/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.4259777]

library humiliation thread!

>Be on 4th floor of super hip, giant library in downtown Paris
>One floor is about 400 people, all sitting at desks crossing the room
>Damn, that sea of intelligence
>place is crammed with humans, hip youngsters everywhere
>Find a spot near cute girl
>Take out my shiny laptop, *zzzip*
>Make sure to plug in earphones before turning it on, don't want to disturb the 400+ people working in catacombic silence
>people stare at my super cool desktop background as they walk by, oh yea
>Start researching some shit for a global warming project due tomorrow
>alright!
>All of a sudden some guy randomly starts talking about sea patterns, while some dinky dramatic music plays. Deafeningly loud.
>silence shattered, uproar unleashed. People turn around and stare in my neighbor's general direction from all over the floor, some guy shouts "Turn it down!" from across the hall
>I snigger, staring at my neighbor
>He stares back at me, visibly confused
>All around me, people wait for the confrontation that's about to blow
>I say, with a suave grin ''Umm...Sure, sea patterns are interesting (laugh)...but we'd like to study, could you turn it down?''
>He's looking really pissed
>meh, he's a moron, let it be
>continue working on my project while the noise is just getting louder, some guy is now talking about coral reef pollution, people making muttering sounds while staring at my neighbor
>A man from across the room comes to me
>"Turn it down''
>It hits me, right in the face
>I didn't plug my earphones in all the way
>About 40-50 people are staring, girl near me laughs
>Holy fuck I wish I was dead
>sheepishly apologize, then leave after 15 minutes
>feel the hatred-filled stare of the whole room burn a hole in my back as i leave, a lesser man

[Anonymous No.4259802]

haha op... holy fuck is that for real?

[Anonymous No.4259815]

>Walking back to take book out of Library
>Suddenly leaves my hand and hits the floor
>"FUCK"
>Everyone in the library turns and stares me down.

I wish my life was interesting.

[Anonymous No.4259816]

I feel humiliated whenever I walk into a library. I've only had courage to pick up Infinite Jest once and flip through it. People were staring at me, they hate me I know it.

[Anonymous No.4259818]

>>4259777
hahaha that suuuuuucks I'm in a library right now with a blanket cozy as fuck nigga

Single serve study room nigga what

[Anonymous No.4259863]

That's pretty pathetic, man.

[Anonymous No.4259872]

>cute librarian
>fucking smiled across her whole skull when I checked out diarias motocicletas
>want her to think I'm a badass rebel like Che
>have cop friend
>ask him to take me to the library in his cop car
>make myself look a little roughed up
>get escorted into library by police officer
>she wasn't there that day
>pick up Neruda and leave
>puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche

[Anonymous No.4259878]

pretty sad you actually did all of that just to make some girl think about you

''Hell is other people"- Sartre

[Anonymous No.4259887]

>in the toronto reference library at yonge & bloor on thursday afternoon
>checking out some stuff a faggot grad student must have checked out of robarts until the end of time
>dead silence except for the dim murmur of whispered conversations on the first floor
>suddenly WELL TELL THAT FUCKING BITCH TO DO IT HERSELF
>IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE MY WORK THAT FUCKING CUNT CAN BRING THE GODDAMN TV HERSELF
>FUCKING *****CUNT******
>GOD DAMN!
>NO! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! TELL THAT BITCH IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM..
>etc.
>4 floors of people staring down at the guy
>he doesn't give a shit

[Anonymous No.4259894]

>>4259887
I like that library

[Anonymous No.4259897]

>>4259878
>pretty sad you actually did all of that just to make some girl think about you

what? most of what he did had nothing to do with the girl.

[Anonymous No.4259899]

>be at library or bookstore, reading
>surreptitiously stare at cute girls or nice asses that walk by
>occasionally a cute girl sits by me and stares back
>nothing happens
>i leave

it's humiliating to me at least.

[Anonymous No.4259900]

>>4259887
HOLY FUCK, I WAS THERE

I WAS THERE ON THURSDAY BECAUSE MY BROTHER WAS AT THE RYERSON OPEN HOUSE

Didn't here any yelling though...

[Anonymous No.4259907]

>>4259900
I only know it was between about 2 and 6, on the stage on the ground floor. I think the dude was working maintenance on the stage. Two security guards were trying to talk him down.

>>4259894
It's really nice, and very handy. Sometimes I have to go all the way up to York to find materials not available elsewhere in the city.

[Anonymous No.4259909]

haha i always go to libraries hoping to get some cute literature savvy ass, always a bitter disappointment when I'm on the ride back home alone

[Anonymous No.4259915]

>looking for a free table where i can read until my next class starts
>walking past a bunch of people when some girl who is seated on her boyfriend's lap turns to me and says hello
>she turns back to her boyfriend and they start laughing to themselves
>i pretend that i'm not bothered and keep walking past all the tables
>get to the end of the tables and turn down an aisle and sneak back to the entrance
>walk to my car and go home
>lie in bed feeling depressed because two strangers could tell from a mile away that i was a kissless virgin
>also worried about the stuff that i missed in lecture

[Anonymous No.4259917]

>>4259907
I'm not from TO so I don't get to go there much, but I was envious of the place.

Fuck UofT ;_;

[Anonymous No.4259918]

you should talk to them, i'm sure many girls go to libraries hoping to meet some cute lil nerd

[Anonymous No.4259925]

>>4259915

damn nigga that's all in your head, they're just d-bags, ignore them

[Anonymous No.4259935]

>>4259777
>mfw i watch videos of beurettes getting gangbanged in my university library

[Anonymous No.4259937]

>>4259777
harsh, kill yourself

[Anonymous No.4259940]

