom of a great man.

What he actually said was "Oh, fucknuggets."

>> No.489627

Over the years I have inserted many different objects into my anus.

>> No.489639

The last words of Jeremy Pyle were "I can see the moonlight", nobody in the room knew what this meant because it was 12 in the afternoon.

>> No.489657

One day Billy gibbons succeeded in killing 2 birds with one stone, he felt very guilty afterwords because it was an accident.

>> No.489658

It was a dork an stoned-y night.

>> No.489665

As onerous as punctuation is, I'd like to make a point.

>> No.489679

The cloud extended to the horizon, uncoiling like some serpentine beast.

***It's a plane flying over a "lost" tribe in the Amazon.

>> No.489692

August once saw a ghost; it wasn't that interesting.

>> No.489698

>>488875
>>488879
>>489442
>>489541
>>489561
>>489603
>>489657

I'd keep reading, were these books in my possession.

>> No.489712

So I was balls deep in this guys ass right?

>> No.489721

>>489602
I have this one on audio tape, as read by Morgan Freeman.

>> No.489723

>>489580

You sir, are my hero.

>> No.489730

Small town feel, small town folk crowd several tables, all of them leading to a dance floor then a stage where a country band plays a Paul Brandt song. The lead singer finishes up, the crowd claps cheerfully.

>> No.489742

"Suddenly, niggers."

>> No.489749

>>489595
Short story, yeah.

>> No.489754

>>489749
Not really, more murder... it's a new born baby, you choose.

>> No.489755

Love is like a laser beam, right through your heart.

>> No.489800

>>489742

I LOVE IT!

>> No.489818

Harold was one of those people who, when pondering spiders, think of the horror it would be to have a one at some point take residence in his shoe.

>> No.489845

>>489818
That's strange. Definitely stranger than fiction.

>> No.489848

EXT. MEADOW. MORNING.

An ancient weeping willow stands off to one side of a small field of gently swaying grass, it's leaves slowly swinging in the breeze.

>> No.489850 [DELETED] 

>>488700
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>> No.489887

Knives flashed in the dark.

>> No.489908

"His hand had been smashed to something that resembled chunky red jam."

>> No.489912

You ever seen how a Gooks head pops when it takes a slug from a 12 gauge at short range, son?

>> No.489913

Shaking his cupped hand, Koldov threw the dice on the surface of the grubby table.

>> No.489923

>I got my Wound Badge today for being injured in combat, this time a silver one, and I had to visit the nearest base for necessary repairs and crew replacements.

from a short shitty diary-like writefaggotry about WWII tech-era humans in the middle of a global conflict in Middle Earth.

I still don't know why I did that.

>> No.489939

It seems like it’s been ages since I last saw my mom.

>> No.489943

Have you ever visited that portion of Erin's plot that offers its sympathetic soil for the minute survey and scrutinous examination of those in political power, whose decision has wisely been the means before now of converting the stern and prejudiced, and reaching the hand of slight aid to share its strength in augmenting its agricultural richness?

>> No.489958

Dehrryiek sighed to himself.

>> No.489962

"I'm Dere--Dyrhh--Deayriu--I'm Doctor Kashmir," Diaherayuk simplified.

>> No.489963

>>489962
Is it bad that I understand both of those jokes?

>> No.489971

Feeling a little depressed that one particular day I decided to walk home, I found three dead kittens on the way.

>> No.489998 [DELETED] 

I sing of arms and of a man.

>> No.490002 [DELETED] 

Arma virumque cano.

>> No.490010

"A man was lying on his cherished cherry floors when he saw a small piece of pencil lead lying next to his hand."

>> No.490027

Oh to plunge my inky fingers in and pry out her dying straining heart

First line of a poem.

>> No.490036

>>489560
>>489657
>>489692
These are all awesome. I would feel good about reading stories starting with these sentences.

>> No.490060

You all fucking suck.
Engineering majors could write better than this shit.

>> No.490063

"Bark bark bark bark bark."

The narrator is a tree.

>> No.490064

>>490063
And yes it includes the spoiler tags

>> No.490065

>>490060
You stole that from Augusten Burroughs, didn't you!?

>> No.490068

Pic is very appropriate

>> No.490073

He was soulless, and so he liked soulless things.

>> No.490083

i suppose he is dead now

>> No.490115
File: 115 KB, 500x405, 123955931573.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
490115

"I was driving northwest along the interstate, towards Rushwood, responding to a domestic violence complaint. I hate those calls, nothing puts you closer in touch with the absolute nadir of humanity."

