It's been a while since we've had one of these. /lit/ Humor thread

File: 104 KB, 732x306, lit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:16:36 2013 No.4381884 [DELETED]

It's been a while since we've had one of these.

/lit/ Humor thread

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:18:35 2013 No.4381893 File: 71 KB, 960x1174, lit has a debate.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:22:35 2013 No.4381900 File: 74 KB, 425x487, My life... I wish....jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:24:35 2013 No.4381904 File: 37 KB, 991x327, lit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381900 >pic related

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:29:36 2013 No.4381915 File: 1.00 MB, 2800x2100, Philosophers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:30:35 2013 No.4381917 File: 112 KB, 922x691, elites.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:36:36 2013 No.4381929 File: 43 KB, 512x359, 1365169687728.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381915 >The French Encyclopaedia >tl;dr always

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:46:35 2013 No.4381952 File: 134 KB, 1000x258, doorknob.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:49:35 2013 No.4381959 File: 39 KB, 717x960, hemingway.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:53:36 2013 No.4381981 File: 119 KB, 921x418, Untitled picturesze.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381959

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:58:09 2013 No.4382001 File: 43 KB, 1477x301, lit funny.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:59:09 2013 No.4382006 File: 99 KB, 1066x811, litfun.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382001

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:01:09 2013 No.4382012 File: 7 KB, 664x167, Noread.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382006

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:03:09 2013 No.4382019 File: 5 KB, 662x92, NSA.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382012

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:11:09 2013 No.4382038 File: 438 KB, 1583x2755, dat meta tho.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:16:09 2013 No.4382048 trolley pls

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:18:09 2013 No.4382054 >>4381959 Does someone have the whole story?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:22:09 2013 No.4382062 >>4382054 http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/3642888 You can still see the pics.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:31:09 2013 No.4382079 File: 256 KB, 1320x1476, 1383101125315.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:31:09 2013 No.4382080 File: 130 KB, 430x700, whitepeopleproblems.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381884 this one actually makes me cringe pretty bad but it's supposed to be funny I think

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:32:09 2013 No.4382083 >>4382062 Do you think Adam Corso would allow this to be released in my friends literature journal that has quite a few blank pages to fill?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:33:09 2013 No.4382084 File: 243 KB, 404x507, lovecraftdoge.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382080 here's another shitty one

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:33:09 2013 No.4382085 >>4382019 At least you'll have one guaranteed reader... ;_;

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:35:09 2013 No.4382090 >>4382084 here's a classic made by some 2clever fag about how symbolism isn't a thing

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:37:10 2013 No.4382092 File: 47 KB, 574x600, symbolism.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382090 forgot pic

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:37:10 2013 No.4382093

>>4382080
You see, it's funny because anxious and angry suburban teenagers who don't fit in at school are typically the ones that identify the most with Holden Caulfield. It's a very funny and original joke. I don't think I've ever seen someone make fun of The Catcher in the Rye before, actually.

Did you know that Holden Caulfield complains a lot? I bet you didn't.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:38:09 2013 No.4382096 File: 307 KB, 700x1096, writersblock.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382092 writer's block

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:39:09 2013 No.4382097 File: 484 KB, 1137x1972, 1378184446121.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382079 Better version

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:39:09 2013 No.4382098 >>4382092 I've never really understood why it's a Venn diagram when the message is supposed to be that the two subjects have no similarities.

>>	Deep&Edgy !!BfzNblz4cXS Wed Dec 18 16:40:10 2013 No.4382100 >>4382092 >intersection left blank really?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:40:10 2013 No.4382101 >>4382092 >>4382092 Holy Shit This ! I remember writing long novels describing why an author would make a character do something like coughing

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:40:10 2013 No.4382102 File: 632 KB, 570x765, 1380201824659.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382084

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:41:10 2013 No.4382104 >>4382096 That one's mostly supposed to be self-deprecating.

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:42:10 2013 No.4382105

>>4382093
>"He's just so annoying, like, maybe if you stopped complaining you'd have friends!"
>"And he smokes and drinks, what does he think that makes him cool?"

The only thing worse than this is the literature teacher who's just too cool to understand the book and agrees with the students that it sucks.

>>	Deep&Edgy !!BfzNblz4cXS Wed Dec 18 16:44:09 2013 No.4382108 >>4382093 tips deerstalker

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:44:09 2013 No.4382109 File: 229 KB, 977x919, englishmajor.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382104 Yeah I know, I like that one. This one's probably my favirote

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:44:09 2013 No.4382111 >>4381959 JAHOOKIE!

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:45:09 2013 No.4382112 File: 84 KB, 445x290, 1378143048383.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382102 >Reply

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:46:09 2013 No.4382116 File: 25 KB, 628x351, bukowskicleverbot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382109

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:47:09 2013 No.4382119 File: 42 KB, 500x376, perfectthe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382116

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:48:09 2013 No.4382120 File: 101 KB, 500x300, shortstory.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382119 And that's more pictures than I thought I had and I'm not going to look for more

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:51:09 2013 No.4382125 >>4382097 the third footnote always kills me

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:52:09 2013 No.4382127 File: 49 KB, 900x365, 1386280044599.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382112 >infiniter reflect

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:53:09 2013 No.4382132 File: 125 KB, 301x251, folan[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382105 >He didn't even bang that hooker! What a pussy, bro!

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:55:09 2013 No.4382136 File: 205 KB, 960x979, 1378880872409.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:56:09 2013 No.4382141 File: 522 KB, 490x265, 1369078551062.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382127

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:57:09 2013 No.4382142 >>4381900 this picture is stupid

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:57:09 2013 No.4382143 >>4382132 Fuck, yes, exactly

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 16:58:09 2013 No.4382144 >>4382093 I never noticed this, my fellow gentleman. I will have to revisit the novel once I have finished reading the Fountainhead by acclaimed libertarian novelist Ayn Rand.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:06:42 2013 No.4382165 >>4382144 Is this just a slightly more wordy version of "tips fedora?"

