>college fiction writing class I've made a terrible mistake

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Anonymous Mon Feb 17 00:12:08 2014 No.4576657 [DELETED]

>college fiction writing class

I've made a terrible mistake

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 00:13:08 2014 No.4576662 File: 387 KB, 2771x900, the chase 6-10.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I removed as much of the editing I had to do for the class as I could.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 00:15:07 2014 No.4576663 Most of this is pretty solid advice, you're a very redundant writer. Also this isn't very good.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 00:19:07 2014 No.4576672 >>4576663 I didn't write it. The terrible mistake was taking a college writing class. I did do the editing so thanks for that I guess. Some of the markings might make more sense if I didn't remove the notes that go along with them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 12:06:50 2014 No.4578204 I think we're gonna need a few more horror stories to really get this thread going. What's the writer of this thing like?

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 12:26:50 2014 No.4578261 Aside from some of the grammatical mistakes which I could grasp, I don't understand what makes that writing so bad. I can't even understand the editor notes, but I want to. Where should I start?

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 12:48:55 2014 No.4578313

>>4578261
IMO it's bad mainly because it reads as a list of events. There's very little scene-setting or character development or psychological insight or anything. It's just action, and it doesn't achieve anything or teach the reader anything. Again, it's just a series of events: "he did that and then this happened". Also, the prose is very dry and boring, and not in a literary minimalist kind of way, it's just boring.

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 17:27:10 2014 No.4579196
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>>4578204
The writer was a totally normal college kid. I would have pegged him more as a frat type rather than someone who would write dense as fuck fantasy.

Theres another kid who said his only experience writing was RPGs. He turned in a zombie story.

>>4578261
I took out my notes which give context to a lot of the markings, as I said in >>4576672
I did that because I wanted the focus to be the writing and not my editing, but I'll post the first page of the version I didn't clean up. I'll post more if you want but I don't feel like compiling them all again. This is just so you get an idea.
As for why the writing is bad >>4578313
pretty much nailed it. It reads like its a wikipedia article written by a robot. It never flows and the sentence structure is needlessly dense.

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 17:31:43 2014 No.4579215
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>>4578204
The writer was a totally normal college kid. I would have pegged him more as a frat type rather than someone who would write dense as fuck fantasy.

Theres another kid who said his only experience writing was RPGs. He turned in a zombie story.

>>4578261
I took out my notes which give context to a lot of the markings, as I said in >>4576672
I did that because I wanted the focus to be the writing and not my editing, but I'll post the first page of the version I didn't clean up. I'll post more if you want but I don't feel like compiling them all again. This is just so you get an idea.
As for why the writing is bad >>4578313
pretty much nailed it. It reads like its a wikipedia article written by a robot. It never flows and the sentence structure is needlessly dense.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:02:41 2014 No.4579309 >>4579215 Does this make you feel superior in some way? Dude's probably balls deep in pussy every weekend while you critique his writing for a class he probably doesn't give two shits about on 4chan.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:11:41 2014 No.4579341 >>4579309 >implying I'm not also balls deep in pussy every weekend And I just expected better from a college writing course.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:15:41 2014 No.4579352 >>4579309 >muh pussy fuck off you trogoldyte

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:15:41 2014 No.4579354 >>4579215 What Drivel Good Grief

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:17:41 2014 No.4579360 >>4579309 >Dude's probably balls deep in pussy every weekend while you critique his writing for a class he probably doesn't give two shits about on 4chan. I'd like to thank the author for joining us this evening.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:17:41 2014 No.4579362 homoeroticism

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:22:42 2014 No.4579372 >>4579215 Whenever I see something like this, I wonder, would he enjoy reading this? Is this what he wants out of a story? Also be less snarky. He's a shitty writer, but that's no reason to make him feel shitty.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:24:41 2014 No.4579374 >>4579372 But I like snark. I justify it by thinking it'll stick more if he feels like shit about it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:24:41 2014 No.4579375 >>4579352 >trogoldyte Whoa buddy, slammed your keyboard a little too quickly in your autistic rage. May want to slow down next time or OP will have your mark up your posts

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:36:41 2014 No.4579404
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>>4576657
>armed from head to toe
>absolute hell broke loose
>as if his life depended on it

DOSE CLICHES
DAT MELODRAMATIC TONE
DOSE SEMICOLONS

>The victim then turned over several flips in the air
ALL MY WHAT

One paragraph in and I want to gouge my eyes out. I really hope this turns into some fantasy crap right quick.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:41:15 2014 No.4579410 >>4578313 That's actually how most people like their books. They don't want any insight into anything. They just want actions told to them so they can imagine scenes in their head like a movie.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:46:15 2014 No.4579418 >>4579410 How horrifying

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:54:15 2014 No.4579435 >>4579410 Thanks mass media!

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 18:57:16 2014 No.4579441 >>4579410 >so they can imagine scenes in their head like a movie. I hear this from at least three students a semester as the prime reason for why they enjoyed a particular text. It's bizarre.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:02:15 2014 No.4579462 >>4579410 >>4579418 >>4579435 >>4579441 Welcome to this sad sad world where YA fiction reigns supreme.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:05:15 2014 No.4579475 > biome Hey, at least Minecraft has expanded his vocabulary.

