/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.4427587]

I just graduated high school /lit/ at 18 what's some good college-level lit that will impress qt hipster girls

[Anonymous No.4427589]

Game of Thrones

[Anonymous No.4427590]

>>4427589
This is all you need OP. Go now, and join that indefinable crowd

[Anonymous No.4427592]

Process and Reality

[Anonymous No.4427596]

If you all you want is to pick up chicks, don't read books.

[Anonymous No.4427599]

>>4427587
>dat filename
perfect

[Anonymous No.4427622]

I'm going to beat the shit out of you

[Anonymous No.4427634]

>>4427622
so aggressive anon #rude

nice debs btw

[Anonymous No.4427643]

I don't think girls can read anon

[Anonymous No.4427649]

The Unbearable Lightness of Being and 100 Years of Solitude, just to say you've read them and to be able to discuss them. /lit/ bitches love them. They rub them up against their washed cunts.

Also read Crime and Punishment, and Brothers Karamazov just so you can say you've done so. These will give you that intellectual gravitas that makes you seem more mature. Protip: From now until they get their Masters', girls get moist over two types of men: athletes and older guys. It's why all the freshmen girls you'll be interested in go out with seniors. If you can't be older you can talk older.

For the perverse sexies which they also love, read Lolita and the Story of O. Also read The Story of the Eye but don't mention it unless you want to come off as extra edgy which impresses the hell out of freshmen and sophomores. Do not read DeSade, or at least don't admit to it. Girls want their sexual transgressions with no intellectualism attached. . Throw in Sexus and you're well rounded in the bodice ripping department.

You might also read Tropic of Cancer. A certain class of intellectual edgy girl is enraptured with Miller's rebel-without-a-clue-in-Paris shtick. For pointers on correct attitudes around women, read some Bukowski short stories and Sartre's The Stranger. Do not read Nausea.

If you like science fiction or cerebral postmodern headfuckery like Borges, don't try to discuss it with women. DeLilo is safe ground for the postmoderns, but in general I'd stay away from postmodernism altogether. Women may or may not want the pretense of that caché (which is in itself pretense), but they don't actually -like- postmodernism.

Never read any Sommerset Maughm. It's bad for both your game and your mental health. Avoid Steinbeck for the same reasons.

Dumb girls like Winnie the Pooh so brush up on a couple childhood classics. Not even joking.

[Anonymous No.4427684]

>>4427649
Also, just to continue the thoughts of the last few paragraphs, don't tell girls about all that sword and sorcery or expanded universe shit you read. This is the equivalent of keeping your neckbeard shaved and stowing the fedora in the closet. Just good practice.

Tolkien is the exception, but only bring him up around hippie chicks. For some reason hippies love LOTR, which is odd as they don't read otherwise.

There is a very rare class of girl that will like science fiction, or real literature like Heller, Vonnegut, Bellow, Twain, etc. The name for this kind of girl is "wife". Make her your primary mate ASAP. You will not need to date other women.

[Anonymous No.4427688]

Read some Russian lit. Bitches love dat Dostoevsky and Chekhov and shit. Also, it's actually good shit on its own.

[Anonymous No.4427693]

>>4427649
>Sartre's The Stranger

i don't know, i'd probably recommend Hemingway's As I Lay Dying.

[Anonymous No.4427698]

>>4427688
Dubs for truth and all, but you don't want too much of it. It'll make you depressive and fatalistic, and this doesn't go well with western chicks.

It's great for getting you ready for Russians and other slav broads, but not North Americans.

Honestly, deeply immersing yourself in good literature is not the best way to impress undergraduate grills. It's a sad thing, but a true thing.

[Anonymous No.4427705]

>>4427684
>dat list of "real literature"

Herzog was one of the worst "classics" I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.4427711]

>>4427693
>The Stranger
Yeah I often blend Camus and Sartre, primarily because I read them both in the same week some twenty years ago. And it's new year's and I'm on some decent opiates.

Also, for the ladies, avoid Hemingway, and don't bother with Faulkner. Faulkner is for impressing MILFs. Hemingway is for impressing homo-masculine fist riders in a high class bondage dungeon.