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:26:42 2013 No.4382209 File: 373 KB, 974x1000, Fuck you, cunt.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382092 Oh god, that pic still makes me mad as fuck

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:28:42 2013 No.4382214 File: 389 KB, 574x600, 1387402651417.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382092 revision

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:29:42 2013 No.4382218 >>4382209 Lel faggot, do you even deconstruct?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:31:42 2013 No.4382223 File: 96 KB, 465x600, 1363050765994.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381915 >Plato looking up >Aristotle looking down Every time

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:32:42 2013 No.4382225

>>4382214

This picture is misguiding. Mis-en-Scene is utilised by any writer who wishes to utilise it. The writer of the essay would have to refer to other 'blue' objects in the novel to assume any allusion to depressive states - or at least, this would get the grade.

Anyone can interpret anything as anything - it's about connecting related dots (which they warn you not to do lest you end up in the asylum)

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:36:42 2013 No.4382234 >>4382225 except how many authors of novels just say "take from it what you will, and take from it whatever has the most meaning to you personally." the majority

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:51:42 2013 No.4382280

>>4382234

People read what they see, will read what they will, and no writer wishes to create 1 dimensional characters, or sell no books. Writers might be the first to understand the subjectivity of character, hence why 3-dimensional characters are more successful than 1-dimensional. People take what they will from life and everything and It is the writers job in life to accommodate as many people as they can - this means making the story relatable to as many people as possible, which means writing 100 stories in 1 - 100 interpretations.

Of course the author is saying something themselves but they wouldn't be naive enough to expect you to understand it right away.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 17:52:42 2013 No.4382282 >>4382097 >and but so you all know him this whole thing killed me then, killed me now happy i saw it unfold in realtime.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 18:00:42 2013 No.4382296 >>4382282 haha, did you recognize that phrase, too? fucking nice

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 18:04:42 2013 No.4382309 >>4382296 >>4382282 I don't get it. Did David Foster Wallace use "and but so" in his writing alot?

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 18:05:42 2013 No.4382311

>>4382282
>>4382296
ohhhh shit
is that because he occasionally strung together conjunctions to affect an informal, colloquial tone in his fiction
shit, I just fell off my chair because I'm laughing so fucking hard

>>4382309
yeah man he did it like four times in Infinite Jest
shit's funny as fuck

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 18:05:42 2013 No.4382312 >>4382309 And but so [1] [1] Yes.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 19:49:53 2013 No.4382585 File: 24 KB, 1148x257, 1387414167459.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] This reminds me of you, /lit/

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 19:52:52 2013 No.4382594 File: 89 KB, 1194x848, 1386890055512.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 19:52:52 2013 No.4382595 >>4382585 jesus. this is the feeling I've spent my whole life trying to overcome. finally have alpha now

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 19:54:52 2013 No.4382597 Basically this http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4258911 contains a lot of relevant material (you can see pictures) Also some edgy idiot gets hilariously trolled in the thread as a bonus.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 19:56:52 2013 No.4382605 >>4382585 >not turning around and confessing your pure love in a romantic-comedy style monologue right then and there How can you fuck up so badly

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 20:00:52 2013 No.4382617

Rate my short story /lit/. It's called Mr Doggle's Wonderful Penis

Mr Doggle had a wonderful penis. A scrandtacular, pendiferous penis. If you asked it a question, it would always know the answer. If you patted it on the head three times, it would give you a cookie. If you tickled it's chin, it would tell you a bed time story. One of these bedtime stories went like this:

There once was a boy named Neberon. He liked to walk down the street after dark. One day he bumped into a dingdong named whodabby, who was hobnobbin with the jews. But oh no! He stuck his toe in a pot of jam, and all the churches fell down.

Mr Doggle loved his penis, as did all of the townsfolk. But there was one townsfolk who was jealous of Mr Doggles penis: this man's name was Butt Henry. Butt Henry would always tell jokes, but no one ever paid attention to his jokes, because they were too busy patting Mr Doggles penis on the head. So one day, Butt Henry took a knife, and STABBED Mr Doggle's penis. It bled and bled, and the townsfolk were quite afraid: what if Mr Doggle's penis died? Who would tell their children bed time stories, or answer their questions, or give them wonderful delicous cookies? Who they asked, who?

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 20:01:52 2013 No.4382621

The answer, it turned out, was nobody. Mr Doggle's penis died, three days later. The townsfolk were quite upset. Without the bedtime stories of Mr Doggle's penis, the children became rambunctious. They began having sex with goats, and sheep, and elephants, and all different kinds of animals. In a tough situation like this, the townsfolk would normally ask Mr Doggle's penis what to do, but without his penises sage words of wisdom, the townsfolk were too stupid to come to a decision on any course of action, so they simply allowed their children to continue having sex with animals. It was strange and disturbing at first, but over time became routine, and eventually it became abnormal for children NOT to engage in sexual relations with members of another species.

Meanwhile, Butt Henry suddenly found that he had an audience for his jokes. So he would tell his jokes, and people would listen. But they still didn't laugh. This made Butt Henry very sad, so he decided to shove a pinecone up his ass. It felt fine going in, almost enjoyable, but then when Butt Henry finally got bored with having a pinecone up his ass and decided to pull it out, the pain was excruciating, and he was unable to pull it more than an inch before it's scales became completely embedded into the flesh of his sphincter. He called an ambulance, which whisked him away, but only blocks away from the hospital the driver of the ambulance cried in alarm: there was a child having sex with a rooster, right in the middle of the road! The ambulance swerved and slammed into a tree. Another ambulance eventually arrived to carry everyone from the first ambulance to the hospital, but by the time Butt Henry was finally brought to the ER, it was too late; his ass had to be amputated. Butt Henry was quite upset at first, but he decided to make the best of the situation, and had his ass stuffed by the local taxidermist. He mounted his own ass above the mantle, where it remains to this day.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 20:05:53 2013 No.4382636

THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE CONTAINS THE OPINION OF AN AMERICAN
PLEASE TAKE MOMENT TO PAUSE WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GATHER FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO YOUR COMPUTER
YOU ARE ALSO ENCOURAGED TO USE THE 'PRINT SCREEN' FUNCTION ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO MAKE RECORD OF WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS

*** - NOW FOLLOWING IS THE OPINION OF AN AMERICAN - ***

>>4382617
>>4382621
I kind of like this story

***- THIS HAS BEEN THE OPINION OF AN AMERICAN - ***
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION
YOU MAY NOW RESUME YOUR SCROLLING OR OTHER ACTIVITIES

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 20:08:52 2013 No.4382649 >>4382636 every trip becomes a satire of itself; just as expected.

