a challenge for all you short short story writers out there. write whatever based on this prompt: "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.

File: 100 KB, 783x377, 1238271000338.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:38:20 2010 No.440135 [Reply] [Original]

a challenge for all you short short story writers out there. write whatever based on this prompt:

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:40:20 2010 No.440140 File: 89 KB, 788x728, drkashmir.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I, Dr. Kashmir, am not a meme.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:40:20 2010 No.440138 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. And then a skeleton popped out.

>>	onionring !IBdmWfSrrg Wed Mar 17 04:40:20 2010 No.440141 would you like to buy my coats for 3 payments of 22.99 each?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:41:20 2010 No.440144 >>440138 OP here, more like this

>>	FlankedPhalanx !!0hLrAXZRKlI Wed Mar 17 04:41:20 2010 No.440147 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "so thats the name of the elusive doctor who" said rose she bit off her left finger and walked away

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:50:20 2010 No.440171 >>440147 Mysterious!

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:54:20 2010 No.440183 Kashmir. That was his name. A doctor, he said.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:54:20 2010 No.440186 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "Wanna fuck?"

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 04:59:20 2010 No.440200

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
Rosa then observed a transmigrational television projection (her ex-boyfriend, Marcus Aquinas, recently deceased, against a background that looked like a matte painting) on his naked stomach. His projection proceeded to reach out of it's seemingly only observable world, into the world of Kashmir's curtained flesh. The doctor observed with admiration as what remained of the hairs on his pelvis were gently rolled around prodigious fingers, the mouth of her Marcus emerged from his plane to take his giant cock within. He sucked lovingly to many musical gasps, encouragements, restrained glances from the doctor. Only once more, and the loving deposit of future life was the digestion of a now physiological spirit. Rosa then died from 10 year delayed effects of food poisoning, and Kashmir stuck her whole head up his ass.

>>	I am the toe that killed Bob Marley !rhyJfmRZHk Wed Mar 17 05:00:20 2010 No.440202 why is everyone suddenly quoting the line I wrote and made a thread about???

>>	-\|- Reichsguard -\|- !!bOOhb8C7gxV Wed Mar 17 05:01:20 2010 No.440207 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "And what do you do?" "I'm a doctor" badumpsshh

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:03:20 2010 No.440218 Kashmir's his name, bein' a doctor's his game. Ball's in your court.

Philip K's Dick !!2u/MkKErSsd Wed Mar 17 05:06:20 2010 No.440226

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"Bullshit" screamed the woman as she grabbed the closest pointed object, in this case, one of the many cheap retractable ballpoint pens given away by big pharm like so many infants nine months after prom.
"Tell me who the fuck you are or else I'm going to jam this pen so far down your throat you'll be signing prescriptions with your asshole."
"I assure you that is not anatomically possible." replied Doctor Kashmir. "Trust me, I'm a fucking doctor."
"Well then, doctor, what seems to be the problem?"
"You have a full grown adult badger jammed into your uterus, what we in the medical community refer to as a 'Whoadamnsomeonetakepicsthey'renotgonnabelievethis' or WDSTPTNGBT! for short."
The woman looked distressed "Is it possible to live a healthy active lifestyle with a badger up my cunt?"
Doctor Kashmir let out a hearty guffaw and collapsed to the floor in spasms of laughter.
Moments later, the woman died
And then Doctor Kashmir was the badger.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:09:20 2010 No.440232 >>440226 >>440218 >>440207 >>440202 >>440200 >>440186 >>440147 >>440141 >>440140 >>440138 >>440135 Terrible, give up now.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:10:20 2010 No.440236 >>440232 Contribute or fuck off.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:12:20 2010 No.440243 >>440232 Badger envy

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:33:20 2010 No.440306

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"Really?" asked Jim, "Well, can you cure cancer?"
"What? No. But I can cure life."
"Uh... what?" replied Jim, getting off his seat slowly.
Kashmir pulled out an axe, "MOTHERFUCKER!"
Jim screamed, and jumped out the window. But he forgot he was on top of a mountain in the Himalayas.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:45:20 2010 No.440331
File: 945 KB, 2560x1024, 1267348717339.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"You can't be!" I exclaimed. "He is!"
"Hello," said the man in the bowler hat whom I had previously assumed to be Doctor Kashmir.