[Anonymous No.4427713]

(Most) college women aren't impressed by literature bro. At best it's a small plus to certain women and at worst, it'll make you alienating when you're chatting about post-modernism and critical theory and shit.

Just watch some French New Wave, listen to p4k's top albums of the 2000s, whatever is currently playing at your uni radios station, and work out.

The last one is the most likely to actually get you laid.

[Anonymous No.4427716]

>>4427705
>reading early Bellow

He's useless before fifty, dude.

[Anonymous No.4427718]

>>4427713
>The last one is the most likely to actually get you laid.

Yeah.

[Anonymous No.4427743]

college is high school 2.0 . the "hipster" chicks trying to be intellectual will be reading mrs. dalloway and brave new world. even the people trying to seem smart look fucking stupid. meanwhile 99% of the female population will read nothing at all and act like typical teenage whores. if you want to impress chicks, be as dumb as possible and know a couple of faggoty fag bands

[Anonymous No.4427745]

>>4427711

>and don't bother with Faulkner

'Absalom, Absalom!' has some of the greatest prose ever committed to the form.

Get off this board you abject failure.

[Anonymous No.4427747]

>>4427745
Of course it is. But it's less than useless for impressing undergrad girls. Which, ipso facto, you are not.

And what is good for impressing girls is the topic of the fucking thread. You're the one with reading comprehension problems tonight. But since Absalom, Absolom! is one of my favorite novels I'll blame liquor and give you a pass.

[Anonymous No.4427752]

>>4427747

>I'll blame liquor and give you a pass

Bingo. I'm an idiot, lol. Carry on.

[Anonymous No.4427754]

>>4427752
No worries mate.

[Anonymous No.4427755]

>>4427649

>Sade
>Intellectualism

>MUH SCAT
>MUH LIBERTINAGE
>MUH CONTROVERSY

[Anonymous No.4427758]

>>4427649
This guy knows how to pose.

[Anonymous No.4427791]

>>4427755
Again. By women standards. Obviously it's satire and not philosophy. And as as satire goes it's not even in the same league as Cervantes, Voltaire, or even Toole.

But for an undergrad girl in the liberal arts it's wai2deep4mi.

>>4427758
Thanks. Killing myself now, brb.

[Anonymous No.4427834]

>>4427622

No thanks, I beat myself enough already

[Anonymous No.4427843]

Many people in general from my experience have no interest in reading at all. Much less getting into anything that's remotely heavy in anything deeper then "Mah angst" and "mah love"

Seriously, what percentage of undergrad women would be impressed by knowledge of any literature at all?

Maybe like 2%?

[Anonymous No.4427851]

>>4427791

Doesn't it make you sad to have that image saved on your computer? Can you imagine you at your weakest and most vulnerable being reduced to a picture that thousands of people share without a thought in their head other than their own amusement?

[Anonymous No.4427852]

>>4427843
this board has the wrong idea of what kind of relationship to literature makes one 'attractive'. it's not about 'knowledge' of literature; it's about a passion for literature. thinking about literature in terms of just gaining knowledge and putting books on your shelf, then occasionally debating your opinions on what you've read isn't going to get you anywhere. Really caring about literature, though, will work as well as any other passion (of course, this site is full of autismal, immature people who have passions for really stupid stuff, but excluding that, my point still stands)

[Anonymous No.4427853]

>>4427587
An Hero, by Mitchell Henderson.

[Anonymous No.4427870]

>>4427711

>Hemingway is for impressing homo-masculine fist riders in a high class bondage dungeon

That's so specific, it sounds like you're speaking from experience. Are you?

[Anonymous No.4427998]

>>4427851
I can, but she couldn't. Har har.

Seriously though, you're falling into the same fallacy her family did.

After a decade of sedentary living, aging, and being brain dead, there was nothing of the old Terri there to be humiliated. If you went back in time and showed this woman photos of her future self and asked her to identify the person in the picture, she wouldn't be able to.