>sitting in the library, somewhere in paris, studying and researching
>very large number of people arond, all completely oblivious to the epiphany we were about to witness
>SUDDENLY this lanky guy barges in, examining the place with a cold gaze as if the whole room belongs to him, everyone fell dead silent, everyone knew in an instance that he ment business
>guy walks directly to the cutest girl in the room, who has made it previously very clear that she values her private space, but he just doesnt give a single fuck, sitting down directly besides her, pushing her stuff away with his brandnew MSI GT70 17.3-Inch Laptop
>to top it all - I shit you not, that really happened!!!- that guy has the nerve to wind up his volume at maximum, A SHATTERING CACOPHONY FROM THE GODS THEMSELF RIDING OUT TO CONTEST ALL THAT IS HOLY IN THIS HOUSE OF ACADEMIC LEARNING
>everyone was dumbfounded, noone dared to say a thing, noone believing what was unfurling before their eyes
>at least, after a couple of minutes his neighbour plucked up the courage to ask him to make the volume a little bit quieter
>just got laughed at, the guy ignores him, working on his paper with a big shiteating grin on his face
>another couple of minutes pass, people begin to flee the scene out of sheer terror, then the largest, most ripped guy in the whole room walks to him
>Mr. Badass glances up for a split-second, but that was enough, the other guy totally lost all his spaghetti
>"T-t-t-t-urn ...... i-it ....d-d-d-own''
>nothing
>"P-p-p-lease?"
>Mr.Badass just shrugging his shoulders, muttering something
>the one who asked is literally running back, tears in his eyes
>the silence is deafening, more people are fleeing, everyone stared at awe at the guy
>he then leaves the place, obviously having finished his work in that short time, because he is just THAT awesome

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

I used to feel this way, too, but then I ran into that guy. In a way, this was liberating. I no longer have to worry about being the baddest motherfucker in the world. The position is taken.

[Anonymous No.4259945]

>>4259935
l-link?

[Anonymous No.4259950]

>>4259940
>Until a man is twenty-five

Stephenson was dead wrong about that. There are tons of forty year olds with those fantasies.

[Anonymous No.4259953]

>>4259940
bro what are you on

[Anonymous No.4259980]

>>4259777
holy fuck this is why i've stopped going to libraries altogether, people there are like wolves waiting to devour their isolated prey

[Anonymous No.4259987]

>>4259915
GO BACK THERE AND PUNCH THAT FUCKING BITCH SO HARD THAT SHE FUCKING EXPLODES

[Anonymous No.4259989]

>>4259987
doing that mentally right now

[Anonymous No.4260009]

>go to library in harrisburg, PA
>looking for book about dog breeds
>walk in the door, homeless people sitting in chairs sleeping
>ask minority female librarian if she can tell me where books about dog breeds are
>says she doesn't know
>leave
>never go back

[Anonymous No.4260066]

>>4259777
I have so many library stories it isn't funny.

I got a security guard fired for busting me for sleeping. I wrote a well worded complaint about how libraries are not a place for tyranny. Head librarian was impressed and rang me up to talk about it.

[Anonymous No.4260080]

>>4259987
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvwaYbPSW3Y

[CalleBorjesson !4qjq0nOdXk No.4260101]

>go to library
>book I'm looking for is at the top floor
>take elevator up
>they have a bunch of televisions up there for the *snicker* film majors
>they also have a Wii, 360, and PS3 (it was 2007) available for use
>ask what games they have available for the PS3
>ALL OF THEM, MOTHERFUCKER
>run back to the dorms and grab my mountain dew
>oh shit nigger time for Metal Gear Solid 4!
>local frat is already using the PS3
>try to hide my tears as I check out Gears of War 2 for the still available 360
>play the single player campaign, trying my hardest to enjoy it
>frat boys look over to me and say, "Hey, when you're done with Gaylo, how about you suck my dick?"
>"y-you too."
>then at the xerox machine I thought a girl waved at me but she was waving at someone behind me
>I can never go back to the library and I probably owe them hundreds of dollars in late fees by now.

[Anonymous No.4260105]

>>4259777

[Charles Bukkake !!dbC6x/DQFYo No.4260111]

>>4260101
I figured you'd show up in this thread.

[Anonymous No.4260126]

>>4260101
thought you were in jail for trying to shoot up your school

[Anonymous No.4260133]

>>4260111
lel your trip
now all we need is "top zizekekekek"

[Anonymous No.4260144]

>>4260066
We would be very good friends, I can tell.

Dunno, maybe the most "embarrassing" one would be this.

>At Stanford University
>Walk into Bender Room, a special collection room with epic chairs and lamps and wood floors and rugs and just the best collection of books.
>Never been in here before, why don't I give it a go?
>Foolish
>'Twas during midterms
>As soon as I open the door, the little creak makes three-quarters of the heads in the room jolt my direction and fucking GLARE at me.
>Look aghast at people being this neurotic about sound in their study environment
>Say, "Wow, fuck ALL of you." and walk away

I've gone in there during summer term and on odd afternoons post exams and been totally alone. At that point, it is the most magical place on campus. But when it's filled with autists, not so much. Don't get me wrong, I love my peace and quiet, and that's why the room is great when you're alone, but you have to expect a little bit of noise (backpacks zipping, papers rustling, doors opening) in a communal study space. If you don't like that, go to the cubbies.

[Anonymous No.4260157]

>>4260101
I have no clue what to make of this list.

[Anonymous No.4260196]

>Sitting in the upper floors of local library.
>Big drafty place
>Have headphones on, try to connect to wifi.
>"There's no wifi in this ancient fucking tomb"
>10/10 bomb_shell has her head turned onto my degree
>I have the urge to make it look like I'm actually doing work.
>I start typing.
>I break into a nap a few minutes later.
>I wake up in a sweat heap
>Said female standing over me with gentle touch on my shoulder
> "What's this you've got here"
> "Oh, just something I'm working on. It's just uh a story about a pastor having an existential crisis like..."
> " The Catcher in the Rye!"
> "Yes, just like that."
> "Is this an experimental piece or..."
> " Yeah!"
I look to my screen to see ''!QEJLkdjnv,ciejsn f;aukfjcjnvsnakeifugncnml;fjdur ijw alsdf jur jiolkjr jalsdjfn bugh ieoq3948 5lasdlfjncv.vbblfdakjeiurohqhglkds;agh ba sdgb asekjghsjd g asdbgjaisdg a b gb dbasd fabd bkjabsdf" Typed
>I look at her in the eye and leave without saying a word.