"Well you didn't think that there could be just one, did you?" said the second Doctor Kashmir.

I hadn't thought about that. It made sense, I supposed. It would be a little silly if the universe was contained entirely in the mind of just one being, what if something happened? It must have redundancies!

"I see." I saw.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:49:20 2010 No.440345 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "You're a dentist!" I shouted into his ears. He burst into tears and I felt guilty. So I kicked him in the balls. Actually, now that I reflect on it, that probably wasn't the right reaction.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:54:20 2010 No.440360 >>440331 I like this one

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:56:20 2010 No.440366 >>440147 >she bit off her left finger and walked away >left finger wat

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:57:20 2010 No.440371 >>440360 I second this.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 05:59:20 2010 No.440375 >>440371 I third it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 06:01:20 2010 No.440382 >>440360 >>440371 >>440375 Really? You've quite made my day, /lit/.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:10:20 2010 No.440666

"Who are you?"

"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.

This startled Doctor Kashmir greatly. She stepped away from the mirror frame slightly and repeated the question.

"I've told you once," said the reflection.

"You're lying!"

The Doctor Kashmir in the mirror shrugged. She dug around in the left pocket of his heavy white coat-- or was it her right? My left or your right? -- and fished out her wallet. Then she held her driver's license to the glass - Anna C. Kashmir, born 3rd of March in the Year of our Lord 1963. Or more accurately, "rimhsaK .C annA".

"Oh, for God's sake," said Doctor Kashmir. "We're the same person, right?"

"That was my working assumption," said the woman in the mirror. She pinched a few centimetres' worth of fat from around her waist. "Ugh, how depressing."

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:11:20 2010 No.440669

>>440666
Dr. Kashmir sat down on the small, uncomfortable folding chair in the quiet waiting room. But the Her in the mirror stood, arms crossed petulantly, as though she were waiting for a train.

"I am you," she said, almost crossly.

"But even if we look the same, we can't be the same person!" said Doctor Kashmir. "Otherwise, you'd be moving along with me. This is just some bizarre practical joke, or maybe I wandered through some cloud of hallucinogenic glass… "

"That doesn't seem very likely," said the mirror Kashmir. She rested her chin in the nook between her thumb and forefinger.

"Maybe, but neither does the idea of my reflection coming to life."

"There's one way to settle this," said the mirror Kashmir. "Tell me about yourself."

"Me?" Doctor Kashmir's eyebrows traced a quick sine-wave of surprise across her forehead. "If you're me, wouldn't you already know?"

"That's what I'm trying to ascertain, Doctor Kashmir," said the mirror Her. She was cool as the glass which contained her.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:14:20 2010 No.440683

>>440666
>>440669
Doctor Kashmir sighed. She racked her brain for what to do, when a strange feeling of calm overtook her. She took a deep breath and looked herself in the eyes.

Pretend you're a Murakami protagonist, she told herself.

"I am Anna Kashmir. I was born in Trefally Valley, in Victoria. My brother is a football player, and I work in the pathology department of St. Vincent's Hospital in Sydney."

"What a coincidence!"

"What?"

"So do I," the mirror Her said. A smug, almost teacher-like expression filled out her round face. "You're clearly me. Now we have to work out what to do about this."

Doctor Kashmir took a deep breath. "No, you're not. You can't be. There's only one person in this whole world like me. If you were me, you would have had to have had the same experiences as me, and you would have needed to respond in the same way I did. You'd need to have my memories, my thoughts. That's what makes a person. You understand me?

You'd need to have been dumped on the night of the year nine formal by Stephen Chow. You'd need to have been at the Radio Birdman reunion tour back in '95. You'd need to have a daughter named Rebecca, and she, too, would need to have an allergy to tinned spaghetti."

The mirror Her was silent. She stepped back and took out her own uncomfortable chair.

