Best of >self publishing

File: 2.07 MB, 1148x1400, the cools brothers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:29:51 2013 No.4275854 [DELETED]

Best of
>self publishing

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:35:49 2013 No.4275869 File: 817 KB, 676x588, The LGH Part 1 The Rise of the Plains.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:41:06 2013 No.4275879 File: 345 KB, 1149x676, Goodnight Kiss ch 1 Adrian Johnson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 1/5

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:44:05 2013 No.4275887 File: 273 KB, 1149x676, Goodnight Kiss ch 2 Adrian Johnson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 2/5

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:46:35 2013 No.4275896 File: 301 KB, 1149x676, Goodnight Kiss ch 3 4 Adrian Johnson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 3/5

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:49:35 2013 No.4275901 File: 250 KB, 1149x676, Goodnight Kiss ch 5 Adrian Johnson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 4/5

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:51:35 2013 No.4275908 File: 360 KB, 1149x676, Goodnight Kiss ch 6 Adrian Johnson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 5/5 Yes, that was the entire book.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:55:36 2013 No.4275914 File: 1.16 MB, 946x1045, Take a Walk with Me Through Hell by Christopher Shaw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 14:58:35 2013 No.4275922 >>4275879 >>4275887 >>4275896 >>4275901 >>4275908 No way someone really paid to have this printed. No damn way.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:00:35 2013 No.4275925 these threads are stupid. sage

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:00:35 2013 No.4275927 >>4275922 >yfw you realize a 7-year-old wrote it and his parents paid for it to be published to encourage him to keep on writing

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:01:35 2013 No.4275929 >>4275922 http://www.lulu.com/shop/adrian-johnson/goodnight-kiss-the-story-of-a-nightmare/paperback/product-21284180.html

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:03:36 2013 No.4275934 File: 441 KB, 753x597, Menzuo SW Legend of the Blue Diamond.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:08:36 2013 No.4275943 File: 1.17 MB, 1407x675, Lost Times p1 Stephen Redmond-Weigant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 1/3

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:10:35 2013 No.4275947 File: 1.40 MB, 1407x675, Lost Times p2 Stephen Redmond-Weigant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 2/3

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:10:35 2013 No.4275948 >>4275927 Do you really think this couldn't possibly backfire?

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:14:36 2013 No.4275959 File: 1.10 MB, 1407x675, Lost Times p3 Stephen Redmond-Weigant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 3/3

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:17:36 2013 No.4275963 >>4275927 as if self publishing could look any less professional

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:20:36 2013 No.4275969 File: 927 KB, 1169x548, Forest by Jamie Farrens.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:22:36 2013 No.4275976 File: 46 KB, 460x288, Zardari1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4275959 >I forget how nice your body is and how tan you are!!!

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:24:35 2013 No.4275982 File: 353 KB, 1035x542, Halloween Night Adrian Johnson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:30:35 2013 No.4275988 File: 1002 KB, 1331x1177, The New Girl Arshad Ali.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:34:36 2013 No.4275997 File: 133 KB, 607x424, self published.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4275854 >"OHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOOODNNNNEEEEEESSSSSS!" Ed screamed.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:37:35 2013 No.4276001 File: 368 KB, 789x597, the fluffer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:47:10 2013 No.4276024 I may laugh at the awful shit in these threads, but deep down I'm scared my writing is just as bad, if not even worse than this.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:49:10 2013 No.4276032 >>4275854 >"Therefore our big brother is dead"

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:51:10 2013 No.4276038 >>4275854 OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOODNESSSSS it would have been funnier as OOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYY VEEEEEEYYYYYY!

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:53:10 2013 No.4276043 >>4275869 Holy fuck, I imagine that person wrote while wearing a Naruto headband

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 15:53:10 2013 No.4276042 >>4275988 >And on the other side i was very much relaxed and comfortably sitting on my seat to watch the live telecast of our captain being raped. That escalated quickly.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:02:09 2013 No.4276052 File: 114 KB, 592x845, Hot Topic Naruto.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4276043 they're certainly somewhere low on the "functioning autism" scale.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:04:10 2013 No.4276056 >>4276038 The Jews Brothers

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:04:10 2013 No.4276058 >>4275943 >Trying to pretend to be calm and relax Bentley and Scott rush towards the elevator the door seems to be jammed and not wanting to close. What the fuck is this sentence trying to say???

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:05:10 2013 No.4276059 >>4276052 w2c Naruto jacket and Naruto metal lunchbox They both look just awful enough to be ironically fashionable.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:13:09 2013 No.4276070 File: 23 KB, 220x203, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4276059 Holy fuck you're almost right

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:17:10 2013 No.4276074 Here's my attempt to write as bad as self publishers posting on 4chan he said. Then he look up as saw the girl and said "hey baby want to get a milkshake if not can I shake youre milk? Lol"!