[Anonymous No.4260205]

>>4260196
Should have told her you were also trying to emulate Joyce.

[Anonymous No.4260251]

>>4260101
you're that idiot in the pic?

[Anonymous No.4260278]

>>4260205
Oh god, lolling so hard.

[Anonymous No.4260297]

>>4259777
>Be in grad school
>Supposed to be in class. 7:30-9:45pm
>Find myself alone and stoned in basement of library
>40oz of Olde English in my backpack
>Down that shit slow and steady while reading some shit about Mormons
>Fall asleep
>Wake up an hour or two later and feel bad about myself.

[Anonymous No.4260298]

>>4260297

Damn son haha

[Anonymous No.4260299]

>carrying huge stack of books for paper on D.H. Lawrence
>stumble a little
>14 books just fly everywhere and clang all over the ground
>JEEEEEEEEEEESUUUUUUUS CAAAAAHRIIIIIIIIST
>realize how loudly I spoke
>gather my books with crimson cheeks and leave with the help of the self-checkout machine

[Anonymous No.4260320]

>300 pages into Wright's The Outsider
>three renewals, the book is finally due
>bring it in to the librarian
>"Can I return this and then check it right back out before you put it back in the stacks?"
>"As long as it's not a popular book."
>"I don't think it is."
>she looks at me, "That was a joke."

>tfw the librarian makes me feel bad about my taste in literature

[Anonymous No.4260366]

>>4259887
Toronto has such well-read homeless

[Anonymous No.4260367]

>>4260320
The Outsider? Nice. The subway escape scene was gory as fuck. Obviously your librarian is racist.

[Anonymous No.4260368]

>>4260297
Liam is that you?

[Anonymous No.4260403]

>tfw you never check out library books anymore because you want as few obligations as possible so that you can kill yourself at any time

[Anonymous No.4260410]

>>4259935

That's nothing. Search Ginger Banks. She's an ASU girl who gets naked in the libraries. She has hit the law library, the Hayden library, the science library... She's a menace and it's awesome.

Actually, this calls for story time.

>be me, sophomore in college
>go to ASU, literature department is pretty good, philosophy department is awesome
>come home from class to my dorm
>my roommate is losing it
>"Anon, you HAVE to see this."
>He pulls up a video of some camwhore diddling herself
>This isn't OK, I don't like watching porn with friends
>He suddenly pauses the video
>"Look, Anon. Right there. Look through the window over her shoulder. You see that? It's OUR DORM."
>it begins, etc
>I make it my quest to find her
>To talk to her
>To have wild sex with her
>...
>One day, months later
>Be me (again)
>Walking around campus
>The one and only Ginger Banks rides by on her bike
>"HEY, do you know where the doodoodoo building is?!"
>she starts pedaling faster
>I break into a dead sprint
>"COME ON!"
>I see my friend in his car
>Sprint up to him, throw open passenger door
>"You see that girl on the bike? Drive."
>No questions, he starts gaining on her
>She ditches into an alley, never to be seen again.

Shit was so cash.

[Anonymous No.4260430]

>>4259872
>puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche
JaJaJaJaJaJaJaJa

[Anonymous No.4260434]

>>4260410
She put on some more weight and she still diddles herself in the library, but spends more time playing videos of herself diddling herself in the library than actual diddling.

[Anonymous No.4260439]

>>4260410

[Anonymous No.4260460]

>>4260434
>>4260439

Well, it turns out that she lives at West 6th. You know, the big towers on the Tempe skyline. She hangs out by the pool with her sister all the time, as you can see in her twitter pics. My buddy actually sent me a pic of her. He ended up getting with her sister. I forget Ginger's real name, but I'm pretty sure her stage name is a next-level pun on JarJar Binks.

[Anonymous No.4260461]

>>4260403
love you

[Anonymous No.4260494]

>>4260461
: ) Perché?

[Anonymous No.4260526]

>>4259872
>diarias motocicletas

[Anonymous No.4260531]

>Decide to visit the library for the first time in almost 6 years
>Been buying all my books during that time
>Low on money, decide to go pick up some books
>Can't find shit after they moved the library to a new place
>Constantly ask the qt librarian grill
>I need a book that isn't avaible to the common eye
>Make her walk all the way down to the depot to find it
>She comes back
>I have a huge stack of books
>Find out I have a 600 DKK fine
>Walk away in shame, spaghetti flying out of my pockets as I hit the door on the way out

[Anonymous No.4260542]

>>4259887
>checking out some stuff a faggot grad student must have checked out until the end of time


THIS FEEL

I KNOW THIS FEEL

Fucking grad students with their 6 month loan period what the fuck

Professors are even worse. Why don't they fucking buy their own books instead of keeping the library's only copy checked out for an entire year?

[Anonymous No.4260557]

>be at university library
>super hot qt back girl with amazing ass smiles at me
>trying to figure out how to talk to her, it's a library and really quiet
>she goes into the electronic compact shelving (the ones that move/ open up at the specific shelf you want)
>try to open the shelf that I want
>don't know how to work them
>accidentally move the one that she is in to squash her between the two shelves
>she screams, I have to hit an emergency button etc
>she comes out looking terrified
>a-a-are y-you okay? I-i Never mea-meant
>everyone is looking
>she says "wtf is wrong with you?!"
>I feel a wet patch begin to spread in my trousers
>I piss myself when really anxious
>I run away

:'(

pic related, those type of shelves

[Anonymous No.4260560]

>>4260101
serves you right for
>atlas shrugged

[Anonymous No.4260582]

>>4260542
you can recall that shit

[Anonymous No.4260589]

>>4260557
Did you honestly pee your pants?

[Anonymous No.4260597]

>lose interest in uni
>go inside public library to read everyday instead
>there are people
>read in my car in the parking lot to avoid them
>next days reading is becoming dull, masturbate and write instead
>next days I realize I can stay up late and sleep and dream in the car instead
>now my every waking hour is spent sitting in front of this monitor

Now I only need to transition into the final state of inactivity.

[Anonymous No.4260627]

>>4260597
why the fuck do you sleep in your car

[Anonymous No.4260632]

>>4260627
So as not to arouse suspicion of my not attending uni.