Doctor Kashmir thrust her hands into her skirt pockets and continued.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:17:20 2010 No.440695

>>440683

"What's more, you'd need to have a complex about your weight; you'd need to wake up nine times out of ten hating yourself and not even have the energy to crawl out of bed. You'd always be worrying you'd left the gas on whenever you leave the house; you'd always walk into a crowded room and feel like everyone's ignoring you. You'd bite your nails. You'd regret you didn't go to art school. You'd pick your nose and eat the boogeys if no-one's looking! And sometimes you'd leave a sanitary pad in all day and wouldn't notice until your husband pointed out the smell. You'd need to be a worthless, dispensable, walking garbage dump of a person like that!" Doctor Kashmir raised her arms triumphantly.

"That's the kind of person I am!"

A quiet autumn breeze rattled the venetian blinds, and cast a tiger-stripe pattern of shadow across the room. The lines of light and dark didn't apply to the mirror Kashmir. Her expression softened, sadly, gently. Then she said, with some difficulty, "You're right, you aren't me."

"Bloody oath I'm not!" Doctor Kashmir paused - oh, those words made her feel so warm. Medical school could never cure her of that Victoria twang, nothing ever would, not marrying a Singaporean salaryman, not some mirror impostor, nothing. It was her own, a little adjunct she treasured, like an appendix, a keychain, a serif.

Then it hit her like a flash of bright, clear light. "Shit a bloody brick!" she thought. The mirror Doctor Kashmir spoke like a private school headmistress. No accent at all. Doctor Kashmir smiled; bared those pearly whites.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:18:20 2010 No.440702

>>440695
A muffled announcement rang out over the hospital PA. "Paging Dr. Kashmir to East Wing, Room 314. Dr. Kashmir, Dr. Kashmir to East Wing, Room 314."

"You should go," said the mirror.

"No, it can wait," said Doctor Kashmir. She sat down in front of the mirror, cross legged like a schoolgirl at assembly.

Doctor Kashmir smiled again. "What are things like on your side?"

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:27:20 2010 No.440741 >>his heavy white coat Oh great, you can tell where I forgot to proofread after changing the character's gender midstream. Fuck my life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 07:27:20 2010 No.440738 >>440702 Don't stop now, baby You keep me coming again and again

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 09:48:22 2010 No.440895 [DELETED]

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Anonymous Wed Mar 17 10:02:22 2010 No.440917 [DELETED]

>>440133
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>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:23:20 2010 No.441250 'What are your favourite rock songs from the 70s?' 'Who are you' 'I'm Doctor Kashmir" Said Doctor Kashmir "I don't recognise that song" Said the intern "Really? It goes: Shariah don't like it, I'm Doctor Kashmir, Doctor Kashmir. It's by the Clash" wut

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:29:20 2010 No.441269 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. And then John was a zombie.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:32:20 2010 No.441276 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir", said Doctor Kashmir. "No, Doctor Kashmir, you are the demons." And then Doctor Kashmir was a zombie.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:46:20 2010 No.441317 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "You were my first time..." admitted the princess. "I know," said the Doctor as he nonchalantly puffed on a cigarette. "THEN WHO WAS PHONE"

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:49:20 2010 No.441329 There was a man, and that man was Doctor Kashmir. I could tell when he said "I'm Doctor Kashmir," but by then, I already knew.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:56:20 2010 No.441338 I stood over the crumpled body, knife in hand, breathing heavily. The deed was done; Doctor Kashmir was no more. Hands shaking, I lit a cigarette and turned around. "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:56:20 2010 No.441337 >>441250 I'm still laughing five minutes after reading I don't even know why.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 13:59:20 2010 No.441344 >>441250 so good

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 14:25:20 2010 No.441386 Thread archive requested

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 14:28:20 2010 No.441395 File: 25 KB, 400x566, clash-joestrummer1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>441250 Joe Strummer >>approves

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 14:32:20 2010 No.441412

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"And who is the man next to you?"
"He is Doctor Kashmir."
"And who am I?"
"You are Doctor Kashmir."
"So we are all Doctor Kashmir?"
"Everyone is Doctor Kashmir."