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 22:04:00 2013 No.4382960

>>4382605
>"Listen, I fucked up. I know it. You know it. I'm just a big screw up. Hell, I can't even get outta bed in the morning without messin' SOMETHING up! I'll forget to wear my socks or put on deodorant or comb my hair or something. I'm lazy, I'm insecure, I'm incompetent, I THINK too much, and I don't SAY enough. I'm...I'm...I'm crazy. But I'm crazy for you. That's all I know. And I'm well aware that I don't got a whole lot to offer you here. There's so many guys better for you than me. But if you can just find it in your heart to look past my bare feet in a pair of shoes or my stinky armpits or my messed up hair in the morning when you wake up next to me, I promise I'll make it worth your while. Please...forgive me. Just give me another chance and we...we can be screw ups...together..."
Sex ensues.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 22:43:19 2013 No.4383033 >>4381959 I REMEMBER THIS HOLY SHIT

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 22:47:19 2013 No.4383040

http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4132813
http://pastebin.com/Sfa80CZ3

kid started poetry thread. turned into him posting his anonymous correspondence with some girl(on pastebin). absolutely hilarious.someone ended up reading the whole thing on vocarro.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 22:52:18 2013 No.4383059 File: 4 KB, 240x101, IWASTHEREGANDALF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381959

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:12:20 2013 No.4383101 File: 3 KB, 496x86, lit on moot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Starting a dump

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:13:20 2013 No.4383105 File: 137 KB, 1048x578, You are a woman..png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383101

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:14:20 2013 No.4383107 File: 54 KB, 1875x342, lit on Islam.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383105

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:15:20 2013 No.4383111 File: 127 KB, 1899x341, lit on r9k.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383107

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:16:20 2013 No.4383115 File: 128 KB, 1708x884, lit in charge of reading books.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383111

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:18:21 2013 No.4383119 File: 30 KB, 442x178, lit on the holocaust.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383115 I don't remember what this one is but I'm posting it because the filename I gave it sounds decent

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:19:20 2013 No.4383125 File: 14 KB, 407x286, tumblr_inline.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] recent but golden http://bayimg.com/dAeIaAaFK

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:19:20 2013 No.4383126 File: 984 KB, 3180x2088, lit on nihilism.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383119

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:24:20 2013 No.4383133 File: 47 KB, 480x418, forms.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382223

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:24:20 2013 No.4383134 File: 38 KB, 1872x289, 1387427054364.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383126

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:25:20 2013 No.4383138 File: 43 KB, 720x295, [curtain falls].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383134

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:27:20 2013 No.4383140 File: 172 KB, 1897x580, lit in a nutshell.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383138 Shit, I need to organize my image folder

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:27:20 2013 No.4383141 Does anyone have a cap of that thread that had something to do with the simpsons that just went on forever? Can't remember what it specifically was but I just remember it being glorious.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:27:20 2013 No.4383142 >>4383119 was that from the spongebob thread

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 23:38:20 2013 No.4383162 >>4383101 Nice dump, a lot of oldies-but-goodies

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 00:24:20 2013 No.4383229 >>4382102 >ya I rite so wut? >look at dogs face Fuck

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 00:33:24 2013 No.4383245 File: 256 KB, 977x919, paging doctor faggot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4382109

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 00:35:23 2013 No.4383251 File: 267 KB, 600x1178, traditional vs self publishing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 01:09:56 2013 No.4383327 File: 109 KB, 824x281, 1387321936399.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 03:53:52 2013 No.4383633 File: 985 KB, 500x252, 1385655251554.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381915 >That non-chronology everytime

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 04:29:51 2013 No.4383657 >>4381915 >schopenhauer lol'd

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 04:48:51 2013 No.4383675 >>4383245 >being this bitter about wasting your degree

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 05:03:51 2013 No.4383687 File: 139 KB, 1612x884, 1357939798330.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 05:13:51 2013 No.4383693 File: 198 KB, 640x480, patrick.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4383687 >I once jerked off to a fantasy in which I was fucking the grand canyon

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 11:21:14 2013 No.4384102 >>4383687 >>4383693 Does anyone have the /v/ screencap from the anon that had a fetish for the entire state of Colorado I think it was?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 11:31:14 2013 No.4384116 >>4381915 >Bakunin

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 12:59:51 2013 No.4384255 File: 1.74 MB, 2036x3604, ohayo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4384102 it was Ohio

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:30:50 2013 No.4384338 >>4382142 You've never wanted to have the ability to pull a girl just with a single pretentious statement about a book that is HIGHLY debatable in truth?

>>	Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Thu Dec 19 13:35:50 2013 No.4384350 >>4384338 Do you think it might be wise not to use rape-y terms like "pulling a girl" on a moderated board?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:36:50 2013 No.4384353 >>4383687 I'm surprised everybody revolted against the dictionary fapper, because I did that too. I mean, not technically, because I didn't fap, but I read sex related words as a means to sexual arousal

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:38:51 2013 No.4384360 >>4384350 Are you being serious right now?

Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:40:50 2013 No.4384368

>>4384350
I don't like the adjective "rape-y", I think it trivializes rape by transforming the word into a cute description of misogynistic behavior instead acknowledging rape to be a brutal act of violence. Please do not post such remarks again, they are offensive.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:45:50 2013 No.4384384 >>4383675 >being unable to appreciate humour This isn't a dick-measuring contest kiddo

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:46:50 2013 No.4384386 >>4384368 #rekt

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 13:52:51 2013 No.4384408 >>4384386 #memed #:) #;-)

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:12:41 2013 No.4384467 >>4384350 >mentally stable human being >thinking pulling a girl is wape

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:18:40 2013 No.4384491 File: 157 KB, 1001x388, 1358019564656.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:26:41 2013 No.4384513 File: 176 KB, 1182x606, lit 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:28:40 2013 No.4384516 File: 144 KB, 1255x505, 6lj7dvfbtqhbr8x08oqpuo7lb.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] classic

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:36:40 2013 No.4384536 File: 79 KB, 250x238, 1384741510486.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4384350 >rape-y terms like "pulling a girl" You can't be serious.

Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:43:40 2013 No.4384557

An anrcho-syndicalist American analytic philosopher and linguistics professor was teaching a class on Bertrand Russell, known logician.”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Russell as the most influential philosopher of the 20th century, even more influential than Jacques Derrida or any other continental philosopher!”
At this moment, a brave, psycho-analytic, Hegelian Marxist philosopher and cultural critic boldly stood up and tugged at his collar.
”My god, pure ideology! How can you ignore the work of Lacan and the Frankfurt School and so on and so on, like that? ”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “Continental philosophy cloaks trivialities in fancy language and uses the scientific-sounding term 'theory' to describe propositions that could never be tested empirically. ”
”Wrong. If empiricism is so important, as you would say, then how come you were so empirically wrong on the Khmer Rouge and Cambodia, and so on and so on?”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus . He stormed out of the room crying those unironic empirically verified crocodile tears.
There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an outdated linguist and blindly analytic philosopher.
He wished so much that he had an argument to save himself from embarrassment, but he himself had advocated for truth derived from empirical investigation!
The students applauded and all dropped out to transfer into the École Normale Supérieure that day and accepted French philosophy as superior to both German Idealism and the Anglosphere's Analytic traditions.
An eagle named “Critical Theory” flew into the room and perched atop a burning American flag and shed a single tear on the dropped chalk. Sections of Lacan's Seminars were read several times, and the Spirit of Hegel himself showed up and demonstrated the nature of dialectics so vividly that everybody in the room progressed to a trans-physical state transcending conventional notions of time and space.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was forced to become a panelist on an MSNBC news show to make ends meet.
The brave psycho-analytic philosopher's name? Slavoj Zizek.

Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:45:40 2013 No.4384563

A Jewish allied homosexual professor and Treaty of Versailles supporter was teaching a class on Theodor Adorno, known Marxist.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Einstein and accept that he was the smartest man ever, even smarter than Gottlob Frege or Karl Schmitt.
At this moment, a brave, Aryan, 14/88 SS Obersturmbannfuehrer who had killed 1500 Untermenschen on the Ostfront and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by Nazi Germany stood up and showed a picture of an Aryan man.
”What can you tell me about this, Rassenschande?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “He is just a man, no different from an Untermensch, except the Jews are probably even smarter”
”Wrong. It is the proven master race, tracing his lineage back to every people that ever accomplished something and has every right to struggle for Lebensraum.”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of das Kapital in Hebrew. He stormed out of the room crying those Schmutzig-Judische crocodile tears. The same tears Judeo-Bolshevists cry for the “gassed” when they jealously try to claw justly earned land from the deserving Uebermenschen. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Schlomo Marxstein, wished his people were not causing all the troubles the Reich was facing, and wished he didn’t deservedly got what was coming to him for that.
The students applauded and all registered to the Nazi party that day and accepted Adolf Hitler as their Feuhrer. A Reichsadler named “Germanentum” flew into the room and perched atop the Nazi flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The first couplet of “Deutschland uber alles” was sung several times, and Thor himself showed up and roused the people for totalen Krieg all across the Reich.

The professor lost his tenure and was sent to Auschwitz the next day and didn’t die there because the Holocaust never happened.

Sieg Heil

Anonymous Thu Dec 19 14:51:41 2013 No.4384579

A white heteronormative cisgendered CEO professor and Baptist preacher was teaching a class on Karl Rove, known Christian.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Jesus Christ and accept that you too can become straight through daily prayer, self-flagellation, and eating Chik-Fil-A every day!”
At this moment, a brave, trans-Asian, self-diagnosed pansexual demiromantic vegan multisouled person who had been free of all animal products and only bought products at the local transgender co-op boldly stood up, holding a glass filled with some white liquid.
“Hey, Professor, what is this?”
The arrogant professor smirked like a rapist and smugly replied “It’s clearly milk, you crazy faggot. What the fuck does milk have to do with political science?”
“Wrong. It’s an all natural vegan soy almond kombucha latte. No animals or transpeople were harmed or raped in the making of this product.”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Wall Street Journal. He stormed out of the room, clearly planning some kind of rape. The professor realized that he had been playing into the hands of the kyriarchy of CEOs, investment bankers, the Religious Right, and psychiatrists. He then killed himself. The proper term for this is “trans-dead”.
The students checked their privilege, all diagnosed themselves with autism and gender identity disorder and joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. An obese trans-eagle furry otherkin waddled into the room and tried to perch upon the American Flag, bending the flagpole in the process. All parties involved gave up meat, Christianity, and the right to bear arms.
The students all lifted their glasses of soy fluid in a toast.
“That beverage’s name? Harvey “The One Percent” Milk.” said the vegan trans-autistic Korean.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:18:14 2013 No.4384865 >>4382083 If you can contact him, probably.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:26:14 2013 No.4384882 File: 53 KB, 1248x211, lit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Thought you guys might enjoy this

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:27:15 2013 No.4384889 >>4384882 That's pure genius

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:28:15 2013 No.4384895 >>4384882 i dont get it

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:29:49 2013 No.4384900 >>4384895 Underage b& detected

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:31:48 2013 No.4384905 >>4384882 Took me a while..reminds me of Nietzsche

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:33:49 2013 No.4384911 File: 25 KB, 406x536, 1383569534233.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4384882

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:41:48 2013 No.4384931 >>4384882 nice

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:45:48 2013 No.4384946 >>4384882 i don't get it, what is this about?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:49:48 2013 No.4384960 >>4384946 Everything, my friend. Seek and ye shall find