[Anonymous No.4260634]

>be skinny fit and according to /soc/ attractive
>go to library and get stares from girls
>all ways think it's hair or something with my face
>get a book and sit to read it
>girl sits in front of me
>she is smiling and seems to be looking for her friends
>3 of them now sits in front of me giving glimpses talking about something and laughing a little
>i suddenly put down my book
>THE FUCK YOU GIGGLING AT?!
>they look shocked
>i go away soon after

I don't even know...

[Anonymous No.4260803]

>>4260589
yeah. Haven't been back since

[Anonymous No.4260952]

>>4260803
Oh god...

[Anonymous No.4260958]

>>4259818
Explain. What are any of these things you're promising?

[Anonymous No.4260971]

...But how did you not recognise your own music?

[Anonymous No.4260986]

>>4260557

That sounds like a really dangerous system...

[Anonymous No.4260988]

>>4260971
was exhausted, hadn't slept the previous night, everything was blurry as fuck

[Anonymous No.4260999]

>>4260634
dude wtf do you have paranoid personality disorder

[Anonymous No.4261008]

>>4260634

I can say with no amount of uncertainty that they thought you were cute and were shyly goading each other into approaching you.

[Anonymous No.4261009]

>>4259777
>Beaubourg
>super hip

[Anonymous No.4261035]

haha, embarrassed is pretty much how everybody feels when walking around libraries on busy days

[Anonymous No.4261039]

>>4259802
>>4259777
samefag

[Anonymous No.4261041]

>>4261041
samefag

[Anonymous No.4261042]

>>4261039
too obvious to be true

[Anonymous No.4261065]

>>4261009
btg gros, deja alle au 3eme?

[Anonymous No.4261073]

>>4261065
Ouais super les clodos et le bruit ambient

[Anonymous No.4261084]

>>4261073
ptn mais ils sont ou les clodos jen vois jamais

[Anonymous No.4261090]

>>4261084
Il y en aura de plus en plus au fur et à mesure que l'hiver approchera

[Anonymous No.4261096]

>>4261090
et alors? trop snob le mec, retourne a ta librairie municipale du 16eme sale bourge

[Anonymous No.4261108]

>>4261096
Wow du calme mon gars, je te rapelle que tu prends la mouche juste parce que je te dis que la BPI ça pue du cul.

C'est pas les clodos, les clodos je m'en fous ; c'est surtout trop bruyant et inconfortable. Et puis c'est quand même assez drôle que tu t'imagines que j'habite dans le 16e.

[Anonymous No.4261112]

>>4259777
>in downtown Paris

What are you on about? Downtown Paris like the 13th arrondissement or the 15th are boring as fuck, and no form of intelligent life lives there.

[Anonymous No.4261118]

>>4261073
Bonjour, aimer vous Proust messieur?

[Anonymous No.4261123]

>>4261118
*aimez-vous

"er" indicates it's an infinitive

[Anonymous No.4261129]

>>4261123
watevs.

[Anonymous No.4261361]

At least it wasn't some weird-ass fetish porn.

[Anonymous No.4261392]

>>4259935
Link, please.

[Anonymous No.4261403]

>Go to the library to read some based Ben Jonson plays
>Yeah I am educated as balls...
>Turn on laptop
>Stone Cold Steve Austin podcast blares out of speaker
>'Give me a hell yeah, I'm about to unleash some audio whoopass...'
>Pull battery out, as people sitting next to me begin to snigger
>The thing continues to play wtf? 'You need to get some T+ in you, to keep your flag at full mast, you know what I'm saying...'
>Wtf? Can't turn that shit off...
>People starting to openly laugh at me
>Realize laptop charger is plugged into the socket.
>Pull that shit out
>Breath huge sigh of relief, and get back to Based Ben

[Anonymous No.4261406]

>>4261361
>HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO
>HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO
>HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO

[Anonymous No.4261408]

>>4261403
>Stone Cold Steve Austin podcast blares out of speaker

A like-minded fellow.

[Anonymous No.4261421]

>tfw a bunch of fags came into the uni library in the evening and said they were filming their version of Harlem Shake
>a bunch of gooks scattered and one or two normalfags agreed to join in
>some rugbylad asks if I won't mind moving elsewhere because they want to film
>tell him to fuck off
>he goes back to the group who are joking around, practicing their moves
>bunch of girls look at me with disgust on their faces
>mutter "fucking plebs" to myself as they begin to play the music and do their retarded dancing
>week later see it uploaded to youtube
>there's a part where they zoom in on my face and have "this saddo wouldn't get involved" written over it using Moviemaker captions or whatever
>tfw

[Anonymous No.4261424]

>>4260542
As a grad student I'll unashamedly admit that I do this, and renew it as much as possible.

That said, once the first two weeks are up and someone recalls it, I have to give it back, and I don't get pissed or anything. It should be the same - just recalll

[Anonymous No.4261432]

>>4261041
What the fuck?

[Anonymous No.4261435]

>>4261421
>Harlem Shake
I also go to a pleb university, and this shit happens all the time. Why do these people come to the library to do anything else other than study? Go to a club or something... there are designated areas for your stupidity...

[Anonymous No.4261496]

>>4261421

Link or it didn't happen

[Anonymous No.4261673]

>>4259777
When I was nine I was mad fun of for checking out the complete works of Poe.

[Anonymous No.4261686]

>in uni library on STEM floor because I am STEM
>it's a new library so every floor is packed with normalfags
>there's a big main area and you have to go through a small corridor on one side to get to the toilets on that side
>go there for a piss
>as I open door I notice Chad and this qt girl (but most likely a cumguzzler) snogging etc (this corridor usually had no one going through it)
>I notice and am unsure of whether to go in so I just quickly turn around and go to the other toilets
>they see me
>as I come back to my chair I walk past the qt, who's now at her chair, and laughing, and pointing me out to her qt friend

Add to this the fact that I'm really ugly and I was a 20 y/o virgin back then surrounded on all sides by hot girls at uni.