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 14:35:20 2010 No.441423 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. Then Doctor Kashmir was a bear.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 14:38:20 2010 No.441430 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "Frankly my bear, I don't give a damn."

>>	Quyen !mgEyLOjsnM Wed Mar 17 14:38:20 2010 No.441433 >>441430 hohohoho

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 14:39:20 2010 No.441435 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir" Said Doctor Kashmir "Who is number one?" "You...are number six"

>>	GTVA Colossus !moot/UIi/o Wed Mar 17 15:15:20 2010 No.441483 "Who are you?" "I'm Batman. I mean, I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Batman, disguised as Doctor Kashmir. "Funny, you look like Batman to me." "Why would you think that?" "Well, Doctor Kasmir doesn't wear a turban with batears."

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:03:20 2010 No.442159 "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir" Said Doctor Kashmir "Lies!" Arnold reached at his captor's face and tore his skin from his face, it was mask. Doctor Kashmir was Kimmo Alm.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:17:20 2010 No.442186 File: 821 KB, 284x210, AG 1234508377019.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. "That can't be!" exclaimed Doctor Kashmir.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:24:22 2010 No.442208 [DELETED]

>>440133
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>>	Lexiphagon !kfpky4RbHc Wed Mar 17 19:26:20 2010 No.442220 Too much like /a/'s Kubo -Kubo, we must stop Kubo -But Kubo -Yes Kubo? -YOU are Kubo And then Kubo was Kubo

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:27:20 2010 No.442223 >>442220 what is kubo? (not an anime fan)

>>	Lexiphagon !kfpky4RbHc Wed Mar 17 19:28:20 2010 No.442228 >>442223 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1nyd_o3IYo&feature=related

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:31:20 2010 No.442241

After Doctor Kashmir finished the surgery of the poor Oliver Twist, Oliver lifts his head denying the effect of his drugs and asked "Who are you?" Doctor Kashmir was half way out of the door before he turned around and said "I'm Doctor Kashmir" before he started his glorious walk to the sink,the sink of champions.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:35:20 2010 No.442253

>>442159

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.

"Let's see about that!"

The gang proceeded to take the monstrous doctor's mask off to reveal -

"Old Man Chalmers!" they cried

"So it was you who tried to steal the diamonds of the Akmal Raj, dressing up as the feared figure of Doctor Kashmir to scare everyone away,".

"Yes it was I, and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:38:20 2010 No.442263 File: 43 KB, 533x667, tim_roth.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>442253 "Who are you?" "I'm Tim Roth," said Doctor Kashmir.

Storyfag Wed Mar 17 19:50:20 2010 No.442293

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"I thought I was waiting for Doctor Zabini."
"Doctor Zabini is not in today. I will be your surgeon."

Claudia eyed him suspiciously and shifted uncomfortably in the stirrups. It was difficult to stare someone down when their field of vision included parts of your cervix. Doctor Kashmir plucked a pair of latex gloves out of a carton on the counter, holding them in one hand like a bouquet of dead flowers.

"You are here for, ah, the.... procedure?"

"Yes."

He sniffed loudly and smacked his lips. Claudia could not suppress a grimace. Where the fuck was the anesthesia tech? She was irritable already from her bout of vomiting this morning, and the fact that the clinic had apparently switched surgeons on her was not doing anything to help her mood.

Storyfag Wed Mar 17 19:51:20 2010 No.442299

Doctor Kashmir stretched the gloves over his broad hands, flexing his fingers with a squealing that seemed much too loud for the small, sparse room. Claudia sat further back in the chair. The hair rose on the back of her neck.

"You are not the first woman I have.... seen this morning."

He picked up a scalpel from the tray of instruments near the box of gloves. From where Claudia sat, she could see that it had a faint orangey tinge. From where she sat trussed up like a hog, she could smell rust.

Claudia thought his nails seemed much too long for a surgeon's.

"I-I don't want to do this. I'd like to wait for Doctor Zabini."

Doctor Kashmir smiled under his moustache. Claudia realized for the first time that all of his teeth were small and very sharp, his canines so long as to almost overhang his lip.