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:53:48 2013 No.4384972 >>4384882 This is like a koan or some shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:53:48 2013 No.4384975 >>4384882 Is this like an accurate description of life or something?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:54:48 2013 No.4384977 >>4384882 Oh my god, that is perfect.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:54:48 2013 No.4384979 >>4384882 Omg that's so dumb wt- holy shit i get it. Sides obliterated. thanks, /lit/

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:55:48 2013 No.4384981 >>4384895 >>4384946 >>>/s4s/1413606

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 16:58:48 2013 No.4384991 >>4384981 >>4384882 I see... its even better on /lit/ because people think its realated to a philosophy or something.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 17:00:48 2013 No.4384995 >>4384991 >>4384981 Still pretty funny though...right guys?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 17:01:48 2013 No.4384997 >>4384882 I'm capping this

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 17:02:49 2013 No.4384999 >>4384981 4/10 I pondered

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 17:49:06 2013 No.4385166 >>4384882 epic, simply epic best post on /lit/ in a long time

Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:08:06 2013 No.4385227
File: 7 KB, 199x253, schopenhauer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

daily reminder that /lit/ is full of sperglords that hide their autism and insecurities behind a veil of feigned intellectual superiority, which they think they have somehow aquired through reading highschool level YA or genre fiction.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:11:06 2013 No.4385237 >>4385227 Quite.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:15:06 2013 No.4385247 >>4385227 daily reminder that /lit/ is full of the pretentious and depressed who bandwagon big names in literature so as to avoid thinking for themselves.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:16:06 2013 No.4385249 http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S4360601#p4365979

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:27:06 2013 No.4385289 >>4385227 I've seen this sort of post about a million times. You're not clever.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:30:06 2013 No.4385312 >>4385227 Most indeedly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:31:06 2013 No.4385318 File: 189 KB, 731x502, autism.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:32:06 2013 No.4385321 >>4385289 It doesn't need to be clever if it's a truth

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:34:06 2013 No.4385326 >>4385321 But, is it?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:35:06 2013 No.4385334 >>4385326 i don't know

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 18:59:06 2013 No.4385438 >>4382097 Whoever wrote that could have been DFW's ghostwriter holy shit

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 19:08:06 2013 No.4385459 File: 166 KB, 305x479, 1385425208065.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4381915 Why is Habermas mislabeled?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 19:11:07 2013 No.4385465 File: 347 KB, 1125x344, 1387498278516.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 19:17:06 2013 No.4385484 >>4385459 i love how sarte always looks so goofy. i just cant help but love the guy, even though hes a dirty fenchie with dirty frenchie philosophy.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 19:35:42 2013 No.4385535 >>4385484 >love >Frenchie You are already lost. You can no longer be saved by the Light of Analyticism. I am so sorry, my son.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 20:17:42 2013 No.4385672 >>4383040 this was special

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 20:19:42 2013 No.4385679 >>4385535 >analyticalism >light "Kierkegaard is far too deep for me, anyhow. He bewilders me without working the good effects which he would in deeper souls." -Wittgenstein

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 20:52:42 2013 No.4385784 >>4384255 I prefer the guy with the tile fetish.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 21:02:42 2013 No.4385819 File: 34 KB, 680x406, jason wallace.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] oh hi guise i movie star now

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 19 21:28:42 2013 No.4385873 >>4381915 I spent like a minute staring at Adam Smith and wondering "wow, did he really only have one hand? I dont remember that coming up in anything I read about him..." and then I got it. I feel so dumb

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 00:27:12 2013 No.4386286 File: 45 KB, 1341x377, monsieur.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4384882 I know this is a troll, but it's like, it's sad on this deeper level in a way.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 01:09:48 2013 No.4386381 >>4385438 >implying it wasn't the Bandana Man himself

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 01:31:05 2013 No.4386434 File: 86 KB, 1343x442, 1385842049782.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 02:44:52 2013 No.4386512 File: 737 KB, 1337x4712, seven-steps.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 03:36:52 2013 No.4386579 >>4384882 >>4384882 Someone for the love of god explain this

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 03:55:31 2013 No.4386591 >>4386579 one of those things where people pretend it's amazing but it's not. I understand it yes but it's not that life changing.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 04:10:31 2013 No.4386610 >>4386579 Are you kidding, or just stupid? >>4384981

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 04:17:31 2013 No.4386617 >>4385873 AWESOME

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 04:21:31 2013 No.4386621 >>4382585 >completely misusing literally stay pleb poster of that green text.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 04:48:31 2013 No.4386636 >>4384516 >fucking positivist Great stuff.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 06:31:23 2013 No.4386734 File: 2.96 MB, 960x540, 1364861972125.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4385819

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 06:43:23 2013 No.4386739 >>4381917 Source?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 09:20:31 2013 No.4386949 >>4386739 It's been floating around for ages...

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 11:20:10 2013 No.4387142 There's barely any humor here. Everyone's depressed.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 13:00:01 2013 No.4387406 >>4387142 >There's barely any humor here. >Everyone's depressed. welcome to /lit/, enjoy your stay

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 13:28:03 2013 No.4387487 >>4386434 perhaps he just inquired if this was ops translation? kafka for sure didnt write this.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 13:28:03 2013 No.4387488 File: 50 KB, 437x336, ij_desert.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 13:32:03 2013 No.4387499 >>4382585 I had a very similar experience. But instead of a beautiful woman it was a toddler girl. Not joking.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 13:50:19 2013 No.4387539 File: 1.82 MB, 300x264, 1387565415900.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4387499 >>4382585

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 13:55:19 2013 No.4387548 >>4386617 I don't get it

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:19:19 2013 No.4387592 >>4383126 that thread was brilliant

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:23:19 2013 No.4387600 >>4385227 tips thesaurus

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:30:19 2013 No.4387611 >>4387499 I'll go ahead and assume the you were having pangs of desire for parenthood, and not to diddle. Feel free never to correct me on that if I'm wrong.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:35:20 2013 No.4387621

>>4387611
Not that guy, but I had the same experiance.
You're wrong.
It can't be explained. When your hand touches hers, and hers are so smooth and gentle, while she looks at you with her innocent eyes so clear and big and full of life. It's hard to explain.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:38:19 2013 No.4387627 >>4387621 >It's hard to explain. It's quite easy to explain. You're a pedophile.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:38:19 2013 No.4387630 >>4387548 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_hand

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:39:19 2013 No.4387634

>>4387611
I'm that guy.