The unrecognizable creature that remained had no ability to experience shame or sadness, or anything at all. Certainly not the fear and discomfort of extreme vulnerability. The woman who developed the identity behind the original name was long gone before this leftover meat became a meme. Worrying about her feelings is an exercise in projection.

[Anonymous No.4428001]

>>4427998
>being this autistic
roflmao

[Anonymous No.4428004]

>replying seriously
top haha

[Anonymous No.4428006]

>seriously replying ironically
pick two

[Anonymous No.4428014]

>what is happening?

[Anonymous No.4428016]

>>4428001
>using 'autistic' as a catch all insult to control and dumb down discussion
>on a literature board

Okay.

[Anonymous No.4428078]

Nothing will make attractive girls interested in you sexually unless you are attractive or have money; that's just common sense. Would you have sex with a cow just because that cow is a fan of Stereolab and Thomas Pynchon? Of course not, it is a cow: it is difficult to establish a rapport with cows due to their lack of language and social skills, and they also lack many features that we look for in human females (cleanliness, small frame, bipedalism, a single stomach, etc.). Additionally, there are many moral issues you must consider e.g. can a cow consent to sex, what are the psychological consequences of human-cow sexual relations, can a cow alert a human when he is in psychological or physical pain, and so on and so on.

Once you have money and/or are attractive, then you can start worrying about which books will make impress the ladies. You want to have a healthy mix of obscure and popular literature in your mental library, with a couple of 'controversial' choices that will make you seem more interesting. A couple of writers to be familiar with:

-Dostoevsky: Famous, dark, Russian. Some of his books are very long which shows that you can read for long periods of time without getting bored, and he is foreign which shows that you know about foreign countries. Under no circumstances should you mention that you identify with Raskolnikov or the Underground Man, you say that you find them strange and unappealing, yet fascinating in a disgusting sort of way. If your potential mate is from Eastern Europe, familiarize yourself with Chernev and Gogol instead.

-E.L. James: OMG what!?!? The Fifty Shades of Grey lady!?! I thought you just read dusty old serious books! Think again ladies, I have a functioning penis and use it quite frequently when I'm masturbating to poorly written erotica that is marketed housewives. Of course you won't be saying this directly, but you'll be demonstrating to your hipster qt your complex sexuality and interest in pursuing a lively sexual relationship. This is your 'controversial' choice, so be prepared with a lengthy and overanalytical diatribe about what this book means for modern 21st century romantic relationships, which is something that you think a lot about because you've had many relationships before ;) . This only works if you are attractive, so if you decide to get ladies with money instead, don't bother reading this.

-Thut Borkenshire: Who? Exactly. Borkenshire is a mysterious and obscure Norweigan poet who has a thick golden beard and hunts his own food by the shores of the frozen lakes of his homeland. She's never heard of him before, but he sounds intriguing and Scandinavian. Clearly you must be very smart and interested in literature. She gasps in awe of your massive brain. You've done it. You've tricked her into thinking that you are intelligent and introspective. It is at this point that you slip your genitals inside of hers and recite the Borkenshire's sonnets that you have memorized. Congratulations!

[Anonymous No.4428097]

Don't accidentally read it, but try walking around campus with Infinite Jest.

[Anonymous No.4428101]

>>4428078
From what country are you?

[Anonymous No.4428119]

>>4427649
>>4428078
>>4427743

Is /lit/ the most jaded board on 4chan?

[Anon No.4428143]

>>4427587

[Anonymous No.4428147]

>>4428078
That first paragraph is gold, by the way. Had me giggling.

[Anonymous No.4428222]

>>4428078

Screencaped

[Anonymous No.4428350]

>>4428078
>Under no circumstances should you mention that you identify with Raskolnikov or the Underground Man

[Anonymous No.4428352]

>>4427596
in reality this is the best advice in this thread for picking up girls

[Anonymous No.4428365]

>>4427743
>even the people trying to seem smart look fucking stupid
You speak profound truths in your post. Sounds like my university too.

[Anonymous No.4428371]

>>4427649
>Dumb girls like Winnie the Pooh so brush up on a couple childhood classics. Not even joking.
You got a story behind this?