Storyfag Wed Mar 17 19:52:20 2010 No.442302

>>442299

"Doctor Zabini is not in today."

He moved towards her, laying a hand on her bent knee. She tried to jerk it sideways, but he held it in place with an icy and superhuman grip.

"I will be your surgeon."

His nails dug into her leg. She opened her mouth to scream and found that she couldn't. Her stomach lurched.

Doctor Kashmir took hold of her other knee, and his lips rolled back in a horrible smile.

The phone on the wall rang.
To Claudia, it was like the voice of an angel.

Doctor Kashmir scowled and stepped back, raising a hand. The phone jumped the few inches into his grasp.

"Yes?"

He listened for a moment and made a noncommittal grunt. He hung up the phone. Claudia's heart stopped.

Storyfag Wed Mar 17 19:53:20 2010 No.442307

>>442302

"That was your son. You are not listed for an appointment today. Sign out with the receptionist, and have a pleasant afternoon."

His face flipped upside-down, and he pulled a lever on the wall that she had never noticed before. The door to the hallway sprang open, flooded with light. The chair lurched beneath her, and she flew out.

For a few seconds, darkness.

Faces swam before her eyes in a sea of oil.

"Claudia? Claudia?"

The blurriness resolved itself into a flesh-colored blob, and then a face. It took her a few minutes to recognize her fiancee.

"Will she be alright, Doctor?"
"She did fine. The anesthesia will take about twenty minutes to wear off completely."

At the word "Doctor", Claudia sat bolt upright and almost vomited. There was a hole of pain just below her stomach. She looked up directly into a nametag.

Zabini.

"But... Doctor Kashmir..."
Zabini looked confused.
"I don't believe there's a Doctor Kashmir working here."
"Then... our son?"

Her fiancee looked embarrassed.

"Claudia, darling... isn't that we came here to take care of?"

Claudia saw red miasma at the edges of her vision. Unconsciousness wasn't far away.

Before she dropped off, she mumbled a final question.

"Then.... who was phone?"

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 19:55:20 2010 No.442316

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"That's impossible!" the other man cried, much to the esteemed Doctor Kashmir's chagrin.
"Why is it so impossible that I am Doctor Kashmir?" asked Doctor Kashmir.
"Because Doctor's have arms," came the reply.
And Doctor Kashmir had no arms.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 20:04:20 2010 No.442347 File: 62 KB, 640x480, 1264279260890.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir. AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 20:04:20 2010 No.442349

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir
"Is that why you do the things you do?" said the woman
"Well, sometimes" said Doctor Kashmir
"Well, then why?" said the woman
"Well, I'd like to think that I do things out of my own reason" said Doctor Kashmir
"Wouldn't that be nice" said the woman
"Yes, it would" said Doctor Kashmir

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 20:05:20 2010 No.442352 >>442347 Hemingway was an atheist? Waaaa?

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 20:09:20 2010 No.442371

Well, the sailor said: "I'm looking for a doc, they call him Doctor Kashmir." The frog-eyed man said: "That can't be; that's my doc's maiden name!" And the man with the wing-nut ears said: "Hey, he fixed my leg back in Spain," and Doctor Kashmir crossed himself beneath the table. Well, Robert Moore stepped up and said: "That doctor saved my wife," and he drew a silver pistol and a wicked bowie knife; and he shot the man with the wing-nut ears straight between the eyes, and Doctor Kashmir moaned under the table.

