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/lit/ - Literature

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436331 No.436331 [Reply] [Original]

>Bring copy of Lolita on train
>It's the edition with the lips on the cover
>Hot girl notices, starts laughing
>She walks over and asks me if I like Twilight
>Look at cover, then at her
>She says Twilight is really good
>My face

>> No.436334

I don't think you met a girl. Enjoy your train ride. Alone.

>> No.436336

It's tough being Dylan bro.

>> No.436338

Bob Dylan is a pedo now?

>> No.436340
File: 34 KB, 480x528, neil1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436340

You now realize that Neil Gaiman is a younger clone of Bob Dylan.

>> No.436345

>you are reading Atlas Shrugged in your room
>your mother comes in and tells you to finish cleaning your room
>your mother does not appreciate fine literature

>> No.436354

>Reading 'The Octopus: A Story of California'
>It has a pink border
>An old man calls me a fag

>> No.436362

>jerk off to lesbian pronz
>Notice a copy of 1984 in the foreground
>shout /lit/style spoilers at the screen
>Cum like a motherfucker

>> No.436368

>sitting at the pub tooling over a carbon of my manuscript
>some bloke looks at it and laughs

>> No.436372
File: 10 KB, 555x620, safe;_;.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436372

>>436331
There aren't any trains in my country.
;_;

>> No.436374
File: 18 KB, 320x240, 1233440489891.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436374

>see guy on train reading Lolita
>think he's cute in a geeky way
>try to talk to him about literature, but end up blurting out something about twilight
>thinks I'm a twitard
>his face

>> No.436384
File: 24 KB, 460x280, BernardBlack.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436384

>>436340
You now realise Neil Gaiman is the twin brother of Bernard Black.

>> No.436388

>>436368
>> see someone sitting at the pub
>> tooling over a carbon of my manuscript

shrug and go back to entering text on your MP3 player with a BAT keyboard you hacked together out of an old atari joystick and a USB cable

>> No.436390

> Reading Exile and the Kingdom in lecture
> Guy next to me comments, pronounces Camus wrong
> rage silently
> realize I am a snob
> why

>> No.436396

>>436390

cay-moose

>> No.436399

break her

>> No.436403

>Reading Harry Potter
>Call myself fag
>Say I don't care, shut up you loser
>Continue reading Harry Potter
>People outside my padded cell tick the box that says 'still insane'

>> No.436406

>>436396

Cah-moo or Cah-myoo are the correct spellings ( ._.)

>> No.436409

>>436406

FUUUUU

>> No.436411
File: 8 KB, 253x222, 1268367669355.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436411

>Talk with sister for the first time in a while
>Ask her what she reads
>"Anarchist literature."
>"Oh?"
>Hear 'Baby I'm an Anarchist' or whatever that song is
>My face

>> No.436418
File: 10 KB, 241x271, sad_face.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436418

>Bring copy of A clockwork orange on the subway
>notice that a hot girl is reading it too
>smile to her
>she didn't notice and left the subway
>my face

>> No.436422

>>436409

Not spellings I mean pronunciations (._. )

If you are in Britain, the BBC's In Our Time Radio 4 show have a really informative radio episode on his life and work that you can listen to on iPlayer.

>> No.436428

>Reading the 2009 O'Henry winners.
>Expecting every short story to be good.
>Only half of them are good.

>> No.436429

>>436418
should have gone up to her and put on the Alex DeLarge charm

>> No.436433

>>A person strikes an amiable conversation with me.
>>I judge the person negatively and laugh.
>>Fuck yeah
>>Go on internet
>>So lonely
>>Fap while crying

>> No.436438

>>436372
that's really sad ;_;

Trains are great

>> No.436439

>>436384

Fucking hell! Great series, btw.

The best bit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKVQqx13Cv8

>> No.436441

>>436418
Fuck, dude. I really like A Clockwork Orange too, but I'm not going to kiss you either.

>> No.436444

>>436441
i only want a smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

sniff...

>> No.436446

>>436406

No. Camy is the correct pronunciation.

>> No.436454

>>436446
kay-mos

>> No.436459

>Read Lao-Tsu on bench waiting for bus
>Gangsta wannabe from school calls you a hippie fag
>Get in fight and win
>Feels ironic man

>> No.436465

>Pirate Atlas Shrugged off of the internet while stealing my neihgbors wi-fi
>Ghost of Ayn Rand comes to exact revenge
>Rape her in the ass
>She askes for more
>Trollface.jpg

>> No.436471

>have sizable book collection
>sister calls me an elitist
>she reads twilight and jaqueline wilson

lulz

>> No.436475
File: 40 KB, 432x654, anne-hathaway..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436475

>>436331

> reading witty /lit/ posts
> don't know how to quote properly
> don't know how to be witty either
> fuck you

>> No.436477

>>436475

oh shit > makes you quote ?
score

>> No.436480

>>436477
Newfags can't green

>> No.436483
File: 14 KB, 200x295, ten little niggers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436483

>read this on a train ride
>get stares from everyone on the train
>old black man walks up to me and tears the book from my hand and throws it at the wall
>pick up book and leave

>> No.436487

>>436446
>>436454

If this becomes a meme I am going to stab you in the eyes.