Epilogue of the story: I paid for escorts a few months later and my career prospects look good, so I no longer have an inferiority complex towards chads or qts

[Anonymous No.4261696]

>>4261686

2/3

>go to city's central library to look for a book
>looking around
>see a qt about my age reading in that obnoxious-girl-reading-to-get-attention-way
>admire her qtness for a second longer, she looks at me, I quickly walk away

lmao, looking for chads in the library, or most likely just beta orbiters.

[Anonymous No.4261713]

>>4261696

3/3

this is the most pathetic

>book an escort to lose my virginity
>forgot location of address on the way to town
>didn't have good mobile back then, had to go to public library to find it on googlemaps
>they have a book sale and I buy three books, including one by Kinglsey Amis called "Difficulties with girls" (because I'd heard of the writer)
>there was internal spaghetti when you're ugly and the person at the cashier is a qt
>use computer to find escort's address
>can't find it irl anyway
>don't lose virginity

[Anonymous No.4261714]

>>4261435

*tips fedora*

[Anonymous No.4261750]

>>4261041

[Anonymous No.4261811]

>At library to check out books on modern art
>See a qt girl already checking out the modern art bookshelf
>''Oh shit, qt girl''
>Sudden urge to check out architecture bookshelf instead
>mfw she stays there for a good half hour
>mfw I discover tons of interesting facts about deconstrucitvist architecture from the 90s

win win

[Anonymous No.4261823]

>hits me in the face

Why didn't you call the police?

[Anonymous No.4261825]

>go to library
>browsing for a bit
>they've got a copy of this book of horror stories by this obscure writer
>i go all "OH SHIT NIGGER" about it
>can't take the book home (it's a university library, and though i graduated from it you can't take books out unless you're currently enrolled or work there)
>can't steal it (or probably could, but way to beta to try)
>pull out my phone and decide to take photos of the book
>i go to a corner and find a table
>trying to be subtle about it, i place the book in my lap so the librarians or other people can't see what i'm doing
>start snapping pics
>after a while i'm getting fed up so i start taking photos of two-page spreads as opposed to individual pages to make it quicker
>to do this i have to pull my phone up so they fit in the frame
>i'm about halfway through when two qt's walks into the aisle
>they look at me
>they see a guy pointing his phone at his lap and taking pictures
>one of them says "gross!"
>they storm out
>probably going to call security on me
>i put the book on a random shelf and quickly get the fuck out of there

[Anonymous No.4261826]

>>4261811
>Modern art

kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.4261828]

>>4261811
Wow. How did the architect alter the clouds and trees, too?

That's freaky.

[Anonymous No.4261837]

>new to a big city, tired of spending my time alone
>decide to try and make friends
>go to library
>sit next to some chill looking bro, working on his laptop
>Decide he is going to be my friend
>Approach mode: activated
>Dead ass silence, I turn to him
>Say, ''hey, what's up?'' a little too loudly
>mfw people turn around and stare
>mfw he's wearing earplugs, and completely ignored me
>mfw I'm left hanging
>goofy grin on my face for the next half hour as my insides burn

pic unrelated

[Anonymous No.4261838]

>>4259940
Sounds like you saw a /fit/izen out of his natural habitat

[Anonymous No.4261853]

>>4260196
>ancient fucking tomb
lold

[Anonymous No.4261859]

>>4260557
How the fuck can that even exist?

It seems inherently inefficient and dangerous

[Anonymous No.4261864]

>>4261859

It makes sense from a spacing perspective, but yeah, fuck that. Too hazardous.

[Anonymous No.4261876]

>>4261837
dat pic doe

[Anonymous No.4261881]

>>4259777

Wow, I wanna fucking kill you OP. It doesn't even sound like you have the capacity to feel real shame about it, more like it's just another zany story to tell your friends

I really wish you'd die, fucking dog

[Anonymous No.4261883]

There's a book I still have returned since 2nd grade. I'm terrified of what the cost would be.

[Anonymous No.4261884]

>>4261837
>Decide he is going to be my friend

[Anonymous No.4261886]

>>4261881
there there, calm down honey

[Anonymous No.4261901]

>>4261884
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tECzWr_xjVg

[Anonymous No.4261915]

Your life is painful to read, /lit/, I hope you realize that.

[Anonymous No.4261925]

>>4261915
nah, this shit's the internal dialogue of pretty much everyy introspective male in his 20s, srry to break it to you lol

[Anonymous No.4261926]

>>4259899
I know this feel

[Anonymous No.4261928]

>>4261926
i second that

[Anonymous No.4261930]

>>4261901
This boy/man. He had best be trolling.

[Anonymous No.4261944]

>>4261837
James spotted

[Anonymous No.4261955]

>>4260634
They thought you looked nice you fucking idiot.

[Anonymous No.4261963]

>>4261955
what could he do about it anyways, ever picked up three chicks at once in the quietest place on earth?

doomed from the start

[Anonymous No.4261971]

>>4261963
He should've taken the initiative. Stood up, walked over, armed with a fedora. He would tip said hat at each female, addressing the fine specimens as "m'lady". The girls would've become enraptured in his class and craving sexual contact with this alpha male, euphoria radiating from every orifice.

[Anonymous No.4261996]

>>4261971
>with this alpha male, euphoria radiating from every orifice.

I threw up in my mouth a bit

[Anonymous No.4262001]

>>4260101

Is that tier list real? And is Calle D&E? I forgot.

[Anonymous No.4262018]

When I did my M.A. and worked as a copy monkey for the department, I had ~30 books in my office at any given time, half of which I would read less than a dozen pages out of yet still keep them for a month or two.

[Anonymous No.4262030]

>>4262001
Calle is Stagolee/Quentin

[Anonymous No.4262093]

>>4261955
>>4261008
You realize the point of posting stuff like that is to get people to tell him he's handsome and socially awkward, right? It's fishing for compliments.

[Anonymous No.4262095]

>>4261811
>deconstrucitvist architecture

[Anonymous No.4262116]

>>4262095
it's a thing

[Anonymous No.4262149]

>>4262093
On one hand, I think that's a bit dickish. On the other hand, I worry I fish for compliments and that. So I subconsciously resent the anon for reminding me of my own neurosis.