David Xanatos Wed Mar 17 20:23:20 2010 No.442375

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
"But that can't be!" replied Doctor Kashmir, "For you see I am Doctor Kashmir!"
"I find that difficult to believe" Doctor Kashmir retorted, "you and I look nothing alike."
This caught Doctor Kashmir off guard. After a moment's pause he finally replied
"Well... our noses are kind of similar."
"If by 'similar' you mean we both have two nostrils than yes," Doctor Kashmir replied impatiently "other than that they are nothing alike at all!"
"I say" Doctor Kashmir observed "this is getting to be quite silly."
'I agree" Doctor Kashmir agreed. "Perhaps it would be best for both of us if we both agreed to assume different names."
Doctor Kashmir was puzzled by this. "Why both of us?" he asked "Couldn't one of us just change our name and let the other man remain Doctor Kashmir?"
"You know nothing of how this whole thing works, do you?" Doctor Kashmir replied gracing Doctor Kashmir with his best condescending stare.
"No I suppose I don't." Doctor Kashmir admitted.
"Actually, this is all getting to be even sillier" Doctor Kashmir said suddenly. "I've got another idea that involves no name changing or any other shenanigans at all."
"Brilliant!" Doctor Kashmir exclaimed. "Let's hear it."
"Well it's pretty simple..." Doctor Kashmir began, and on saying this he drew a revolver from his coat and shot Doctor Kashmir through the heart.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 17 20:25:20 2010 No.442381 >>442375 >have two nostrils, than yes >than :O

>>	David Xanatos Wed Mar 17 20:26:37 2010 No.442386 >>442381 Whoops my bad. I suppose you could either assume that I was trying to type 'then' or I missed the word 'more' after 'two'.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 20:32:20 2010 No.442417

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.
I took a step back and pivoted around smoothly, like a machine. The Doctor's eyes widened when he saw my cheshire-cat like smile. They quickly returned to normal, he was evidently used to insane grins in his profession.
"I have today's pills," he said with a phony twinkle in his eye, thrusting out a small paper cup towards me. I glanced at the contents, large, brightly colored capsules. I wriggled around in my straightjacket a bit, leaned forward in mock interest, and bashed my forehead with tremendous force into his face. His neck whipped to the side and blood flowed out of his nose, at first at a trickle but then, a spring. Staggering back into a shelf of psychology volumes, he fell to the ground slowly, the principles of psychology volumes 2-6 toppling down next to him. Keeping my smile beaming, I began to jump on his face gleefully like a toddler on a trampoline. More thick books fell to the tiled floor with flops of protest. (TO BE CONTINUED)

GL Pretentious Hipster !!uIkcv+zTDkg Wed Mar 17 21:02:20 2010 No.442522

"Who are you," I asked, warily. The asylum was condemned and abandoned long ago. I had no looked forward to the task of coming to take inventory, doubting highly that there was anything left behind that was salvageable, and even then, worth the expense to remove and clean and put up on auction. I stood, poised on the edge of drawing the revolver that was in its holster against my breast, under my suit jacket.

The man in front of me was old, though it was an indefinite old, not an aged old, of wrinkles and jowls and arthritic joints. His hair was predominately grey, though there were streaks of black still in it. A pair of glasses had almost accomplished its mission of sliding right off the end of his nose. The bifocal lenses were dirty and scratched.

His lab coat might have been white at one time, long ago, but was now a dingy grey, stains marking where some fluid or other could not be removed, despite the most diligent application upon contact of seltzer and the most liberal use of bleach. His shoes, leather wingtips, were well worn, having passed the point of merely being 'broken in' some time ago.

The most peculiar thing about him, upon my cursory examination, were his hands -- they were immaculate. Oh, they had the leathery appearance of the hands of a man who had smoked for many a year, but they were clean, nails neatly cut, as if he were freshly scrubbed and ready to enter the operating theatre to perform necessary and life-saving surgery.

GL Pretentious Hipster !!uIkcv+zTDkg Wed Mar 17 21:02:20 2010 No.442523

>>442522

I had no reason to believe that this was the case, however.

He stood there, just inside of the doorway, illuminated by my electric torch, casting a long, wavering shadow down the hall. The way my hand shook at the surprise of finding a living soul in this wretched, condemned shanty of a psychiatric hospital made his shadow seem jittery, as though it were a living thing in its own right, looking this way and that, as though nervous.

Or quivering with anticipation.

He smiled them, the kind of smile that an older, fatherly figure would smile. It was the kind of smile I remembered from my youth, when I took all manner of creatures, turtles, squirrels, dogs and cats, and once a rabbit, to Doctor Simmons, the local veterinarian. Often there was nothing that could be done, but he would give me that smile, and it reassured me.

