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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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4882019 No.4882019[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

how witty is /lit/? write something funny ITT

>> No.4882028

yo momma

>> No.4882037
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4882037

"Whats the deal with niggers? They're not black, and they're not people!"

>> No.4882081

I'm not a funny person.

>> No.4882084

How do I report threads?

>> No.4882124

>>4882019
Huxley quoth at Dickens, "Hey, look, a fucking cat."
"Two fucking cats, faggot." replied American Gaylord, Mr. Tom Ford.

>> No.4882136

Asking me to write something funny would be like me asking you to perform sexually, OP.

>> No.4882163
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4882163

You guys ever see At&t trucks on the side of the road, they always have cones around them.
Cones are supposed to alert you, right?
So what are the cones for?
Are the cones telling us to WATCH OUT!
There's a van right here, try not to run into it!
Hey guys, watch out, this van is parked here.
Guys. There's a van. We're cones. Watch out man.

>> No.4882166
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4882166

Looks like a fuckin fat cake miles ting vampires

Every time I hear a STEM major talk about humanities I get this weird rash around my Smith & Wesson

>> No.4882182

I stopped holding doors for people because I got tired of carrying around screwdrivers everywhere with me.

>> No.4882251
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4882251

A chair...

It walks with shoes

It walk on the street
It is walking

>> No.4882254

>>4882166
>cunt
>slut
Enjoy your ban.

>> No.4882268

>>4882166
If someone actually said that to her, that's legitimately fucked up.

I did laugh at the filename though

>> No.4882287

I write shitty comics.
>2 guys in jail
>"What are you in for?"
Battery.
>"Have you been charged yet?"
Negative.

>> No.4882312

>>4882287
wow

>> No.4882316

>>4882287
>shitty
Enjoy your ban.

>> No.4882317
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4882317

>>4882287

>> No.4882324

>>4882166
she has nice handwriting
for a slut

>> No.4882342

>/lit/
>witty
more like
>/lit/
>shitty
inb4
>shitty
Enjoy your ban.

>> No.4882345

>>4882251
la-la-la-lala
Do you like my joke?

>> No.4882357

>>4882342
>inb4
Enjoy your ban.

>> No.4882363

>>4882357
HAHA WOW CHECK OUT THIS KEKMASTER!

>> No.4882394

>>4882363
>Your sarcasm doesn't butterfly effect me.

>> No.4882411

>>4882394
>effect

>> No.4882415

>>4882411
>correcting someone's grammar
Enjoy your ban.

>> No.4882417

>>4882415
>grammar
Enjoy your sand.

>> No.4882421
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4882421

I would write something witty but I'm afraid someone will laugh

>> No.4882443

>>4882254
>>4882316
>>4882357
>>4882394
>>4882415
>>4882417
Antisocial butterflies

>> No.4882449

>>4882421
i haven't yet, so you can try

>> No.4882494
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4882494

>>4882449
Levity is a bowl of tits

>> No.4882554

I had a dream last night that I was eating sheep. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

>> No.4882561

>>4882019
Why don't you?

Just post your work.

>> No.4882565
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4882565

>>4882166

>for a slut

>> No.4882573
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4882573

>>4882287

Man U shouldn't have laughed at this.

>> No.4882646

>>4882136
Exactly. Its like a neet on here who watches a lot of porn. Theoretically he has immense knowledge, but when it comes to real world application they come short.

As is /lit/ to writing

>> No.4882652

Catch 22 is funny. Go read it.

>> No.4882699

On a real note an establishment of a daily ritual thread modeled after a successful figure such as in OPs pick would have been a much cooler thread

>> No.4882741

>>4882646
youre missing the point there
watching a lot of porn would mean that they could become a good porno director (lol) but a bad performer
while having sex a lot would obviously make them perform well at a porno but poorly at directing

>> No.4882784

>>4882741
No, I'm not they spend lots of time watching others and looking and the techniques but have zero time actually having sex so they aren't good.

Same with /lit/ they read a lot or read about reading books but rarely put pen to paper and write something

>> No.4882807

did these artists (and others) actually have strict routines?
or is this all speculation

>> No.4882891

i was walking home today and on the way someone overtook me, about 50 metres later i overtook them and then after a further 50 metres they overtook me

>> No.4882938
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4882938

>>4882324
funnier bc I saw it coming

>> No.4882949

I'm reading 4chan on my phone, in my bathroom, with no clothing. In the kitchen my coffee sits alone, everything in order.

Routine is for a master; as being witty on command is unforseen, it spells disaster.

But perhaps I should abandon my routine, and leave 4chan alone to spend time barely clothed with my caffeine.

>> No.4882956

If anyone had anything good to post it'd get cannibalized by any onlookers and the idea wouldn't be their own property anymore. Why would anyone give away their best material?

>> No.4882964

Here I stand reasoning with the teacher the gist of my arguments that support the topic: "You need to experience to truly know the how you feel" or something of the sort. Teacher being short mass resembling a boulder, just more flaccid, her small eyes pierced in the looming face, now squinting, so now I see an old duck's rectum in that drooped, yet tinted with lively red hues past her age, face. She seemingly takes a deep breath, the minim necessity for that big of a body, burdening and strangling her clothes, probably from some cougar women, dispensed and bought at thrift store. Lost in that exhale of her bottom, no the head nates, in a miasma of toxic effluvium, when she said exuberant and indignant:
'You are saying that if woman didn't experience close relationship she won't know how she would feel?'
Deodorizing the poison by repudiating the thought of it I gather up myself to say:
'I just tried to support my side'

>> No.4882977

I write all at once for a week or two, shit out maybe 1% gold. The rest of the writing from these periods get tossed. I spend the next 2-3 weeks being mad at myself and not doing anything. During those phases I can't write anything worth while.

>> No.4882978
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4882978

>>4882949

>> No.4883002
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4883002