[Anonymous No.4262168]

>Go to public library
>Need to look up a call number for a book
>Go to the computer section
>They're all occupied by a bunch of sweaty nerds playing Runescape, Tibia, and Starcraft off of USB drives

Fucking public libraries

[Anonymous No.4262173]

>>4262095
deal with it. (nigger)

[Anonymous No.4262215]

Why do architects keep stealing the names of literary theory for their terrible design styles? (postmodern architecture, deconstructivist archtiecture...)

Changing the outward appearance of a building in a superficial way is nowhere near as significant as the theoretical developments whose names they're borrowing.

[Anonymous No.4262220]

>>4262215
>outward appearance

[Anonymous No.4262222]

>>4262215
Why?

Why can't architecture, I dunno, criticize ideology or something?

[Anonymous No.4262224]

>>4261881

Jesus, that escalated quickly.

[Anonymous No.4262225]

>>4261859
>>4261864

At my school they have these bumper things along the shelves so if anyone is inside they will stop closing.

[Anonymous No.4262226]

>at library
>wearing shorts, move leg to left under desk
>mfw leg rubs against hairy black man sitting opposite from me's giant thighs
>dat awkward eye contact

[Anonymous No.4262235]

>>4262222
after all, architecture has been tightly related to ideology through time. Just check out nazi architecture, or, i dunno, dem fucking egyptian pyramids

[Anonymous No.4262244]

>>4262168

Around here it's usually homeless people watching youtube videos and/or porn.

[Anonymous No.4262246]

>finals week last semester - working on one of my last papers in my undergrad career
>2 am or so
>go to bathroom
>a guy and a girl are both shirtless and passionately making out
>they didn't even lock the door
>just say "o-oh, s-s-sorry" and leave

Why do people do this? Just go back to your dorm for fuck's sake

[Anonymous No.4262260]

>>4261009
ça
enjoy les clodos qui viennent s'instruire, les lycéens qui s'en battent les couilles, etc.

[Anonymous No.4262264]

>>4262260
ouais mais tas vu les meufs la bas?
tu vas ou sur paris toi

[Anonymous No.4262266]

>>4262246
Is that what you and your gf do, anon?

[Anonymous No.4262272]

>>4262168
You should just walk up and yank their USB drives out. Alpha as FUCK

[Anonymous No.4262286]

>transfer to new college
>hardly know anything about campus
>meet for group project in library
>find partners and we begin to divide tasks
>people start staring at us
>slowly realize we are on an informal quiet floor
>[spergs internally]
>make a point to meet on correct floor for other meetings

[Anonymous No.4262288]

>>4262286
Were there any qt grills?

[Anonymous No.4262293]

>>4262286
waht a story Mark!

[Anonymous No.4262297]

>>4262246
You mean making out like kissing each other while hugging?
When i was going to dance, gymnastics there were many couples like that. The thing is that the girls talk with me and seem to like me, yet after i go catch a bottle of water next to practice room i notice the couples kissing and hugging and it is just awkward. I act friendly with other dancers that are boyfriends of said girls, still, when they, i think, notice those girls talking really nice to me becomes more distant from me.
I am an asshole for thinking or they are assholes for not caring, and that is on the presumption that they consider all that?

[Anonymous No.4262299]

>>4262288
Nah, it's a public university

[Anonymous No.4262302]

>be at university library
>sit in study area with tons of desks
>every single girl has taken off her boots/shoes
>myfetish.jpg

[Anonymous No.4262304]

>>4262264
ça reste ma bibliothèque de prédilection parce qu'elle est sur mon chemin mais elle a des gros défauts comme les clodos, les chiottes dégueus, l'orga de merde avec deux agents de sécurité pour scanner 2000 personnes les week ends, l'impossibilité de faire une vraie sortie temporaire...

après j'avoue y'a vla les meufs bonnes, tu croise toujours du monde sur la terrasse, les bons horaires pour travailler, bien placé dans paris, la recherche documentaire est hyper facile, etc.

[Anonymous No.4262314]

>>4262304
dem advantages far outweigh dem flaws though.
Tits + Fine Litterature > Poor People + Urine stains

[Anonymous No.4262327]

>>4262314
>>4262314
quand t'y vas le soir en semaine à part des khâgneuses maigrichonnes qui en sont à leur huitième café c'est pas la folie non plus

[Anonymous No.4262332]

>>4262327
lol ca sent le vecu du predateur. tes en khagne?

[Anonymous No.4262342]

>>4262332
en ecs et toi ?

[Anonymous No.4262348]

>>4262342
which prepa

[Anonymous No.4262352]

>>4262342
comment tu fais pour etre sur 4chan et en prepa ecs en meme temps, tes un gros foufou dis donc

[Anonymous No.4262361]

>>4262348
je n'en dirai pas plus

[Anonymous No.4262367]

>>4262361
lol trop parano, moi chui a l'ieseg, campus la defense represente

[Anonymous No.4262369]

>>4262352
lmao

[Anonymous No.4262373]

>>4262367
hahahaha merde t'es en combientième année ?

[Anonymous No.4262379]

>>4262373
>merde
toi meme, 24 ds classement du ft negro
1ere, tes fort ou pas ds les classements? tu vises HEC (lol)?

[Anonymous No.4262419]

>>4259915

you should've told the guy to sort his bird out

[Anonymous No.4262428]

>At library, leave pencil case and open book on desk
>need to pee
>come back, neighbors have left
>dick drawn on front cover of 20 dollar book
>mfw

[Anonymous No.4262436]

>>4260144

use the zip the fucking backpack and rustle the paper

just do whatever you need to do, its not against common courtesy - they are.

some of you guys care way too much.

[Anonymous No.4262474]

>be in school library, raining outside, was with a bunch of friends (cool guys, smoke and sex n all)
>find a place to chill
>there was a little talking going on (some class thing in the back), so quiet talking wasnt a crime then
>point out bunch of fags playing chess
>guyshavenolifelol.jpeg
>find Nietzsche's 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra'
>read the back, good stuff
>point out guys playing minecraft in the computers
>friend throws a small book at them
>we lmfao
>pick up The Divine Comedy
>read that shit

pretty much my life, when one of my mates asked me what im doing im like 'i dunno lol'

[Anonymous No.4262477]

>>4262428
I tittered.