I have a romantic but not sexual attraction/obsession with children, especially toddlers. I look at pictures of them all day but rarely touch them. The touch of her glowing soft skin on mine was simply magical. That was the best day of my year.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:41:19 2013 No.4387636 >>4387634 >I have a romantic but not sexual attraction/obsession with children Yeah, keep telling yourself it's not sexual. I'm sure you can convince yourself it's true if you repeat it enough.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:41:19 2013 No.4387637 >>4387627 No, I'm not, you whore.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:46:10 2013 No.4387647 >>4387636 I don't care what you think, I know I'm not a pedophile.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:47:10 2013 No.4387650 >>4387647 Whatever, shorteyes.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 14:59:11 2013 No.4387671 >>4381900 For some reason I find the girl on that pic incredibly cute. Like, can't-stop-staring-at cute.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:00:11 2013 No.4387674 >>4387647 You are a pedophile. You're getting confused between child molester and pedophile. You're not a child molester yet but you're certainly a pedophile.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:04:10 2013 No.4387686 File: 20 KB, 550x338, y5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4387671

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:13:59 2013 No.4387717 >>4387674 No, I'm not. I'm not confusing anything and I'm certainly not a pedophile. I don't feel sexual attraction to children.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:16:57 2013 No.4387726

>>4387717
Here's a quote I found on the internet that definitely seems to disagree with that statement:
"I have a romantic but not sexual attraction/obsession with children, especially toddlers. I look at pictures of them all day but rarely touch them. The touch of her glowing soft skin on mine was simply magical. That was the best day of my year." - You

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:18:57 2013 No.4387733 >>4382136 You know, I've never read a Murakami book but I think this image made me want to buy 1Q84

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:19:57 2013 No.4387738 File: 44 KB, 392x500, 1371210552292.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4384557 >>4384563 >>4384579

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:28:13 2013 No.4387784 >>4387726 >not sexual Where's the disagreement? People can't love children anymore without being called pedophiles?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:29:13 2013 No.4387787 >>4387784 If you yourself characterize your love of children as a "romantic obsession" then you're a pedo. Stop deluding yourself.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:30:13 2013 No.4387793 >>4387784 I love children. They are so cute and innocent and nice. I like them a lot, but they are always far away from me. I really want to hug them. No disgusting things, just hugging and playing. I think the problem is the word romantic.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:38:13 2013 No.4387814

>>4387793
>thinking children are cute and innocent and nice
Yep, they are always far away from you all right.

>I really want to hug them. No disgusting things, just hugging and playing.
Jesus Christ, how old are you, dude? I wrote a pedophile character a few months ago and I made him say almost exactly the same thing. I'm glad I got the gist of the disorder right.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:38:13 2013 No.4387816 >>4381917 lmao

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:44:31 2013 No.4387832 >>4387793 >>4387787 Pedophilia means sexual attraction, not romantic. I'm like one of those asexuals who still have romantic interests.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:46:30 2013 No.4387840

>>4387814
I don't think I'm a pedophile. I don't look at them sexually. I saw some naked kids on /b/ a few times, but I felt really sad and sick; it was disgusting.
>away from you all night
Usually yes, but in some afternoons, I have naps near them. I sleep the best when hugging children.
>I wrote a pedophile character
I'm not going to be an idiot say that you were projecting, but I want to tell you that I could have. Post its pastebin, I am interested.
>how old?
I don't see how this relates, but I'm not very old.

>>4387832
I wouldn't describe my attraction as romantic; I think your isn't the same as mine. I am also sexual and not asexual; I like sex and such things.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:48:30 2013 No.4387847 >>4387840 >I'm not going to be an idiot say that you were projecting, but I want to tell you that I could have. ^classic fear of confrontation and passive aggressiveness that characterizes the preferential pedophile

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 15:53:30 2013 No.4387859

>>4387847
Nice.
But I truly hate using projection in arguments.
Maybe I am passive-aggressive and afraid of confrontations, but that doesn't mean I'm a pedophile, I just explained it in my other post.
I don't understand what you're trying to achieve. Almost all women like children the same way I do, what's so wrong about it? I explained my position in the other post and I don't think this is going anywhere.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:09:30 2013 No.4387898 >>4387840 I only describe my attraction as romantic because there's no other word for it. But it's got nothing to do with sex or couples, I love them more like my own children than anything else.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:15:35 2013 No.4387930 >>4387898 Maybe 'platonic' though I dislike its usage; it is more fitting, however.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:28:33 2013 No.4387984 >>4387840 >Post its pastebin, I am interested. AND HAVE YOU STEAL MY MAGNUM OPUS? HA. AND AGAIN I SAY, HA.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:32:33 2013 No.4387989 >>4387930 Yes, it's definitely platonic.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:35:34 2013 No.4387997 >>4387840 >I saw some naked kids on /b/ a few times, but I felt really sad and sick; it was disgusting. I've seen some naked women on /b/ that I found disgusting. In fact, I find most porn disgusting. What does that prove? >inb4 gay

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:48:33 2013 No.4388055 >>4387984 I understand. It's not that you think it's not good enough or anything, of course, considering you finished it. Here is mine: http://pastebin.com/FE8nv5aj

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:51:34 2013 No.4388067

>>4387997
Yeah, I know what you mean. I also share this with you. You're not gay, you're normal.
To be honest with you, some of the pictures of young ones who were naked were absolutely disgusting even for some paedophiles, but there were also some which were merely little girls posing in bikinis/nude and stuff like that; things which people like us would find disgusting, but not the average browser of /b/,

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:51:34 2013 No.4388070 >>4388055 >Thinking that a serious writer would ever post their work on 4chan. shiggydiggydo

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:53:33 2013 No.4388074 >>4388070 Well, I just did.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 16:59:33 2013 No.4388098 >>4388074 You're not a serious writer. Congratulations, welcome to the c/lit/ club.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:02:34 2013 No.4388111 >>4388098 It's true. I'm indeed very easy going and fun; I dare say I'm not serious at all. I posted my best work, and I think it's decent enough.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:04:33 2013 No.4388115 This was a sort of funny thread until the pedophile came out. Then it got really funny.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:08:33 2013 No.4388125 >>4388115 I'm not a pedophile, you whore. I explained this already.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:08:33 2013 No.4388128 >>4388115 Guys I'm not a pedophile I'm just obsessed with children and get the vapors whenever I'm near one and can't stop thinking about how smooth and nubile and innocent they are Geez!