If found it in no way reassuring now.

I nearly dropped the torch and reached for my revolver as he spoke. His voice was creaky, groaning at first, as though it were an ancient engine or machine that had fallen into disuse, but was now called upon, enticed, straining and reluctant, to service. His teeth where stained the yellow of one who smokes too many cigarettes and drinks too much coffee.

"I'm Doctor Kashmir," he said.

Anonymous Wed Mar 17 21:03:22 2010 No.442528

>>440132
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Anonymous Wed Mar 17 21:47:22 2010 No.442598

>>440133
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Anonymous Wed Mar 17 22:12:20 2010 No.442639

I awoke tied down by various leather belts and devices. I found myself stuck in a room that was illuminated by a crimson light as if used for a professional photographer. My head was locked in place to the west where a large door stood. The menacing exit opened slowly. Before me stood a creature decked in black. Their face was covered by a gas mask, eyes by thick goggles with lupus lenses.
Inspecting more I saw the person before me was woven in black leather pieced together by various metallic zippers. Quickly I realised the being was a man that stood in the doorway, for a phallic object protruded from an opened zipper between his legs.
"Who are you?" I asked in a small voice
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir, he then began to walk towards my locked body. Doctor Kashmir proceeded to take my anal virginity for an indeterminable amount of time.

Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Mar 18 00:19:20 2010 No.442788

"Who are you?"
"I'm Doctor Kashmir," said Doctor Kashmir.

Ivy goggled.
"You're not serious. THE Doctor Kashmir? YOU'RE Doctor Kashmir?" Her voice rose with surprise.

"None other," Doctor Kashmir affirmed, clasping his gloved hands behind his back. The crisp leather squeaked softly, yet audibly in the rather awkward silence of the drawing-room.

Ivy's eyes were still round with shock, her wine-glass frozen half-way to her lips. "You're having a laugh," she said weakly, making a visible attempt to regain her poise.

"No, not at all. I'm quite serious."

"But..."

"Very serious," the Doctor said, cutting her off.

Ivy opened and closed her mouth, visibly struggling for words. She took a swig from her wine-glass, both to steady herself and for some time to think of a response.

"Hm. I see," she said, the ice creeping back into her tones. "I thought the Doctor Kashmir I knew was too reserved for acts of derring-do like this. The Doctor Kashmir I knew never barged into rooms, sticking swords into people, slicing their arms and heads off, and...and the like." She waved a slim white hand at the drawing-room's walls, reddened with spatters of blood, the carpets soaking under the hacked corpses.

The Doctor winced slightly. "My apologies for deceiving you. But the agency hunting you would surely have kept me from approaching your house - nay, your street itself if I had made my intentions clear. So I took up the guise of a doctor." He cleared his throat a little uncomfortably. "I admit I was unsuccessful at drawing attention to myself even then. I did not expect to meet you in person at Oxford."

Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Thu Mar 18 00:20:20 2010 No.442797

Ivy nodded. "Yes, yes...I would never have expected a man of such eloquence to be so heartless," she murmured, half to herself.

"My lady, those men were here to silence you forever." Doctor Kashmir's eyes narrowed, his mouth tightening. "Would you have preferred to take their place? See here." He stooped suddenly, plucking something up off the floor. Then, with quick, catlike steps, he approached Ivy and extended his hand.
A derringer, made to extend from the concealment of the sleeve, rested in his palm. The arm-brace was hopelessly mangled from his swift sword, but the gun itself was whole.

Ivy stared at it, lips quivering, her eyes shining with tears. "But why?" she whispered, looking up at the Doctor.

"That, my lady," Doctor Kashmir said, with a frown, "is exactly what I'm trying to find out. But now, we must leave. Those three did not report back. They will send more to find out what happened. By that time, you and I must be far from here." He threw the derringer to the ground, and stamped on it contemptuously with his boot. "Leave all you can spare behind. We go lightly." His hand fell to the hilt of his sword.

Anonymous Thu Mar 18 05:50:22 2010 No.443656

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/lit/ - Literature