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:07:15 2014 No.4579482

>>4579410
>>4579418
>>4579435
>>4579441
Sorry, but I want a compelling story.
>but anon, i have ideas taht will change the wrold
Then say them.
>but concealing them in this story makes them easier to diges
No, you story was 900+ pages of verbose garbage which you used to tell me 18 paragraphs of B- philosophy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:09:15 2014 No.4579489 >>4579482 It's okay if you're a pleb, but you're still a pleb.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:10:15 2014 No.4579492 >>4579441 Bizarre? People are essentially raised on television and movies. It's actually pretty obvious.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:11:15 2014 No.4579493 >>4579489 If I want philosophy, I'll go read philosophy. Don't try to hide it in a shitty story to subtly influence me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:13:16 2014 No.4579499 >>4576657 >he would climb a tree to disturb a wasp nest, but only enough to have a single wasp chase him.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:16:16 2014 No.4579507 >>4579352 You spelt it wrong

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:17:16 2014 No.4579510 >>4579493 Yes anon the reason people write stories about things is because they want to brainwash you Are you aware that handling themes in your story doesn't mean you're disguising a philosophical essay and that they can actually improve the story

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:19:15 2014 No.4579517 >>4579510 No, the reason people conceal their philosophies in books is because their ideas can't stand up to the criticism they'd suffer if unobscured

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:21:15 2014 No.4579520 >>4579517 Yeah that stupid Plato and his retarded cave shit. Give me the cliff notes you pretentious Greek pederast.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:23:15 2014 No.4579525 >>4579520 If your philosophy can be adequately represented in cliff notes, then fucking write it in cliff notes. You're just inviting misinterpretation

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:23:15 2014 No.4579526

>>4576657
better than my fiction class. at least your guy has some style to his writing. my classmates are afraid to write anything, so its all really simple and stupid. and dont get me started on the themes. half the time they involve a person with daddy issues

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:26:15 2014 No.4579536
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>that girl with the fixation on rape
>that guy who wrote sci-fi stories in which half the text would be explanations of how the science works
>that girl who would cry every time she read her poems

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:30:15 2014 No.4579549 >>4579536 >that unintentional plagiarism of half-remembered short stories

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:32:15 2014 No.4579555 >>4579536 Kill the first Marry the second Rape the third

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:34:15 2014 No.4579559 >>4579499 Katniss pls go

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:43:15 2014 No.4579587

>>4579520
Themes and philosophy_
- I've mentioned in some other posts on /lit/ in the past an idea of compounded contexts that have the potential to give color and intrigue in writing with out obscurring the communicative process
themes and philosophies work like lenses and filters for film,
. I find the hostility in the thread towards such devices very intriguing as association is what drives the human thought.
without larger association matrices such as theme and philosophy the writing has a tendency to lose dynamic.
Fantasies for instance compound there own rules and when a pattern is created.., Say, in the form of the physics of the invented world, interest in the left brain is created giving the author license to drag his reader through all kinds of inhospitable exposition. Take a look at mushi master the anime or hobbit for instance.

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:44:16 2014 No.4579590

>>4579215
>The writer was a totally normal college kid. I would have pegged him more as a frat type rather than someone who would write dense as fuck fantasy.

Fuck guys, maybe he's taking a class because he enjoys writing but isn't super invested in it. If you think of it that way, he's a decent writer. Obviously keep critiquing him and point out the flaws, but it's not he's some loser shut-in taking pride in his shitty fanfics, go easy. I'm sure there's better examples of Creative Writing class idiocy.

>>4579309
> Dude's probably balls deep in pussy every weekend

Just because OP
> pegged him more as a frat type

doesn't mean anything. I've made bad first impressions on kids dressed punk/goth/metal/otherwise counterculture because they assumed I was a dumb wigger because of the way I dress or talk or something. Probably just a normal kid taking a class.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 19:54:15 2014 No.4579609 >>4579536 >that guy who wrote sci-fi stories in which half the text would be explanations of how the science works I always liked this guy honestly. He was always really honestly enthusiastic about it all, and I have to admit some of it was "cool."

Anonymous Mon Feb 17 20:38:20 2014 No.4579736
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>>4576657
God im glad my professor said outright that there would be no sci-fi or fantasy.

But then you get the stories with minataurs named rocky who drink beer and help some dude through a spiritual trial of masculinity by killing Travis' dog and your like FUCK ROCKY why did you have to kill Travis' dog I left for only TEN MINUTES TO GET HOTPOCKETS and you already killed his fucking dog.

Now we got to build a maze, because muh development.

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 20:45:21 2014 No.4579774 >>4579736 >God im glad my professor said outright that there would be no sci-fi or fantasy. It's a shame though what people would write would mainly be generic and unispired elves and magicians stories. shame those two genres have been butchered

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 20:50:20 2014 No.4579794 >>4579736 >God im glad my professor said outright that there would be no sci-fi or fantasy. Would you professor accept magical realism?