Phallus' are funny man.

[Anonymous No.4262480]

>>4262474
You're a faggot.

[Anonymous No.4262488]

>>4262480

[Anonymous No.4262493]

>>4262474
You sound like a horrible human being.

[Anonymous No.4262496]

>>4262474

I can't tell how deep a level of satire this is.

[Anonymous No.4262509]

>>4262474
Horrible story, please leave.

[Anonymous No.4262534]

>Get mugged by niggers every morning at the library.
>They say something like 'ay mang gimme yo fukin' ca$h yhu fukn ((whyte) bitch.'
>"Okay."
>One day the shitskin and his crew approaches me
>He says the usual 'ay mang gimme yo fukin' ca$h yhu fukn ((whyte) bitch.'
>I say no
>He looks at me confused, grabs my research papers and rips them in half effortlessly with his brute strength
>" Do me a big favor, nigger, take out your black serpent cock and fuck off."
>Him and his crew take me outside and beat the shit out of me.
>All I remember was rolling in the snow and getting kicked by a muddy kmart shoes.
>Walk to class, muddy, blooded, and humiliated.
>All I remember was rolling in the snow and getting stomped by muddy kmart shoes.
> Later in the afternoon I report the nigger to the local police. He gets sent to prison for a couple of years.

[Anonymous No.4262538]

>>4262534
Would've had more sympathy for you without the racism. That's just me. I don't want to hear your justification.

[Anonymous No.4262544]

>>4262534

I went with my sister to an underwater weighing test.

She wore a swimming suit with her hair tied back so she enjoyed minutes of being underwater.

[Anonymous No.4262546]

>>4262534
seems...

[Anonymous No.4262551]

>>4262538
There's no place for you here, nigger lover.

[Anonymous No.4262568]

>>4261925
It's really not your perspective is just skewed because 4chan

[Anonymous No.4262573]

>>4262568
4chan and its memes have skewed the perspective of an entire generation of lonely men brah

[Anonymous No.4262595]

>>4262538

fuck niggers

[Anonymous No.4262614]

>>4262595
that's racist

[Anonymous No.4262617]

>>4262595
how old are you to have that saved on your computer?

[Anonymous No.4262625]

>>4262544
Please no, anything but that.

[Anonymous No.4262631]

>Be me
>Go to the nearest bookshop next to where I live, in Paris
>Here to buy classical poetry
>Find the books, pay cash
>Walk out of the bookshop
>A group of qt teenage japanese girls ask me where the Moulin Rouge is
>Tell them it's on my way and I'll show them
>They follow me
>Start talking to one of the cutest girls of the group, I tell her I'm a french writer, which seems to really amaze her
>Lead them to one of the most dangerous neighborhoods of the city, tell them to keep on that direction and leave, running as fast as I can
>A sun beam warms the back of my head while I keep on running with my precious books in my hands and tears of joy in my eyes. I laugh and laugh like an insane man through the streets, thinking about how those girls are probably getting into troubles right now. In this moment, I am infinite. Tonight, my parents will be proud of me because I misguided another group of tourists.


Feels good to be french.

[Anonymous No.4262635]

>>4260634
lol I know that feel

[Anonymous No.4262638]

>>4262631
>dangerous neighborhood
>paris

pick one

[Anonymous No.4262645]

I think many of the stories in this thread are fictional.

[Anonymous No.4262647]

>>4262638

There are some places where you should avoid going in Paris. I've lived there my whole life. Part of the 18th district is troublesome (not that much, but still enough for a group of young foreign girls not to want to go there on their own).

[Anonymous No.4262652]

>>4262645
You are a smart person.

[Anonymous No.4262654]

>>4262647
taurais du les mettre sur le rer d direction stade de france

[Anonymous No.4262657]

>>4259915
Hey /lit/ how do you all deal with stuff like this?

I get infuriated at the slightest thing when people mess with me, especially when they don't even know me

You can't just fuck with somebody and not follow through, if you make an enemy then you've made an enemy

I NEED TO KILL TO GET MY ANGST AND ANGER OUT /LIT/ HELP ME

I ALREADY AM ARMED EVERYWHERE I GO STOOOOOOP MEEE

[Anonymous No.4262661]

>>4262657
say it, don't shout it

[Anonymous No.4262664]

>>4260101
>these are all the books I have ever read.jpg

[Anonymous No.4262677]

>>4262631
Blanche, ligne 2

[Anonymous No.4262690]

>>4262657

Shrug it off. Don't project your insecurities onto laughing people, especially not violently. Grow up, basically.

[Anonymous No.4262692]

>tfw you spend like 5 minutes trying to self-checkout a book but it won't work and you feel like a failure for maldesigned technology

[Anonymous No.4262695]

>>4261713
>mobile
aite u r 1 cheeky m8

[Anonymous No.4262696]

>>4261713

oh shit, actually i remembered an even more pathetic one, back when I was even worse socially

>in sixth (final) year of secondary school
>was nerd of the year, no friends, never went to any parties (never invited), doing more subjects than anyone else, used it as an excuse to go to the library at lunchtimes to do work
>one day a qtpa2t 5th year girl goes up to me in the library
>"Did you do maths in 5th year."
>"Yeah"
>"What grade did you get?"
>"An A"
>"Can you help me with these questions?"
>she shows me the questions and answers
>book says "Find the derivatives."
>stuff like x^2, or 2x^-5, genuine easy babby shit
>stare at answers and questions for like 20 seconds, drawing a 100 % blank, thinking how do you go from the questions to answers?
>eventually she figures out I'm clueless and leaves
>suddenly realise I got mixed up between derivative and integral
>was near her in the corridor straight after, started saying something like, "Hey I realised why..."
>she heard no trace of my quiet beta voice, or maybe just pretended not to hear

oh yeah and I never went to prom and have had no friends since, despite being in 4th year of uni

and I spent tonnes of lunchtimes during my friendless last year at school reading chuck palahniuk novels in the forest that was nearby my school (my taste quickly improved and developed though, I was a book noob)

[Anonymous No.4262719]

>>4261901
>americans

[Anonymous No.4262739]

>>4262696
>had no friends since, despite being in 4th year of uni
but I'm sure you're fine with it that way.

