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/lit/ - Literature

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438849 No.438849 [Reply] [Original]

hey /lit/ so I'm writing a film noir short film (yes, it counts as literature, as any of you screenwriters know) and I wanted to get some ideas from you guys. So, boiled down plot. Detective guy is following a murder case. But weird shit starts going down. The blood found at the scene is registered as his, his office complex is entirely gone when he returns to it, when his ID card is swiped, system says no such man exists, etc. Anyway, I'm trying to write an ending to this screenplay, and after everything I've done, my original plans for an ending just won't work under the circumstances. The easiest route to take would to Dark City this shit and say its all some kind of experimental world where he's a subject being tested, but that's too easy. Any ideas for resolution or ending? Thanks guys, you're the best.

>> No.438852

Are you just doing this for fun? If not, then don't. Producers don't want noir scripts anymore.

>> No.438861

A group, whoever, happens to be systematically erasing his existence so they can kill him.
It happened to the original murder victim as well.

>> No.438867

rofl.

>> No.438862

It was all a dream.

>> No.438864

>>438852
He took six hits of LSD and forgot.

>> No.438876

>>438852
It's for a course I'm taking.
>>438864
lol but no

>> No.438881

He has slipped into an alternate reality where his alternate self was, in fact, the killer.

>> No.438888

GO TWILIGHT ZONE ON IT AND PROVIDE NO FUCKING EXPLANATION

>> No.438891
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438891

>>438849
>writes 200 pages of screenplay
>has no idea of an ending

no. say you're joking, please.

or fill us in.

>> No.438908

He hasn't begun writing it yet bro, he's still in the prewriting phase.

>> No.438917

Dark City was really cool up until the part where he becomes a fucking God.

>> No.438915

>>438891
Most screenplays max out at 125 pages. I've yet to see a 200 page screenplay. In addition, the OP said it was a short film -- so it's not actually likely to exceed 30 pages.

>> No.438919

No explanation. Just turn the idea into a Möbius strip. In order to get his identity back, it turns out that he has to remove someone else, so he takes their identity, and around it goes.

>> No.438920

Im curious anon whats your screenwriting course like? The uni I'm going to doesn't offer one, but I'm an apprentice to an actual playwright.

>> No.438924

>>438891
>writes a short film of more like 18 pages
original idea was along the lines of >>438861 but my writing has deviated slightly from my original ideas. I could go back and fix the setups to better suit such an ending, but I was simply wondering if /lit/ had a better idea

>> No.438927

Ok, Im an idiot so you had no idea what the ending was before you started writing? Wow that's wacky.

>> No.438929

>>438920
What does a playwright's apprentice do? I'm imagining a teenager running around sharpening Shakespeare's quills.

>> No.438936

>>438908
Thank you for explaining. I have this outline and a couple pages written.
>>438920
It's pretty neat. We do a lot of reading and discussion with Robert McKee's "Story" and basically do a lot of workshops and writing.

>> No.438940

Have the femme fatale character taunt him by constantly suggest that he eat sugar, milk aphids, carry objects 500 times his size, and that he use his mandibles to carve leafs into building material.

Finally, when it looks like he's reached the end of his mystery, she cackles, "what are you talking about ! LEAF-CUTTER ANTS DON'T HAVE IDENTITIES!"

And then he'll look in the mirror and see that he is an ant

And then he'll look in another mirror and see that she is an ant

And then it turns out that the mirrors themselves are ants

And then it turns out that you, the writer, are an ant

And so are the readers

Ants, all of them

Leaf-cutter ants

>> No.438948

>>438927
No no, you're right. I haven't written much. Mainly prewriting. It's hard to explain, but from what I've experimented with, my original ideas don't seem to flow like I want them to.

>> No.438946

>>438929

Basically I write, he workshops my shit and tells me what I can do to improve. I also do acting/directing on top of this so.

>> No.438953

>>438946

Where are you taking this course?

>> No.438956

>>438953

Midwestern State Uni, but you can do it anywhere, if you have a prof who's a playwright.

>> No.438959

>>438948

What have you done in terms of prewriting? Storyboards and shit I presume?