[Anonymous No.4428372]

>>4427587
>what ... will impress qt hipster girls
A fun-loving, approachable attitude, handsome face and a beautiful body are quite irresistible.

[Anonymous No.4428374]

>>4428365
That people are asspained that someone tries to construct an opinion and dares the chance of being wrong by opening your mouth is universal brah.

[Anonymous No.4428383]

>>4428078
More :3

[Anonymous No.4428405]

People don't realize that having a love of good books or good music or whatever isn't going to attract people to you. To attract people, you're going to need to be charming, conversational, and outgoing.

Nobody is going to come up and talk to you about literature if you're waist deep in some doorstop. However, if you can meet someone in a normal social situation and convince them that you're friendly and generally interesting, they might afterwards want to talk to you about shared interests, one of which if you're lucky might by literature.

The best thing you can do if you want to attract girls in college is learn not to take yourself seriously. Be jocular and generally in good spirits. Someone reading heavy stuff in an attempt to get attention is the antithesis of this.

[Anonymous No.4431144]

>>4428119
We're the underground man incarnate.

[Anonymous No.4431149]

>>4428372
what if you have the face and body but not the attitude

[Anonymous No.4431203]

>>4428365
yes, for a moment i considered writing it as "the people trying to seem smartest look the stupidest", but sadly, others are even worse. that, and, aphorisms sound fucking stupid on 4chan

>>4428374
your post is way off base. no one is genuinely trying to engage in a discussion or put forth anything worth merit. the kind of people we apparently both know put on a farce to try to seem smart. surely you have ran into one or two in your time

[Anonymous No.4433815]

>>4427870
N-no.

[Maxed !!uOxqFz9mo1i No.4433831]

I was actually floored by how many girls I met my freshman year who had a book my Bukowski on their desks.

[Anonymous No.4433834]

>>4428371
I saw pooh shit in at least four different freshman/sophmore girl's rooms and sat through at least two "omg pooh!" gushing type conversations. Being able to throw out a sagacious Milne quote would have helped me get under a sweater there.

Juniors and seniors don't have these conversations. They just want to fuck by that point. Be in shape and seem like you're competent in your major. Or just be in shape to get with the whores.

[Anonymous No.4433876]

Sup /it/
I just finished reading the Hunger Games, adn I loved it. Can you guys recommend me a book or series that is like, pretty similar? Like the same style of setting or something. Tanks

[Anonymouse !7tLDpBrPEk No.4433877]

Aaite, little nigga.
Skip actually reading, hit up a twenty-page section in the middle of prof. of desire where main character is talking to that knave baumgarten.
All you need to know about talking to college bitches.
the rest of the book doesn't hurt either
neither does most of roth, just gotta pick the most well-reviewed book from each 7-9 year period skip the shite

[Anonymous No.4433891]

>>4427684
are you implying Marquez and Dosto aren't also real literature

[Anonymous No.4433894]

>>4427705
read Augie

[Anonymous No.4433901]

>>4428004
This board is the definition of elitism.
They don't care that OP's obviously trying to be retarded, they just want to pretend, for once in their life, they they're actual intellectuals people listen to and that women enjoy being around.

[Anonymous No.4433939]

>>4433901
>>4428004
>thinking anyone is replying seriously
uh what

[Anonymous No.4434402]

>>4433891
My statements about what to say to impress girls has nothing to do with the relative merits of any work of literature.

In general appreciation of literature is not necessary to impress girls with literature.

Some girls know what they're talking about and will call you on your shit if you're a faker. These girls are wonderful and if they're also cute you should date them with an eye to marryin'. But most don't and for them superficial knowledge of the right namedrops is sufficient to touch their yonis.

>tfw didn't marry qt3.14 9/10 ice blonde who laughed at all the same lines I did during that performance of The Crucible

[Anonymous No.4434527]

>>4433901
>pretend, for once in their life, they they're actual intellectuals people listen to and that women enjoy being around.
How can you tell if a woman has an orgasam?

Who cares!