[Anonymous No.4262769]

>>4262696
What did/do you study?

[Anonymous No.4262772]

>>4260101
This just screams, "I'm an edgy reader!"

[Anonymous No.4262790]

>>4262696

better justify you're existence with an amazing book or something

[Anonymous No.4262797]

>>4262696
it´s funny cause you actually sound very normal (for how you write)

[Anonymous No.4262803]

>>4260557
Damn I remember these in Resident Evil 2 lel

Also y'all niggas crazy. The most awkward I've ever been in a library is carrying a shitload of books and hissing 'goddammit' when they fell in the children's section of a library.

[Anonymous No.4262849]

>at library
>looking at books on the Nuremberg trials for school project
>the one I need is a reference book
>tip-toe to the window
>look around
>toss book out window
>casually walk outside and pick book up and research the shit out of it

[sange !Fde5Qjfb5g No.4262862]

what the fuck is a library?

[Anonymous No.4262886]

>>4260066
pic of letter or it never happened

[Anonymous No.4262909]

>>4259777
>be in local library
>10/10 girl walks in and sits down
>holy fuck
>resume reading
>catch short fat ginger guy next to me perving at her non stop
>resume reading
>catch him again
>girl is obvious
>watch guy write something down on paper
>watch him psyche himself up
>watch him stroll over to her and place paper on her desk
>hear him mumble something
>girl just glances at paper,and him then resumes reading.
>does't even look up at him as he's talking
>she just has a forced smile
>guy keeps letting out real awkward nervous laughter
>ppl begin telling him to be quiet and leve the girl alone
>he looks confused now
>he sheepishly leaves
>girl hasn't looked up from her book the whole time
>she leaves shortly after
>she leaves his note on desk
>go to read it
>"if you ever fancy a good time,i would love to take you out, call me 948585660 mike x"
> damn you betas

[Anonymous No.4262913]

>>4262849
I'm not sure if this is just me but I can take out reference books just fine. It beeps and shit when I leave but no one cares.

[Anonymous No.4262925]

>>4262862
ha ha ah hah hah hahah ha ha haheh heh eh ha eah

[Anonymous No.4262944]

>>4262544
continue pls

[Anonymous No.4263084]

>>4262909

Perth?

[Anonymous No.4263265]

>>4260205

[Anonymous No.4263448]

>>4259872
Almost 10/10, -1 for bad castellano, +2 for making me laugh at bad castellano.

[Anonymous No.4263467]

>>4259777
oh God, something similar happened to me in an exam once.

>Music playing continuously throughout
>Gets especially loud during a song after about half and hour (I think it was Boris's Flood 2).
>Look back at the young women sitting behind me
>Realize, with mortification, it's coming from my coat pocket
>Take my 'pod out of my coat and turn it off as they chuckle to themselves

That class turned out to be my lowest university grade

[Anonymous No.4263477]

>>4262215
I'm pretty sure the word "postmodern" got applied to architecture before it did literary theory.

Also, you're making the rather odd implication that there's no ideological significance to the design of the spaces we move around in and inhabit on a constant basis. Granted, I figure it'd be hard to pin down exactly how it works, but I'm sure somebody's done it, and quite possibly done it well.

[Anonymous No.4263508]

>>4262474
NO COMPRENDE

[Anonymous No.4263532]

>>4262909
you're not fooling anybody Mike

[Anonymous No.4263640]

>>4262173
>Implying you are not the nigger, since you are the one that likes modern "art".

[Anonymous No.4263644]

>>4263477
>Postmodernism
>I'm sure somebody's done it, and quite possibly done it well
>Postmodernism
>done it well
>Postmodernism
>well

Seems you don't understand what the fuck you are talking about.

[Anonymous No.4263654]

>>4263477
The Poetics of Space, by Bachelard is a pretty neato example

[Anonymous No.4263655]

>>4260144

Pochemushka is always used with kids.

[Anonymous No.4264004]

>unexpected trip to school library
>dress shoes, leather soled, loud as shit
you know where this is going
yes
>I need to be at the other fucking end of the library
>trying to walk as quietly as possible
>CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK
>get my shit and leave with the reddest cheeks ever known to man

Chicks with heels go by every few minutes or so, so it's probably not that strange of an occurrence, but boy did I feel like a dick.

[Anonymous No.4264138]

>>4264004
the worse is the cheeks, just thinking about them reddening makes them redden

[Anonymous No.4264465]

>>4262474
you sound like a character written by Ellis

[Anonymous No.4264472]

>>4262657
just walk up to them and stare at them while making soft but unintelligible noises

[Anonymous No.4264479]

>>4264004
what? I love loud shoes. It makes me feel like a boss when I purposefully stride somewhere and the loud clicks and clacks draw everybody's eyes

[Anonymous No.4264527]

>>4262474
2deep4me

[Anonymous No.4266206]

>>4262538
>2013
>defending niggers

[Anonymous No.4266780]

This isn't a humiliation story but it's better than nothing.

>at uni library
>tonnes of qts everywhere as usual
>coming up to valentines day
>r9k and lit are my favourite boards
>think to myself: "Surely if there's a girl in the library during the evening of valentine's day then it means she's a qtpa2t nerdy girl who could be my qt gf. I should talk to her."
>obviously joking, I wouldn't do anything, but I had work so I stayed in the library until evening on valentine's day
>5 pm
>hot girl nearby
>"holy shit, a girl this hot could be qtnerdy enough to be my gf!"
>she leaves before 6 pm
>7 pm

>not a single girl around
>zero
>only males
>even looked on arts floor
>in a uni that's like 52 % female

If you think your library qt is doing anything but sucking chad cock from multiple people then you don't know shit about anything

[Anonymous No.4267555]

>>4260410
>I attempted to chase some local camwhore down
Congratulations on your mild terrorism I suppose.