>> No.438978

>>438959
Yep, several story boards, an outline with labels for changes in story value, turning points, and setups/payoffs, and some sample pages

>> No.438980

The audience is not going to care as much about the explanation behind your main character's fragmenting identity so much as what your main character does to try to get it back.

Try writing the story with an explanation known only to yourself, untold to the audience, and have as your challenge creating a compelling character who reacts with wit and balls to this impossible situation.

A feature script is, in some ways, more like a short story than it is a novel, leaving short scripts like flash fiction. Approach it from that place.

>> No.439010

>>438980
Sounds good to me. The only problem is the short nature of my film. Most of it is spent setting up this deteriorating identity, so there's not much room to have him attempt to reclaim it.

>> No.439047

You need some exposition for yourself too. Like what happens prior to your story and whatnot to keep in the back of your head when you're writing.

>> No.439054

The entire story is just a dying dream, like Jacob's Ladder. His unraveling identity is directly proportionate to his failing body functions. The film ends with him being pronounced dead by a surgeon... or paramedic or whatever.

>> No.439060

>>439047
Yeah, it takes place in a world I created for something else a while ago and I have some background written for the character already. Do you have any ideas for his disappearing identity?

>> No.439082

>>439010

So, you don't know why the main thing in your movie is happening, but you also don't have a protagonist who does anything about it?

Broseph, step it up.

>> No.439083

>>438849
>Any ideas for resolution or ending? Thanks guys, you're the best.

He meets a version of himself from the future, saying he is in grave danger. His existance was erased for his safety so some Time Hunters couldn't find it. Go with something like that.

>> No.439094

>>439060

What if he's the victim of a meaningless prank by some government officials.

What if he's a character whose existence was only meant for one little scene at the beginning, and the rest of his decaying identity is simply him being shuffled out of the movie by the script. The irony is that the script is, indeed, following him, so.

I'm not sure.

You need to reflect on the fact that the explanation for why he is disappearing is not important or interesting. Look at a Buñuel film, in how strange stuff happens all the time, without explanation. That's what makes it AWESOME. All you see is bizarre stuff occurring and people either reacting or not-reacting in interesting ways.

Now think of terrible horror movies which overexplain all manner of ooky-spookiness, or of the last time you saw a movie that was ruined by a twist ending.

>> No.439105

>>439094
He's being trolled hard? That's pretty funny too. You could give it a mindfuck by saying they did it to someone they thought was him, but was just identical to the main character in every way. AND NOW HE'S OUT FOR REVENGE!

>> No.439107

He shouldn't be able to do anything to get his identity back, he should simply be crushed utterly by the situation and despair in vain.

>> No.439115

>>438849

He meets a version of himself from the future, saying he is in grave danger. His existance was erased for his safety so some Time Hunters couldn't find it.

Then have the future version of himself lure him into some sort of underground bunker where he should hide out while the Time Hunters look for him in the world above. Then the future self drugs him.

He wakes up in a bondage set-up. His future self is raping him, "but for your own protection, you see." Your protagonist struggles to free himself. He succeeds, and just before he knocks out his future self, his future self bleats, "you fool! if I don't successfully ejaculate inside of you, you'll never be safe!"

He opens the lid of the shelter and emerges into the world above. He's alone in the desert. He walks along the highway for some time, noticing that everyone in passing cars is shooting him strange looks.

Finally, a cop car appears.

"Thank God, the police!" he cries.
The police come out.
"You dumb fuck. You didn't let yourself get fucked by your future self."
The police laugh at him as they use LASER HANDCUFFS to trap him.
His horrified expression becomes a freeze-frame. Roll credits to the theme from Gremlins.

>> No.439119

>>439107

And then he should start a late-90s rap-metal group and a subtitle should appear on the screen, "AND THAT'S THE STORY BEHIND LIMP BIZKIT."

>> No.439122

>>439115
lol

>> No.439130

He shouldn't be able to do anything to get his identity back, he should simply be crushed by the butt of a fat woman and then farted on repeatedly.

TITLECARD: PLEASE DO THIS TO ME, CLASS. PLEASE DO THIS TO ME.

>> No.439136
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439136

>>439115
I hate you so hard it hurts. It hurts so good.

>> No.439159
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439159

>>439136