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:10:33 2013 No.4388130 >>4387840 I can semi-relate to this

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:10:33 2013 No.4388132 >>4388125 Interesting that your go-to insult is "whore," a pejorative that implies sexual impurity, since the pedophile's primary attraction to children hinges on their perceived "purity" and innocence.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:13:33 2013 No.4388139

>>4388128
Yeah, that's not me. I never said I'm obsessed with them and can't stop thinking about them. I said I like them; they are nice.
>>4388132
Yes, it's very interesting. But my main attraction to children isn't their innocence and purity, it's their cuteness and hug-worthy little faces and their eyes. Surely their innocence plays a part, but they also remind me of the old days when I was a child like them.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:15:33 2013 No.4388144 >>4388139 You're Humbert Humbert without the vocabulary, basically.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:19:34 2013 No.4388154 >>4388144 Humbert performed fornication with an infant; I'd never try such an abysmal act. I already explained my case.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:20:33 2013 No.4388162 >>4388158 basically

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:20:34 2013 No.4388157 >>4388144 /Lit/ insult of 2013.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:20:34 2013 No.4388158 >>4388144 >You're Humbert Humbert without the vocabulary, basically. so basically, a pedophile

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:21:33 2013 No.4388163 >>4388115 >>4388128 I'm not a fucking pedophile alright. I love children, but not sexually.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:22:33 2013 No.4388168 >>4388163 Yes, like most people, especially women and of those: mothers.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:24:53 2013 No.4388175

>>4388163
When I was little I liked girls, but not in a sexual way. It took few years to make that step up to wanting women sexually.

Fascination usually goes deeper with time. If you aren't a pedophile, I'm afraid you have all the preconditions to be one in the near future.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:29:08 2013 No.4388191 >>4388175 I've liked little girls since I was 14.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:30:08 2013 No.4388197 >>4388191 And it appears that you still like little girls, don't you?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:32:08 2013 No.4388203 >>4388197 Right. My point is, if my attraction hasn't become sexual in 8 years, it doesn't make sense that it will become sexual in the near future.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:33:08 2013 No.4388207 >>4388175 So all parents are pedophiles, and most people on earth are pedophiles because they like little children and they think they absolutely adorable? Nice.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:36:09 2013 No.4388211 >>4388158 Well, a pedophile with deep-seated insecurities and a desperate need to justify his aberrant sexual desires to strangers.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:36:09 2013 No.4388212 >>4388207 >being this stupid

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:41:08 2013 No.4388226

>>4388207
Yes. That fascination with children is what allows pedophillia to exist. 200 years ago when children were seen as young adults pedophillia as we know it didn't exist, people instead raped small adults. Pedophillia is a result ofthe Victorian creation of "the child"

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:42:08 2013 No.4388227

>>4388211
What do I achieve if I say that I'm a pedophile?
I don't have sex with them, and I don't look at them that way. This is the core of pedophilia and it's nonexistent in my case; I don't fit the definition of pedophilia.
Again, we're going in circles, my friend.
>>4388212
domage

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:43:08 2013 No.4388229
File: 28 KB, 625x417, K.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4388207
>>4388207
There's all the world of difference between finding children adorable and saying that you find them "so cute and innocent and nice," that you have a "romantic obsession" with them, that you want to "hug them and play with them," that "the touch of their glowing soft skin" on yours "is simply magical" and lamenting that they are "always far away."

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:44:08 2013 No.4388231 >>4388229 Half of these I didn't say. Especially 'romantic'. These are 2 different posters.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:46:08 2013 No.4388237 >>4388231 >2 different posters >2 different pedophiles

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:48:08 2013 No.4388241

>>4388229
Okay, to make it clear.
>cute nice innocent
they are
>romantic obsession
not me
>hug them
yes, I used to hug my little brother all the time. Now he's older. Those were the days... Nothing wrong with huging
>play with them
Yes. As in: having fun with them and playing with their toys with them, not using them as toys and playing 'with them' as in: playing with the ball.
>touch glowing skin
not me
>magical
not me
>always far away
I was doing a mitch hedberg: 'koalas are so nice and cute, why are they so far away from me. Come, I want to give A Hug'.
>>4388237
hahaha

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:52:08 2013 No.4388251 >>4388241 that's it, keep digging bro

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 17:57:10 2013 No.4388271 >>4388251 I think it's over. I hope I did well.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:02:08 2013 No.4388292 >>4388271 >I hope I did well. As well as any pedophile can.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:09:09 2013 No.4388311 >>4388292 I hope you're not a heartless whore who doesn't show any sympathy, because calling someone who cares for children 'a pedophile' is really pathetic. I hope you never have children unless you really want to.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:12:08 2013 No.4388327 STOP FUCKING BULLYING THE PEDOPHILE JESUS CHRIST /LIT/ I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:13:08 2013 No.4388328 >>4384882 explain please

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:13:08 2013 No.4388331 >>4388154 Lolita was a tween you nut.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:14:08 2013 No.4388333 >>4388327 >BULLYING I'm having fun, amigo. I love this.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:16:08 2013 No.4388336 >>4388331 Well, yeah, but unless she bleeds down there, she's no woman. She was 13 years old, I think.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:17:08 2013 No.4388342

>>4388311
>I hope you're not a heartless whore who doesn't show any sympathy, because calling someone who cares for children 'a pedophile' is really pathetic. I hope you never have children unless you really want to.