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 16:19:10 2013 No.4276084 File: 17 KB, 214x271, she sees my peniss.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4275947 >that high detailed school shooting

Anonymous Sat Nov 16 19:10:36 2013 No.4276468
File: 1.90 MB, 400x225, thats not murder. its burning with style.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4275947
>How do you feel that you survived that horiffic event!!? Wait you're the one who came into the school and took out the 5 shooters aren't you?"

>"Well yeah sorta the last one killed himself so I only really killed 2 and knocked out the other two!"

Humble as fuck.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 21:17:11 2013 No.4276801 File: 645 KB, 1156x1228, Spell Casters Book 2 The Amulet of the Lost King by Luke Hyde.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Sat Nov 16 22:17:11 2013 No.4276990

>>4275854
I like to re-write these kinds of things for kicks:

David leaned against the wall of the auditorium as he stared his brother down. He thought of everything Little Edward could be, but failed to live up to. It was embarrassing. There was Little Edward--who hated being called that--pouring himself a glass of fruit punch with hunched shoulders and head slung down between like the oaf he was.

David walked over to his brother, grabbed the fruit punch out of Edward's hand, then draped his arm around his brother's shoulder. "Hey," he said, "Why don't you stop acting like such a loser and actually talk to a girl for once?"

"I dunno," Edward said, "They scare me."

"Oh, God," David groaned. "Be a fucking man for once."
---
Ugh, that's all I can muster tonight. It's just so bad.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 22:39:11 2013 No.4277043 >>4276801 Using "said" is okay every once in a while HE YELLED IRONICALLY.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 22:44:17 2013 No.4277057 >>4275988 >Is it possible to write a book without reading a single novel. This is bait, it has to be. Seriously, right? That fucking level of autism with the CD swap, tho

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 16 22:48:24 2013 No.4277069 >>4277057 That's what's so scary about it. If it was something someone posted on 4chan, then you could scoff at it and pass it off as bait. But someone wrote a check to a vanity press to get those words published. They were being serious.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 17 01:20:41 2013 No.4277391 File: 70 KB, 466x176, right.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 17 01:28:41 2013 No.4277419 >>4277391 >21th

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 17 12:47:46 2013 No.4278533 File: 1.09 MB, 1576x590, Karissa Nagle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 17 18:06:31 2013 No.4279521 File: 1.26 MB, 1875x681, Messed Up Beyond ~ Collision of Two Worlds.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 01:19:27 2013 No.4280731 >>4277419 >tewnty-firtht

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 02:20:19 2013 No.4280854 File: 229 KB, 668x497, X32 Into the Void.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 02:28:18 2013 No.4280866 >this is why self publishing has a bad name I wonder if it's easier to make money in self publishing than it seems, especially if the stuff that doesn't sell looks like this. I think I'll publish something as an experiment.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 05:53:15 2013 No.4281209 File: 51 KB, 675x673, genetony.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Guy from my Creative Writing class "published" his 50 page "novel" on amazon

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:02:14 2013 No.4281222 >>4281209 BUT WHO WAS GENE?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:07:16 2013 No.4281229 >>4275854 What's up with that picture? I feel like I have synesthesia when reading it

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 06:54:35 2013 No.4281292 >>4280854 >I yelled... quietly. Gets me every time.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 07:20:35 2013 No.4281337 >>4281209 >warphanage

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 12:54:26 2013 No.4281888 File: 58 KB, 693x655, ougagasdg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I was the editor of a journal where this was submitted. I rejected it outright but not before saving it and laughing at with with all my friends.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 13:06:27 2013 No.4281912 File: 216 KB, 393x391, 1365229682136.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4275934 This can't be real.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 13:29:59 2013 No.4281963 >>4280866 One author makes 6 digits a month from kindle alone, so there's definitely potential for the talented few.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 14:36:00 2013 No.4282139 File: 514 KB, 774x1032, tfw-thirteen-years-old.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4281888 Seriously?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 15:21:01 2013 No.4282245 File: 81 KB, 274x164, Fuckin' woah.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4275934 >MEGA BODY ATTACK >BOOM I'm fucking dying

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 15:34:01 2013 No.4282279 >>4275934 If the purpose of good writing is to convey clear messages, this guy is an academic because I CAN CERTAINLY UNDERSTAND THAT STUFF IS BLOWING UP

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 15:47:00 2013 No.4282318 >>4275934 >SWOOSH!