From a short story I wrote not torribly long ago.

>> No.490130

>>490115
'Nadir of humanity?' Really? Did you spend some time to check what nadir means? Othwerise, you lose.

>> No.490133

I crawled through a sea of dirty laundry to the washroom where I promptly vomited into the toilet.

>> No.490141

>>490133
Oh man, I certainly hope you know what the word "vomited" means. You are a total failure.

>> No.490160
File: 19 KB, 392x445, resume_puking.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
490160

>>490141

>> No.490165

Cum seeped from her asshole and I knew i was spent.

>> No.490168

I've always been of the opinion that to be truly stupid demands a certain degree of intelligence first.

>> No.490172

The sky was dark green that April 14th; it had been for a week and a half, both dark green and April 14th.

>> No.490173

Dead men rise and breath, casting off the shackles of rest and lumbering towards the future,so goes the dream

Or something like that. I deleted it a while ago because it made no sense. Sounds cool though.

>> No.490176

Birds were chirping songs of spring, the world didn't notice.

>> No.490177

Chain smoking dachshunds discuss scruples in the park.

>> No.490179

Most of this shit sounds like it was written by highschoolers trying to sound intellektual.

Fucking makes me sick.

>> No.490180

>>490179
OP said first sentence, not first two sentences. But I dig where you're going with it.

>> No.490181

There are six separations of the year on the Haerar calendar.

>> No.490182

>>490179
>I can't write, but I wish I could.

>> No.490195

I use such short sentences to begin my stories. They're always the start of a larger description or bit of exposition. Useless here.

>> No.490197

>>490195
Funny. I use sentences too long to post.

>> No.490200

>>490182

I can't write, and I don't write. That's the problem with this generation. They think the world owes them everything. Normal people read Dostoevsky and think it's good. These clowns read Dostoevsky, think it's good, and think they can shit something out just as good, as long as they find the right word combinations. They can't enjoy something for what it is, they have to immitate it. They're like kids who want to be a racing car driver because they watch motor racing on tv. They get their dad's car and pretend to drive. This is what these faggots are doing, except they actually think they're good. If you want to try writing, then do it, just don't do it because you want to "write something intelligent".

Examples of bad writing of this type:

>>488858
>>488943
>>488919
>>489442
>>489561
>>490176

>> No.490204

>>490200
I guess I should laugh. Lol

>> No.490207

>>490200
Agreed, the Fagles translation sux

>> No.490209

We marched much slower as we grew closer to the shore of Lake Ladoga on our far right flank.

>> No.490210

>>490200
>Don't have any ambitions! If you see someone playing the guitar really well and it makes you want to play as well, YOU SHOULDN'T, BECAUSE YOU SUCK. DON'T EVEN TRY TO GET ANY BETTER, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE MY SELF ESTEEM DROP EVEN LOWER. Also, derp this generation sucks.

>> No.490216
File: 76 KB, 620x352, hatagonnahate.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
490216

>>490210

>> No.490218

[subject] [predicate].

>> No.490226
File: 62 KB, 334x336, 1269816598509.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
490226

Here I am, locked in a stinky smelling room, ready to lose another year of my life learning.

>> No.490236
File: 7 KB, 144x146, 1269758398729.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
490236

>>490165
>>490165

>> No.490240

Peering at the bright computer screen, I sighed as I slowly and reluctantly typed something vaguely shocking and graphic in order to attract attention on an internet image board.

>> No.490243

>>490240
erm no one does that slowly and reluctantly.

>> No.490249

>>490243
when they're up at 5 in the morning with no sleep they do :3

>> No.490250

I just looked for all my writing, remembered that I lost my mp3 and :(

>> No.490251

>>490249
Not if they live in AUSTRALIA

>> No.490255

>>490251AUSTRALIA

you poor soul

>> No.490386

'My shit's fucked up', the voice from the radio said.

>> No.490391

>>490386
*sang, of course. Not that anyone cares.

>> No.490392

A hunch told the sheriff that this was something more than any ordinary horse killing.

>> No.490394

>>490392
Moar.

>> No.490398

"Wake up, you lazy bum."

>> No.490411

>>488700
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>> No.490413

Yestery as i was mastrubating furiously to a pornographic magazine,

>> No.490430

>>488700
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