God, your posts are creepy as fuck. I hope I never have children so I don't have to worry about pedos like you trying to "play" with them.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:17:08 2013 No.4388344 >>4388328 /s4s/ trying to make this a big thing, but it didn't work very well. It was good try, honestly.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:18:08 2013 No.4388347 >>4388336 The poster in question said "infant."

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:21:08 2013 No.4388355

>>4388342
Playing is very important for children. I, myself, am concerned for your children, as they'll have a terrible parent who doesn't value one of the vital factors of infants' growth.
>>4388347
The news called a 13 year old 'an infant' last month. I got confused then; it's my fault, sorry.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:26:08 2013 No.4388370 >>4388327 >>4388229 I'm not a fucking pedophile. I have an obsession for children that is not sexual. I'm not even close to a pedophile. Pedos seldom care about children, I care about them more than anything.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:31:08 2013 No.4388386 File: 29 KB, 328x248, 4564564.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4388355 >thinking loving one's own children is the same as having an obsession with all children

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:33:08 2013 No.4388395 >>4388386 I never said I am obsessed wit children. That was the other poster. To spot him: he uses 'fucking' a lot, which I never use.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:34:08 2013 No.4388400 >>4388370 Philia doesn't necessarily mean sexual dum dum. My point is that it shouldn't matter even if you are.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:35:08 2013 No.4388401 >>4388386 >>4388395 >thinking loving one's own children is the same as loving someone else's children.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:37:08 2013 No.4388403 >>4388400 ''Pedophile'' means sexually attracted to children. At least, for the purposes of this conversation, let's keep it in that definition. And it should fucking matter because pedophiles are fucking worthless scum.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:37:09 2013 No.4388405 >>4388401 Of course it's not the same, my friend. Your own child has a very dear in your heart regardless of what you wish. >>4388400 Not that guy, but I thought sexual interest is part of its definition, no?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:39:08 2013 No.4388411 >>4388405 >Of course it's not the same, my friend Back pedal faster, pedo.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:42:08 2013 No.4388417

>>4388405
It usually does. But in the most simplest terms it just means ' love of children (forms)'; sex is just tacked on there because people easily switch it for love.

I believe one can appreciate the human form at all ages and NOT be a dirty mustachio molester.

Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:46:08 2013 No.4388431

>>4388417
I still don't think it's suitable. I love children, but I mean it in the broadest sense. I don't get mad at them, and I treat them well, because they are still young and I appreciate their simple nature and cute faces, but I don't mean it in the sense you might be pointing at. It's more positive than negative really, and that includes all consequences.
>>4388411
It's okay.

I had a lot of fun /lit/, thanks. Good night.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:48:08 2013 No.4388440 >>4388431 And then all of /lit/ watched as the noble pedo rode his infant pony into the sunset.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:50:43 2013 No.4388444 >>4388440 Shut the fuck up, Donny.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:52:43 2013 No.4388454 File: 67 KB, 499x314, 1378171241821.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4387840 Tell me more about your habitual viewing of illegal content.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 18:54:45 2013 No.4388459 File: 29 KB, 988x131, donne.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] From a thread on the effects of pornography on the writer's psyche.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 19:04:43 2013 No.4388493 >>4387793 I think he means he likes children the way ppl like puppies...?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 19:06:43 2013 No.4388497 >>4388493 No, pretty sure everything about this post seems the opposite. Such repression, such cluelessness.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 19:11:43 2013 No.4388517 >>4388493 He said romantic. I don't think your average person is romantically interested in a puppy.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 19:17:45 2013 No.4388536 >>4388517 see >>4387989 >it's definitely platonic Looks like it was just a poor word choice that he later corrected.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 21:04:49 2013 No.4388933 File: 437 KB, 1944x1465, lit writes a story.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Fresh out of the fryer.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 21:59:40 2013 No.4389137 >>4388336 she was 12, 13, 14 and 16, if memory serves

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 22:30:40 2013 No.4389216 >>4382136 Which Murakami book gets the fastest Bingo? Kafka on the Shore does it in 8 chapters, offhand.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 20 22:39:40 2013 No.4389231 >>4388933 topical

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 09:05:35 2013 No.4390204 >>4388493 Yes. >>4388497 Doubt it. >>4388517 I didn't say romantic you idiot. I explained this one hundred times. There are two posters here, not one. Fucking read.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 11:02:26 2013 No.4390408 >>4388055 Really sad none read my pastebin. I thought it was good.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 11:36:26 2013 No.4390463 >>4390408 ill read it

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 11:50:30 2013 No.4390493 >>4381959 that was the weirdest thread on /lit/ ever. someone found out that the writer of that book was also convicted for owning child pornography, which were actually naked pictures of his 17-year-old ex-girlfriend or something. weird thread

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 11:57:30 2013 No.4390501 >>4390463 Okay.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 11:59:30 2013 No.4390508 >>4381917 This is is brilliant

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:05:30 2013 No.4390519 >>4390501 It was quite good. I didn't expect to get sucked in like that (reminded me little of lolita but that's to be expected from a story like that)

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:07:30 2013 No.4390524 >>4382038 >don't encourage the meta.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:08:30 2013 No.4390525 >>4390519 Replace Natalie with Lolita and you'll get the story which inspired Nabokov to write Lolita. It's written by Heinz von Lichberg.

Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:09:30 2013 No.4390530

>>4390493

> which were actually naked pictures of his 17-year-old ex-girlfriend
>child pornography

Okay, seriously, shouldn't there be another classification for this? Like literally saying "Pornography below age of consent"? Because it's ridiculous that a 19 year old with pictures of his two year younger girlfriend be convicted as a "child pornographer", you don't live that shit down.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:25:30 2013 No.4390571 >>4382102 #struggle

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:26:30 2013 No.4390575 >>4390530 The police pretty much get to choose what you get booked on. Then you go to court and figure it out.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:29:30 2013 No.4390580 >>>/s4s/1413606 Yeah, kinda.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 21 12:30:30 2013 No.4390581 >>4390493 I remember it. Someone also linked to it here >>4382062 http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S3642888

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 22 07:31:09 2013 No.4393366 bumpity bump

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/lit/ - Literature