>> No.436492

>>436483
I hope you whipped before leaving.

>> No.436493

>>436362
>jerk off to lesbian pronz
>Notice a copy of 1984 in the foreground
>shout /lit/style spoilers at the screen
>Cum like a motherfucker

Dude, did you come while yelling "I love Big Brother?"

>> No.436494

>>436471
>>436433
>>436411
>>436354
>>436362
lol'd

>> No.436495

>consistently irritated by depreciation of thread quality on /lit/
>have book sitting next to monitor
>hit refresh anyways
>feelsbadman.jpg

>> No.436500

>>436483
What's that book about?

>> No.436505

>>436500
A lot of stolen bikes.

>> No.436513

>>436495
>whines on /lit about threads
>doesnt start a good one
>keeps whining

>> No.436521

>>436513
>it takes two to tango
>breakdance on ballroom floor
>adopt tripcode name and foster ire of website user base

>> No.436529

>reading Palahniuk on the train
>guy sits next to me
>starts reading over my shoulder
>notice he has a Legend of Zelda tattoo
>stand up and move to another carriage

>> No.436531

>>436529
I laughed.

>> No.436532

>see thread with green text
>don't give a shit

>> No.436536

>Hate almost every thread on /lit/
>Hate Camus lovers and all that sperm eating hippies
>Hate stupid idiots overanalyzing Joyce
>Hate pigs -with no moral sense- trying to read Dostojevskij
>Hate pseudo-intellectuals talking shit about fantasy, sci-fi, horror
>Still here
>Feels bad man

>> No.436547
File: 86 KB, 250x188, Respek.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436547

>>436536
>Hate pseudo-intellectuals talking shit about fantasy, sci-fi, horror

Oh boy, I'm with you there.

>> No.436553

>>436536
I know it doesn't make me sound like a good person, but it makes me a little happy that you feel bad.

>> No.436556

>>436547

What wrong with pseudo-intellectuals?

>> No.436559

>>436536
>implying anyone on /lit/ is anything other than a pseudo-intellectual

>> No.436561

>>436536

>Look down on "elitist proper literature readers"
>Read R.R. Martin
>Maintain LARPfag moral superiority

>> No.436562
File: 32 KB, 330x357, feels-bad-man.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436562

>>436536

Agreed.

>> No.436566

>>436536
> Hate pseudo-intellectuals talking shit about fantasy, sci-fi, horror
It was quite disheartening reading the immensely successful thread on "list your age:sex:favouritenovel:mosthatednovel/genre" and seeing the amount of people who put either fantasy, SF or both in the last category.

>> No.436571

>>436561
Indeed. I like my shitty literature, at least i don't need liter of coffe to read first 20 pages.

>> No.436572

>>436536
> I hate hospitals
> I hate trainyards
> I hate helicopters
> I hate the woods
> I hate the police
> I hate Ayn Rand
> You know what I don't hate?

>> No.436581

>>436536
What the fuck's wrong with liking Camus? What the fuck's wrong with people reading Dostoevsky who maybe aren't as enlightened as you consider yourself to be?

I feel bad that you're here too. Prick.

>> No.436587
File: 24 KB, 393x420, william_faulkner typing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436587

>>436572

>Me?

>> No.436589
File: 68 KB, 486x1070, 1265706730076.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436589

>> No.436590

>>436374

His face, you say? Yes, please.

>> No.436593

>>436589

"Sophistication" is a weird way to spell "Bigoted intolerance"

>> No.436594
File: 97 KB, 1327x995, 1253057996683.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436594

>>436536
> overanalyzing Joyce
Oh man, that's just too rich. I LOLed again.

>> No.436598
File: 15 KB, 266x197, BackToSchool255.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436598

>Reading Joyce
>Girl walksomehwerherww
>Bota falls and waits lies

>Make no sense anymore

>> No.436602

>>436328
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>> No.436604

>>436587
> guess again

>> No.436606

>>436581
Nothing wrong with that. I read them too, and i don't undestand them as i would like to. That's why i don't come here to measure my dick, with what pointless theory i have imagined.

>> No.436613

>having hair cut
>have to spend 25 minutes sitting there listening to a 40-50 year old man talking to his hairdresser about twilight
>hear him explain plot of each book to hairdresser and proclaim stephanie meyer to be an excellent author
true story

>> No.436622

>>436403
lold

>> No.436623
File: 67 KB, 400x406, beato laughcry.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436623

>>436613

>> No.436629

>>436613

Maybe he was trying to tune the hairdresser.

