/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.4351840]

>submit literary work for magazine
>have faith in it
>there is some good description and I don't think it's a terrible short story, but I would question whether or not it's a suitable story for this.
>There's a clear attempt at humour throughout the entire passage but overall it's a somewhat dry piece of writing"

[Anonymous No.4351850]

>>4351840
>somewhat dry
Oh hell, I guess your life is over, OP. Surely non-existence would be preferable to your writing being somewhat dry.

[sange !Fde5Qjfb5g No.4351847]

Well then post it bitch.

[Deep&Edgy !!BfzNblz4cXS No.4351853]

why don't you submit it to a vanity publisher like the april reader

[Anonymous No.4351854]

You get to meet some pretty interesting people when you travel, lonely wives, truckers, fellow travellers and suicidal meth addicts. If you’re lucky you’ll meet a couple of wise Big Lebowki type cowboy fellas. My endeavour starting from San Francisco up the West Coast to Canada involved meeting these kind of people. It was definitely a positive and growing experience and if you’re considering travelling, just be prepared for the ubiquitous shortage of money, the immoderate consumption of beef jerky and constant fear of using truck stop bathrooms.

I guess I was just tired, tired of the never-ending nine to five routine, the bureaucracy and having to keep a cool face whenever being in the presence of my boss’s stomach churning bad breath, who by the way was the overseer from hell; he made me work on weekends and ate my sandwiches. He may not sound evil, but those sandwiches would have Columbus smoked apple wood ham in them, which is not cheap.
So on one melancholic night I decided to leave, of course I can’t remember exactly which night it was because apathy and melancholy had riddled my life ever since I realized Santa wasn’t real. I packed my bag with what sentimental photos, items, books and magazines I had and was on my way. Before I left for good I decided to stop by my boss’s office and give him a little good bye present. It involved drinking a bottle of Gatorade, my nether regions and my employer’s keyboard and computer.


Fast-forward three months of gruelling yet audacious travelling I found myself in a little fishing boat a few miles off of Anchorage, Alaska. My diet consisted purely of the salmon and cod that we caught, and a week in my newfound career I started to fear that I would get scurvy. Luckily, we would only be offshore for a week and come back to anchorage for another week, that’s where I could stock up on Vitamin C, Fibre and all the delight and glee a fishing boat could not offer.
It was a really tiring job, the pay was mediocre and the excessive consumption of fish put me off sushi for the rest of my life, but when I wasn’t shivering myself too death I would be enjoying the tranquil atmosphere of the Gulf of Alaska and the occasional aurora borealis.

[Deep&Edgy !!BfzNblz4cXS No.4351855]

le big lebowki

[Anonymous No.4351856]

[Anonymous No.4351857]

‘Here comes the Ocean, and the waves down by the shore’, those lyrics popped into my head while I was being powerlessly drifted underwater. I guess I thought I was going to die and felt that the Velvet Underground’s song would be a suitable parting melody. After what felt like an eternity I emerged to the surface, I was bitterly cold and in desperate need of a nice, hot, steamy Jacuzzi. I witnessed the fishing boat leave me in the numbing and desolate wasteland in which I was trapped in. Things got even worse when I realized I was being pushed to the back of the ship where a large metal propeller would be waiting for me. As I was being sucked closer and closer to my fate I tried everything I could do to get away, I splashed and violently fluttered my arms and legs like a frenzied monkey but it proved to be futile. My eyes were wearing out on me; the rapid spinning of the sharp metal propeller struck a type of fear into me that I had never experienced in the entirety of my life. In that moment I accepted my fate and let unconsciousness take me.

There it was again, the familiar stench of salt that stretched on for thousands of miles. I awoke with Salmon waggling in my boot and a familiar fishing net acting as my bed, the storm had died out and surrounding me were my fellow fishermen; I was back on the ‘NorthWestern’. They told me what happened; they stopped the ship and one of the fishing nets caught my unconscious body. I couldn’t help but plaster a smile on my numb face, the sky was blue and the seagulls were squawking, the water was wet and the air tasted of tears, but it felt damn good to be breathing.

[Anonymous No.4351860]

i thought it was okay, i wouldnt say dry but i can see how someone might not appreciate its style. Maybe they were looking for more descriptive pieces?

[Anonymous No.4351862]

they dont want to publish ur shitty story who the fuck would want to read it ur a nobody in this world m8 i hope u learned ur lesson and now go get some friends in the industry if u want to get famous and if u dont want to get famous then you wouldnt have posted this because this isnt ur blog you would have kept on trying until u find a magazine willing to post it

[Anonymous No.4351865]

>>4351862
>;(

hello darkness my old friend...

[Anonymous No.4351869]

>>4351857
>desolate wasteland in which I was trapped in
>commas used in place of other punctuation seemingly at random
Without wanting to be harsh, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to get this stuff sorted out before you submit things for publication...

[Anonymous No.4351872]

>>4351869
ok i acknowledge i should have proof read it more than twice

[Anonymous No.4351882]

>>4351872
I'd say at least 6x, and ideally get others to do so too. Mind you, you could always claim
>in which I was trapped in
is paying tribute to Sir Paul McCartney's Live And Let Die.

[Anonymous No.4351887]

keep submitting there are more than one literary magazines out there

[Anonymous No.4351888]

>>4351882
thank you for that criticism, to be honest I was in arush and needed to submit it before the deadline. I did ask a few people to read it but they are just plebs who said it was good.
thats the worst feedback ever; "its good m8"

[Anonymous No.4351899]

>>4351888
Well, it was only a couple of technical things- I wouldn't feel qualified to criticse in any detail. I liked it though and think you should definitely keep going. But go over this with a fine-tooth grammatical comb if you want to submit it anywhere else. I'm pretty sure that the very first comma shouldn't be a comma, and that's not going to endear you to anyone making a decision.

[Anonymous No.4351905]

>>4351899
its true my grammar is terrible. My dad was an english linguistic prof and he would always tell me "you're grammar's shit son, you're ineptitude with the english language has turned me into one bitter and hateful old man". Well he didnt exactly say that but you get the message.

[Anonymous No.4351931]

>>4351905
very subtle, bravo

[Anonymous No.4351937]

I thought the climax was boring and uninspired

[Anonymous No.4351948]

OP, there's nothing to it but to keep trying. Before you do though, read Politics and the English Language by Orwell and pick up a copy of Elements of Style. For proofreading, do your final proof read on a hard copy and lay it out horizontally on the ground so as to be able to see the natural progression of the text all at once.

[Anonymous No.4351974]

>>4351850

[Anonymous No.4352007]

Ehh, it has a lot of unnecessary adjectives and verbs that just don't work. The voice is a little conflicted too, sometimes it reads colloquial and others it gets verbose and purple. Overall it's not terrible, just kind of clunky and awkward.

Don't let this rejection get you down though. The piece needs some work, and you'll probably just need more practice to get it right. Don't stop writing, and don't stop reading. You'll improve with every short like this that you write and every book you read.