>>	Anonymous Mon Feb 17 21:08:20 2014 No.4579862 >>4579736 That's good until he starts getting the same gril with cancer falling in love with Smarty Pants the cynic, king protector of faggots. >>4579794 He should.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 00:59:51 2014 No.4580545 >>4579774 >>4579736 I really wish there were more varied fantasy/sci-fi stories >muh quest >muh farm boy >muh prophecy

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 01:43:51 2014 No.4580627 >>4576657 This is comedy gold. >unsheathing a spear >several flips in the air >wisdom related to war tactics >sniping a butterfly, a hawk and a fucking wasp in motion

Anonymous Tue Feb 18 05:37:10 2014 No.4580955

These threads come up every now and then, so I was concerned when my creative writing class started up. Nothing I've read so far has been as astoundingly awful as OPs, some of it has in fact been very good. Other Anons, please don't feel like these will be a waste of your time because they may well not be.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 05:42:12 2014 No.4580962 >>4580955 There have been 2 (out of 10) so far that were good, even if one of them was slightly pretentious. The rest usually aren't terrible like this one, just painfully mediocre. The discussions and workshops we have can be good though.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 06:04:12 2014 No.4580989 >>4579555 >rape the first >kill the second >marry the third fixed that for you

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 12:17:00 2014 No.4581820 >>4579215 >less semicolons

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 12:42:00 2014 No.4581908 >>4579526 I dont think "cliche" and "expository"is a style. And those last few pages are just unreadable.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 13:46:20 2014 No.4582124 >>4580989 Not quite, the first more than likely has a rape fetish. A serious deep one that she is suppressing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 15:18:40 2014 No.4582424 >>4581820 I'm not a fan of semicolons. I think they're usually sloppy and don't make for good flow. Also he used a shit ton.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 15:35:40 2014 No.4582461 >>4582124 how is that a bad thing?

Anonymous Tue Feb 18 18:36:23 2014 No.4582960

>go to number one ranked university in country
>take creative writing classes
>tutors not afraid to tear people down
>get solid advice all around
>most of the writing is passable

like there was some shit, but in my tutorial group about 60% of the works were interesting enough to read. That piece would have been destroyed by our group/tutor.

Our tutor told us the 'no fantasy/sci fi' in our first tute too.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 18:49:53 2014 No.4582991 >>4582960 People really hate fantasy/scifi don't they

Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:05:53 2014 No.4583041
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Why do so many teachers say no sci-fi/fantasy?

Last year I was basically the only good writer in the class, and all I wrote was sci-fi / fantasy. The teacher loathed fantasy, yet he begrudgingly admitted I had notable mastery over the prose compared to my classmates.

Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:29:26 2014 No.4583094

>>4583041
>Why do so many teachers say no sci-fi/fantasy?
Blame the genres themselves.
Nearly every fantasy story revolves or is an offshoot of the most strict version of the hero's journey.
Most sci-fi is space marines and intergalactic wars.

I can't blame the teachers for being reticent of reading that tripe.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:31:27 2014 No.4583099 >>4583041 For my class it's just supposed to be no genre fiction at all. >>4583094 You read some shit fantasy and sci-fi

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:36:26 2014 No.4583109 >>4583099 I said most, that doesn't mean I read that kind of fantasy or sci-fi.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:37:26 2014 No.4583111 >>4583041 Because 99.99999999% of people writing it are not going to be writing 2-page speculative fiction parables, they're going to be writing about aliums shooting lasers.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:38:26 2014 No.4583112 >>4583041 >Why do so many teachers say no sci-fi/fantasy? writing class sci-fi/fantasy is much worse than writing class non sci-fi/fantasy

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:39:26 2014 No.4583114 File: 128 KB, 435x419, Jack Black.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4579215 >Leaves and sticks were cracking beneath the hard sprint of the two boys.

>>	Anonymous Tue Feb 18 19:42:26 2014 No.4583122 File: 128 KB, 1024x1024, painful_moment.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4583112 >those Sanderson lectures with the brainstorming parts

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 19 00:02:13 2014 No.4583741 >>4579215 >I often turn over flips too u avin a laff m8???

Anonymous Wed Feb 19 00:31:31 2014 No.4583807

>>4579525
Philosophy is explained and explored through example, a story. It's not concealing anything. It's illuminating the thing. Misrepresentation is done by bad readers. To dumb your thoughts down to cliff-notes accessibility is pandering. Instead, a writer should be challenging. You want readers the gain something for their troubles-- which, if you're doing it right, ought to be joyful.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 19 00:54:30 2014 No.4583828 >>4579215 fewer semicolons

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 19 00:59:30 2014 No.4583839 >>4579462 What does this even mean? How does YA reign supreme? And over what? There is some good YA shit out there, and there is some shit A shit out there.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 19 01:02:30 2014 No.4583853 File: 1.01 MB, 252x211, 1388957153786.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4576657 >turned over several flips

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/lit/ - Literature