>> No.436631

>>436604
Vests!

>> No.436632

>>436362
i lol'd

>> No.436639

>>436411
....anarchy in the UK? what's wrong with the pistols? all that means is your sister has semi-decent taste in 1st wave punk rock

>> No.436642
File: 918 KB, 1920x1200, l4d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436642

>>436631

>> No.436646

>>436487
Wut? >>436446 Camy is the correct pronunciation.

>> No.436653

>>436646
I thought the correct pronunciation is Cummus.

>> No.436676

>>436639
nigger, please...

>> No.436692

>>436646
>>436653

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udk0vRXGLlA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCtY3CAlME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF7X_fHExP0
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b008kmqp

>> No.436696

>>436589
Oh fuck yes I've been waiting for these to start appearing.

>> No.436707

>>436692
Ok, so it was something closer to Camyu.

From wiki:
French pronunciation: [albɛʁ kamy]

y similar to cute

>> No.436716

>>436692

Shitty British French is shitty. It's Camy, not fucking Kamweeui.

>> No.436747

>Read Hamlet in your room
>Father come in
>Tells you that you will be virgin forever reading books like that
>Cry

>> No.436760

>>436716

Two of those links are in French. It's clearly kam-oo or kam-yoo

It would be Camy perhaps if we were using French phonetics, but this is an English language image board, and as such it is more appropriate to use a phonetic code familiar to native English speakers.

>> No.436766

>>436747

>Read Hamlet in your room
>Father comes in
>Kill him

>> No.436772

>>436707
That y is not really very much like the u in cute. Here, you can practice: http://french.about.com/od/pronunciation/a/u_2.htm

>>436760
Jesus god no, it's not Cam-yoo, you limey. You can keep pronouncing "Jaguar" as jag-yoo-ar if you want, but there are limits.

>> No.436775

>>436716
Luc.

>> No.436778

>>436766
>Read the Theban plays
>mother comes into room
>sex her

>> No.436795
File: 96 KB, 277x386, 1260734397554.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436795

>reading my forensic pathology book on the subway
>cute geeky chick sits next to me
> she not so subtly gawks at the gory pictures (thanks Dahmer)
> gets up and leaves

Pic related, my face.

>> No.436798

>browse /lit/ as GamerGirl
>Do I need more explaining ?

>> No.436806

>>436798
yes, please

>> No.436819
File: 196 KB, 413x291, face-punch.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436819

>talk shit
>get hit
>My face

>> No.436853

> jew gold stolen by bolsheviks
> move to USA, write pages over pages of butthurt rants
> become hipster goddess

>> No.436905

>>436331
She was hitting on you and you shot her down because she likes books you don't? Are you that stupid?

>> No.436913

>>436905

Not everyone is a desperate roneryfag.

>> No.436939

>>436913
ouch

>> No.436943
File: 7 KB, 158x251, 1268383691508.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
436943

> discussing literature with some stuck up hipster fag
> he thinks War and Peace and Crime and Punishment were both written by Dostoevsky
> my face

>> No.436947

>>436422
radio iplayer is available outside britain i think

>> No.437084

>>436587
the fuck out you z-rated hack

>> No.437089

>>436707
Camus rhymes with FU

>> No.437178

> Bring copy of Rage
> by Richard Bachman to class
> I will die alone

>> No.437203

>I hate Twilight
>Yeah I hate Twilight too *drops Twilight book out of her purse*
>Whathe--
>I have to read it first so I can brag about it

YEAH, OKAY.

>> No.437204

>reading education textbook
>get to 'Philosophy of Education' section
>book illustrates philosophies with a conversation among teachers
>Existentialism represented by a made up teacher named Cara Camus
>I see what you did there, textbook

>> No.437218

> Reading It in the subway
> faggot asks if it has pictures of the Bozo clown
> trollface

>> No.437275

>Reading The Naked Ape whilst riding the subway
>Reading chapter on sex
>Memories pop up, this guy is totally right.
>Make horny/perv face
>Girl stares at me
>Girl looks at what I'm reading
>Makes horny/perv face
Fuckyeah.jpg

>> No.437280

>>436943
You should have slapped that motherfucker.

>> No.437300

>>436328
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>> No.437314

>>437204

>Existentialism
>Camus

facedesk.bmp

>> No.437330

>>436330
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>> No.437334

>reading "decline and fall of the roman empire"
>girl asks me for a smoke
>smash her skull in with the big ass book, strip naked and run down the street, claiming to be the "emperor"

>> No.437512
File: 890 KB, 5000x4068, coolface.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
437512

>bring the Da Vinci Code to literature class

>> No.437539

>>436795
Forensic Pathology, awesome. I want to do something like that when I finish university.

>> No.437578
File: 30 KB, 184x184, 125351477091.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
437578

>>436943

I've encountered this too.