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 15:52:00 2013 No.4282335 File: 166 KB, 1600x1200, bear-03.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4280854 What are some good books about bears?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:08:03 2013 No.4282383 >>4282139 You don't even know, man. It goes full DBZ from there. It's ridic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 16:52:01 2013 No.4282521 How do I reconcile my belief that the profit motive shouldn't influence literature with the absolute fact that most self-published works are shit?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:08:01 2013 No.4282593 >>4281888 >with nary a care except for the guy trying to kill him holy fuck my sides

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:20:00 2013 No.4282636 >>4275934 I am going to be frank, if he sold his shit for two dollars, I'd buy it. It is so hilariously bad.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 17:42:00 2013 No.4282708 >not posting the Ulysses of self-published fiction http://www.amazon.com/From-Nickels-Ounces-Deandre-Surrell/dp/1462893031#reader_B005HI30XO

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 18 21:36:08 2013 No.4283269 File: 435 KB, 770x653, The Invisible Secret.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 00:35:31 2013 No.4283612 >>4275927 >implying it's not a 17-year-old Dude, the Angry Beavers fanfiction I wrote on third grade was miles better than this shit. It had planes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 00:47:19 2013 No.4283623 >>4275934 You can't help but laugh when you know that this shit is DragonBallZ in book form.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 12:12:54 2013 No.4284616 >>4282383 Do you have the rest?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 12:21:40 2013 No.4284634 >>4275927 This makes it cute instead of embarrassing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 12:41:40 2013 No.4284674 >>4275879 >AAAHHH!!! Yep.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 12:53:28 2013 No.4284699 File: 52 KB, 631x537, 1236068_597719253622043_597416972_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4275869 >When the car stopped Wait, wait. He rolled under a moving car?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 13:00:27 2013 No.4284715 >>4275934 >Mega Body attacks

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 13:03:27 2013 No.4284723 >>4283269 >they say a picture can say a thousand words >say

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 13:07:27 2013 No.4284736 >>4284699 I believe he grabbed onto the car's underside and held there the whole way as it drove. Sometimes you have to wonder, where do these idiots get their ideas?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:06:17 2013 No.4284858 >>4275896 >guy breaks his neck during the night >still shows up for school this is fucking gold

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 14:23:18 2013 No.4284890 I often wonder why the fuck I ever go on booksies, because the majority of the stuff I read is on this level of shit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 19 19:27:36 2013 No.4285825 >>4284699 He earned his black belt when he was nine, he rolled OVER the car, then under it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:24:44 2013 No.4287023 >>4275908 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRuIpOg6vq8

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:26:44 2013 No.4287027 File: 447 KB, 1000x750, lofgtpsmall.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 02:30:43 2013 No.4287032 >>4275929 >http://www.lulu.com/shop/adrian-johnson/spider-a-childrens-book/hardcover/product-21172338.html >53 fucking dollars Pffthahah

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 10:54:43 2013 No.4287535 File: 136 KB, 306x183, gentoo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4287032 >preview is the whole book >made on ms paint >53 dollars

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 10:59:51 2013 No.4287547 >>4275929 >THE DEAD... HAS THE SOFTEST VOICES

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 13:58:25 2013 No.4287997 >>4287535 $53? This better be the best damn book I've ever read... You got lucky this time, Adrian.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 14:08:25 2013 No.4288020 >>4275982 >Remember those boys from earlier? Well, they're dead. How could Little Brown not give this guy a book deal?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 18:35:39 2013 No.4288733 >>4283269 God damn, I hate it when authors try to put the meaning of life on the first page of their story.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:08:38 2013 No.4288807 >>4275934 I can't read this shit for too long. The cringe is too much. It's like really dense philosophy - I have to read little snippets, then put it down to recover from the assault on my faculties, and then pick it back up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:50:47 2013 No.4288892 >>4288733 But anon, how else are you going to grab your ADHD-ridden readers?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:53:47 2013 No.4288899 >>4288807 I feel the same way when I eat a cake with too much frosting on it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:55:46 2013 No.4288905 >>4288892 >>4288733 You know what I think really happened? This person was in a creative writing class or something, and the prompt of the day was "A picture is worth a thousand words" and this person published their writing prompt.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 19:58:02 2013 No.4288916 >>4275947 >simi-auto machine gun riffle

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 20 22:07:53 2013 No.4289291 >>4287032 >53 dollars >for a 10 page book >featuring spiders drawn in ms paint >that have 6 fucking legs Are you sure this isn't some ruse by David Thorne?

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 21 11:53:52 2013 No.4290821 >>4289291 It is a children's book then spiders dont need to have all their legs. It also doesnt have to be well written or make sense.

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/lit/ - Literature